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5,535 Posts
intp kid as a just-4-yo:

my brother and me, one on each side of kid: one-two-three-WHEEEE!!
kid: *flies through air*. again!
us: one-two-three-wheee!
kid plus us: one-two-three-wheee!
etc etc.
kid plus me: one-two-
brother: seven!
kid: *conniption of giggles*
me plus kid: one-two-
brother: twelve!
kid: *more giggles*
me plus brother: one-two-
brother: *drops kid*

best double-take i ever saw out of him.
LOL, that made me laugh. And also, you should kick his bum about college (this is the one who was a bit slow to make up his mind, isn't it?) because if he knew about infinity at age 4, he hasn't got an excuse.

10,998 Posts
LOL, that made me laugh. And also, you should kick his bum about college (this is the one who was a bit slow to make up his mind, isn't it?) because if he knew about infinity at age 4, he hasn't got an excuse.
gmyeh . . . well, i was reading a novel a day in first grade, but it didn't make me any more ready to deal with college once all the bum-kicking had made me sign up. guess i don't really believe that it works to make gifted kids feel like prisoners of their own gifts.

5,535 Posts
gmyeh . . . well, i was reading a novel a day in first grade, but it didn't make me any more ready to deal with college once all the bum-kicking had made me sign up. guess i don't really believe that it works to make gifted kids feel like prisoners of their own gifts.
Yeah, I was just kidding :)

67 Posts
(My 7 year old niece was outside and "got stung" by a bee. She spent an hour screaming and crying because she thought getting the stinger out would hurt until this.)

Niece: I think that scab was there before. Not the sting part - the scab around it.
Her mom: So did you get stung or not?
Niece: I don't think so. It just looks like the scab is peeling.
Me: So, you spent an hour screaming and crying just to say you've had that for a while and weren't stung?
Niece: Maybe.

Why didn't you say that a hour ago?

1,135 Posts
INTJ: You need to post the video on your business page; I can't because you didn't make it public.
INFJ: It won't let me... it says it's not public.
INTJ: I know -- you need to make it public.
INFJ: I don't know how to do that.
INTJ: There's a "Facebook Fundamentals" class up at the senior center.
INFJ: Ha. Ha.

5,535 Posts
The magic of Ti and Ne

After ten years of mutual acquaintance my INTP friend made and effort to convey that he is quiet. I'm not sure why because I already knew that he is quiet. That's why I like him.

INTP: My son is a quiet and reserved child who doesn't ask for help.
INTJ thinks: LOL LOL LOL, I wonder why that would be? Maybe he's like you.

half a year later:
INTP: Why don't you call the waiter over?
INTJ: No. I'll do it the English way. I'll just sit here and wait.
INTP: I thought that was the German way.
INTP: *puffs up his chest in a manly way, addresses waiter haughtily, inspects his own nose and orders drinks*
INTP: *think think think*
INTJ: *meditate*
INTP: I've often thought that maybe it isn't that good to be so quiet and reserved.
INTJ thinks: Oh no, the poor creature, why is he saying that? He shouldn't think nonsense like that. Shock! Heartbreak!
INTP: Well, because if one is quiet and reserved, one isn't that outgoing and doesn't keep in touch with people.
INTJ: LOL LOL LOL, I know someone who's like that.
INTJ thinks: Circular logic, much? I want to put you into a turtle sanctuary where you don't need to think about nonsense. ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
INTP: *blushes furiously*
INTP: Hey, look at what they are eating over there! I should have ordered that!
INTJ thinks: What? How? How can you see what they are eating while you are looking at me and talking to me? Also, don't make comments like that when those people can actually hear you. I don't want to put you into a turtle sanctuary, you're embarrassing.

4,814 Posts
Here's one that I remember doing on multiple occasions when I was in high school

-someone sitting in my favorite seat on the bus-
Me: Get the fuck out of my seat
-they get up and leave-

Usually I could get away with just a death stare, but sometimes I had to speak up... they knew better.

10,998 Posts
ml: you're doing more of a deadlift squat.
me: *jolt*. okay. so, can you -
ml: what you do is <yada yada>
me: no wait. that's different from what you just showed me twenty seconds ago
ml: *huh? face*
me: *flailing backward in time* you just told me i had to -
ml: ohhh . . . no silly. that's the roumanian deadlift!
me: right. i KNOW. i thought that was what we were talking about.
ml: *peal of laughter* *playful swat on the arm* you're so funny!
me: so let me try sort this out. when you just showed me this -
ml: deadlift squat yes. that's right! you've got it.
me: okay. great. so in the roumanian one, you DON'T do <whatever it was>
ml: no no, of course not! you'll wreck your back that way.
me: *blanks her out. tries it all out by myself*
ml: there you go. roumanian deadlift, good work. hee hee hee, you're so funny. so cute.
me: *mentally drops 40 pounds on her foot.*
i walked out of this woman's last class without explaining or saying goodbye, i got so sick of her. thought it would lead to awkwardness the next time i ran into her, which i knew that i would eventually since i took up stronglifts workouts on my own and i'm in there all the time. well, i needn't have worried.

me: *in squat rack*
her: heyyyyyyyyyy! lily!!!!! how you doooooing??? *swat on arm*
me: i'm doing well
her: and you're still lifting, i see.
me: yup.
her: well, good for you!
me: :confused:
her: carrying on.
me: *why wouldn't i?*
her: so you . . . *hinting information-fishing face*
me: *blank face*
her: you're . . . ? you went and . . .?
me: *blank*
her: now you're . . . you just carried on on your own?
me: yup.
her: . . . well, that's just great. that's amazing.
me: yup.
her: good for you!
me: *oh, i get it. you think i'm retarded. i see.*
her: ... well, good luck.
me: yup. *is she going? thank god*
her: you should be proud! i hope you're proud. you deserve to be proud of yourself.
me: sure. i am. *next set*
her: *finally leaves*

8,026 Posts
My manager... I don't even know what to say.

Me: *type up urgent letters for personman in absence of assistant, based on standard template that's been in use for at least 2 years. Have to get them signed off by manager before urgently forwarding them to other organisation so that personman can actually do his job*
Manager comes back to my desk (fully aware of urgency): "Yeah so I don't really like the margins on this letter"
Me: "the what?"
Manager: "The margins? .. like, the lay-out" - "Oh yes and on the other one I don't really like the word 'motivate'.. we really need to change that to something else. I don't really like how that's worded."
Me: *stares* *waits in vain for her to say HAHA joke*
Manager: "Yeah so it would be just lovely if you could change that. Thanks" *dumps letters in my in-tray*
Me: "You're aware that this is the same template you've signed off at least 5 times in the last week, right?"
Manager: "Yes but this is just bugging me now"
Me: *swallow words that are about to come out, force obviously fake smile on face* Righto.

Way to have your priorities in order lady. How the fuck do I even take this person seriously?

5,535 Posts
Sock-sorting Part 4

ISTJ husband is sorting out the freshly-washed laundry, matching up all the pairs of black socks.ISTJ: Why are those socks always such a puzzle?
Me: Huh.
ISTJ: And yours are always inside out.
Me: It's the sock troll.
ISTJ: Is it?
Me: Yes, he steals them and turns them inside out.
ISTJ: blablabla about socks
Me *playing Candy Crush and not listening*
ISTJ: It's a nice game for kids.
Me: What? Sock-sorting?
ISTJ: No, memory pairs.
Me: Oh.

Me: Why do you have to match all the socks in the first place seeing as they are all black?
ISTJ: Well... they've all got different shapes.
Me: No, yours are big and mine are small, but that's it.
ISTJ, getting unconfortable: They've all got different shapes.
Me: Aren't they just all sock-shaped?
ISTJ: NO, they are different cuts! They are different pairs that go together!
Me: I'm just trying to upset you. :p
ISTJ: :mad: And you are succeeding.
Me: Just imagine if you were to wear a pair of black socks and one is half an inch shorter than the other!
ISTJ: Well, I would find that annyoing!

LOL, what if he knew that I used to wear different colour socks sometimes in imitation of my ENTP brother!

A few months later:
Me: LOOK! Sock-sorting is a game on facebook!

Me: There's a game called "Odd Socks"! I'll play it. *plays*
ISTJ: Oh... so if it's a game on facebook you can do it.
Me: Yeah, that's because you have to match socks of the same colour. Ours are all black. If you want me to match them, why don't you buy coloured socks?
ISTJ buys black socks with different colour toes and heels.
ISTJ: Come on sock troll, you can play "Odd Socks" in reality now.
Me: Yay, sock-sorting! :) Hehehehe. *jumps up and helps husband*
Me: There's a video about the sock troll on youtube, you have to watch it with me!
ISTJ: Huh?
Me: See, I told you the sock troll is real!
ISTJ: I know, I live with one.
Me: Everybody should watch this documentary, so they can protect themselves!
ISTJ: Yes, it's a menace to society.


5,535 Posts
it would be interesting, for me, to know if there is an specific reasoning about why you relate think with entp, meditate with intj

(silly question maybe)
Apart from that, Ti *seems* more active to me than Ni. Ti seems like a deliberate step-by-step thing, whereas Ni just drifts and meanders unless you concentrate and try to use it consciously. I don't know whether Ti is actually like that, it's just my impression.

1,058 Posts
(At a nursing home, 5pm is dinner time)
Me: Oh look, they're coming
Cousin: They're coming?
Bro: Kinda reminds me of zombies from call of duty
Me: I was thinking of the walking dead

599 Posts
Boss man: Agni, have you completed that optional training that everyone is fussing about?
Me: Nope, it's optional and I opted to not do it. It gives me no value and I don't want to waste my time by doing that.
Boss man: It's "optional" but you should do it as it's important to our management and thus we are told to strongly encourage people to complete it.. Weight on the word strongly.
Me: So you say that it's actually mandatory?
Boss man: Yes, no, well let's leave it at "STRONGLY ENCOURAGED"
Me: Ok.
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