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Hi ESTPs! Female INFJ here looking for some insight on ~a guy~.

I started a new job in June of this year in a training group with about 30 others. From the beginning, I felt a mutual attraction between myself and an ESTP. We started talking nearly every work day, just chatting and laughing together, nothing serious at all. After about a month, I realized I was crushing on him, and I sensed he felt the same way.

A couple months later, and I overheard him mention his girlfriend to a coworker of ours. This was completely new news to me, and after he mentioned her to the coworker, he glanced over at me... I think to gauge my reaction. He eventually started bringing her up in passing to me, but very rarely.

So, don't judge me, but...

Fast forward to now, and everything has been building up for months. We're both obsessed with each other and talk constantly while at work. We normally are very comfortable, but randomly have moments where you could cut our tension with a knife. He opens up to me, always tries to make me laugh, is very attentive, and we are just like a sounding board and support system for each other. His work best friend has grilled me about my dating life, what I'm interested in, etc. (his work best friend is gay btw, so he obviously wasn't asking for himself). The ESTP is more of a guy's guy. and I've noticed I'm the only girl he acts this way towards. My work friend told me he once described me as "so fucking cool and funny" when someone brought me up.

I do want to add that, though we're constantly talking, he seems to try to not cross any lines. He doesn't compliment me, talk about wanting to be with me, ask me about my dating life, rag on his girlfriend in front of me, etc. So I think it's why things have progressed without feeling too risky. But he's so darn playful, will point at me from across the room while surrounded by people, has nicknames for me, teases me, respects my opinion, tries to impress me, is always eager to help me with my work.

*sigh* Anyway...

I've never sensed he's happy with his girlfriend. They live together and have been a couple about 2 1/2 years. I've overheard him complaining about her to his work best friend. Every time he's mentioned her to me, it's in passing and in a matter-of-fact way. He and I just recently became Facebook friends, and he has no relationship info and no pictures with her. They're currently on a 2 week trip in Europe that he paid for and they've been planning for about a year, so there's a tiny part of me that thinks maybe he's considering breaking up with her after. Of course he keeps posting pictures from the trip, but none with her in it...

ESTPs, in your reliably honest opinion - what are some possibilities here?

TIA.
 

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ESTPs, in your reliably honest opinion - what are some possibilities here?

TIA.
What can you do? He's in a relationship and so far has done nothing to end it. Even if he did make a move on you while in his current relationship, I don't think it would be in your best interest to act on it since he has a girlfriend. Seriously, do you want a guy who would cheat? It's a credit to him that he hasn't acted on his attraction to you while still with his girlfriend. It shows that he's loyal.

You'll have to just wait it out and see what happens, IMO.
 

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Fast forward to now, and everything has been building up for months. We're both obsessed with each other and talk constantly while at work. We normally are very comfortable, but randomly have moments where you could cut our tension with a knife. He opens up to me, always tries to make me laugh, is very attentive, and we are just like a sounding board and support system for each other. His work best friend has grilled me about my dating life, what I'm interested in, etc. (his work best friend is gay btw, so he obviously wasn't asking for himself). The ESTP is more of a guy's guy. and I've noticed I'm the only girl he acts this way towards. My work friend told me he once described me as "so fucking cool and funny" when someone brought me up.

...

I've never sensed he's happy with his girlfriend. They live together and have been a couple about 2 1/2 years. I've overheard him complaining about her to his work best friend. Every time he's mentioned her to me, it's in passing and in a matter-of-fact way. He and I just recently became Facebook friends, and he has no relationship info and no pictures with her. They're currently on a 2 week trip in Europe that he paid for and they've been planning for about a year, so there's a tiny part of me that thinks maybe he's considering breaking up with her after. Of course he keeps posting pictures from the trip, but none with her in it...

ESTPs, in your reliably honest opinion - what are some possibilities here?

TIA.
Seems like the obsession is one-sided or exaggerated on your end, at least.
Of course you don't sense that he's happy with his girlfriend. :dry:

You obviously want a relationship despite the odds, so the only option is to go full Fatal Attraction on him. Would not recommend as that might be embarrassing for you.
 

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What can you do? He's in a relationship and so far has done nothing to end it. Even if he did make a move on you while in his current relationship, I don't think it would be in your best interest to act on it since he has a girlfriend. Seriously, do you want a guy who would cheat? It's a credit to him that he hasn't acted on his attraction to you while still with his girlfriend. It shows that he's loyal.

You'll have to just wait it out and see what happens, IMO.
Right, my hands are pretty much tied... and I agree I wouldn't want him to cheat. The most I could possibly do would be to talk with him about things.

I was more looking for other insight, like what as an ESTP he may or may not be inclined to do. But I know even that's a tricky judgment call to make.

Thanks.
 

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Seems like the obsession is one-sided or exaggerated on your end, at least.
Of course you don't sense that he's happy with his girlfriend. :dry:

You obviously want a relationship despite the odds, so the only option is to go full Fatal Attraction on him. Would not recommend as that might be embarrassing for you.
LOL Fatal Attraction.

Of course I'm likely to be biased, but he has been questioning breaking up with her and has been seeking advice. I'm not the kind of person to assume things.

Regardless, I appreciate the post. I don't know what advice I'm expecting, and I feel like a jackass for my feelings getting this far.
 

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LOL Fatal Attraction.

Of course I'm likely to be biased, but he has been questioning breaking up with her and has been seeking advice. I'm not the kind of person to assume things.

Regardless, I appreciate the post. I don't know what advice I'm expecting, and I feel like a jackass for my feelings getting this far.
Meh. You were probably looking for fellow estps to give you signs that you may have a shot at being his next girl. Like assurance that your attentions may pay off some day.

There's no harm in having a crush as long as you don't do anything that compromises your integrity. Cuz really, you don't know this dude or what's really going on, only what he tells you and what you overhear.
 

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I was more looking for other insight, like what as an ESTP he may or may not be inclined to do. But I know even that's a tricky judgment call to make.
Well, right now he's working on his relationship with his current girlfriend. I can't say what he might do in the future. Heck, he probably doesn't even know what he might do in the future. I can tell you that as an ESTP I am not a future-focused person. Thinking about the future frustrates me because I can't act on it. If he's truly an ESTP he's probably just taking things one day at a time and not giving the future too much thought.

BTW, I wouldn't read too much into the fact that he hasn't posted any relationship info or pictures of his gf on FB. When in a relationship I rarely post relationship stuff on my FB. ESTPs are typically not sentimental like that. I may post about an activity I've done with my bf and mention his name, but it's usually the activity that is the focus of my post, not my bf.
 

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Well, right now he's working on his relationship with his current girlfriend. I can't say what he might do in the future. Heck, he probably doesn't even know what he might do in the future. I can tell you that as an ESTP I am not a future-focused person. Thinking about the future frustrates me because I can't act on it. If he's truly an ESTP he's probably just taking things one day at a time and not giving the future too much thought.

BTW, I wouldn't read too much into the fact that he hasn't posted any relationship info or pictures of his gf on FB. When in a relationship I rarely post relationship stuff on my FB. ESTPs are typically not sentimental like that. I may post about an activity I've done with my bf and mention his name, but it's usually the activity that is the focus of my post, not my bf.
That makes sense. I know overanalyzing it won't give me an answer, lol, and I'm regretting making the post. He gives me an awful lot of attention he doesn't give to anyone else at work, and I can tell he has feelings for me. But all I can do is take it as it comes and see how it plays out I guess.

Thanks!
 

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I'm not an ESTP, I'm an INFJ, and just wanna say that I'm in a very similar situation :,D I tend to get "obsessive and crazy" over my feelings for someone, because when I feel a connection it's special to me. Hopefully it works out for you and everyone, I know the spell having a crush on an ESTP guy can put you under :p
 
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