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Me: *making coffee* Hey, Dad?

Dad: Hmmm?

Me: Where's Shadow? (my cat)

Dad: He went outside...

*Loud cawing and obnoxious sounds of scrub blue jays outside*

*my twelve year old grey tabby is sitting at the patio door yowling to be let in*

Dad: *looks at cat* I told you not to go near those birds, but you didn't listen.

Cat: MEEEOOOOOOOOOOWWWWW!!!!!!!!! (Translation:MOM!)

Me: Don't look at me, you know that blue jays are a**holes...

*Kitty death glare*

(we're a bunch of weirdos and we talk to our pets which include, four dogs, two cats, and a horse. We also monologue them).
 

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What is even more embarrassing is this isn't the first time this kind of thing has happened to me. Unless someone takes their clothes off in front of me I usually have no idea what is going on.

Even if I get another chance I'll probably ruin that one too. Only in hindsight do I realize that hints were given. I am so bad at picking up hints. Even if they are obvious.
Hmm, have you ever tried creating a mental algorithm of sorts to detect them prior to hindsight? I think it is more compatible with our typical way of thinking. Like, saying something indirect about a lunch or dinner, with no known elimination factors (e.g. boyfriend) could indicate a hint. Next step could be to account for facial expression and body language. I've noticed in my life, without using some kind of forward-moving logic, there is no rhyme or reason to social stuff in my mind.

:idunno: maybe this post is pointless. I figure INTJ's don't meet too many people they like to begin with so missed opportunities become an even bigger deal. :/
 
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An ENTJ, an ISTP and an INTJ –me– are walking down the street…

ISTP: OMG! It looks like it’s going to rain sometime soon. What will happen to us now? :shocked:
ENTJ: [categorically] We’ll get wet :dry:
ISTP: I forgot my umbrella… and we’re still far from our destination
ENTJ: [upset] F*ck! The weather forecast was unreliable but I should have seen it coming… :rolleyes:
INTJ: I told you… [pulls a hoodie over his head] :kitteh:
ISTP: [curious] How did you know it would rain? :unsure:
INTJ: I didn’t, but preparedness isn’t optional guys :wink:
 

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Oh dear. ESFJ is one of the most important people in my life and we are destined to be like water and oil. I will continue to feel smothered by her attempts to make me feel respected and liked. And she will feel continually neglected by my considerate (from my view) habit of living and let live and just discussing issues she brings up because I figure that is the point at which people want their stuff discussed. To treat each other as the other would like to be treated would leave me feeling worn out and somewhat fake and would leave her feeling insensitive and uncaring.
you know what she wants/prefer/like, then you decide to be how you are and act how you want, she is important for you, you show zero effort to find a midlee point or even try her way a minimal.
Have you tried to still be yourself but just giving up a litle in the way you act(choosing diferent words, choosing different phrasing, a less neutral/different body languague(this one maybe need a litle less being you but could be an improve )?
From a non important,uninformed perspective your actions dont prove your words.

pd: im not an example of showing love and basically exprrees feelings and all that but i try.(and fail), also its just me " thinking loud"
 

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Husband sleeping and snoring:

husband: "CCCHOOOOOAAAAAAAR".
Me: "Teddy! You are snoring!"
husband: "What?"
Me: "You are snoring terribly!"
husband: "CHOOOOOROOOOOO."
Me: "TEDDY!"
husband: "Was?" [What?]
Me: "You are snoring terribly!"
husband: "CHUUUURWOOOOOO."
Me: "TEDDY!"
husband in a girly but impatient voice: "Ja, was denn?" [What is it?]
Me: "Du schnarchst fuerchterlich!" [You're snoring terribly].
Husband: "Uh!"
 

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you know what she wants/prefer/like, then you decide to be how you are and act how you want, she is important for you, you show zero effort to find a midlee point or even try her way a minimal.
Have you tried to still be yourself but just giving up a litle in the way you act(choosing diferent words, choosing different phrasing, a less neutral/different body languague(this one maybe need a litle less being you but could be an improve )?
From a non important,uninformed perspective your actions dont prove your words.

pd: im not an example of showing love and basically exprrees feelings and all that but i try.(and fail), also its just me " thinking loud"
I really don't want advice...on this...right now. I mean thanks for the effort and all but I've been in and working on this relationship for 2-3 years along with various other problems that always seem to need attending all at once, so while I don't have a handle on everything right now, I'm sure no quick advice from a stranger will help more than what we have already learned about each other. Not that I've historically been good at taking advice (so, who knows, I may well be arrogantly passing by the advice that will fix it all for me) and to be honest I do have to fight the urge to dole out unsolicited advice myself. Many a post I have deleted before sending because upon a re-read it I realised there was no specific request for advice.
 

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ESFP coworker/soon-to-be roommate: I'm gonna get a headboard with shelves in it. I think that will be nice.
Me: unless there's an earthquake.
ESFP: oh my god, I am going to adjust your attitude!
--
Me: remember how I showed you I had those little skin colored bumps on my fingers? Well I found out --
ESFP: HAND FOOT AND MOUTH DISEASE!!
Me: no! *laughing* definitely not! No, I figured out it only appears after I use this one product in my hair so--
ESFP: nope! My friend told me..that disease is bumps on your hands!!
Me: it's an allergic reaction.. I'm pretty sure HF&M disease comes with other symptoms like itchy rash and fever and feeling sick. I don't have those symptoms at all.
ESFP: *googling* fever, redness, irritability -- yeah! You're irritable right now! See!!
Me: :laughing: ugggghhh!!!

(ESFP was being facetious/silly, not serious)
 

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ESFP coworker/soon-to-be roommate: I'm gonna get a headboard with shelves in it. I think that will be nice.
Me: unless there's an earthquake.
ESFP: oh my god, I am going to adjust your attitude!
--
Well...it doesn't take much forethought to come up with a few problems for a headboard with shelves on it! :shocked:
 

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i think it would be really fun it you recorded that
Yep, I threatened him that I would if he snored like that again. But he said I mustn't put it on youtube. But if I film it with the light off, it would only be the sound, so nobody could identify him anyway.
 

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Yep, I threatened him that I would if he snored like that again. But he said I mustn't put it on youtube. But if I film it with the light off, it would only be the sound, so nobody could identify him anyway.
No video required. you could just record it with this Vocaroo | Online voice recorder and post the link.
 
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Be Brad. Visit ESFJ sister. Start to leave and talk to her while standing just outside her apartment doorway.

Me: I'll see you later, and I'm not backing down. The Empire Strikes Back is the best Star Wars movie.

Sister: No, A New Hope is better. And I'm the oldest so I'm automatically right!

Me: Actually when discussing two things, i.e. me and you, you want to use the comparative "older" rather than the superlative "oldest" which is used when discussing more than two...

Sister: AAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHH *slams door in my face*
 

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More adventures with my INTJ dad: Picking up Pizza two days ago

Dad: I need you to go pick up the pizza at 5:40ish

Me: Come with me...I'll drive...

Dad: You just want me to go so you don't have to go in and talk to people.

Me: I've exhausted my socialization quota for today...please *puppy dog eyes* *bats eyelashes*

Dad: Fine, and stop doing the doe eyes...it doesn't work anymore :rolleyes:

Me: *Smirk* SURE...

On the way back:

*Some moron cuts in front of me without using their turn signal, it's a major pet peeve of mine*

Me: Nice signal, Jacka**!

Dad: *nods approvingly* Good, you're learning. I have taught you well.
 

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On an almost daily basis I am confused (and amused) by certain conversations I have with others. I suspect I'm not alone. Please post examples (and the other person's MBTI) if you have them - if not the exact words then the general gist.

Here is one from today:


ISFJ: X's house was broken into yesterday and they stole her TV. I'm sure she'll want to move now, which is such a pity cause her house is so perfect.

Me: Does she have an alarm?

ISFJ: I don't think so. Plenty of people over there don't have them. I'm sure she'll end up moving.

Me: Or she could just get an alarm...

ISFJ: But she won't want to live there now that someone's broken in. Especially because she's elderly and alone.

Me: But she is no more or less likely to get broken into when she moves than she is now.

ISFJ: It's awful and she's older and has to live by herself. I'm sure she'll move.

Me: She'll still be living by herself if she moves...

ISFJ: I can't talk to you. Why are you so difficult to talk to?

:dry: :laughing: :ninja:
Hahahaha XD this made me laugh. This is ridiculous. If it was me I would booby trap the crap out of my house.
 

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Hahahaha XD this made me laugh. This is ridiculous. If it was me I would booby trap the crap out of my house.
I remember reading about a man whose house was broken into repeatedly. He had gotten sick of it so he set up a shotgun trap on his backdoor that would blast anyone who forcibly entered. The police saw it when they were questioning him and made him take it down as that is very illegal.
 
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