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Ever feel like going on a random 'destroy everything' rampage?

[ENFJ] 
7K views 29 replies 12 participants last post by  jungify 
Good point :) It didn't occur to me at the time I made the post and then for the other thread I looked up the 2 and saw that they disintegrate to the 8.

I wonder if a disintegrated 2 would be more inclined to destroy things ... or destroy people and relationships.

Scary thought ... for me any ways. It's one of the aspects that I find hard relating to. Wonder if I should ask the 2's but dunno if they'll inclined to answer it. Image focus means repressing such thoughts. As an 8 in my tritype, I know I have a tendency to wear my bad-assery on my sleeve at times .... wonder if 2's can disintegrate to that point.
I'm not sure disintegration only occurs under profound stress. I wonder if it also occurs under more minute circumstances. I also think that rage in itself isn't only limited to specific types. Maybe the frequency and intensity of the rage.....but I don't think anyone is exempt from those kinds of emotions.

I've wanted to destroy things in rage, and I've even thought about manipulating situations to emotionally wound other people. In times of great insecurity, frustration and bitterness I think most people have experienced wanting to hurt someone the way that they have been hurt, just as people wish to be loved in the way that they have loved.

I can imagine why you would be annoyed by someone who acted as though they were entitled to your help, but enraged? I can't relate to that as much. I can, however, say that I get enraged at inanimate objects that aren't functioning to my liking. :]
 
I'm glad we're having this discussion :) I managed to experience the full plathora of emotions I have in my arsenal in less than a few days today - and while continuing to focus on the tasks at hand, I kept my "record behaviour and inherent urge" sensors on active throughout the day.

My real rage started when we were in a group discussion project and a group of 7 kept deferring to me for things like speaking up in front of the class by calling me the "Team Leader" when no such role was assigned. Expecting me to take the notes, as well write the answers on the board - and then give the presentation as well. It was a complete repeat of my previous university and job projects. It's just always assumed that I'm the organizer, the leader of the group. Why? Just because I was the one establishing the controls and giving direction to the discussion itself?

And when I deferred to one of the members in my group to speak up in order to give everyone a fair chance to speak, he just turned around and said "you've get better language skills, you speak." There was almost a hint of contempt in his voice. My internal reaction was probably immature because I have been under a great deal of stress lately.

This filtered over to this helpless lady who's made it a habit to sit right next to me in the computer lab. I was tempted to just get up and find a different computer by the end today. I kept doing her work and that interfered with mine. I'm very altruistic, but when someone's work effects the quality of my work ---- I see red.

The way I help is realistic and based on long term assistance - not with petty things like formatting resumes o.0 That's something a person with supposedly 10 years of professional work experience should be able to do on her own.

The way I help is by suggesting that the 20 of us add each other on Facebook, create a group and post relevant job-related resources and postings for each other. I don't want to control anyone by forcing them to join ... but everyone noticed that doing our job search we were finding postings relevant to each other. So ... someone came up with the idea of taking everyone's emails .. and I made it easier by suggesting that we create a London Job Seekers club on Facebook. That way, I can get to help everyone in the background ---- at my own convenience <--- Which is sometimes important to me. And that need for space, I believe, is universal.

I can help people, and I like helping people --- but not when it's causing me to suffer in my own job o.0

That's where I stop relating to the 2. I think 2's like others to depend on them a lot more than I do. They're motivated by feeling needed. I relate to a certain degree, but not a whole lot. I'm really motivated by how I will be perceived in the end, while continuing to strive for what I feel would make me successful.

Helping people and being unconditional about it is a goal for me ... it's not a core need. That said, my goals, and ideals keep changing around. It's hard for me to remain true to a particular way of thinking but I have a very core inner compass that I keep focused on. But as you know ... I've had the problem of burying myself underneath too many different masks without every really being able to allow my true personality to manifest itself. I think others can probably see me as me, better than I can see myself.
I think the two descriptions are rather bleak to be honest. There is something about the way the descriptions portray the two that bring to mind individuals that I find myself not wanting to associate with. However, remember that the two integrates at 4, which is interested in the self, and pure self-expression. I'm not sure I completely understand it myself, but I think it's also important to note that the two ENFJ is different than the two of other types, you're still an ENFJ at the end of it. Twos can learn to say no and not be so people dependent.
 
I'm posting this from the official EI site:



This does answer a lot of questions right there.

I've been thinking about integration and disintegration heavily lately. It was the deciding factor [not the only one] in my realization of 3 being my Core Type. Why? Well, when I typed myself as a 6, I was immediately removed from my emotionally abusive relationship and everyone around me could not stop commenting on how happy I looked. I felt myself growing and blossoming. Even though I had the emotions, I was indulging in 2 activities. Repression of my emotions for the real world - i.e. Continuing to function better than I had been before. I had a great job. I was growing in my career. I was making sales by the dozen. The top performer at my company etc etc. But at the same time, the reason I was able to do that was because I had PerC to come back to to release the negative energy. I just let it all out. I explored my emotions. But what I found the most out of PerC was validation, acceptance. Praise. Ultimately, it was praise in the end. Allowed me to feel proud of whatever little I was accomplishing through the expression of my thoughts and ideas. I was love starved for 8 years - and I was getting it again. I read somewhere that 3's being image-centre also have "love" as an underlying need, but I think it was more something like "love and being loved for all doings the 3 partakes in".

Also, when I migrated to Canada ... I started going through severe depression. I had just moved a country. I was pretty much catatonic, I had experienced numbing. I was avoiding people and exhibiting all sorts of sloth-like behaviour. I was avoiding conflicts and thinking that by doing so, I was achieving some sort of inner peace. And yet, even in those times, the thing that separated me from the 9's was 'energy'. Under-lying the suicidal thoughts was always this desire to overcome it and succeed and triumph over adversity and my inner demons - which I managed to do through self-praise, self-love and the praise and love of others. I managed to start growing ... and really blossomed as soon as I had my first job interview. I knew that I wasn't a 9, or a 4 by that point. One of the core aspects of a 4 that I totally don't relate to is shame and envy. Even though I tried to, and forced myself to lie to myself and others that I do feel envy, but I didn't. I was always able to overcome it by finding some way to consider myself better than the person I envied. If someone is better than me in some things, it's ok .. I'm better at them in other things. Competitiveness.

All in all. I think I closed the chapter of my core type with that :p I'm still open to considering 2 as a wing. But I'm not sure. I'm much more introspective than 3w2's are said to be. I definitely have a lot more introverted tendencies - where I like to sit back and plan my goals and dreams. I like to stay committed to my friends and goals [which revolve around people, but primary to succeed in the relationship, or be seen as good, or great - 6w7] - and perhaps it's that commitment and loyalty aspect of the 6w7 combined with FeNi that could explain why I seem a lot more like a 2.

It's not that I don't want to accept that I'm a 2, but it's just that I don't see all of 2-ish motivations --- definitely not as much as I see 3 and 4.
Interesting. Yeah, I always had trouble relating to the 2w1 completely, but I'm thinking perhaps it has been misrepresented. I've heard that 6w7 can have a strong tie to a 3 under certain fixes. I've actually been thinking about my type as well, and I'm almost ready to revert back to my original type.....though not officially yet. :]

2w1 1w9 6w7 or 5 or 2w1 6w7 1w9

I actually wish I were a 2w3 or a 3w2.
 
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Funny you should say that... I came to the '4w5' conclusion after realising that nothing describes me under stress than these parapgraphs -

Level 5: To stay in touch with feelings, they interiorize everything, taking everything personally, but become self-absorbed and introverted, moody and hypersensitive, shy and self-conscious, unable to be spontaneous or to "get out of themselves." Stay withdrawn to protect their self-image and to buy time to sort out feelings. [this was me around feb. last year]

Level 6: Gradually think that they are different from others, and feel that they are exempt from living as everyone else does. They become melancholy dreamers, disdainful, decadent, and sensual, living in a fantasy world. Self-pity and envy of others leads to self-indulgence, and to becoming increasingly impractical, unproductive, effete, and precious. [this was kind of me around march last year]

Level 7: When dreams fail, become self-inhibiting and angry at self, depressed and alienated from self and others, blocked and emotionally paralyzed. Ashamed of self, fatigued and unable to function. [exactly me during pretty much all of May last year]

Level 8: Tormented by delusional self-contempt, self-reproaches, self-hatred, and morbid thoughts: everything is a source of torment. Blaming others, they drive away anyone who tries to help them. [me at the end of my whole 'lets be self-destructive' stint. Those were very dark days indeed]

I think I dipped my toe in the 'level 9' pool by uptaking several very self-destructive habits over that time...

---

Sometimes however, for all the to-ing and fro-ing people on here do with enneagram, I think we're all just better picking numbers out of a hat: Stop trying to find the 'perfect' fit, after all, it's not like your enneargram type is supposed to be your dream wedding dress or whatever :/ I do actually like enneagram as, if you can find a good, non-bias description, they are pretty encompassing of every type. Too many people only want to look at the types which they think best associate with their MBTI rather than themselves as a person (why so many of the ISTPs here initially went down the 5wx route, myself included). And that's not helped when you find a description online which assumes that every member of one type has to be a XXXX :/

Personally, I don't associate at all with the more feelings-associated traits of type four. Then I realised someting: I'm an ISTP, I'm not supposed to. Sometimes you can only find the best fit when you learn to factor in other things from your life, including external aspects of your personality which might not fit. And if you really have to overthink it... then no, it probably isn't as good of a match as you're trying to convince yourself it is.

...



Aaaaand now to get off of my high horse.



That's better.
I agree with you. I used to be pretty satisfied with my type, but for some reason I think that I'm sort of on an obsessive identity hunt, and it sort of resurfaces every time I'm stressed or upset. It's about identity.....as if I had some sort of concrete explanation for why I am the way I am I could start figuring things out. Then I realize that it doesn't really matter, and then I once again feel a desire to recreate my identity, to give it a sense of purpose.

That being said, I hate changing my type officially, but sometimes I sort of obsess about it in order to avoid thinking about other things.
 
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