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Discussion Starter #1
So my entp father is terminally ill with cancer and he's throwing himself a funeral( he's a famous philosopher/historian and was a philophy professor in Viet Nam, so a lot of his followers and fans will be there )
He asked me to write eulogy . I guess my question pertains to whether I should write a funny one or a more serious heart felt one ( since I'll be speaking in front of hundreds of people who are more than twice my age - some may triple - my father is 78)

How would you want your Eulogy to be like?


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So my entp father is terminally ill with cancer and he's throwing himself a funeral( he's a famous philosopher/historian and was a philophy professor in Viet Nam, so a lot of his followers and fans will be there )
He asked me to write eulogy . I guess my question pertains to whether I should write a funny one or a more serious heart felt one ( since I'll be speaking in front of hundreds of people who are more than twice my age - some may triple - my father is 78)

How would you want your Eulogy to be like?

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i would expect it couldn't help but be both, since you probably have funny, fun memories that are dear to your heart

sorry to hear he's ill. Sounds like he's an awesome guy. Do you have any clips of him giving a lecture or anything like that, which you wouldn't mind sharing?
 

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So my entp father is terminally ill with cancer and he's throwing himself a funeral( he's a famous philosopher/historian and was a philophy professor in Viet Nam, so a lot of his followers and fans will be there )
He asked me to write eulogy . I guess my question pertains to whether I should write a funny one or a more serious heart felt one ( since I'll be speaking in front of hundreds of people who are more than twice my age - some may triple - my father is 78)

How would you want your Eulogy to be like?


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I probably would want a mixture of both (typical ENTP going with the middle option instead of black or white/yes or no). Actually though, you know your dad best. If he is the type of guy that would make light of a situation, I would definitely lean more funny. If he tended to be more serious, lean more heartfelt. If your dad is still pretty with it, I would just ask him. Most ENTPs like a straight question.
 
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Something that captures his essence, and I bet nobody can do that better than you. Selecting you to write the eulogy shows how much he loves you. He will be very pleased with whatever you write. Delivering a eulogy is very hard, is public display of emotion considered OK in Viet Nam?
 

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BTW, I'm sorry for having to deal with this. A terminal illness is both a blessing and a curse as a way to die. The family and the person dying has a lot of time to resolve issues and tell each other how they feel about each other but it is long and drawn out and a horrible experience for both the individual and the friends/family. My grandma, who very irritatingly died of cancer at 91 (she was ready for death and hoping for a heart attack in her sleep over cancer-She was very active until that point so being bed ridden was hard), said the good thing about a slower death is that she didn't leave everyone with having to go through and deal with all her stuff and she got to hear directly to her face the nice things that people say to the loved ones at wakes.
 
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Discussion Starter #6
i would expect it couldn't help but be both, since you probably have funny, fun memories that are dear to your heart

sorry to hear he's ill. Sounds like he's an awesome guy. Do you have any clips of him giving a lecture or anything like that, which you wouldn't mind sharing?
I have clips of him at his book signing and my wedding tea ceremony it's all in Vietnamese though

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I probably would want a mixture of both (typical ENTP going with the middle option instead of black or white/yes or no). Actually though, you know your dad best. If he is the type of guy that would make light of a situation, I would definitely lean more funny. If he tended to be more serious, lean more heartfelt. If your dad is still pretty with it, I would just ask him. Most ENTPs like a straight question.
Well he's going to be awake during his funeral lol . He told me to say whatever i feel most comfortable with- I understand him well, but his friends and colleagues not as well . I guess humor would be more fun for it capture his personality more

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Discussion Starter #8
Something that captures his essence, and I bet nobody can do that better than you. Selecting you to write the eulogy shows how much he loves you. He will be very pleased with whatever you write. Delivering a eulogy is very hard, is public display of emotion considered OK in Viet Nam?
I have no idea- I was born and raised in California, and my family is quite liberal compared to most family ( I have a lot of Vietnamese friends) . I'm quite calm- I think that's why he chose me, I know he'll be happy with whatever I say and in the end it's him I'm talking directly to- it's just we share a crude sense of humor and im unsure if it's appropriate to share with his friends and colleagues . He told me to surprise him at:)
Yeah I'm very close with him- he inspire my imaginations and thought process more than anyone I know

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BTW, I'm sorry for having to deal with this. A terminal illness is both a blessing and a curse as a way to die. The family and the person dying has a lot of time to resolve issues and tell each other how they feel about each other but it is long and drawn out and a horrible experience for both the individual and the friends/family. My grandma, who very irritatingly died of cancer at 91 (she was ready for death and hoping for a heart attack in her sleep over cancer-She was very active until that point so being bed ridden was hard), said the good thing about a slower death is that she didn't leave everyone with having to go through and deal with all her stuff and she got to hear directly to her face the nice things that people say to the loved ones at wakes.
I'm sorry to hear about your grandmother- my intp grandma is 100 and she's been complaining about living for too long for as long as I can remember.

my father is dying of lung cancer ( he smokes like a chimney ) so haha - he can't quit smoking but he's not ready to let go yet- I think that's the sad part for our family to watch- he lived a great life and inspired many though:)

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Well he's going to be awake during his funeral lol . He told me to say whatever i feel most comfortable with- I understand him well, but his friends and colleagues not as well . I guess humor would be more fun for it capture his personality more

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He'll be awake during his funeral?! Tell him he can have himself cloned and come back for more (like Schwarzenegger ,”I'll be back”).
 

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He'll be awake during his funeral?! Tell him he can have himself cloned and come back for more (like Schwarzenegger ,”I'll be back”).
Hahaha yeah he's throwing himself one- say he wants to see how people will react and he selected bunches of us to present to him . He literally told me " I want to see what really happen at my funeral- see who will show up."
I joked that if he dies then it would be his real funeral. My father although fragile- still has a great sense of humor :)


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Hahaha yeah he's throwing himself one- say he wants to see how people will react and he selected bunches of us to present to him . He literally told me " I want to see what really happen at my funeral- see who will show up."
I joked that if he dies then it would be his real funeral. My father although fragile- still has a great sense of humor :)


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Sounds like my kind of ENTP.

BTW,
most countries don't allow human cloning (yet), but some do, or he may not mind waiting in the freezer for a while.
 

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What I want is a "Speaker for the Dead", like Ender was in the second book in that series. They speak the truth of a person, good & bad. Explains how they became the person they were, making no excuses. It's an (almost?) impossible task for a loved one because you can only see him through your filters.

We all engage society through facades. When I die I want them all lifted and hopefully, finally, be understood.
 

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@ai.tran.75 from what little I can glean from what you've said I think I have a tad bit of advice for you since I've done this, sadly more than once. Fortunately or unfortunately they weren't there to hear me speak so the audience was friends and family which I imagine is probably easier to write for.

My first thought was a three step approach:

1) Funny shared story from your childhood; 2) Bust his balls for some dumb thing he did to or around either the family or friends or both; 3) Full love. Just tell him how much you love him.

The mini roast in the middle I think is key though. You're simultaneously the luckiest and most unlucky person. I wish you the best.
 
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