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INFJ 6w5, 1w2, 2w1 Sx/Sp
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Discussion Starter #1
How frequently would you say you feel anxious/vulnerable after you've shared a lot about yourself with someone (while not under the influence)? Do you usually feel confident/happy about it in the moment only to find that some time afterward (the next day or otherwise) just kind of over exposed and embarrassed? Like why did I say that? Or do you more frequently feel confident in what you've shared the majority of the time - where it doesn't affect you too much to have shared a lot in a moment (you have said what you have said and you embrace it)?
 

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I hardly ever feel anxious/vulnerable after telling people crap about myself. I'm an open book. If people want to know I'll tell them. If not I keep it to myself. I remain confident/happy because I know in that moment I took off the social "mask" we all hide behind and offered a real conversations with masks off. Not everyone wants that. I rather someone not bullshit me so I'll put myself out there if needed with little to no regrets. Besides me just being awesome if I'm being 100% honest most people don't care.

You expose yourself and feel embarrassed and the person you told has, 9 times out of 10, already moved on to something new. Not like they are just going through their lives thinking about all the "vulnerable" information you gave them. I mean yeah maybe a select few but everyone else? They are on their phone (or thinking about being on their phone) while you are giving your life story.

None the less interesting concept. If you would have caught me in high school I would relate more but with my new "whatever happens, happens" philosophy it doesn't apply to me as much.
 

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Not me. I love talking about myself and it energizes me. If I make a connection with someone, it puts me in a bit of a feeling similar to a high .. but a positive high. I want to make that connection over and over again because I enjoy it every time. Regret ONLY happens when I discover that the person I've shared with was a) not genuinely interested in me and b) didn't value what I shared with them and c) talked to me for a while and then just simply disappeared.

Once I feel regret, then I clam up. It's almost impossible for me to feel anything but indifference. I mean, sure I hold on to a little bit of resentment, but I can still be nice and cordial ... But I won't share anything personal again.

I suppose then in a way what you're saying does apply - but in a different way. Sharing itself does not make me feel vulnerable and exposed. The person not caring about it does - if you know what I mean. It feels like they hold a part of me but that it isn't worth anything at all. It bothers me. Feeds into negative feelings of valuelessness and unimportance. Which then of course have to be countered and they're countered with closing up in the future and pretending that that person no longer even exists. They have something of mine, but it no longer matters because that person is no longer in my life so I no longer have to feel vulnerable.
 

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I don't mind sharing most things about myself—I'm an open book. There's not much that I could share about myself that would embarrass me—I'm just unapologetically myself. If people don't like me, oh well, at least I know (though I do want to be well-liked).

I'd get more embarrassed if personal stuff about me was shared by someone else—I like to be the one to share things, even if it's stuff I don't mind being public knowledge.


But I'm a pretty silly guy sometimes, so I'm not easily embarrassed.

If I decide I want to share something, I'm usually ready to share that and don't regret it. Things I might regret sharing, I simply don't share.
 
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