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Oh, INTJ interaction. How I adore it so.

INTJ reflecting on his birthday: Nineteen years ago my mother was in a lot of pain. Yay.

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INTJ: *After a long run* My dolphins are swimming.

ENTJ: Dolphins?

INTJ: That's what I call my endorphins.

ENTJ: That's actually really cute!

INTJ: Okay, never saying that again...

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INFJ: *about to do something stupid*

INTJ: If you die, I will kill you.

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INTJ: I love Google. If I could marry Google....I wouldn't. But, you know.

To be continued
 

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ISTP dad's theory on the evolution of wagtail birds

When I did a year abroad in England (before moving here permanently), I noticed that the wagtails here are much fatter than those in Germany. I mentioned this in a mail to my ISTP dad, and he came up with the following explanations:

Wagtails part I

Your wagtails are actually quite normal, except that they can be double as fat and ball-shaped in England. That's because of static friction, so they can stick to the ground better.
The skinny ones get blown to Norway by storms. Old Darwin already described this in his Origin of Species.
Bye

Wagtails Part II

What I wrote about the wagtails last time isn't gibberish at all! Darwin found Californian finches on Hawaii that must have been blown all the way across the Pacific by storms.
They can't possibly fly or swim that far and they can't row their boats that far either. These finches were all skinny and light as a feather because they were vegetarians.
The finches that live in California all eat big macs and double whoppers and are fat like pigs. That's why California is breaking up along the San Andreas fault and drifting into the Pacific and this way even the fat finches will reach Hawaii in the end.
You live and learn. Tonight mum will call you with more news.

Wagtails Part III

[about a picture of a 'pied wagtail' [species] from a 19th century book]
Here you can see how evolution reacts to the environment. The picture is from a book published in 1891. Since then, climate has changed and the pied wagtail has become even more pied. Incidentally, there are two subspecies of the pied wagtail: apple pied and kidney pied, depending on what they eat. Of the latter kind there is also the subspecies "with gravy". This species is able to warp space.
The feather-weight Darwin finches live on Galapagos, not Hawaii, by the way. But apart from that, everything I said was correct.
 

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ISTP dad's tropical diseases warning

Part I
The Institute for Tropical Diseases at the University of Rostock has issued a travel warning against England. There is a mumps epidemic in England. Especially exchange pupils and students are at risk.
Apparently, the virus requires a host of a certain minimum IQ because only foreign students are at risk. English people have not been warned against staying in England.
What does this tell us?
It was the Institute for Tropical Diseases that issued this warning, i.e. England is situated in the tropics. Only in England do you get hurricanes, typhoons and cyclones. This takes us to the evolution of the flat-footed ball-shaped wagtail.
Here it's so freezing cold today that your mother has gone and wolfed down what was left of the Rothenburger Presssack and liverwurst. This way she'll get puffy cheeks even without mumps.


Part II
This [mumps warning part I] shows you how long it can take for a publicly funded Institute for the Epidemiology of the Siberian Reindeer Crab Louse to
make the transition to a new area of research. They gave mumps a try for a start and this is the result. I'm eager to see what they'll try their medical hand at next time, maybe encephalitis in homo primus americanensis and its contagiousness for Tony of England. That would finally be a genetic deficiency that is passed from the grandson to the grandfather.
If I was an English wagtail, I'd consist of a lot of feathers and no fat and feet. Perhaps the poor creatures are only so fat because they have head-to-toe mumps (Parototis epidemica totalis corporis). This in turn, would testify to their intelligence [cf. Mumps warning part I].
Why do you only have a cold (not mumps), by the way?
 

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ISTP dad: Unfortunately, the mammoth is extinct

When there was half an inch of snow in Germany and I had just emailed him to ask for money to go on a field trip with uni.

The end is nigh for us. It's been snowing non-stop for six hours. The first ice fronts [literally: glacier tongues, the German term] are licking at the layered rocks of Schwanberg [a hill/mountain/rock thingy where my parents live]: "lap, smack, slurp". We haven't been able to see Great Zabelstein [another mountain/hill] since sun-down. Must have been swallowed by the ice.

Unfortunately, there are no mammoth anymore. They could eat the cress in the garden. We have no use for it any more. Your mother dug out the lettuce from the snow with her bare hands today, while I fought my way home in the car through 1.2 cm [0.5 inch] high snow-drifts. An hour ago I just about managed to prevent your mother from gobbling up the last two horse-radish sausages. Who knows how long they will have to last?

Against this background, the 1,400 Eurones [his word for Euros] for your trip to Mongolia pale by comparision. I have other things to worry about. Will the newspaper man be able to make his way through the snow tomorrow? Will the mother secretly gobble up the sausage while I'm at work? What to do about the mammoth if one should drop by after all? Feed it the cress or eat it for breakfast?

What also fills me with sorrow is that you will be expected to eat nothing but little lambs in Mongolia. [I was a vegetarian back then]. Can you do this or will you starve? If you can't do it, ask the prof how much a single flight is. You could always get back in a parcel. In the arid mountain air, starved people dry up and mummify quickly. That makes the return flight cheap.

On this note, have a safe jorney!
 

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Me: I swear I'm over her, I'm done. Completely 100% done!
INFP friend: Are you trying to convince me, or yourself? Because I feel like you're trying to convince yourself.
Me: No I'm trying to convince you. She took my feelings, said "hey these look nice!" and then proceeded to drop them into a wood chipper.
INFP: Wood chippers are cool. They are good for the environment.
Me: *sarcastically* Well there's a consolation. At least she was being environmentally friendly while shredding my feelings.
 

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Me: Every time I come up with a new idea, you point out everything wrong with it and shoot it down. It's like my ideas are little birds. I give birth to them, and toss them into the air. "Fly, fly free little birdies!" And you're like a hunter/sniper just mercilessly shooting them down one by one.
INFP friend: ... You give birth to birds?
Me: Yeah, I guess they'd have to be delivered via c-section.
INFP friend: Okay, but how are they conceived?
Me: ummm....
 
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Me: DW, what are you doing?
DW: I'm so excited about my new shoes. I'm posting a pic of them to Facebook for my friends to see.
Me: Why would they want to look at that? Your life is really not very interesting.
DW: silence

This is a regular occurrence in our conversations, unfortunately......
 

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i'm not getting along very well with others in this new job. conversation with self in the latter half of the day:

5:46 . . . it's too bad adult life is so different from kid life.
5:52 . . . guess you really do go through life taking it for granted that you'll be liked
5:57 . . . it's almost like you should be able to take out an injunction against anybody who fails to like you.
6:17 . . . brief snapshot review of own long dislike-list.
6:18 . . . nah. it's worth it.
 

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Me: I got my essay topic approved.
Friend: What is it?
Me: Basically, I'm going to convince my lecturer that robots in Japan should be classified as people.
 

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Various excerpts/quotes from my INTJ boyfriend:

"You have a perfectly functional vagina."
"Actually that isn't hyperbole, it's cant." (Then he tried to explain the difference to the two retail employees.)
"The human body is a machine and can be made to work more efficiently using drugs."
"I couldn't be a doctor, because I don't care enough about fat people."
"One of my pet peeves is when somebody says a thing is Orwellian in relation to private surveillance."
"It's not that I think you're incompetent; I just think most people are idiots and don't know you well enough yet to trust you."
"Really, she was trying to insult me? But she said I was like her brother."

It's like if Hermione Granger and Sherlock had a baby.
 

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Me: What do you think people taste like?
INTP Daughter: I read a story on the internet that back at a much earlier time, someone sampled the flesh of a healthy young man. Apparently it tasted like veal.
Me: I heard that burning people smell like pork.
INTP Daughter: Just because they smell like that doesn't mean they taste like that.
Me: Would you ever eat a person?
INTP Daughter: No.
Me: Are you sure?
INTP Daughter: Why?
Me: Well imagine you are starving to death, and the only thing you can eat to keep you alive is human flesh. You're not even rationalizing it anymore. Your body must be nourished or die.
INTP Daughter: Well, when you put it that way, I guess I would.
Me: That's pretty sick, you cannibal.

She will now be referred to as a cannibal on a regular basis.
 

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Manager: I want you to book a flight to [remote town in state] and go visit [stakeholder] and [affiliate organisation]
Me: ok.. <tries to set up meetings with [stakeholder] and [affiliate organisation]>
...
Me: So [stakeholder] is out of town. [Affiliate Organisation] is short staffed and the [MVP] is interstate at the moment. So.. although I'd love to go, I don't think it makes much sense because I can't actually go and see anyone or do anything useful with my time there.
Manager: No no.. just book it and go show your face.. just chat with some people and catch up with who is there
Me: but... which people?!
Manager: Wing it.. you'll be fine.
Me: *nuuuu...* ... So I'm going to go there and say 'Hi'.
Manager: Yes.. and then you'll take it from there and just have a nice conversation with them.


It's not just that I hate pointless stakeholder visitis, it's also that I'm not entirely comfortable just showing up there without having at least something to talk about.

Luckily there's this potential cyclone next week. Aside from the general destructive winds and rain and flooding and all that... it would be an awesome reason to cancel as I would have to fly right through it.
 

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Hahaha..
While I recognize the societal usefulness of sensates, any conversation with a sensate makes me want to drive nails through my eyelids.
:laughing: But anyway...

INTJ reflecting on his birthday: Nineteen years ago my mother was in a lot of pain. Yay.
I'm so going to use this one from now on!!! Thanks!

INTJ: If you die, I will kill you.
I've said that myself. Irony is fun. :D

INTJ: I love Google. If I could marry Google....I wouldn't. But, you know.
Actually, I'm sort of pissed that Google stole my job: knowing everything. :D
 

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Me: "Do you ever feel tired being yourself?"
INFP friend: "Yes, but only one second."
Me: "As if you count it..." *laughs*
INFP friend: "Because it'll be more tiring to be somebody else."
Me: "Yea I think so."
INFP friend: "See..."
 

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[5:40:18 PM] ¯\_(ツ)_/¯: and “swear to me. swear to me that everything that you said about the fireflies was true.”

"I swear."
[5:41:00 PM] ¯\_(ツ)_/¯: I’ve since grown to love and prefer games that give me the cathartic “…oh.” feeling at the end lmao
[5:41:51 PM] ¯\_(ツ)_/¯: and then I read people going “Joel chose to save a little girl over humanity? Bullshit!” and I feel like they missed the entire point of the story
[5:42:28 PM] : the saddest part of TLOU was when Sarah died
[5:42:31 PM] ¯\_(ツ)_/¯: people don’t like realistic endings to anything they watch, so I understand
[5:42:32 PM] ¯\_(ツ)_/¯: oh yeah
[5:42:38 PM] ¯\_(ツ)_/¯: and fucking naughty dog putting that in the prologue
[5:42:44 PM] ¯\_(ツ)_/¯: hats off to them
[5:42:54 PM] ¯\_(ツ)_/¯: mad props, the assholes
[5:43:21 PM] : so in some, ellie sort of became like a daughter to Joel. I think he called her Baby Girl. ugh. Joel
[5:43:26 PM] ¯\_(ツ)_/¯: I just find in-your-face realism in things refreshing when everything is made into some happy ending to appease the viewers
[5:44:08 PM] ¯\_(ツ)_/¯: Persona 3, The Last of Us, TWD, and games like them had endings that were in no way happy at all but they still moved every single person that played the games
[5:45:04 PM] ¯\_(ツ)_/¯: and people lambast them because “humanity! Joel’s an ass!”—this is true, in that view, but imo people that say these things haven’t really looked at themselves or humanity in the way that those games require
[5:45:43 PM] ¯\_(ツ)_/¯: morality is not black and white. it’s not cut and dry. people talk in shoulds, not wills, so a grand amount of people act like a hypothetical is what they would 100% do without thinking about who they would be in the situation of the characters
[5:46:25 PM] ¯\_(ツ)_/¯: it’s because many people don’t want to be seen as amoral or immoral or a monster by society because they aren’t doing or saying they would do the most right thing in every situation real or hypothetical
[5:47:20 PM] ¯\_(ツ)_/¯: and they don’t realize that as individuals and as humanity, we are not an amazing species. we destroy everything we touch—and while there are many amazing people pushing us forward, there are mounds more that give humanity its sobering definition of predator
[5:47:53 PM] ¯\_(ツ)_/¯: so when people say that they would without a doubt save someone or loads of people as a kneejerk reaction to a hypothetical, I tend to think they’re lying until they can prove otherwise
[5:48:07 PM] ¯\_(ツ)_/¯: bystander syndrome would not exist if this was truly the case
[5:48:37 PM] ¯\_(ツ)_/¯: we can all speak about what we would or should do but when it comes down to it, only a very rare and small handful of people would actually do it, and those people probably aren’t thinking about “what would I do if x?” they’d just do it.
[5:49:25 PM] ¯\_(ツ)_/¯: it’s the wondering and “shoulds” and “woulds” that shackle people to being unable to help others, where those who don’t allow those things to hold them back are the ones that actually do what everyone else say they “would”
[5:50:25 PM] ¯\_(ツ)_/¯: we’re all equal. we’re all the same as everyone else. fundamentally, I think we’re all amoral (I can elaborate). but it’s in admitting that none of us are gods or better than others for arbitrary reasons that we can see things more clearly
[5:51:52 PM] : girl. you’re going in deep and im not even sure if you’re still talking about TLOU still or about something else lol
[5:53:11 PM] ¯\_(ツ)_/¯: meh. the themes there underlie tlou pretty strongly
[5:56:31 PM] ¯\_(ツ)_/¯: I mean, most of people’s problems with TLOU lies in what Joel did and why and their disagreement with it, but I rarely see people who go any deeper than “I wouldn’t do that, no way no how, no matter what” and tend to bristle if someone asks “but are you sure?”
[5:59:52 PM | Edited 6:00:05 PM] ¯\_(ツ)_/¯: people, their psychology, humanity, life
none of those things are static, which seems to be the headspace (that they are static) people go into when speculating about moral situations.
there are just too many variables to know what you or anyone else would do in any situation, and saying “I would do the best thing” about the hypotheticals does nothing but serve as comfort.
[6:00:43 PM] ¯\_(ツ)_/¯: words don’t determine what a moral paragon or great person someone is. their actions do.
 

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I loved discussing TLoU with my friend who didn't just go
 
"Joel just sacrificed all of humanity over one girl. Dumbass..."
and concluded that it was a bad game. I kinda feel sorry for the people who weren't able to get the experience I had.

Now I feel like booting the game up. I'm currently at the hotel basement part in Grounded mode. It's fun in the "this adrenaline rush is gonna kill me" kind of way.
 
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