[Namaste]

Do you ever expect others' to perform favors for you?... Say, maybe, you have built up 'guilt money' and have assumed many acts of service to someone without them asking, but then you expect them to return the favor without asking?

 

[HandiAce]

I don't expect anyone to do anything for me other than the things I end up taking for granted. Such as all the things my parents did for me.

 

[sts06]

No, not at all. I do things for others because it feels like the right thing to do not because I am building up a 'store' to use against them later. Now, if you'd asked if I feel used when people ask a lot of me and never give me anything in return the answer would be yes. I see this as a two-way street where if you constantly ask me to do something and I always do it for you, I'd hope that the person would reciprocate if I needed something done but I don't 'expect' it. What bugs me about this situation is how people have learned that I don't like saying no and they use that against me by guilting me into doing things for them.

 

[teddy564339]

Do you ever expect others' to perform favors for you?... Say, maybe, you have built up 'guilt money' and have assumed many acts of service to someone without them asking, but then you expect them to return the favor without asking?

No, and when other people try to do this to me, I find it very irritating.



But I do agree with sts in that sometimes I feel like I do a lot and don't get back as much in return. But I don't expect anyone to do this...it's just nice when it does happen, because sometimes it does.

 

[Narrator]

What Handiace said.

 

[Life.Is.A.Game]

I used to expect people to want to do things for me the way I did for them, usually in relationships. It took me a long time to accept the fact that just because I like doing things for people, it doesn't mean they like doing things in return. I thought it was common sense to communicate about my needs with my partner and for him to communicate his needs with me, and for us to compromise and do what's best for the other. I still think it should be common sense lol but I noticed some are more "selfish" then others, they ask for things but when it's about returning favors...well...they don't. So I stopped doing things because I thought it was what a relationship was about, now I just do it if I feel like it. It seems to work better this way, because now I don't have things to throw in anyone's face, I completely detached myself from doing things out of guilt or because I thought it was common sense. Plus I have more time for myself and not so concerned if the other person needs something, for some reason I take the "i'm in control" role and "i can do everything right" and the other person takes advantage of it. No more baby, no more. I'm much happier this way actually so it's a lesson well learned for me.