I was wondering if any of you have noticed any notable difference between us and them. If so, what are they?
I think along with the ENTP, the ESFP is probably the type most like us. They like to have fun and have the ability to make work fun. ISFJs for example have the ability to make fun work.
But the big difference is T versus F, and it is not just Fi versus Fe but Ti versus Te. What that means is the ESFP is going to put a lot more emphasis on group harmony and popular thought than an ESTP who is more concerned with being factually correct and knows that "group harmony" can be positive but also can be extremely destructive.
Because ESFPs are so accepting of others, they tend to see everyone as their friend even if the other people don't see it that way. With this and in a lot of other ways, ESTPs are more objective about who their friends are. And like a lot of feelers, the ESFP goes to the extremes with hatred with the few people that they don't like.
I noticed an ESFP nurse one time who was friendly to all her fellow nurses at first and then she would start picking up on their flaws. She married an ISTJ which was good because ISTJs probably cover up their own flaws better than any other type.
There was a thread a while back where INFPs bragged about being the best lovers of all and to me it was an extremely self-indulgent fantasy. If you are looking for fun and skill in the bedroom, it is hard to beat ESFPs. On the other hand, the ESFP isn't going to be terrible loyal and like us is going to be more motivated by reward than duty or loyalty. Doing something out of duty is even more foreign to the ESFP than to us.
At work, that means an ESTP is more likely to put his or her feelings to the side than an ESFP and buckle down and do what needs to be done even if they hate it. This isn't a good thing though. I have seen a lot of ESTPs devastated emotionally and tune out the world after the emotional damage of doing a job they hate.
The woman who wrote Eat, Pray, Love, Elizabeth Gilbert, is ESFP and is a classic example of what I am talking about. She marries a guy, takes a vow to be with him for life, and then flips out so much when it comes to having kids, she started having affairs (which wasn't covered in her book). Even though the book was a best seller, and I enjoyed it, if you go to the Amazon comment section, the author was personally skewered because of her life choices.
It kind of reminded me of a fellow ESTP Mark Cuban. People were so busy thumbing their nose at Cuban for being against the grain, few people seemed to notice that he won a championship. And for all his bitching about the referees, it was later found one of them (ha ha. only one?) was on the take.
The same was true of Elizabeth Gilbert. So many people were lining up to beat the shit out of her over her character flaws, few seemed to notice she wrote a good, insightful book that became a runaway best seller.
Things like this make us ESTPs and ESFPs ponder. Which is more important? Being productive or towing the company line? The Dallas Mavericks were the laughing stocks of the NBA before Cuban took over, and the previous owners, who put together terrible teams, got nowhere near the shit Cuban has.
It is because of ESFP productivity that I personally have learned to tolerate the negatives of ESFPs and ally myself with them. Unlike a lot of the other Fs, who think group harmony trumps performance, ESFPs can and do perform especially when the chips are down.