Funny you should say that... I came to the '4w5' conclusion after realising that nothing describes me under stress than these parapgraphs -
Level 5: To stay in touch with feelings, they interiorize everything, taking everything personally, but become self-absorbed and introverted, moody and hypersensitive, shy and self-conscious, unable to be spontaneous or to "get out of themselves." Stay withdrawn to protect their self-image and to buy time to sort out feelings.
[this was me around feb. last year]
Level 6: Gradually think that they are different from others, and feel that they are exempt from living as everyone else does. They become melancholy dreamers, disdainful, decadent, and sensual, living in a fantasy world. Self-pity and envy of others leads to self-indulgence, and to becoming increasingly impractical, unproductive, effete, and precious.
[this was kind of me around march last year]
Level 7: When dreams fail, become self-inhibiting and angry at self, depressed and alienated from self and others, blocked and emotionally paralyzed. Ashamed of self, fatigued and unable to function.
[exactly me during pretty much all of May last year]
Level 8: Tormented by delusional self-contempt, self-reproaches, self-hatred, and morbid thoughts: everything is a source of torment. Blaming others, they drive away anyone who tries to help them.
[me at the end of my whole 'lets be self-destructive' stint. Those were very dark days indeed]
I think I dipped my toe in the 'level 9' pool by uptaking several very self-destructive habits over that time...
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Sometimes however, for all the to-ing and fro-ing people on here do with enneagram, I think we're all just better picking numbers out of a hat: Stop trying to find the 'perfect' fit, after all, it's not like your enneargram type is supposed to be your dream wedding dress or whatever :/ I do actually like enneagram as, if you can find a good, non-bias description, they are pretty encompassing of every type. Too many people only want to look at the types which they think best associate with their MBTI rather than themselves as a person (why so many of the ISTPs here initially went down the 5wx route, myself included). And that's not helped when you find a description online which assumes that every member of one type has to be a XXXX :/
Personally, I don't associate at all with the more feelings-associated traits of type four. Then I realised someting: I'm an IS
TP, I'm not supposed to. Sometimes you can only find the best fit when you learn to factor in other things from your life,
including external aspects of your personality which might not fit. And if you really have to overthink it... then no, it probably isn't as good of a match as you're trying to convince yourself it is.
...
Aaaaand now to get off of my high horse.
That's better.