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First of all, is it possible to have 8 and 6 in a tritype? Second of all, looking for some thoughts on separating whether I'm a very unhealthy counter-phobic 6, or a very unhealthy 8.

Some points, that could be of interest, or, at the very least, explain my confusion.

- I'm a catastrophic thinker (trademark 6, no?). I assume the worst, always, and automatically. However, this only occurs in my relationships with others, and it's a point of protection from being hurt by others. If I assume the worst, I'm invulnerable, or as close as I can be.

- I have a mind like a steel trap for any and every slight ever committed against me. My memory is normally shit, but I very, very rarely forgive, but I never forget, when someone has betrayed me or attempted to hurt me, criticize me, manipulate me, use me, abuse me, or tear me down.

- I'm excessively paranoid of people. Seriously, I'm always, always on guard, and I keep a very, very close watch on anyone who forms any kind of a relationship with me, looking out for lies, any signs of attack, any sign, that they'd talk about me behind my back, be manipulative, be a user, etc.

- I have a set and automatic routine, when interacting with people one-on-one, to attempt to get them to share their deepest personal information, so I have a weapon if they cross me, and so I know what they're capable of, if push comes to shove, between us.

- Even when I'm just out in public, I perceive the slightest looks and glances from other males as a challenge. I feel like they're trying to stare me down, back me down, challenge me for power and control over me.

- Despite having urges to belong, with others, I end up being mostly a loner, because needing other people is weak. I can't shake that belief.

- What I like, is what I like. Most things I like, other people around me can't stand, from music to food.

- As far as my anxieties/fears in life go, I fear nothing more than vulnerability. Doing anything, that makes me feel the least bit vulnerable, results in a physical reaction in me. It makes me shaky, sweaty, and nauseated. I literally feel like I'm going to puke and pass out. At the same time, if you were to react in the slightest bit "wrong" to it, I'd instantly take your head off.

- Despite the fact it can become overwhelming and annoying, I feel at my best, when others rely on me, when I'm their "rock". This is also despite the fact, there's some underlying resentment for them, for being weak people, by needing me or anyone else.

- I still have a strong draw to the rejected, the outcast, the unloved, the forgotten, the under dogs in life. I protect them, to guard the way I feel underneath; to save them from the pain, hurt, heartache, disappointment, emotionally isolated loneliness, and sense of rejection, that I've long buried, under piles and piles of hatred, anger, and resentment.

- Pretty sure my dad is a somewhat unhealthy 8. He barks loud and he cuts you down, and the only emotion I saw him express, until he got very old, was anger. He was my role model for masculinity. The only emotion I let anyone see is anger. I don't like his tactic of barking loudest, though. I'd rather bite.

- Sixes are said to cave, when push comes to shove. I wonder if this encounter isn't perhaps illustrative of an unhealthy 6 vs. an unhealthy 8. I had a female friend, and her lover was known for his temper, like me. He'd been to anger management, in and out of trouble with the law, fucked people's lives up, etc. I'm big on protecting the people I love, so I went after him. He barked, I barked; I told him I was going to shoot him in the knee caps, douse him in gasoline, and roast marshmallows over his body, while I sang Kumbabya to drown out his screams, he told me he was going to cut my throat with a straight razor. We took it further, I showed up to fight, he came up with excuses not to show. He bit by continuing after my friend, I bit harder by devastating what he cherished the most. In the end, he called me up crying, begging me to stop, and bowed to my every demand, to stop.

- My anger/rage issues are so bad, the list of felonies I've committed, in a rage, include; assault and battery, assault and battery with a deadly weapon, holding someone against their will, and attempted homicide. Why I've never been turned in, beats the hell out of me. Probably because I hang around mostly other criminals, who, like me, have managed to escape ever being caught.

- Overindulgence has always been a big issue for me, as well, especially when stressed. Drinking to the point of alcohol poisoning. Eating until I puke. Smoking until I puke. Taking pills, until I pass out for a couple of days. Smoking pot, despite knowing it triggers nasty panic attacks/psychotic episodes in me. Unprotected sex, with any woman willing to have sex with me. Ruining my credit, and overdrafting my bank account, until I had people suing me.
 

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I know someone who you let your guard down for, who sees the soft side in you...
 

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hoooolay shit...

Listen, it looks like you're so far beyond just an unhealthy enneagram type, that you are untypable right now. Forget about enneagram altogether and seek professional help. I don't mean that in a snarky bitch way, I actually mean it.
 

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No, I am not competitive at all... just elated at the possibility. No one else compares.
 

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hoooolay shit...

Listen, it looks like you're so far beyond just an unhealthy enneagram type, that you are untypable right now. Forget about enneagram altogether and seek professional help. I don't mean that in a snarky bitch way, I actually mean it.
I am elated at the possibility, but I have told you... I will wait forever.
 

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Wow, you want to box? That was fast...
 

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I assure you, I am capable of a boxing match... not with my hands, but with words- you don't draw that out in me, what you draw out is this "I once had dream that you where here with me standing by my side saying those three words that meant everything to me. I know that dream will come true, and until that day I am waiting here for you."
 

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Unhealthy 8
 

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- I'm a catastrophic thinker (trademark 6, no?). I assume the worst, always, and automatically. However, this only occurs in my relationships with others, and it's a point of protection from being hurt by others. If I assume the worst, I'm invulnerable, or as close as I can be.
This makes me think more 6 than 8, although CP6 and unhealthy 8 can be very similar.

Also, what dagny said.
 
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