@
Ahiko oh you are amazing :kitteh:
Hehe I'm older than my ESTJ crush. It's just a couple of years, but I'm in my late teens. And a 2.5 year gap seems like it's more when you're a teenager. I'll probably look like a terrible role model (if that's what older teenagers are meant to be to the younger ones) because he's SO much more organised, serious and rational than I am.
Which leads me to ask the question: do you know anything about young ESTJs? Or actually, would an older ENFP and a younger ESTJ lead to a disastrous relationship?
Ohh, the late teen years.
I'm not really 100% sure about younger ESTJs, but I'm sure there might be some threads on their forum.
I actually tried fishing it out of him, but he's really good at dodging me when he doesn't feel like chatting about trivial things, especially when it's about himself. xD It's 4am though and we've been studying since, so I can understand. I'll try to get you some true information from him some time.
Here are some of my observations:
He did mention that was a lot more impatient before. Efficiency and productivity seem to be a big deal to him and he would get easily annoyed if things weren't done efficiently enough. That's a problem for us ENFPs cuz most times, we're not efficient at all! Dx I can see it setting an ESTJ off if they don't have the patience for us. It also doesn't help that depending on our emotional/mental healthiness, ENFP can seem like we don't take ourselves seriously or think it's not a huge problem how we approach something as long as we get it done (although I do remember myself taking things too seriously and being too hard on myself). I think an ESTJ would need to be open and accepting of that with us otherwise there will be conflict. I can see it more of a problem for less mature types.
He also mentioned that he would look down on people if he felt like they weren't on the same level of intelligence as he was. I was actually the same way too, when I was younger, but the main differences I can see are confidence and self-esteem. Depending on your level of confidence, I have a feeling ESTJs beat us with that, hands down. It seems like ENFPs when we get into our internal thinking mode, we tend to doubt ourselves and our place in our environments, etc. I would guess younger ESTJs may have their own doubts, but not to the extent as I had when I was younger. >.<
He also mentioned he would be in a lot of bad moods in early college. I think this was after his first relationship ended. You might want to look up how stressed ESTJs act, because it seemed like he went through a long period of deep stress. I remember his friends would say that he would always be angry and isolate himself to only play video games.
As for older ENFP female and younger ESTJ male.. I think it depends if the ESTJ guy is okay with you being the younger. I get the vibe that ESTJ seem to value tradition and the norm (social norms) a lot. It seems like my ESTJ internalized and already had it set that he would be the provider in the relationship, no matter what. I have a feeling their values and ideas of these things are the same too, when they're younger. I believe ESTJs will tend to fit what they think is their their natural societal role (males being the provider, females being the supporter) perfectly. With my ESTJ, he loves being the dominant role -- he likes being the one to pay for dinners, do any manly labor and be a good partner. Anything that emasculates him
really doesn't make him feel good. So I feel like for a younger ESTJ male, it would still be the same.
Oh, and my ESTJ is actually 3 months younger than me, but we didn't feel that gap was significant enough to affect our relationship dynamic. As long as he's playing the role of the man in the relationship, he's very content.

It also helps a lot that we're practically on the same level on many things (intellectually, maturity, emotionally, age) so being on the same page and seeing eye-to-eye and seeing each other as equals helps a lot.
Other things to note, ENFPs especially younger can get really intense and clingy in relationships. My SO said that stuff is a massive turn-off. It also seems like ESTJ take their time with relationships, so building up that trust through a solid friendship will be a good starting point if you want to take it to the next level after. :] Also, my ESTJ likes his alone time, especially with his guys. Even now, I get jealous and have trouble not getting needy, but it's something ENFP will really need to learn too -- patience!
I think ENFP and ESTJ combo is good because our differences complement well. There are also obvious strengths in certain values that each type finds in the other. It does take conscious efforts on both parts to make the relationship work, though, but if you're both willing to work through it all, it's worth the challenge and both people will definitely grow from this kind of relationship. Doing good so far! :]
Good luck with your ESTJ! Feel free to let us know how it goes.
