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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hello dears!

I thought I would ask for your expert opinion on this matter. I'll try to make it as brief as possible.

I've been friends with this guy, an ESFP, for about six months now. It started off as totally platonic, as he had just been dumped by his long-term girlfriend and was completely heartbroken. It ended abruptly and they ceased all contact, to this day. I kind of counseled him through it, and we were in separate states at the time. He started flirting with me a lot (more than the usual ESFP flirtage... haha) and when I came home for the summer, we hung out, and ended up making out.

We kept in contact and still remained good friends, it didn't really feel weird, but nothing else physical happened between us (we rarely see each other in person) until randomly two nights ago... when we hooked up in his backseat. Whoops.

Here's the thing. He's still a mess over his ex. Thinks about it all the time, and not only that, talks to me about it all the time-- which to me, seems a bit awkward, even if we are just friends, there obviously is some sort of connection there beyond that, whether it's just physical or not. He'll always get depressed/in bad moods simply when he thinks about her, and I know it's because he's not over her.

My question is WHY?! I cannot grasp it. As an ENFP, I am totally ruled by feelings and I still don't understand why someone would still be mentally clinging to their ex when they haven't even spoken to them in six months-- and why they would bring it up with a girl they're a little bit "involved" with.

Help?
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
He probably liked his ex more than you.
Yeah, that's obvious, but thanks. I'm not really seeking advice in terms of my relationship with him-- it was never emotionally driven to begin with. I am more curious about why he is not able to move on from this girl and is still letting it negatively impact his life after so long, because I don't get it, so I was wondering if it was an ESFP thing. That's all.
 
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