At times I miss the ISTP I dated... We were extremely sexually compatible.... He was fun to be around and occasionally I was even successful at dragging him out of the house! He was really more of a homebody than anything else. Sadly, we drifted apart because of our works and my school. It just became harder and harder to actually find time to talk on the phone, let alone get together. We did fit well together while it last though... We were both understanding of work schedules and class schedules. We never made plans, just called each other up when we wanted to try and get together. Worked out quite well, until work picked up for him, and my classes picked up for me.
ESTP/ISTP interactions, friendships, relationships?
Please share your stories, thoughts and opinions on your fellow SP's 
1 - 20 of 61 Posts
I have one confirmed ISTP friend but I have only known him for about 6 months. I really enjoy hanging out with him. He is a more relaxed version of me. Major differences are he tires easily and likes to stay home and sleep and his attitude is very laid back. When he is out he is happy and likes to drink. He comes off as someone who doesn't care and at first glance somewhat of a lack wit. He is an engineer though and really rather smart. I have a suspicion he wants the world to see him this way.
I have dated an ESTP (about one month) and ISTP (about two months). xSTP's in general are great to be around - for me, at least - because we have so much in common. They are fun, relaxed, and all the like. I am still good friends with the ESTP, but the ISTP I want nothing to do with because he turned out to be such an ass; nonetheless, he was a 'cool' person before he showed his true colors. My brother is also an ISTP - we can usually have fun together, but he also has other tendencies that make him unpleasant to be around (nothing to do with ISTP's, just him in general).
I don't follow peoples types when deciding whom I will or will not be friends with - or even date for that matter; however, I have noticed a pattern: I tend to have more friendship-based relationships with xSTP's, and for actual long-term relationships I tend to do best with NT's - specifically xNTJ's (my two longest relationships, the longest being two years, were with INTJ's - one possibly being ENTJ).
(I don't know why I added that in - I just felt it was somewhat relevant)
I don't follow peoples types when deciding whom I will or will not be friends with - or even date for that matter; however, I have noticed a pattern: I tend to have more friendship-based relationships with xSTP's, and for actual long-term relationships I tend to do best with NT's - specifically xNTJ's (my two longest relationships, the longest being two years, were with INTJ's - one possibly being ENTJ).
(I don't know why I added that in - I just felt it was somewhat relevant)
Curious to those who have dated ISTP's. Did you find the interaction to be adversarial?
Never... We had a lot of the same views on different aspects of life...and always had good conversations. We never once had a disagreement. Our schedules just really conflicted and we ended up drifting apart because of it.Curious to those who have dated ISTP's. Did you find the interaction to be adversarial?
I responded to a thread on ESTJs dating. I think the perfect match would be E/ISTP. We share the same core temperament values, use the same two dominant functions, are direct with our interaction. I would love to have found an ESTP female, but like male INFJs being rare, I think that ESTP females are just as rare since this is generally a male type.
Edit;
What i orginally wrote was totally off topic. Misread the title
What i orginally wrote was totally off topic. Misread the title
I've known a ton of ESTP's. One of my best friends in school was one. My dad was one. I used to sell timeshares and work in retail, and there were many.I responded to a thread on ESTJs dating. I think the perfect match would be E/ISTP. We share the same core temperament values, use the same two dominant functions, are direct with our interaction. I would love to have found an ESTP female, but like male INFJs being rare, I think that ESTP females are just as rare since this is generally a male type.
I would nevah date one. Why? Because they are the flakiest of the flakes. As soon as they see a pretty color, they run off and forget you exist. They make tons of friends easily, so it's not hard for them to dump you quickly if someone else fancies them more. We enjoy deep relationships; they don't know the meaning of "deep" and never will. They lie at the drop of a hat too, if it suits them.
My friend in high school - she and her estp friends used to shoplift like there was no tomorrow (yes, I did some, but not like they could). And since they see all sides, they will never be a friend and take your side (which was important to me then), no matter what. They are friends with your enemies. They have no judgement; my friend would hang out with any ole dirtbag that wondered up..... and ended up with many nasty people around as a result. They don't value long-term friends; they value for-the-moment, whoever-is-the-most-fun, friends. It doesn't matter a whit to them whether it is Charles Manson they are talking to vs. Mother Theresa; whoever is the most interesting at that time, wins.
If you're like me, you'll end up feeling used. As long as it's a good time, they're there. As soon as it's not so good anymore, they bail out like their as* is on fire. They don't know the meaning of the word "friend" or "commitment". They know use, use, use, and dump when it's not fun anymore. They seem to go by the same rules for themselves; they share the wealth when they have it and then take when it's there to receive. And it doesn't bother them much to be dumped.
My father was an alcoholic the whole time I was growing up, and was a nasty, abusive drunk. My mother, an ISTJ, was too passive to leave. He would leave the house before she got home to avoid conflict, and come home at 3 am drunk, driving around every night, sloshed out of his mind. Then the abuse would begin. He couldn't have cared less about anyone in the house but himself. He would run around town with his drunken pals and ignore his family. I'm sure he cheated. This guy was nominated for "worst father of the year". He was nonexistent in the fatherly role; he was just around to be an extreme nuisance. Fun, fun, fun isn't fun anymore when it starts affecting other people negatively. Somehow, one way or another, karma will prevail.
My father's insanity finally ended when he received two dwi's and then fell off a roof and had his leg amputated. I suppose he got what he deserved, at least I think so. For the last 20 years of his life, he was grounded, without a real, true friend in the world but my dumb mother. They don't generally make long-lasting true friends.
My other friend from high school, she is 39 and she was married for 3 years and divorced, citing, "he just decided he didn't want to be married anymore". Yea, I wonder why.
Trust me, run as far away from these types as you can, if you want a committed, lasting relationship. I have yet to find one who has even half a shred of decency. They are ok for the spastic, fun time at the bar. That's about it.
Sociopaths emulate them often, because they share their charm, and are usually good at sales. They are shallow folks and not hard to emulate for the sociopath. (Sociopaths are looking for something easy to copy). So don't go off and mistake a sociopath for one of them. I have. I'm sure many of them have been had a time or two themselves lol.
Sweet lord you have the most piss poor attitude I have ever seen. I think maybe you just need to grow up and trust that your friends will grow up as well.I've known a ton of ESTP's. One of my best friends in school was one. My dad was one. I used to sell timeshares and work in retail, and there were many.
I would nevah date one. Why? Because they are the flakiest of the flakes. As soon as they see a pretty color, they run off and forget you exist. They make tons of friends easily, so it's not hard for them to dump you quickly if someone else fancies them more. We enjoy deep relationships; they don't know the meaning of "deep" and never will. They lie at the drop of a hat too, if it suits them.
My friend in high school - she and her estp friends used to shoplift like there was no tomorrow (yes, I did some, but not like they could). And since they see all sides, they will never be a friend and take your side (which was important to me then), no matter what. They are friends with your enemies. They have no judgement; my friend would hang out with any ole dirtbag that wondered up..... and ended up with many nasty people around as a result. They don't value long-term friends; they value for-the-moment, whoever-is-the-most-fun, friends. It doesn't matter a whit to them whether it is Charles Manson they are talking to vs. Mother Theresa; whoever is the most interesting at that time, wins.
If you're like me, you'll end up feeling used. As long as it's a good time, they're there. As soon as it's not so good anymore, they bail out like their as* is on fire. They don't know the meaning of the word "friend" or "commitment". They know use, use, use, and dump when it's not fun anymore. They seem to go by the same rules for themselves; they share the wealth when they have it and then take when it's there to receive. And it doesn't bother them much to be dumped.
My father was an alcoholic the whole time I was growing up, and was a nasty, abusive drunk. My mother, an ISTJ, was too passive to leave. He would leave the house before she got home to avoid conflict, and come home at 3 am drunk, driving around every night, sloshed out of his mind. Then the abuse would begin. He couldn't have cared less about anyone in the house but himself. He would run around town with his drunken pals and ignore his family. I'm sure he cheated. This guy was nominated for "worst father of the year". He was nonexistent in the fatherly role; he was just around to be an extreme nuisance. Fun, fun, fun isn't fun anymore when it starts affecting other people negatively. Somehow, one way or another, karma will prevail.
My father's insanity finally ended when he received two dwi's and then fell off a roof and had his leg amputated. I suppose he got what he deserved, at least I think so. For the last 20 years of his life, he was grounded, without a real, true friend in the world but my dumb mother. They don't generally make long-lasting true friends.
My other friend from high school, she is 39 and she was married for 3 years and divorced, citing, "he just decided he didn't want to be married anymore". Yea, I wonder why.
Trust me, run as far away from these types as you can, if you want a committed, lasting relationship. I have yet to find one who has even half a shred of decency. They are ok for the spastic, fun time at the bar. That's about it.
Sociopaths emulate them often, because they share their charm, and are usually good at sales. They are shallow folks and not hard to emulate for the sociopath. (Sociopaths are looking for something easy to copy). So don't go off and mistake a sociopath for one of them. I have. I'm sure many of them have been had a time or two themselves lol.
Gotta agree with Bob on this one....Sweet lord you have the most piss poor attitude I have ever seen. I think maybe you just need to grow up and trust that your friends will grow up as well.
I dated an ISTP that was an alcoholic and incredibly flaky... I guess this means all ISTPs are alcoholics and flaky right?
Yikes Angel. I don’t want to state the obvious but many times people who know something about typing, make assumptions that result in biased opinions. For example I can’t count the number of times where someone posts that because they had a bad experience with another person or people, they had to be certain types. It’s generally ESPs and ISJs that are the brunt of such negative opinions. So my obvious question here would be did anyone you are alluding to above confirm that they were ESTP? I have had negative experiences on the forums with all types, ESTP no different as well as ISTP. In real life I don't go around typing others so I am not sure whether I am encountering a certain type.I've known a ton of ESTP's. One of my best friends in school was one. My dad was one. I used to sell timeshares and work in retail, and there were many.
I would nevah date one. Why? Because they are the flakiest of the flakes. As soon as they see a pretty color, they run off and forget you exist. They make tons of friends easily, so it's not hard for them to dump you quickly if someone else fancies them more. We enjoy deep relationships; they don't know the meaning of "deep" and never will. They lie at the drop of a hat too, if it suits them.
My friend in high school - she and her estp friends used to shoplift like there was no tomorrow (yes, I did some, but not like they could). And since they see all sides, they will never be a friend and take your side (which was important to me then), no matter what. They are friends with your enemies. They have no judgement; my friend would hang out with any ole dirtbag that wondered up..... and ended up with many nasty people around as a result. They don't value long-term friends; they value for-the-moment, whoever-is-the-most-fun, friends. It doesn't matter a whit to them whether it is Charles Manson they are talking to vs. Mother Theresa; whoever is the most interesting at that time, wins.
If you're like me, you'll end up feeling used. As long as it's a good time, they're there. As soon as it's not so good anymore, they bail out like their as* is on fire. They don't know the meaning of the word "friend" or "commitment". They know use, use, use, and dump when it's not fun anymore. They seem to go by the same rules for themselves; they share the wealth when they have it and then take when it's there to receive. And it doesn't bother them much to be dumped.
My father was an alcoholic the whole time I was growing up, and was a nasty, abusive drunk. My mother, an ISTJ, was too passive to leave. He would leave the house before she got home to avoid conflict, and come home at 3 am drunk, driving around every night, sloshed out of his mind. Then the abuse would begin. He couldn't have cared less about anyone in the house but himself. He would run around town with his drunken pals and ignore his family. I'm sure he cheated. This guy was nominated for "worst father of the year". He was nonexistent in the fatherly role; he was just around to be an extreme nuisance. Fun, fun, fun isn't fun anymore when it starts affecting other people negatively. Somehow, one way or another, karma will prevail.
My father's insanity finally ended when he received two dwi's and then fell off a roof and had his leg amputated. I suppose he got what he deserved, at least I think so. For the last 20 years of his life, he was grounded, without a real, true friend in the world but my dumb mother. They don't generally make long-lasting true friends.
My other friend from high school, she is 39 and she was married for 3 years and divorced, citing, "he just decided he didn't want to be married anymore". Yea, I wonder why.
Trust me, run as far away from these types as you can, if you want a committed, lasting relationship. I have yet to find one who has even half a shred of decency. They are ok for the spastic, fun time at the bar. That's about it.
Sociopaths emulate them often, because they share their charm, and are usually good at sales. They are shallow folks and not hard to emulate for the sociopath. (Sociopaths are looking for something easy to copy). So don't go off and mistake a sociopath for one of them. I have. I'm sure many of them have been had a time or two themselves lol.
Agreed. I have an issue with all types including some ESTPs. I only bring up a specific type on the forum if I KNOW the person's confirmed MBTI type. Otherwise it is pure conjecture.Yikes Angel. I don’t want to state the obvious but many times people who know something about typing, make assumptions that result in biased opinions. For example I can’t count the number of times where someone posts that because they had a bad experience with another person or people, they had to be certain types. It’s generally ESPs and ISJs that are the brunt of such negative opinions. So my obvious question here would be did anyone you are alluding to above confirm that they were ESTP? I have had negative experiences on the forums with all types, ESTP no different as well as ISTP. In real life I don't go around typing others so I am not sure whether I am encountering a certain type.
My dad and my friend are both confirmed. The others I know, yes, some of it is assumed. "If it looks like a duck, and it acts like a duck.....", of course it might not be a duck. Like I said, it might be a sociopath, or other. I grew up around a lot of them, so yea, I know I've seen my share. (My dad's friends, my friend's friends, etc.) The ones I was mainly discussing, I know for a fact they are ESTP. My family and friends have all taken the test. It was very important for me to type them for therapy reasons (relating to my family's disfunction). This is MY FATHER and my old high school friend we are talking about. I have known her since I was six years old. We were close. I KNOW these people, and could type them myself easily, anyways. The rest of it is assumed. My mother - I had to talk to her everyday during therapy. She has been typed and re-typed again. She knows what the deal is. My ex-bf was a sociopath (admittedly), so I've been through a lot of those circles as well. I've been involved in many circles in my life. I haven't been a strong introvert.Yikes Angel. I don’t want to state the obvious but many times people who know something about typing, make assumptions that result in biased opinions. For example I can’t count the number of times where someone posts that because they had a bad experience with another person or people, they had to be certain types. It’s generally ESPs and ISJs that are the brunt of such negative opinions. So my obvious question here would be did anyone you are alluding to above confirm that they were ESTP? I have had negative experiences on the forums with all types, ESTP no different as well as ISTP. In real life I don't go around typing others so I am not sure whether I am encountering a certain type.
(What does "confirmed" mean in the first place? If I am running around here, talking about my type, but I haven't seen a psychologist who will confirm it, to me, that's not "confirmed". I'm typing myself. Are you saying if I typed someone else I have known for 39 years and lived with for 20, that's not confirmed? LOL. I know people who typed me correctly long before I ever typed myself.) So, technically, none of us are truly "confirmed".
I haven't even been over here much or the ISTJ forums. I don't know who is seen negatively and who isn't, for the most part. I just know my own experiences, and if you wanna call that biased, fine with me. It seems like my bf's forum is full of more negativity than anyone's (ENTJ), but he is ok with me because he has standards and morals in place. I've never met an ESTP with those, not to say I wouldn't be happy to have my mind changed. I'm generally open-minded to new experiences.
Here are some sites that are alluding to some of the things I was describing as well:
ESTPs
What's the problem here? Well, while ESTPs are giving undivided attention to the one who IS eye-ball to eye-ball - warm, interested, cheerful and unhurried attention, the one waiting is left "cooling their heels", chafing at the bit at being "stood up" or overlooked again! And the ESTP isn't even bothered. Why? Because they are so generous, outgoing and even-handed that they aren't "bent out of shape" if the roles were to be reversed! And another thing. They are again so objectively accepting of others, that they are clearly able to see all points of view and are also able and willing to articulate that fact - which is maddening to someone who would rather be agreed with or is looking from a friend for support for their already carved-out stance. Trouble is, most ESTPs are generally friends of or friendly towards the other people, too.
If required they can step on anyone or anything often ignoring ethics completely if the situation calls for it.
The flakiness and shallowness is documented if you go read.....that's just their type. They don't create depth, and they don't mind flakiness themselves, so they don't understand why you wouldn't.Gotta agree with Bob on this one....
I dated an ISTP that was an alcoholic and incredibly flaky... I guess this means all ISTPs are alcoholics and flaky right?
I would be happy if someone would come along and change my mind about ESTP's, but thus far, it hasn't happened.
I never said all ESTP's are alcoholics. Flaky - yes.
When people have axes to grind you can't be changed. You have a terrible amount of resentment built up due to your family and therefore seem to be projecting it on the rest of us. Sucks for you.The flakiness and shallowness is documented if you go read.....that's just their type. They don't create depth, and they don't mind flakiness themselves, so they don't understand why you wouldn't.
I would be happy if someone would come along and change my mind about ESTP's, but thus far, it hasn't happened.
I never said all ESTP's are alcoholics. Flaky - yes.
Every single ESTP in the world is flaky? You have met and encountered every single ESTP? Impressive. Perhaps its your attitude that causes them to be flaky.The flakiness and shallowness is documented if you go read.....that's just their type. They don't create depth, and they don't mind flakiness themselves, so they don't understand why you wouldn't.
I would be happy if someone would come along and change my mind about ESTP's, but thus far, it hasn't happened.
I never said all ESTP's are alcoholics. Flaky - yes.
Disagree. I call a spade a spade. Been there, seen it, know it. The salespeople at my bf's corporation are the exact same way. Flaky, shallow, (to me and my bf, untrustworthy) people. They will say anything to make a sale. Websites have documented it about your type.When people have axes to grind you can't be changed. You have a terrible amount of resentment built up due to your family and therefore seem to be projecting it on the rest of us. Sucks for you.
No resentment needed.
All the ones I have ever met have been flaky. I'm not claiming to know them all.Every single ESTP in the world is flaky? You have met and encountered every single ESTP? Impressive. Perhaps its your attitude that causes them to be flaky.
Go hang out with some salespeople sometime. Maybe you will learn a thing or two.
Everything that comes out of your fingers is invalidated. Websites? You are quoting personal experience not MBTI specialists.Disagree. I call a spade a spade. Been there, seen it, know it. The salespeople at my bf's corporation are the exact same way. Flaky, shallow, (to me and my bf, untrustworthy) people. They will say anything to make a sale. Websites have documented it about your type.
No resentment needed.
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