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Meh.
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Why is this conversation so hard?!

Me and ESFJ friend trying to settle on a time for coffee later today by email. We do this once every couple of weeks and the conversation today flowed along its standard pattern.

Me: Morning might be difficult. Got meeting at 10.30AM, might not take long so maybe at 11. If not, then it'll be afternoon after 1.30PM the earliest.
ESFJ: Yeah yeah sure just let me know. How about 1PM?
Me: no, like I said: 1.30PM earliest. [boyfriend] works in town this week so we're having lunch.
ESFJ: Ok so how about noon then?
Me: No...
ESFJ: 11?
Me: [tries to resist the urge to punch computer, copies and pastes first email with available times today]
ESFJ: well fine, you jut let know when you're available and we'll pick a time
Me: I just did that.
ESFJ: ok haha. How's work today?

Every. Time.
 

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oh, fer crud's sake.

*yesterday*
me, email to teammate, 7 am: feel like crap. staying home.
teammate, around 9 am: ok.
recruiter, by phone halfway through the day: where are you? i have a gentleman at <site> saying you're not at work.
me, by phone to recruiter: i'm effing sick. and you woke me up. which 'gentleman' doesn't know this?
recruiter: <name of qa manager>
me: oh. <silent> fuck me </silent>. that's <qa manager>. i don't know what his problem is. he's never needed to know where i am, and my team has been told. anyway i am here, and now i'm going back to bed.
product guy, email, midway-plus-1-hr through the day: where are you? are you alive?
me: i am FINE. i'm just dying, that's all. didn't <teammate> explain this to you?
product guy: no. anyway, glad to hear that you're not dead yet.

*today*

me: <goes to work and logs in>
qa manager, email, yesterday: where are you? why aren't you there? are you there? i don't seem to have any planned absence recorded for you.
me, email, today: no you don't, because it wasn't planned. i was not here.
me, to team in general: who sic'd the qa manager on me?
dev manager: me. you weren't here; i was worried.
me: :confused: <teammate> is two steps away. you didn't ask them?
dev manager: oh.
officious little fellow-qa analyst, for no reason at all, couple hours into the day: <qa manager> has been looking for you.
me: *garrrarenrrngh*
olf-qa: shall i go tell him you're here?
me: no, of course not. chill out. and go back to your desk.
pocket-norris qa analyst: what was all that all about? <qa manager> was really bent out of shape
me: for fucksake. i know. i had <recruiter> on the phone at home. i told <teammate> that i was sick. i don't understand these losers.
p-n qa: he sic'd <recruiter> on you?? so i guess you phoned him back and told him.
me: *sudden complete loss of cool* no, of course not. why would i call him? i don't talk to these people from home. i don't want to talk to him unless i'm at work. what's wrong with these people? i let <recruiter> do it.
p-n qa: oh right, i forgot. you have, like, boundaries.
 

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ISTP: Hmm...
Me: Then, people like you and me going to sell their Bitcoins to the bank and make profit. After all, some shady folks with too much real money will buy that huge reserve from the bank and use it for their shady intentions.
ISTP: I don't think those shady folks are that stupid... Paying 100,000,000 real dollars for buying 100,000 Bitcoins from the bank? Oh, come on!
Me: Well... Those shady folks are already stupid enough to waste the same amount of real money for bribes and lawyers. In the other hand, Bitcoin is untraceable.
ISTP: Interesting... So, it's like... Umm... Money laundering, right?
Me: Even better.
 

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*there's been this ludicrous thing where if anyone's local box connects to the main database, it fucks up integrity for the team that's working on record imports*

excitable developer, to pocket norris in the lunchroom: i am not speaking to you.
imperturbable pocket norris: yes you are. you're speaking right now.
e.d.: you told everyone that it's my fault your team weren't ready to demo, two times in a row.
p.n.: well, it was your fault. two times in a row.
e.d.: but you told people! you said, "excitable developer . . . "
p.n.: ...yeah? because it was true.
me: i liked the part when you guys got so mad <their dev> wrote a script to just sweep through every 3 seconds and boot everyone off. then no-one could do anything.
p.n.: *beam* yeah, that was good. screw us up, guys . . . we'll make you sorry.
e.d.: !!! i HAD to connect! i had a bug!! and also ...!! three days . . .i was blocked!! !!!! three!! by you guys.
me to p.n.: what happened to the whole idea that it was <third party supplier of the records> screwing you up? heard a lot about that for a while
p.n, expressionless: well, yeah, but then we discovered it's much more fun to blame e.d.
e.d. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
me: ... okay, yeah. i see your point.
 

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ESTP: This party's going to suck, the only person I know is Adrian.

Me: Adrian Brown?

ESTP: You know Adrian?

Me: Yeah, that's why I know his last name...

ESTP: HUHUHUHH SUCH A FUCKING SMART ASS, nah you're alright.





Names have been changed to protect the innocent, but I reckon this is a pretty stock interaction of INTJ-ESTP.
Yeah, similar conversation with a friend of mine:

*ESTP has his phone out*
Me: Why do you have locations next to people's names?
ESTP: I had too many people with the same names in here. It got confusing. This way I can tell which one is [name] from back home and which one is [name] here.
Me: ... you realize you could just add their last names, right?
ESTP: ... Eh, too much work.
 

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Meh.
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Me: Oh cool I have a job interview tomorrow at X for job Y
Person I Work With: HA! SEE!?
Me: (o_O) Uhm.. eh?
Person I Work With: I prayed for you two nights ago that you would get a new job and now you have a job interview.
Me: Ah.. right. ok. *slightly awkward*
Person I Work With: Well I'm sure that's why you got it
Me: *Frown* Yeah it had nothing to do with my resume and cover letter obviously..
Person I Work With: Well I'm just saying.. I prayed for you to get this interview and now you got your interview.
Me: Yeah totally unexpected since I applied for the job hey.
Person I Work With: *Laughs* oh you are just being cynical.
Me: .... *goes back to work*
 

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Me: Oh cool I have a job interview tomorrow at X for job Y
Person I Work With: HA! SEE!?
Me: (o_O) Uhm.. eh?
Person I Work With: I prayed for you two nights ago that you would get a new job and now you have a job interview.
Me: Ah.. right. ok. *slightly awkward*
Person I Work With: Well I'm sure that's why you got it
Me: *Frown* Yeah it had nothing to do with my resume and cover letter obviously..
Person I Work With: Well I'm just saying.. I prayed for you to get this interview and now you got your interview.
Me: Yeah totally unexpected since I applied for the job hey.
Person I Work With: *Laughs* oh you are just being cynical.
Me: .... *goes back to work*
O_O there's religious australians?

i kid :tongue:
 

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*broken water pump, no clean water for the day until the repairman comes to fix it*

--pondering on the water tank on the backyard--
INTP : 'hey, why dont we open this gauge? we still can get water out of it' [pointed to the only gauge on the lower part of the tank]
me : 'you wont get clean water if you open that gauge, you'll get dirt. plus, how are you gonna control the water? you'll get wet all along and you're wasting it'
INTP : 'really?'
me : 'are you sure you're Mensan?'
INTP : [raised his hands up] 'okay..okay'

--went to buy clean water in gallons--
INTP to store attendant : 'can we just buy this without giving you the empty gallon from the same brand?' *waving our empty gallon, from a different brand*
store attendant : 'no sir, you cant'
INTP : 'oh shit, now what?'
me : 'we got that empty gallon right? let's just pour the water to our gallon'
INTP : 'why i didn't think of that?'
me : *because you're an idiot* do you have rubber band? [to the store attendant]
store attendant : 'yes, let me get it'
INTP : 'what is it for?'
me : 'to tie the plastic sheet , we have nothing to seal the gallon; or you want some flood on your backseat?'
INTP : 'nice'
me : 'i start to feel like i live in some deserted area'
INTP : 'dont say it! dont jinx it! we dont want the power outage plus the water crisis!noo!'
me : *raised my eyebrows*

--buying some cold drinks (tea)---
INTP : 'hey, you want the less sugar or the regular?'
me : 'less sugar'
INTP : *took some from the racks, paid them* 'do you know that you're paying extra for the less sugar variant?'
me : 'and why is that?'
INTP : 'you know how they made the less sugar variant? they just added up some water and voila; it's basically two bottles with the cost of one; and we end up paying twice the actual price'
me : 'and you're telling me this now? after you bought them'
INTP : 'im making a point here'


--back at home--
INTP : 'okay, so how are we going to pee AND save water? we take turn.so we can flush 2 pees with 1 time flushing, or we can pee on the backyard'
me : 'WHAT!im NOT gonna pee on the ground'
INTP : 'oh now you're acting like a girl'
me : 'im having my period and my ground clearance is lower than yours, so NO! i have no hose attached on my genital area you idiot'
INTP : 'you cannnnn! just aim!'
me : 'no i cant'
INTP : 'yes you can, how hard it would be? just aim, and there you go..'
me : 'you wont be able to relate with me on this'
INTP : 'hmm..okay'


i wonder if cross genders friendship could be more absurd than ours.
 

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*broken water pump, no clean water for the day until the repairman comes to fix it*

--pondering on the water tank on the backyard--
INTP : 'hey, why dont we open this gauge? we still can get water out of it' [pointed to the only gauge on the lower part of the tank]
me : 'you wont get clean water if you open that gauge, you'll get dirt. plus, how are you gonna control the water? you'll get wet all along and you're wasting it'
INTP : 'really?'
me : 'are you sure you're Mensan?'
INTP : [raised his hands up] 'okay..okay'

--went to buy clean water in gallons--
INTP to store attendant : 'can we just buy this without giving you the empty gallon from the same brand?' *waving our empty gallon, from a different brand*
store attendant : 'no sir, you cant'
INTP : 'oh shit, now what?'
me : 'we got that empty gallon right? let's just pour the water to our gallon'
INTP : 'why i didn't think of that?'
me : *because you're an idiot* do you have rubber band? [to the store attendant]
store attendant : 'yes, let me get it'
INTP : 'what is it for?'
me : 'to tie the plastic sheet , we have nothing to seal the gallon; or you want some flood on your backseat?'
INTP : 'nice'
me : 'i start to feel like i live in some deserted area'
INTP : 'dont say it! dont jinx it! we dont want the power outage plus the water crisis!noo!'
me : *raised my eyebrows*

--buying some cold drinks (tea)---
INTP : 'hey, you want the less sugar or the regular?'
me : 'less sugar'
INTP : *took some from the racks, paid them* 'do you know that you're paying extra for the less sugar variant?'
me : 'and why is that?'
INTP : 'you know how they made the less sugar variant? they just added up some water and voila; it's basically two bottles with the cost of one; and we end up paying twice the actual price'
me : 'and you're telling me this now? after you bought them'
INTP : 'im making a point here'


--back at home--
INTP : 'okay, so how are we going to pee AND save water? we take turn.so we can flush 2 pees with 1 time flushing, or we can pee on the backyard'
me : 'WHAT!im NOT gonna pee on the ground'
INTP : 'oh now you're acting like a girl'
me : 'im having my period and my ground clearance is lower than yours, so NO! i have no hose attached on my genital area you idiot'
INTP : 'you cannnnn! just aim!'
me : 'no i cant'
INTP : 'yes you can, how hard it would be? just aim, and there you go..'
me : 'you wont be able to relate with me on this'
INTP : 'hmm..okay'


i wonder if cross genders friendship could be more absurd than ours.
A TV show must happen. It has to happen.
 

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A TV show must happen. It has to happen.
Agreed, lets get the ESFPs and ENFPs to fund it, so gullible.
Yeah, I mean I won't pay a dime for it because I don't roll that way, but if someone else wants to fund and produce it, it must happen.

uh..thanks? really, things like this happen on a daily basis in our house -his house, im renting the room downstairs on a friendly price.
and when the ENTP comes to visit, lots of facepalming and giggling will happen.

is it worth for a TV show?
 

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product guy: what are you laughing at?
me: cavernous dev lead.
pg: really?
me: yeah. <explains why>. he's so funny.
pg: i know. just don't let him catch you at it.
 

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product guy's wife is pregnant, but the baby's already dead. so as of yesterday, after a few weeks of miserable medical decision-making, she's been trying to miscarry safely at home. i checked in with him this morning to see how they are.

pg: . . . okay . . . well, you know what i mean.
me: yup.
pg: <bunch of stuff about what has happened and what's going on now>
me: gawd. you sure that you want to be here?
pg: <minor venting and sharing and all> and of course the thing is, she's in so much pain and i . . .
me: yeah i know. don't know, can't know.
pg: right exactly etc.
me: well . . . i'm not saying she's me but i have been in labour and i do have a match you might know, if you think it would help.
pg: please.
me: think of the worst stomach flu that you've ever had, like amoebic dysentery level, if you've ever had something like that.
pg: actually <dimmer lightbulb slowly raising to 'bright'> you know, as it happens i have.
me: it's like that.
pg: <full lightbulb> okay. because once, i was in australia, in the middle of some desert of course and i drank from this water tower . . . they told me afterwards the possums had probably been in it. it's called giardia. <graphic recounting>
me: beaver fever. okay. yes, that does sound the same. it isn't just that it hurts, it's the ways that it hurts. completely unlike any of the kinds of pain that you get from any body part you're already acquainted with.
pg: you know what, that really does help. i really do think i get what you mean. <beam> thanks.
me: you're welcome. not the kind of thing you can go around casually sharing in lunchrooms and stuff, so if i've finally found a good use for the info i'm really pleased.

and you know what, i am.
 

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i had my biggest win of this contract so far, late yesterday.

*excitable developer picks up an android-specific bug of mine out of the queue*

ed: lily! lily. this bug.
me: right.
ed: i cannot reproduce. *hands over android*
me: okay, lemme try. *tries to re-orient* someone's turned this thing upside down.
ed: i know. does not matter. orientation is slow.

<explanation at this point: the bug is simple and lovely. on the native browser for the android in question, if you access a dropdown list field, the list itself appears at the bottom of the screen in a slightly clunky format. the list control includes its very own Next, Previous, and Done buttons. turns out these cycle you between the like fields on the page>

me: h'mm. when you get to the last field and go Next again, it's supposed to walk right off the edge of the browser and crash. h'mm.
ed: is not crashing. and see? last field, Next is disabled.
me: i know. gah. how about Previous?
ed: no.
me: huh. look, now Previous doesn't disable when you're in the first field.
ed: hau . . .
me: hey, maybe it's because we've got it upside down!

i can't describe this in dialogue, because there was no dialogue. she gave me the most absolutely splendid pure-visual sequence of hears-absorbs-takes-seriously-reabsorbs-disbelief-and-slight-fear that i've ever seen. i have NEVER zanged anybody that well, in my life. she looked like her entire conception of me from the very ground up, had just been rocked by a force-7 quake.
 

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the excitable developer is learning to swim. dropping by to hear how it's going and offering her further tips and reassurance is now a reliable topic of conversation for any and all members of not only our team but interested 'strangers' as well.

so today, near the end of the day:

pg: how's the swimming?
ed: this time, i now am wanting to go in the deep end
*long discussion ensues*
*dev manager stops by to join in*
ed: ... now i can float you see, i don't care.
dev manager, ruminative: i find the older i get the easier floating becomes.
ed: hau. really?
dev manager: i keep getting fatter, you see. i float much better than when i was a skinny little kid.
product guy: it's true. see, ed - all you have to do is get fat - really really fat - and then you wouldn't be able to drown even if you wanted to.
ed: *ponders*
me: well, unless you gain all your extra fat in some area that's a long way from the body parts that you use to breathe with.
dev manager: *conniptions of laughter*
product guy: oh yeah, you'd be in real trouble then.
 

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Text conversation between me and ESTJ boss regarding a new student for me to tutor


ESTJ: New student boys 1.30 [subject2] and [Me] 2.30 [subject1] can we start this week?
Me: What's this about [subject2]? I can do 2.30 with [student i normally tutor for subject1]
ESTJ: I have another student for you on the same day she is bright. Do her before [student i tutor] but what time?
Me: Isn't [subject2] an art type subject? I didn't do [subject2]
ESTJ: U r only to do [subject1]
ESTJ: Not [subject2]
Me: If it's for 2 hours, then just put it 2 hours before [student i tutor] so 12.30
ESTJ: One hour 1.30
Me: Ok
ESTJ: Starting this week
Me: Yep

On the day, @12:28pm, I get a txt: Come now please he is waiting

Basically, I get in there ASAP at 1pm (originally thinking I have new student @ 1.30 and student1 @ 2.30)

She then tells me off for not being there at 11am for [student1] and that new student who is booked in @ 1pm, called in sick

Yep...
 
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