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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I know what you're thinking- what!? This experiment is likely only to apply to NFs or ESFXs and even then, probably only really fits type 4s...possibly 2s! Okay so maybe some of you aren't thinking that. But to be honest, this experiment, I'm hoping to dig a little deeper. Everyone has an idealised way of seeing themselves. But how might this be different from NTs to NFs from NFs to SFs from SFs to STs so forth. Maybe for some types this might not even be an issue. Let's see how they differ and maybe it can help people type themselves in future by seeing which they relate to.


Okay, so I don't want to state a hypotheses only out of not wanting the answers to be swayed in any shape or form but if this post gets around 20 replies, I will state what the hypotheses was. Actually, nah I'll just say it. It's not that exciting..Actually no, I'll do it after. You guys will probably be able to guess where I'm coming from.



So here are my questions:

1. What is your mbti (w/enneagram if possible) type?

2. Do You Have A Certain Way You'd Prefer To Be Perceived? (If no, skip to question 6)

3. How Would You Like To Be Percieved vs How You Actually Are? (You Can Do Desired MBTI Type vs Real MBTI Type If This Is Easier)

4. Why do you idealise the above traits/character mentioned in question 3?

5.How do you feel when you do something that contradicts your idealised self?

6.How consciously do you put in effort to be your idealised self?

7. Do/would you take it as an insult when you are described in a way you wish you weren't. This doesn't necessarily mean you react emotionally toward the person because they might not mean it in a bad way, but it does have that same effect?

8. How do you face/become being told to change in an aspect of your personality by a person who holds a lot of meaning to you?

9. Do you idealise others?

10. Do you feel as respected or as responsible as others?


All right-y, all done. Thanks for responding. I know it's long, but I'm just interested.
 

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I'm a bit confused about the implications of your experiment. The MBTI measures preference, not ability. As such, everyone should see themselves as their own type but with their functions better developed. If they aspire to "act like" or be "seen as" a different type, that's really more of a concern regarding what archetype(s) one admires than what MBTI-type(s) they admire.

So are we supposed to discuss which stereotypes/archetypes we would like people to associate with us, or something different?
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
I'm a bit confused about the implications of your experiment. The MBTI measures preference, not ability. As such, everyone should see themselves as their own type but with their functions better developed. If they aspire to "act like" or be "seen as" a different type, that's really more of a concern regarding what archetype(s) one admires than what MBTI-type(s) they admire.

So are we supposed to discuss which stereotypes/archetypes we would like people to associate with us, or something different?
I wrote questions. Is it question 3 you're confused with?

I'm trying to implicate the same kind of thing this thread is: http://personalitycafe.com/myers-br...sly-pretending-thinkers-among-population.html

Not everybody acts the way they wish they did. That's what I'm trying to focus on.
 
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Discussion Starter · #5 · (Edited)
Technically questions 2 and 3. But yes, primarily question 3.
Sorry I didn't mean to put the question mark there I was distracted and might of sounded like a d***, but I responded.
 

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Sorry I didn't mean to put the question mark there I was distracted and because of it sounded like a d***, but I responded.
No worries at all. No harm done.

I wrote questions. Is it question 3 you're confused with?

I'm trying to implicate the same kind of thing this thread is: http://personalitycafe.com/myers-br...sly-pretending-thinkers-among-population.html

Not everybody acts the way they wish they did. That's what I'm trying to focus on.
Ah! I see.

I believe that phenomena such as the one that you're looking at are primarily the result of people misinterpreting the implications and structures of the MBTI. For example, someone may value adaptability and consequently proclaim that they wish to "see themselves" as a P. But in reality, it's a futile point, as Ps are inherently no more capable of adaptation than Js. The P/J dichotomy in the context of the MBTI seeks to establish one's preference in relation to cognitive functions, not their capacity to uphold certain behaviors or values. Similarly, the desire to be emotionally sensitive may lead an ISTP to wish they were an ENFJ, despite the fact that being an ENFJ would not make them any more emotionally adept than they already are as an ISTP.

This said, I do now understand what data you're trying to collect and would be interested to hear from others, but I don't think that I would be a very useful respondent for your study. There are certainly characteristics that I would like to exemplify that I do not presently excel at, but I don't believe that my type (or any other) inhibits my ability to achieve those qualities.
 

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1. What is your mbti (w/enneagram if possible) type?
ESTP 8w9

2. Do You Have A Certain Way You'd Prefer To Be Perceived? (If no, skip to question 6)
Friendly, interesting, a bit stupid, knowledgeable, good at giving advise, spotting warning signs, honest, reliable, open minded.

3. How Would You Like To Be Percieved vs How You Actually Are? (You Can Do Desired MBTI Type vs Real MBTI Type If This Is Easier)
I think that's how I actually am. I'd probably like to enjoy being more assertive but it's much better in small doses.

4. Why do you idealise the above traits/character mentioned in question 3?
I enjoy the umph I get out of it but if I were more assertive I'd feel like a building. I prefer laid back.

5.How do you feel when you do something that contradicts your idealised self?
Really good.

6.How consciously do you put in effort to be your idealised self?
Never.

7. Do/would you take it as an insult when you are described in a way you wish you weren't. This doesn't necessarily mean you react emotionally toward the person because they might not mean it in a bad way, but it does have that same effect?
Pretty much yeah. But people will always have their own interpretations. It's more if somebody repeats back what I say and I think to myself "I didn't say that".

8. How do you face/become being told to change in an aspect of your personality by a person who holds a lot of meaning to you?
If it's a key aspect like "there's no need to shout" I'd just be like "I'm not shouting but I understand what your saying I just get excited".

9. Do you idealise others?
No not really.

10. Do you feel as respected or as responsible as others?
Sometimes.
 

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*Don't know how helpful I can be without knowing my MBTI for certain but I'm going to answer anyways*

1. What is your mbti (w/enneagram if possible) type?
MBTI: IxFJ probably, 5w6, 9w1, 4w3

2. Do You Have A Certain Way You'd Prefer To Be Perceived? (If no, skip to question 6)
I'd prefer to be viewed as intelligent, successful, responsible, open minded, honest

3. How Would You Like To Be Percieved vs How You Actually Are? (You Can Do Desired MBTI Type vs Real MBTI Type If This Is Easier) Above is pretty much equivalent to who I am now. I guess I wish to be perceived as not being so anxious a bit let emotive, but both those things are integrated into my personality.

4. Why do you idealise the above traits/character mentioned in question 3?
It's not that I quite idolize either placidity or calmness, but both would probably make life 10x easier if I could integrate them to some extent

5.How do you feel when you do something that contradicts your idealised self?
It can be annoying, but I don't dwell on it.

6.How consciously do you put in effort to be your idealised self?
If I do, I don't do it consciously. Although I have a way I'd like to be perceived, in the long run it doesn't matter if that's what happens. Still, I am a rather controlled individual, so I wouldn't deny that my ideals effect my behavior to some extent.

7. Do/would you take it as an insult when you are described in a way you wish you weren't. This doesn't necessarily mean you react emotionally toward the person because they might not mean it in a bad way, but it does have that same effect?
It depends on the description that they give. I probably wouldn't take it as an insult unless what the other person said was something I didn't value or if it was super incorrect.

8. How do you face/become being told to change in an aspect of your personality by a person who holds a lot of meaning to you? That's happened before regarding my organization. I was told this by my mom who has OCD, and since the disorganization is really bothersome to her, I actively tried to change that aspect of myself for several years (unfortunately with no avail)

9. Do you idealise others?
Nope

10. Do you feel as respected or as responsible as others?
At times
 

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1. What is your mbti (w/enneagram if possible) type?
ISTJ

2. Do You Have A Certain Way You'd Prefer To Be Perceived? (If no, skip to question 6)
Like a different type? No. There are people who prefer to be perceived as certain types but for myself this is not something I can fathom.

6. How consciously do you put in effort to be your idealised self?
I'm not sure if I'm understanding this term correctly so my answer might not be what you're after. If I want to be a certain way I will think of ways to achieve that so that in the long run, that is who I am and in the meantime, that is who I am becoming. I don't care for making myself out to be someone that I am not.

7. Do/would you take it as an insult when you are described in a way you wish you weren't. This doesn't necessarily mean you react emotionally toward the person because they might not mean it in a bad way, but it does have that same effect?
I think these questions are too roundabout for me. xD

  • I don't like being described as someone that I am not.
  • Someone describing me in a way I wish I wasn't wouldn't apply to me.

8. How do you face/become being told to change in an aspect of your personality by a person who holds a lot of meaning to you?
This hasn't happened to me before (or I don't recall it). I have been criticised though.

9. Do you idealise others?
I used to idealise crushes and I learnt from that. Do I idealise people now? Well I think it's easy to think good things about people so I'm cautious to only hold onto the actions they have shown but do not form my opinions about them till much later so that I can see the patterns emerging. I do not ever want to think more highly of a person than they actually are. I'd rather they represent themselves, I don't want anything to do with idealisation.

10. Do you feel as respected or as responsible as others?
It depends on the circumstance.

  • There are plenty of times I am not as respected as others but that can be due to other people's bias and discrimination.
  • As long as I am putting in the effort to be respected, I'm okay with that. And if I see the fruit of it, great.
  • I don't feel a need to compare my responsibility.
 

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1. What is your mbti (w/enneagram if possible) type?
INFJ
Enneagram 4

2. Do You Have A Certain Way You'd Prefer To Be Perceived?

The way I prefer to be perceived has a lot to do with how people perceive me.

3. How Would You Like To Be Perceived vs How You Actually Are? (You Can Do Desired MBTI Type vs Real MBTI Type If This Is Easier)

I am pretty much as people experience me. I have no prior expectations when I meet people.

4. Why do you idealise the above traits/character mentioned in question 3?
I do not idealise any trait or character,I accept who I am, warts and all.


5.How do you feel when you do something that contradicts your idealised self?

I don't have an idealised self concept.

6. How consciously do you put in effort to be your idealised self?

I don't, I just am

7. Do/would you take it as an insult when you are described in a way you wish you weren't. This doesn't necessarily mean you react emotionally toward the person because they might not mean it in a bad way, but it does have that same effect?

I have absolutely no issues with people highlighting particular traits of my personality that may impact upon them in a negative way. I think it is a positive aspect of human relationships to develop a deeper understanding of each other.

I accept that everyone is different and that includes me. Someone may have a negative view of me because I might remind them of someone in their past who treated them badly.

8. How do you face/become being told to change in an aspect of your personality by a person who holds a lot of meaning to you?

I would not change anything about my personality. In fact even after many years of therapy this is an impossible task and should not to be undertaken. Our personalities are written in stone and cannot be changed, It is fundamentally who we are.

9. Do you idealise others?
No

10. Do you feel as respected or as responsible as others?
Yes
 

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1. What is your mbti (w/enneagram if possible) type?
ISFP. Type 4, not exactly sure on the wing, but i'm leaning towards 3 so far.

2. Do You Have A Certain Way You'd Prefer To Be Perceived? (If no, skip to question 6)
I want to be likable is all, really. I want people to think i'm approachable and friendly, which i guess goes hand in hand with likable.

3. How Would You Like To Be Percieved vs How You Actually Are? (You Can Do Desired MBTI Type vs Real MBTI Type If This Is Easier)
I want to be seen as likable and friendly, but in real life i'm very quiet and too far down the introvert side of the scale. Most people probably think I'm snobbish, tbh. Really, my desired type is ESFP.

4. Why do you idealise the above traits/character mentioned in question 3?
I'm not sure. I just want to be liked? Maybe it's because i'm not fully accepting of myself. I'll stop at that before I get too real in this post here.

5.How do you feel when you do something that contradicts your idealised self?
it makes me feel bad. just... bad.

6.How consciously do you put in effort to be your idealised self?
I tire myself out (too often) by going to parties, or at least events where there will be lots of people. Ones that I could opt out on, but I don't.

7. Do/would you take it as an insult when you are described in a way you wish you weren't. This doesn't necessarily mean you react emotionally toward the person because they might not mean it in a bad way, but it does have that same effect?
Yeah. If someone told me I was too distant, it'd hurt. That's the opposite of what I'm going for.

8. How do you face/become being told to change in an aspect of your personality by a person who holds a lot of meaning to you?
It really depends, but in most cases, I think if someone that's close to me told me I needed to change something, I'd probably start working on changing it.

9. Do you idealise others?
Some people. I can idealize them even though I know that they're just human like me. It still slightly shocks me when they prove that they're not the person i made them out to be, though.

10. Do you feel as respected or as responsible as others?
It depends, again. Usually i dont though.
 

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I absolutely love your experiments! Keep them coming!

1. What is your mbti (w/enneagram if possible) type? INFP, 5w4

2. Do You Have A Certain Way You'd Prefer To Be Perceived? I don't know if this is what you're talking about, but my whole life I haven't really been taken seriously too much. I have some sort of ego trip about being taken seriously.

3. How Would You Like To Be Percieved vs How You Actually Are? (You Can Do Desired MBTI Type vs Real MBTI Type If This Is Easier) I want to be perceived as myself but treated as seriously at least as an INTP or at most as an INTJ is when I talk about areas of expertise. I get a lot of eye rolls; especially when I talk about Plague. I don't know if it just sounds so out of nowhere or if it's just a really bizarre topic, but I know a lot about it and it seems like every time I bring it up I'm questioned as if I'm some sort of defective human lol.

4. Why do you idealise the above traits/character mentioned in question 3? I don't really idealize these types; it's just about being taken seriously is all.

5.How do you feel when you do something that contradicts your idealised self? I don't take myself seriously enough to get too bent out of shape. I mean, once I was playing Scrabble with some NTs and I asked, "How do you spell Q?" lol, I still laugh about that one.

6.How consciously do you put in effort to be your idealised self? When I think about this question, I think of self betterment. I believe that I am in a position to better myself when I'm authentic, open minded, and use critical thinking. I challenge my beliefs and thoughts often to ensure I'm not using irrational thought.

7. Do/would you take it as an insult when you are described in a way you wish you weren't. This doesn't necessarily mean you react emotionally toward the person because they might not mean it in a bad way, but it does have that same effect? Not as an insult, but it violates my conception of the idea of truth. Since I can't be anything other than myself, it sort of confuses me when others point out a trait in me that I'm not aware of. For example, once a close friend said that I was the most extroverted person I knew. I had an "if you don't know me by now, you will never never never know me ..." moments followed by the internal question of, "why do people equate being loud with being extroverted?" Not insulting; just weird. Incorrect perception is a bit of a fascination to me, actually.

8. How do you face/become being told to change in an aspect of your personality by a person who holds a lot of meaning to you? First, I detach from the critique. I view the critique as objectively as I can and observe the emotion I have relating to it with the understanding that emotions are transient and that's just my initial response. If I'm aware of the flaw, I think about what precipitates that behavior and I challenge my beliefs and ideas about the response I have and try to change it for the better. If I'm unaware of the flaw, I might enlist others to confirm to me whether or not I actually have that flaw or not (like siblings, for example) or I would start self-monitoring for that flaw. Then, I would change it if I believe that flaw is inhibiting me in any way or is disrespectful of those who I care about.

9. Do you idealise others? I think the only person I've ever idealized is my dad. I think that's pretty normal for kids. Growing up, I had a very unhealthy/mentally ill mom and I was removed from her house and put in my dad's full custody. I say this because my dad really was this hero figure for me, so there's some pretty deep rooted psychological complexes there I'm sure. If I do idealize someone, I'm not aware of doing it. I like to keep an open mind and see how a person is over the course of time and look for consistency, instead. I also like to take things at face value, too.

10. Do you feel as respected or as responsible as others? Generally, yes. My sense of self esteem is probably average. I see areas where I could improve and gain more respect and I also see areas in my life where I could act more responsible, but I do the best I can and that's all I can really ask of myself. : )
 
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1. Xxxp
2. I'm just okay. So you don't have to worry about me. To be strong and independent
3. Well, I'm trying to be strong and independent. Which is I'm living now. People thinks I'm not okay but I'm totally okay. I hate it when people asks if I'm okay.
4. I make it come true, by setting my heart into it
5. I feel like a human being capable of making mistakes because sometimes i think I'm super human
6. Well, i wanna be good at something, i try and force myself to do it eventhough i don't like to. Just atleast try.
7. Well i hate people assuming things from me like they know me just by one thing i said. I practice ignoring them because you cannot change the way people think.
8. Well i get angry when someone tells me to change into someone I'm not. I can improve but changing fuck you
9. Nopes. I don't like people
10. I'm a loser. Joke. I don't care about my status.

Sent from my E5823 using Tapatalk
 

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1. What is your mbti (w/enneagram if possible) type?
ENFP. Not sure about enneagram yet, probably 3w4...

2. Do You Have A Certain Way You'd Prefer To Be Perceived? (If no, skip to question 6)
Doesn't everyone? I would love to be perceived as trustworthy, caring, determined, passionate, open-minded, intelligent, and honest.

3. How Would You Like To Be Percieved vs How You Actually Are? (You Can Do Desired MBTI Type vs Real MBTI Type If This Is Easier)
I think I'm already everything I mentioned above.

4. Why do you idealise the above traits/character mentioned in question 3?
I idealize the concept of intelligence in general, and I believe it should go hand in hand with kindness and compassion whenever possible. Too often I see people who are logically sound acting like complete assholes.

5.How do you feel when you do something that contradicts your idealised self?
Pretty shitty. Like I've made a mistake I should try my hardest not to repeat.

6.How consciously do you put in effort to be your idealised self?
I guess it doesn't require much effort since I think I'm already perhaps too much of a few things I mentioned as ideal traits.

7. Do/would you take it as an insult when you are described in a way you wish you weren't. This doesn't necessarily mean you react emotionally toward the person because they might not mean it in a bad way, but it does have that same effect?
Yes, definitely. Someone calling me the opposite of any word I mentioned would probably hurt me terribly so if the person was close to me. Or just slightly irritate me if they're someone I barely know.

8. How do you face/become being told to change in an aspect of your personality by a person who holds a lot of meaning to you?
I'd try to talk about it with them first, what aspect of my personality bothers them, try to put myself in their shoes and see if their criticism holds weight or if they are just the kind of person you can't please. If it doesn't negatively affect me to change, I don't see why I wouldn't.

9. Do you idealise others?
Yes.

10. Do you feel as respected or as responsible as others?
I don't think I'm responsible at all. Respect isn't something I want much. I want people to treat me the same as I think any human being should be treated.
 

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So here are my questions:

1. What is your mbti (w/enneagram if possible) type?
eSTP enny not positive entirely on Entire enny tri main seems very 7/6, something like 8,3,4,5 area aside from or winged w/ 7&6
Extremely socially ambiverted.

2. Do You Have A Certain Way You'd Prefer To Be Perceived? (If no, skip to question 6)
Competent generally speaking

3. How Would You Like To Be Percieved vs How You Actually Are? (You Can Do Desired MBTI Type vs Real MBTI Type If This Is Easier)
I think I tend to be seen as competent overall. But it has caused me to have blind ambition and over shoot my mark or be overly confident at times where I should have prepared better. Which than can in consequence of the moment definitely not be competent, lol. BUT in the same regard I learn from error generally. So with all my over shooting my mark and mistakes I also have more of a bank of experience to refine my competence come next time around in what ever event or endeavor. Etc etc. It's not just an image thing internally I like to be a jack of many things. Sometimes it pays to slow your roll tho and master stuff exclusively even if it feels confining in the moment.

4. Why do you idealise the above traits/character mentioned in question 3?
Probably has a little to do with nature and a little to do with nurture and environment.

5.How do you feel when you do something that contradicts your idealised self?
I HATE failing in the moment but not as much as I would if I never tried.

6.How consciously do you put in effort to be your idealised self?
It's both conscious and subconscious

7. Do/would you take it as an insult when you are described in a way you wish you weren't. This doesn't necessarily mean you react emotionally toward the person because they might not mean it in a bad way, but it does have that same effect?
Depending. Sometimes things hurt me more than they should and I will mull. And other times somethings do not even hit a nerve.

8. How do you face/become being told to change in an aspect of your personality by a person who holds a lot of meaning to you?
Well usually I will just withdraw and process and work it out and be fine.
Where I run into issues is if I ever feel CORNERED with someone who expects results or forces me to endure their process. I have a very kind well intended ENFJ boss who may have had a constructive angle for a few things. But she would not allow me to Ti. She was very insistent on prematurely asking me to relay Fe before it went thru my Ti. She was very very well intended but extremely dismissive and devaluation was key there. I actually took quite a heavy dose of Fe evaluation with it not being my natural orientation. Now keeping in mind what I said above about competency being key in me. Well being quizzed on my Fe everyday and forcing premature and then going under evaluation and constant suggestion was disparaging. As much as she wanted group harmony she missed that I am harmonious when I am contributing not connecting.

Because she is all about finding the meaning in everything I was constantly challenged myself to find the meaning and growth in everything. What she does not realize tho is I find my personal growth internally thru reflection. Not sharing it. I was basically told everyday how I could be more of an NFJ. (Bare in mind this is my friend yes but boss so because this is work and I care about my resume I take a lot of what she says in stride-no where in there is she being told to be an STP everyday.)

I had enough tho when she was so preoccupied with lecturing me on group harmony skills (not my selling point I do the forced nuances but don't expect me to be an NFJ) and she completely over sighted and over looked my contributions in production and efficiency. I did give my notice after like the 3rd time she called me out on not having my head up everyone's ass and labeled it as 'incidents' and her actually requesting of me I apologize for sake of harmony. Um that's an HR Nono and she thought she was so in the right for basically making it ... "apologize or do you even wanna work along this team". Uh yeah her boss and HR told her I should have never been asked to apologize and asked if I still wanna work there or if I just wanna leave. Just because I was not playing kosher I was also not insubordinate and WAS performing my job.

She rectified the situation by acknowledging she should not have put me on the spot and should have considered my point of view as well. So I am leaving very kosher. I think some of it was she is still a manager in training. And a clash of Fe & Ti. I bet after she goes thru a few shitty unreliable employees she will feel different about NF work department ideals. And well I did demote myself to take that job taking 3 steps back to be under a manager in training is humbling. She's cool tho. She was a causality in learning her job and me in being under her learning her job not having great use of Fe lol. Learning experience.

9. Do you idealise others?
Haha
I actually like NFJs quite a bit the boss I just bitched about and my sis are closest to awesome but I NEVER wanna work that close like same department under again. I would work along side co department and I bet it would be complimentary. I do better under people who value productivity and efficiency. I bet we would make great collaboration teams tho. I just think had she been in my shoes and I were her boss and I challenged her creative process everyday and lectured her on productive and efficient concepts (which I would never do) she would not have taken that in stride nearly as long as I took the opposition in stride.

10. Do you feel as respected or as responsible as others?
Temporarily circumstantial lol uh no but that's just at the moment
I took that job to focus on school. Long range in general when I am in more suited work positions yeah usually I am respected by subordinates, peers, and upper administrative levels. That was just not the best fit. But I learned recreational therapy I appreciate the value in some of the Fe she taught me too. I just cannot handle My tert Fe under scrutiny :laughing: .


All right-y, all done. Thanks for responding. I know it's long, but I'm just interested.
 

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1. What is your mbti (w/enneagram if possible) type?

I don't know. Its a toss up between ESFP and ENTJ. Also, to add to the mix, I am an ambivert. So there is that too.

2. Do You Have A Certain Way You'd Prefer To Be Perceived? (If no, skip to question 6)

Yes, I do. I'd like to be perceived in a non bad way.






*insert troll face here*
Quite honestly I go by the idea that what people say about me is none of my business. Of course it can be hard to follow at times, but that's what I like to try to stick to. It is one of the situations where ignorance can be bliss.

3. How Would You Like To Be Percieved vs How You Actually Are? (You Can Do Desired MBTI Type vs Real MBTI Type If This Is Easier)

I guess I'd like to be perceived as a fun, smart, adaptable individual (which I am as far as I can tell). How I am perceived varies between who is perceiving, but I do have a few common perceptions.

1. Funny energetic cool guy
2. Secretly wise old wizard but hides his wisdom (I like that one but I'm not sure how true that is XD (and I'm not old... e_e))
3. The quiet introvert who is willing to listen to all of your problems
4. The "smart one"

Number four is one that I received because I often listen more than I speak.
"Even a fool who keeps silent is considered wise." ~ King David

4. Why do you idealise the above traits/character mentioned in question 3?

People with these traits tend to have the most influence, and have an easier time probing for potential friends. You just be the life of the party, observe those around you, and then go seek out the interesting ones later. Plus it gives you a good opportunity to make a positive difference in people's lives. As far as I can tell this is me on my best days.

5.How do you feel when you do something that contradicts your idealised self?

Well, when I don't live up to what I feel is my full potential I look for where I fell short, learn from it, and move on. Of course, I do feel guilt and disappointment, but I don't wallow in self pity. I feel what I must and move on.

6.How consciously do you put in effort to be your idealised self?

I don't. I have much better things to focus on than being something I'm not. If I am being the best version of me that I can be then that is great, but if I am not then (more than likely) I have other issues to deal with.

7. Do/would you take it as an insult when you are described in a way you wish you weren't. This doesn't necessarily mean you react emotionally toward the person because they might not mean it in a bad way, but it does have that same effect?

I don't take it as an insult because it is true. That doesn't mean that I feel good about it (in fact I usually don't), but if it is true I try to keep a cool head so I can work on improving, and so I can keep myself from lashing out at them emotionally. Fortunately for me I have a pretty good poker face when I want to.

8. How do you face/become being told to change in an aspect of your personality by a person who holds a lot of meaning to you?

Outwardly I might tell them something like, "I will think about it." However, inwardly I am thinking, "Well screw you." There are over seven billion people in the world. I would much rather spend my time with someone who accepts me for who I am than change who I am to make a "friend" happy. Of course I'll still hang out with them (as long as we don't have a problem), but if they keep pressuring me to change then we have a problem and I'm going to slowly start removing them from my life.

9. Do you idealise others?

Unfortunately, yes. Then they don't live up to the idealized version of them and I get slightly disappointed. I've been getting better about that though. My worst habit is reverse idealizing people I don't like. I make them seem so much worse than they actually are in my head but in reality they aren't that bad.

10. Do you feel as respected or as responsible as others?

No, should I? I don't expect as much respect as Taylor Swift or a strong political leader, and I don't think I deserve (or want) as much respect as them ether. I find that the more respected you are the less of a person you are. Not literally of course, but people forget that you are a person and they forget to act like you are one. You ether become an idol, something to fear, or a tool to be bought/won over. I am much more content with people treating me like a fellow human being.

As for responsibility, that all depends on what I am responsible for. I can ether procrastinate until a week after the deadline, or I can finish everything a week in advance. So that all depends on what is being measured against whom.
 
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Ooooh sounds interesting. You're gonna have lots of analysis to get through :wink:

1. What is your mbti (w/enneagram if possible) type?
ENFP type 7w6

2. Do You Have A Certain Way You'd Prefer To Be Perceived? (If no, skip to question 6)
To be honest I'd just like to be perceived as a toned down version of myself. Maybe like an INFP?

3. How Would You Like To Be Percieved vs How You Actually Are? (You Can Do Desired MBTI Type vs Real MBTI Type If This Is Easier)
I can be pretty clumsy socially. I often speak before I think, and also I think I can just come across as too much sometimes. Like sometimes I'll be talking and I'll know that I've gone too far, but for some reason it doesn't stop me from talking :laughing: I'm not very good at listening and I get restless very quickly. I reckon if I was an introvert it would be easier to like, just sit and listen.

4. Why do you idealise the above traits/character mentioned in question 3?
I think you learn lots from other people from listening, and also the restlessness is just a really horrible feeling to have but I'm not sure how to get rid of that

5.How do you feel when you do something that contradicts your idealised self?
I dunno, I don't really think about it too much. I don't really reflect on my behaviour as much as I maybe should

6.How consciously do you put in effort to be your idealised self?
Not very much, I give into impulses very easily which just reinforces my restlessness, and as I've said I don't really think before I act.

7. Do/would you take it as an insult when you are described in a way you wish you weren't. This doesn't necessarily mean you react emotionally toward the person because they might not mean it in a bad way, but it does have that same effect?
Nah not at all, I'm really good at laughing at myself and I always make jokes about it. For instance with the restlessness, I always impulsively get on trains so I make fun of myself for it.

8. How do you face/become being told to change in an aspect of your personality by a person who holds a lot of meaning to you?
This hasn't really happened to me before. I guess I'd sort of think like, "who are they to tell me who I should be?", unless my behaviour was directly affecting them I think I'd just be really confused. And if it was upsetting them, or it was for a rational reason, e.g. "you should stop impulsively travelling because you've nearly maxed out your overdraft" (my current position whoops) then I'd probably say "yeah you're right" but then forget about it soon after

9. Do you idealise others?
I really like this question. I really like learning about people's flaws, and I've always been really into darker or more grungey looking places. I find mental illnesses and addictions really interesting. So I don't think that I idealise others in a conventional way, but I think I do have a habit of romanticising darker parts of others if that makes sense

10. Do you feel as respected or as responsible as others?
No, I think I'm too selfish to be responsible or respected
 

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1. What is your mbti (w/enneagram if possible) type?
Intp 5w4

2. Do You Have A Certain Way You'd Prefer To Be Perceived? (If no, skip to question 6)
Absolutely

3. How Would You Like To Be Percieved vs How You Actually Are? (You Can Do Desired MBTI Type vs Real MBTI Type If This Is Easier)
I wish to be seen as funny, smart, untouchable, gorgeous, clever especially, capable, skinny

4. Why do you idealise the above traits/character mentioned in question 3?
I do not expect others to be perfect but I expect myself to be, however far away I perceive myself to be
I do not want to be hurt. I wish to outsmart obstacles with the defense of my mind, and be happy. A small part of me believes I can only truly be happy if I am all of these things and more. It's tough to deal with, and irrational.

5.How do you feel when you do something that contradicts your idealised self?
Angry, hopeless, identity-less. I may sink into an extreme depression and decadence where I completely abandon all ideals and become guiltier and guiltier and indulge myself in pity. It's not cool

6.How consciously do you put in effort to be your idealised self?
Almost constantly

7. Do/would you take it as an insult when you are described in a way you wish you weren't. This doesn't necessarily mean you react emotionally toward the person because they might not mean it in a bad way, but it does have that same effect?
I am obviously surprised and disappointed and turn on myself, ruminate on the scenario for days. None of this is evident to others to the best of my knowledge and abilities

8. How do you face/become being told to change in an aspect of your personality by a person who holds a lot of meaning to you?
Ignore them if I like the trait, laugh about it. If I don't, well...

9. Do you idealise others?
Yes, but not as I do myself. People are archetypes to me, but I analyze their traits but accept most if not all

10. Do you feel as respected or as responsible as others?
I don't feel irresponsible, I am irresponsible. As for respect, my peers respect me but I suspect this is because they don't know what to make of me.

Side note: I find it helps if I go do something completely outside of the range of 'idealized' activities (activities I wish my ideal self could do well) and block out all thoughts of myself and how it should be and what's actually going on, focusing on the primary goal of enjoying myself. I like skateboarding for this; I do not expect myself to get good and so it is fun.

Idealisation can sometimes be a coping mechanism and it is currently one of the most prevalent problems in my life. Introversion and extreme Ne probably exacerbate it. It is often hard to enjoy your life when you are so disappointed and guilty all the time, if only you could be a bit better and just do this one thing your life might turn around...in extreme cases like mine self idealisiation isn't fun. I'm here for all my people who struggle with this, I feel you.
 
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1. What is your mbti (w/enneagram if possible) type?
- ISTP, type 7w? ?w? ?w?, so/sp.

2. Do You Have A Certain Way You'd Prefer To Be Perceived? (If no, skip to question 6)
- No.

6.How consciously do you put in effort to be your idealised self?
- None.

7. Do/would you take it as an insult when you are described in a way you wish you weren't. This doesn't necessarily mean you react emotionally toward the person because they might not mean it in a bad way, but it does have that same effect?
- I get curious.

8. How do you face/become being told to change in an aspect of your personality by a person who holds a lot of meaning to you?
- If the person fail to be specific I certainly won't know what's "wrong".

9. Do you idealise others?
- It happens. Idealisation disappears when I see I was wrong.

10. Do you feel as respected or as responsible as others?
- Depends on context. I will answer "yes" and "no".
 
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I know what you're thinking- what!? This experiment is likely only to apply to NFs or ESFXs and even then, probably only really fits type 4s...possibly 2s! Okay so maybe some of you aren't thinking that. But to be honest, this experiment, I'm hoping to dig a little deeper. Everyone has an idealised way of seeing themselves. But how might this be different from NTs to NFs from NFs to SFs from SFs to STs so forth. Maybe for some types this might not even be an issue. Let's see how they differ and maybe it can help people type themselves in future by seeing which they relate to.


Okay, so I don't want to state a hypotheses only out of not wanting the answers to be swayed in any shape or form but if this post gets around 20 replies, I will state what the hypotheses was. Actually, nah I'll just say it. It's not that exciting..Actually no, I'll do it after. You guys will probably be able to guess where I'm coming from.



So here are my questions:


1. What is your mbti (w/enneagram if possible) type?

My MBTI for seven years, every time, came up INTJ; for the year (not "calendar" year), it most often comes out INTP (MBTI) or INTp (Socionics); sometimes, though not frequently, I tested INFP or INFJ (two times each, perhaps?) and otherwise, I considered those types based on reading Riso and Hudson and taking their test online as well as in one of the enneagram books.

My Enneagram comes out 5w4; 6w5 or 4w5 with a side of 1. Never any other variation.


2. Do You Have A Certain Way You'd Prefer To Be Perceived? (If no, skip to question 6)

3. How Would You Like To Be Percieved vs How You Actually Are? (You Can Do Desired MBTI Type vs Real MBTI Type If This Is Easier)

4. Why do you idealise the above traits/character mentioned in question 3?

5.How do you feel when you do something that contradicts your idealised self?



6.How consciously do you put in effort to be your idealised self?




I tried a lot more when I was between the ages of, say, 8 and 13, but I had never heard of Personality Typing, so instead, I tried to be what my birth mother expected, rewarded, and didn't give me grief about: Christ-like "The Peacemaker" while repressing anything that went against what she made clear I "was" or "ought to be."

I am not religious, although I studied world religions, and for a long time had a conflict with trying to find some way to fit into a broad category "Christian" without an entity god, heaven, hell, Eternity and so on.

Now? If I have an idealized self, it's shifting so fast I can't catch to describe it in a post, that's for sure.



7. Do/would you take it as an insult when you are described in a way you wish you weren't. This doesn't necessarily mean you react emotionally toward the person because they might not mean it in a bad way, but it does have that same effect?



I have auto-immune and cervical/lumbar spine disease, plus a couple others, so the answer for this: Only when the pain and isolation gets to me; otherwise other than my husband's opinion--his getting my motivation wrong, or something else important to me, I don't much care as I don't know the persons, say, online who are misreading me and they don't know me.

It's some stranger's or acquaintance's opinion, and boy howdy, how they change from the same person, sometimes in the same day, so really?

Waste of energy; and if I am not in pain, it's mildly amusing or boring--depending on how the "mistake" is worded.



8. How do you face/become being told to change in an aspect of your personality by a person who holds a lot of meaning to you?



Again, it's only my husband whose opinion I value that much, so when he's asked this of me, it stings or worse as I cannot change some inherent part of my personality at the snap of "his" fingers, or anyone else's. I can only change slowly, if I desire it.

Aside from him, if the person desiring the change holds no real power to take away something essential such as shelter, clothing or food, I dismiss their wanting to change me as a control issue for that person to deal with, not me.



9. Do you idealise others?

I used to idealize a few persons--many authors; a few leaders such as, say, Margaret Sanger or Jesus of Nazareth. I've outgrown that. I can't think of anyone I idealize, or anyone that I have...

OK, Kris Kristofferson would be the most reason, but with him too, I placed him where he belongs: In the human category, Human Situation, and therefore though I will grieve some when he leaves this world, it won't be the passing of an idol.



10. Do you feel as respected or as responsible as others?


This is, perhaps, a bit too broad: What others? All people, including serious criminals have their admirers and such. I can't possibly quantify whether I am respected more or less; or responsible more or less than... You gave no comparison I could conceive in order to answer this one, i.e. too broad.

The best I can do is do a "Personal Best," and say that many persons have and do respect me; and as for being responsible, I have a long way to go in order to satisfy my definition of that term in regards to my capacities... and my failures to use them skillfully.




All right-y, all done. Thanks for responding. I know it's long, but I'm just interested.



I'm glad I ran across the thread.



 
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