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I'm an INFP female, and in my experience, literally (and I mean literally) every single man I seem to attract is an ESTP. I have a big thing about letting anyone I interact with take the myers-briggs personality test so I can understand them. So the past 3 men who dated me and tried to pursue me were all ESTP's but nothing long-term came out of it because I was never "feeling it" with them.

But it's beyond attraction; these ESTP men were fascinated by my INFP personality for some really strange reason, but I never felt any emotional connection or desire for any ESTP's. I think it has a lot to do with the fact they are Thinkers, which I naturally do not feel comfortable around or open up to. And when i'm paired with another Perceiver, it's a clusterfuck! We are directionless and nothing happens or gets done.

Anyone here to validate my claim, or know why this could be (ESTP's drawn to INFP's)? Any ESTP or INFP find my experience similar to their experience?
 

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The Doer King
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I'm an INFP female, and in my experience, literally (and I mean literally) every single man I seem to attract is an ESTP. I have a big thing about letting anyone I interact with take the myers-briggs personality test so I can understand them. So the past 3 men who dated me and tried to pursue me were all ESTP's but nothing long-term came out of it because I was never "feeling it" with them.

But it's beyond attraction; these ESTP men were fascinated by my INFP personality for some really strange reason, but I never felt any emotional connection or desire for any ESTP's. I think it has a lot to do with the fact they are Thinkers, which I naturally do not feel comfortable around or open up to. And when i'm paired with another Perceiver, it's a clusterfuck! We are directionless and nothing happens or gets done.

Anyone here to validate my claim, or know why this could be (ESTP's drawn to INFP's)? Any ESTP or INFP find my experience similar to their experience?
I have mentioned this in numerous threads. I love INFP. The one I dated worked out well until it became a long distance relationship. Then it failed. While together though I was able to draw her out of her shell rather easily. I can see the perceiving problem. I like low perceivers personally or even judgers. I am borderline J so it works for me.
 

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I have 3 friends that are INFP, and I just love them. Theirs something whit your auras that calms me, it makes me relaxed and comfortable. You have lots of abstract ides and have what I call a cute naive way of looking at thing that may seem rather light or black (depending on who you are). The girl INFP hates me! I lived whit here under the house for 1 year; she is my best friend’s girlfriend.

I lived under the same house whit them and one more. Me and here are like a huge collision, small things make here mad in the head and she hates that I have a so easy way of thinking, and always can do things in a hurry without thinking about it. The worst thing is when we watch movie; if you ever have tried to watch a movie whit a ESTP and INFP you will see the collision. I ALLWAYS need to talk and laugh about things that I se there and then, and the INFP will watch the movie whit out saying a word and really live in the movie. When I talk and laugh it breaks their concentration and she gets mad.

After my experience whit INFP, i found that the ESTP is just to head on and hurt their feelings fast and often. But to answer your question from my side of view, it must be your ideas, aura and charm. And I found out that I just can’t dislike you :proud:
 

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Anyone here to validate my claim, or know why this could be (ESTP's drawn to INFP's)? Any ESTP or INFP find my experience similar to their experience?
Socionics has a model of intertype relations. ESTP and INFP form a duality pair = best psychological comfort (it doesnt say anything about attraction). Formally MBTI types and Socionic types are not the same but many times they are when you check the descriptions. Read more here:

Relations between Psychological ("personality") Types
 

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I'm an INFP female, and in my experience, literally (and I mean literally) every single man I seem to attract is an ESTP. I have a big thing about letting anyone I interact with take the myers-briggs personality test so I can understand them. So the past 3 men who dated me and tried to pursue me were all ESTP's but nothing long-term came out of it because I was never "feeling it" with them.

But it's beyond attraction; these ESTP men were fascinated by my INFP personality for some really strange reason, but I never felt any emotional connection or desire for any ESTP's. I think it has a lot to do with the fact they are Thinkers, which I naturally do not feel comfortable around or open up to. And when i'm paired with another Perceiver, it's a clusterfuck! We are directionless and nothing happens or gets done.

Anyone here to validate my claim, or know why this could be (ESTP's drawn to INFP's)? Any ESTP or INFP find my experience similar to their experience?
WTH?????

You can't be serious you consider people's personality types when you date? If reality tells you these are good relationships, then fucking go with REALITY.

First of all, there's a HUGE risk you mistype people, they could be another type than the test shows. I often test ENTP, but I'm no ENTP, I just happen to be smart and have intellectual interests, and then the stupid tests assume I must be intuitive. And second of all, there are theories saying that Myers-Briggs had it all wrong. What if you end up in a shitty relationship because the theory is flawed?

Stop being a fool. Date for fun and make your own theories. Good luck and enjoy life! :happy::tongue:
 

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WTH?????

You can't be serious you consider people's personality types when you date? If reality tells you these are good relationships, then fucking go with REALITY.

First of all, there's a HUGE risk you mistype people, they could be another type than the test shows. I often test ENTP, but I'm no ENTP, I just happen to be smart and have intellectual interests, and then the stupid tests assume I must be intuitive. And second of all, there are theories saying that Myers-Briggs had it all wrong. What if you end up in a shitty relationship because the theory is flawed?

Stop being a fool. Date for fun and make your own theories. Good luck and enjoy life! :happy::tongue:
This is going to sound snide, but... You obviously have no idea what it's like to be an introvert and value relationships so highly. Sometimes, MBTI typing is all us introverts have (to go by, that is)... So suck it!


I'm drawn to ESTPs (although I refuse to show that I am in real life), but I will never date one again. They just can't seem to stop wanting to interact with and receive attention from everyone, which I can't put up with! I have soooo much to offer my SO that it just hurts to feel like they don't give a **** and would rather dog themselves out to everyone else. (I hope all of you ESTPs are taking note, because if you can actually get an INFP, then the INFP will love you [hidden agenda] dearly, and you risk throwing it all away by neglecting them.)
 

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This is going to sound snide, but... You obviously have no idea what it's like to be an introvert and value relationships so highly. Sometimes, MBTI typing is all us introverts have (to go by, that is)... So suck it!


I'm drawn to ESTPs (although I refuse to show that I am in real life), but I will never date one again. They just can't seem to stop wanting to interact with and receive attention from everyone, which I can't put up with! I have soooo much to offer my SO that it just hurts to feel like they don't give a **** and would rather dog themselves out to everyone else. (I hope all of you ESTPs are taking note, because if you can actually get an INFP, then the INFP will love you [hidden agenda] dearly, and you risk throwing it all away by neglecting them.)
You are a lot more capable than you seem to think. Trust yourself and stop projecting evil on ESTPs. I've never cheated on anyone ever, and even if I love attention, I need someone who loves me the way you say : an introverted cliff. :laughing: Introverts have a stability where I feel weak. You might think ESTPs are all tough just because we look that way when we move around, but when it comes to feelings, I am TERRIFIED. That's where people like you are so much stronger. So why do YOU fear relationships?
 

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You are a lot more capable than you seem to think. Trust yourself and stop projecting evil on ESTPs. I've never cheated on anyone ever, and even if I love attention, I need someone who loves me the way you say : an introverted cliff. :laughing: Introverts have a stability where I feel weak. You might think ESTPs are all tough just because we look that way when we move around, but when it comes to feelings, I am TERRIFIED. That's where people like you are so much stronger. So why do YOU fear relationships?
I don't fear relationships as a whole. I fear relationships with ESTPs, which I thought I was clear on???

Can you imagine what it's like for an INFP to constantly daydream about her ESTP and then get thrown to the sidelines whenever there's a party or tailgating with the boys or a concert or anything? It's so impersonal and hurtful to be placed second to everyone else... I'm talking being second to total strangers! *barf*

Like I said, I will never date an ESTP again. I'd rather them always want me but never get me, because I wouldn't dare put my guard down again!


My last ESTP boyfriend spread rumors about me after we broke up, to get attention from me after-the-fact or god only knows what???, and those rumors only made me cut him off completely. Now (which is actually years later), he weighs 300lbs, and I feel as though it serves him right! So there... Now you know why I'm scorned when it comes to ESTPs... because they hurt me!

*sigh*
 

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I don't know about ESTPs. I've never had any known ESTPs attracted to me, except as one of many sexual possibilities that they were considering. This was because the individuals in question used a "proposition anything with a hole" method of getting laid. Mostly, ESTPs tend to consider me too easy to offend and don't feel like they can relax and be their crude, outspoken selves. Nobody wants to feel censored in a relationship, so I can't say I blame them. Also, they tend to place more value on physical qualities than I consider appropriate, and I wouldn't date anyone who cared about appearances, or who wanted sex before achieving psychological intimacy. I make that very clear to anyone who shows an interest.

If there have been any ESTPs attracted to me, they probably didn't make it through my screening process, and they probably thought I was too uptight to get serious about anyhow.
 

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If there have been any ESTPs attracted to me, they probably didn't make it through my screening process...
Right. That's what I meant by this part:
... if you can actually get an INFP...
Here's some duality info, i.e. "food for thought":

"Your Dual partner will love you just for what you are and if there is such a thing as true love then it could probably only occur in relations of Duality."

"However, nature has played a little trick on us. It is difficult to notice your Dual partner among all the other types and even easier to pass them by. Usually during first contact extroverts think about their introvert Dual as ordinary and simple, therefore not deserving their personal attention. In return introverts consider their extrovert Dual to be too good for them and therefore unattainable."

"The magnetic effect of Duality becomes obvious when partners do not see each other for a while. Only after being together for a fair amount of time do the partners start realising how much they need each other."
- Relations of Duality between psychological ("personality") types


I'm happy to have had a couple of duality relationships in my life, but I had to let a good bit of things go to keep it going, and whenever I stopped wanting that type of relationship, I was able to end it on my own terms... but not without A LOT of pain and heartache. :frustrating:
 

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I'm an INFJ, with an INFP mom so I can understand your viewpoint. I too seem to attract the ESTP type. Supposedly, as the ESTP anima I can make a very good match with them. I dated one for a while recently, however I found that we clash a bit too much because we see the world so differently. But after we broke up we became great friends. He's super supportive if a bit flightly and random. Not all ESTP's are going to be major jerkwads...just most of them can ACT like it once in a while. My ESTP friend is very loyal, and he makes it clear in his own weird ways that our friendship is valuable to him.

The most important thing is communication. I think ESTP's get frustrated with us IF types because we don't talk a whole lot about exactly what is going on - we just want them to KNOW (like we do). As long as you're up front and blunt with them things are cool.

I guess my point is that knowing a person's type is helpful...however never make your decision based on that single factor. It's always better to make a decision based on a few factors in any consequence. I would date an ESTP again, just not the one I broke up with :p
 

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I have 3 friends that are INFP, and I just love them. Theirs something whit your auras that calms me, it makes me relaxed and comfortable. You have lots of abstract ides and have what I call a cute naive way of looking at thing that may seem rather light or black (depending on who you are). The girl INFP hates me! I lived whit here under the house for 1 year; she is my best friend’s girlfriend.

I lived under the same house whit them and one more. Me and here are like a huge collision, small things make here mad in the head and she hates that I have a so easy way of thinking, and always can do things in a hurry without thinking about it. The worst thing is when we watch movie; if you ever have tried to watch a movie whit a ESTP and INFP you will see the collision. I ALLWAYS need to talk and laugh about things that I se there and then, and the INFP will watch the movie whit out saying a word and really live in the movie. When I talk and laugh it breaks their concentration and she gets mad.

After my experience whit INFP, i found that the ESTP is just to head on and hurt their feelings fast and often. But to answer your question from my side of view, it must be your ideas, aura and charm. And I found out that I just can’t dislike you :proud:
Yep, I can definitely agree with you here. Not that I recall running into any INFPs I can identify as such, but I can see how everything you say would take place since that's how we tend to act (doing things quickly, being blunt, talking during movies :wink:).

You are a lot more capable than you seem to think. Trust yourself and stop projecting evil on ESTPs. I've never cheated on anyone ever, and even if I love attention, I need someone who loves me the way you say : an introverted cliff. :laughing: Introverts have a stability where I feel weak. You might think ESTPs are all tough just because we look that way when we move around, but when it comes to feelings, I am TERRIFIED. That's where people like you are so much stronger. So why do YOU fear relationships?
Hm, yes. I tend to invest emotions pretty fast and when I realize it's a sinking ship, it's a bitch to back right out of it again. I hate mixed signals and trying to sort my emotions out in the aftermath, so I tend to watch them pretty carefully before I make a concerted effort to seal the deal.
 

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WTH?????

You can't be serious you consider people's personality types when you date? If reality tells you these are good relationships, then fucking go with REALITY.

First of all, there's a HUGE risk you mistype people, they could be another type than the test shows. I often test ENTP, but I'm no ENTP, I just happen to be smart and have intellectual interests, and then the stupid tests assume I must be intuitive. And second of all, there are theories saying that Myers-Briggs had it all wrong. What if you end up in a shitty relationship because the theory is flawed?

Stop being a fool. Date for fun and make your own theories. Good luck and enjoy life! :happy::tongue:
Ha, wow - you are definitely an ESTP... because the ESTPs I know in real life I could see saying that and then pissing me off!!
 

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One of the older ESTP's I know - German guy (very hardworking/outgoing, has his own liqour business, very funny/entertaining, coaches his kids soccer, is very athletic/fit, sings/plays in a band, cooks most the time, goes camping with his kids often etc.) married and divorced an INFP (she was very lazy and didn't work, do the housework or take care of the kids well - had to hire a nanny even though she was home all day), then got married again to another INFP that is 15 years younger and is still with her - they don't seem like a great fit to me as they are opposites in many regards (the only thing they really have in common seems to be their love of music) but they're still together.
 

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I have 3 friends that are INFP, and I just love them. Theirs something whit your auras that calms me, it makes me relaxed and comfortable. You have lots of abstract ides and have what I call a cute naive way of looking at thing that may seem rather light or black (depending on who you are). The girl INFP hates me! I lived whit here under the house for 1 year; she is my best friend’s girlfriend.

I lived under the same house whit them and one more. Me and here are like a huge collision, small things make here mad in the head and she hates that I have a so easy way of thinking, and always can do things in a hurry without thinking about it. The worst thing is when we watch movie; if you ever have tried to watch a movie whit a ESTP and INFP you will see the collision. I ALLWAYS need to talk and laugh about things that I se there and then, and the INFP will watch the movie whit out saying a word and really live in the movie. When I talk and laugh it breaks their concentration and she gets mad.

After my experience whit INFP, i found that the ESTP is just to head on and hurt their feelings fast and often. But to answer your question from my side of view, it must be your ideas, aura and charm. And I found out that I just can’t dislike you :proud:
Hahah, thank you, I'm now sure my sister is an ESTP :crazy:
 

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I have 3 friends that are INFP, and I just love them. Theirs something whit your auras that calms me, it makes me relaxed and comfortable. You have lots of abstract ides and have what I call a cute naive way of looking at thing that may seem rather light or black (depending on who you are). The girl INFP hates me! I lived whit here under the house for 1 year; she is my best friend’s girlfriend.

I lived under the same house whit them and one more. Me and here are like a huge collision, small things make here mad in the head and she hates that I have a so easy way of thinking, and always can do things in a hurry without thinking about it. The worst thing is when we watch movie; if you ever have tried to watch a movie whit a ESTP and INFP you will see the collision. I ALLWAYS need to talk and laugh about things that I se there and then, and the INFP will watch the movie whit out saying a word and really live in the movie. When I talk and laugh it breaks their concentration and she gets mad.

After my experience whit INFP, i found that the ESTP is just to head on and hurt their feelings fast and often. But to answer your question from my side of view, it must be your ideas, aura and charm. And I found out that I just can’t dislike you :proud:
hahaha I watch movies with estps all the time. There are two in my metal band....

myspace.com/beyondtheshore


you will prolly like it ... most estps tend to like our music.
 
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