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I'm sure this has been discussed somewhere else, but when I'm in a self-loathing, agitated mood, I feel like there's a very pissed off ESTJ living in my head. Since I've been pretty damn unhappy with my life/situation for the past 4 years it almost feels like this entity has become a part of me.

When I'm feeling better and don't hear the constant critical self-talk (ex. you're a wimp, you're disorganized, you're life is in shambles, you can't afford to make another mistake, you're a waste of space, you have to get your shit together, idiot!) I feel more relaxed, but also unmotivated to make the changes I need to make. It's weird. Can anyone relate to feeling a connection to your shadow function? When I'm feeling unmotivated, sometimes I purposely do things that I know will just make me hate myself more. The problem is, this sort of hatred ultimately exhausts me and sometimes leads me to suicidal thoughts and self-harm.
 

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Your shadow is how you function in stressful situations, using the functions that don't come as naturally to you. Negative self talk is not your shadow. It is also not an entity within you that you must accept and co-exist with. I'm not harping on semantics - it's important because by labeling your negative thoughts in this way you are giving their existence validity and power, putting yourself in the position of a victim, and creating a self-fulfilling prophesy. It's really tough, what you are dealing with. But you have the power to change your self talk.

This site has some really good questions you can ask about each of the statements you mentioned to challenge them: Challenging Negative Self-Talk | Psych Central
 

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Next time you hear the self loathing talk commence, just tell your inner ESTJ to go F*ck off. Ha! That should make you feel better! :kitteh:

Seriously, negative self talk is something I am battling all the time. I am so much meaner to myself than I am to anyone else. I am working hard to replace the self-hating things I say in my head with acceptance and forgiveness. It is really hard to reprogram that channel, though. I am just trying to treat myself with the same courtesy and affection as I treat my loved ones. It's a work in progress.
 

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I do know exactly what you mean. What I really struggle with is finding a way to make positive changes (become more organized, follow through with goals, stop procrastinating) without turning myself into crazy shadow ESTJ. I can get all ESTJ for a short while, but I don't feel like myself. Seeing positive changes in my life is a thrill, but the person I become to get those things done isn't the real me. I am trying to find my INFP balance. A version of myself that is healthy and grows but is also better able to cope with challenges in the world and keep my life in an order that makes me happy and proud of myself. It doesn't help that America tends to hold up ESTJ as the be-all end-all of good traits. So behaving like our shadow function might get us some rewards, even if we realize that there are a lot of negative aspects that doing so cultivates in our psyche.
 

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My ESTJ shadow, if there is such a thing, is a little like General George S Patton. VERY judgmental and mean, kicking everyone's butt, picture people cowering in fear and me burning down villages. Negative self talk during that time? Oh yeah, I'm negative but the negativity is focused outward unto others, not me. I very rarely hate myself. More so, it's brief, very brief tours of duty of hating others. No way will I hurt myself, I will hurt others.
 

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My ESTJ shadow, if there is such a thing, is a little like General George S Patton. VERY judgmental and mean, kicking everyone's butt, picture people cowering in fear and me burning down villages. Negative self talk during that time? Oh yeah, I'm negative but the negativity is focused outward unto others, not me. I very rarely hate myself. More so, it's brief, very brief tours of duty of hating others. No way will I hurt myself, I will hurt others.
I imagined you burninate the countryside by the end of your first sentence
Sorry, random (.__.)
 

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......
I imagined you burninate the countryside by the end of your first sentence
Sorry, random (.__.)
Haha... Now every time I switch into my Patton mode I'll hear that song from the video "Burninator... Burning all the villages and the people.... Burninator.......". :laughing: For a few days of silliness I think I'll add "Burninator" to my signature.
 
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