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If you could put your experience as a four in a metaphor, how would you describe it?
Could be the whole experience or just a certain aspect of a four.

I've got a metaphor for trying to figure out who I am:

-You wake up in a building with no way out and someone asks you to draw a picture of the building you're in.
You keep trying your hardest but you can only look at it from up close and from the inside. You make lots of drawings and maps and blueprints of all you can find out about the place you're running around in but you never get a clear simple picture of it.
 

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The way I experience life inside myself is as numerous swirling colors, moving through space over varying trajectories. When something happens, either inside or outside myself, it disturbs some of the colors from their trajectories, and I examine the disturbance to understand what happened--a process which itself causes further disturbance in the trajectories of many of the swirling colors.

But when it comes to communication with other people, I'm forced to used a set of simple shapes (square, triangle, circle) which are limited to the colors of black, white, and gray, and must be arranged in lines on a two-dimensional area. My only way of evaluating the effectiveness of my communication is via the arrangements of shapes that I receive in return. Because that feedback is so utterly lacking any amount of the nuance needed to understand the response, I depend heavily on the tone and body language of the other person for clues to help refine my understanding.

My life has been a series of experiments, sending out two-dimensional messages, receiving messages in return, and trying to reconstruct swirling colors in space from the combination of the message with the tone and body language. Most of my communications seem to be ineffective, inasmuch as it appears, based on the return messages that I've received, that I have not translated the swirling colors from inside me into meaningful two-dimensional shapes.

When I have appeared to succeed to some degree, I store the two-dimensional message transfer in a library, so that I can try the same (or similar) message constructs in the future, in order to have more successful interactions with others. Unfortunately, many of the message constructs aren't entirely transferable between people, or even with the same person at different times, and with some people, the message constructs I have in my library don't work at all. So even with the substantial library of message constructs I've accumulated, I'm still forced to constantly go back to performing the basic experiments in order to communicate.

And no matter how much I succeed at encoding my swirling colors into the two-dimensional shape messages, I'm never truly sharing the swirling colors, where all the beauty and meaning lies.
 
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