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Discussion Starter #1
Hi all,
this is me:

  • Italian
  • Woman
  • 34yrs old
  • happily married to a gorgeous INFJ man. We've been married for three years but dating since 2001 (OMG, that's 12 years!!!) and I can proudly say we are still deeply in love
  • we have an always-smiling son of 15 month and are planning to make him a bigger brother.. :wink:
  • I'm a telecommunication engineer and I'm Italian, so this MIGHT o MIGHT NOT explayn my deep love for style, fashion, design and technology.

I don't know anything about psychiatry, but I just discovered this Mayer-Briggs Type Indicator and I'm pretty intrigued by how I see me and my husband to perfectly match our type description.
Furthermore, I love good questions and, as a mother, I can not answer the question "why"
:tongue:.
Please, feel free to ask anything you'd always wanted to ask to an ESTJ. :happy:

Sil.
 

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Please, feel free to ask anything you'd always wanted to ask to an ESTJ. :happy:

Sil.
Hi Sil!

Thank you for giving us here at the INFJ forum a chance to ask you questions. :)

I have a good ESTJ friend/work partner. She's always ready and willing to help anyone who's in trouble, is a warm and welcoming person who brings people together, busy working in the arts as a producer and is an expert in taking care of the practical things enabling people to create in the community. She also has a great deadpan sense of humour who loves her friends very much. :)

I was wondering what you, as an ESTJ, find INFJs are like? What do you think make the ESTJ/INFJ team a good combination? Any tips for long term success to the INFJ/ESTJ couples on the forum?
 

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Hey Sil, as above I thank you for letting us ask you some questions :)

I was wondering how you two met? It just seems that a lot of INFJ's (and me) find it difficult to make connections with people in general, especially romantic ones. Did you have any advice? Did you start off as friends for a long time?

And what traits did your husband possess that you love so much?

Thanks again, and hope you enjoy these forums! :)
 

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Discussion Starter #4
Hi there! :)

I was wondering what you, as an ESTJ, find INFJs are like?
Mmm.. I think I could use way too many words to describe you.. But probably what I mostly notice is that you are..
- curious.. you always see something that I honestly don't catch at first sight
- sensible.. I sometimes am genuinely shocked by how words/attitude can influence my husband's feelings
- private.. which is complicated but makes me so proud to be the one he admitted in his circle
and above all.. a mistery!! so fascinating! :blushed:

What do you think make the ESTJ/INFJ team a good combination?
Mmm.. I'm not sure I could generalize saying that ESTJ/INFJ is a good combination. I think that the type of ESTJ that I am is well combinated with the type of INFJ that he is. Do you get what I mean?
Let me give an example.. I am very process oriented, and I definitely like to plan, but I don't panic when my plan need to be postponed/changed (how many times did I want to go out but my son was too tired and we had to stay home and let him have a nap? :laughing:). Ok, I don't like it, but I really am not stressed. Does this applies to all ESTJ? I'm not sure ;)
Then let's say that we are thinking about the weekend.. What will we do? We have a kid: we MUST plan at least a tiny bit! (Do we?) My husband sometimes says he doesn't "feel like thinking about it in this moment", which of course is something that drives me nuts ahaha, but I discovered that if I plan something and tell him, he likes it! He probably likes he didn't have to go mad thinking about making a plan, but the thing is even better.. he likes to have a plan!!! Does this applies to all INFJ? I'm not sure ;)

Any tips for long term success to the INFJ/ESTJ couples on the forum?
Here's what I would say in a few words..
ESTJ: listen (not only with you ears!) and be careful when talking. Note: respect INFJ's need to rebuild energy by having quiet time alone: he/she's not trying to avoid you!
INFJ: Please, sometimes do things without thinking too much about it. Waiting for you to act might be frustrating for an ESTJ. Note: not respecting an ESTJ plan is equal to hurt his/her feeling.

I really enjoied answering to your questions.. Do you see anything with a different prospective? :)
 

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Hi PC!

I was wondering how you two met?
We met at the university.. we had some friend in common and we met for the first time at lunch. Then we happend to meet at some course or at lunch again, with other friends. Nothing special I would say.
I found him stunning and with an halo of mistery I could hardly resist. I guess he was probably just shy and quiet, as all INFJs probably are. Things started to get romantic when our common friend told him: "What? You're going to meet and study ALONE with her?!! Impossible!! Man, if you succeed with her, which I think it's impossible, I'll buy you a coffee!!" Or maybe that was already late? :blushed:

It just seems that a lot of INFJ's (and me) find it difficult to make connections with people in general, especially romantic ones. Did you have any advice?
Mmm.. You're an INFJ so I guess you don't really want/need a concrete solution.. :) Then I would tell you to focus on the word "connection" that you used. If you plan to "connect" with an ESTJ you should keep in mind what connection means to US and not to YOU. (Am I being rude/too direct? As usual, I don't have a clue.) Anyway.. What I mean is NOT that you don't have to care about what you mean with connection, but that you should focus on what WE notice. A very simple example (I can't avoid being concrete :happy:): eye-contact is nice. But if it isn't followed by a concrete action, like saying hallo with a hand or (easier?) a smile (read:a big noticeable smile!!), it means NOTHING to an ESTJ :laughing:.
I would add.. INFJ are very misterious.. use this fascination!! Example (ehehe, concreteness..): Have you seen a gorgeous girl and want to talk to her? Go there, smile and say "Hallo". Then be silent, without adding anything, and wait for her answer. Saying nothing.. says a lot! And who better then you is good on saying nothing? :)

Did you start off as friends for a long time?
Nope. We were colleagues, but never friends. :wink:

And what traits did your husband possess that you love so much?
As I said in the other post, I found him curious (he always sees something that I honestly don't catch at first sight), sensible (I sometimes am genuinely shocked by how words/attitude can influence his feelings), private (which is complicated but makes me so proud to be the one he admitted in his circle) and a complete mistery.. so fascinating.
Well, the fact that he has a great butt doesn't count as a "trait", right?

Does what I wrote makes sense? :)
 
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