[Staryu]

Hey everyone
So I've been more than a little confused lately..as to whether im an introvert or extrovert with avoidant issues.
The thing is, I LIKE being constantly on the go and the sense of purpose it gives. I always feel like I have to be doing something..whether it's taking in a performance, hosting a party/event, going on thrill rides, learning stuff, getting work done(yes, I procrastinate sometimes, but that's when I'm tired). I think I'm more expressive than your average introvert..I used to post constant FB status updates when I had FB and do that all the time on twitter(well whenever I have something to say). I can be extremely wild, crazy, and in your face with friends, but with strangers or parents, or even just coworkers, it's tough. They know I'm flamboyant, but not loud. Just a quiet sort of flamboyant..
I LIVE for thrill-seeking and can totally feed off adrenaline. I enjoy big cities and the "rush" atmosphere..as long as I get some "peace-time" at the end of the day, but once I do, I'm ready to go at it again. I read that introverts get energy from being alone, extroverts with people. But I'm really not sure..what I meant by "peace-time" is just relaxing by myself or with one other person..as long as it's quiet. I need the "peace-time" otherwise I'm tired. I love amusement park rides, being spontaneous and impulsive, and doing things on the spur of the moment. If it helps, I'm enneatype 5w4. I'm pretty assertive and have no problem expressing my opinions, and I can *sometimes* go up to talk to strangers( this RARELY happens, most of the time I'm too shy.) I hate parties and the loudness that comes with them..I'd rather have something like a party but without the loud noisy music and people vomiting everywhere(how the heck is that fun?!) I'm a private person and find it difficult to trust people..it's always been that way. But I'm all for being energized. I like to tease..I hate attention though. ABSOLUTELY hate it. It makes me nervous and scared, and I find myself afraid of people sometimes.
As much as I hate to party dorm-room style, I'm all for your more sophisticated type of parties..such as cocktail or tea parties. I enjoy hosting those.
I often wish I was this social lady with lots of confidence and candor.
So..if any more info is required, I'll post up more. I hope this is good enough.

 

[Angel1412kaitou]

You sound a bit introverted to me...Cognitive functions test?
A lot of I's enjoy social gatherings, they're just drained by it.
Sorry about the lack of insight. :sad:

 

[Staryu]

You sound a bit introverted to me...Cognitive functions test?
A lot of I's enjoy social gatherings, they're just drained by it.
Sorry about the lack of insight. :sad:

cognitive functions test keeps giving me INTJ. but they ask questions like "are you often loud and expressive" or "do you make friends easily"..well I can, but only up to a point. If I could though, I would.
er..I'm not sure whether I enjoy social gatherings..it depends on the people..

 

[lirulin]

Introverts can enjoy social gatherings, but will still be tired out no matter how much they like the people. My friends are extremely tiring, for example - but I still like them and spend time with them. I just have to schedule recovery days, take breaks from them, and avoid doing too much if a big event is coming up. I think with extraverts it is a lot mroo dependent upon the gathering - they will be energised by good conversation and fun interaction, but worn out by boring, inefficient, unpleasant, conflict-ridden, whatever they hate types of gatherings. NTs in particular seem rather picky, given the nature of standard social interaction. When in doubt, it's often extravert...

 

[Staryu]

Introverts can enjoy social gatherings, but will still be tired out no matter how much they like the people. My friends are extremely tiring, for example - but I still like them and spend time with them. I just have to schedule recovery days, take breaks from them, and avoid doing too much if a big event is coming up. I think with extraverts it is a lot mroo dependent upon the gathering - they will be energised by good conversation and fun interaction, but worn out by boring, inefficient, unpleasant, conflict-ridden, whatever they hate types of gatherings. NTs in particular seem rather picky, given the nature of standard social interaction. When in doubt, it's often extravert...

ic. for me, if i genuinely like the people or we're just friends that connect at a deep level, then nope, im not tired. that's rare though, so i usually just dont bother being social. it's not that i think im better or anything, i just don't enjoy it.
i like to be where the action is..does this make me an extrovert?
i think i am what you described..as being energised by good conversation and fun interaction..when people talk non-stop though i tend to zone out. and i absolutely hate small talk(how are you? i am fine. it's not like i can say anything else..) and talking about people's relationships and gossip and things. id rather talk about anything BUT "people talk." i don't care who is doing what or how hot whoever's dress looked on them.
im still tho..bc i am pretty introspective and like to take in stuff..but on occasion ill participate too...

 

[Liontiger]

It is very possible to be a shy or quiet extravert, as I'm one myself at times. You crave meaningful interaction, not just any old interaction. Many NTs and NFs share this attitude. Even extraverts have their limits, though. We need alone time just as introverts do, but we do it more to reflect than to recharge our batteries. Once we have sorted ourselves out internally, we can go back outside and play. An introvert, if I'm not mistaken, will occasionally "venture outside" before returning to their natural place within themselves. Those with dominant Ne, ENTP and ENFP, sometimes throw this generalization out of whack. It is possible to satisfy Ne all by oneself, so many ENxPs can appear introverted. Personally, I spend massive amounts of time reflecting, but I need social interaction to ground me and keep me sane. I had some social phobias as a young teen that kept me from interacting with people the way I needed to, and I was unstable because of it. Do you feel that you have the urge to interact more with people, but there's something keeping you from doing so? (It also says "SAD issues" in your thread title. Does this affect you? I myself have annual bouts of mild depression in the summer.)

When you read the INTJ descriptions, do they really resonate with you? I don't really know you, but you don't give me an INTJ vibe. Tests are not the end-all-be-all of typing, and can only effectively serve as a starting point. Perhaps you could focus on learning more about each of the types and seeing which ones you relate to the most. The more knowledge you have of the system, the clearer things will become. Our forum has a lot of great resources, so you don't have to look far.

 

[lirulin]

ic. for me, if i genuinely like the people or we're just friends that connect at a deep level, then nope, im not tired. that's rare though, so i usually just dont bother being social. it's not that i think im better or anything, i just don't enjoy it.
i like to be where the action is..does this make me an extrovert?
i think i am what you described..as being energised by good conversation and fun interaction..when people talk non-stop though i tend to zone out. and i absolutely hate small talk(how are you? i am fine. it's not like i can say anything else..) and talking about people's relationships and gossip and things. id rather talk about anything BUT "people talk." i don't care who is doing what or how hot whoever's dress looked on them.
im still tho..bc i am pretty introspective and like to take in stuff..but on occasion ill participate too...

You sound more extravert - not just because you want to be where the action is, but because you think that where the action is is outside your head and not inside. I love to be where the action is - inside my head. Outside is less action, less stimulating, less of everything pretty much.

Hating small talk is more an NT thing than it is an introvert thing. There are introverts who like small talk - just less of it than an extravert. N can pass as introspection without being the same sort of internal focus that an I would have.

It sounds more like you just genuinely dislike most people - but, although many introverts share that distaste, so do a lot of NTs who are extraverts. An introvert doesn't need dislike, a shitty conversation, anything negative to shy away from interaction, especially past a certain point.

Check out the cognitive functions again - that may help.

 

[Staryu]

It is very possible to be a shy or quiet extravert, as I'm one myself at times. You crave meaningful interaction, not just any old interaction. Many NTs and NFs share this attitude. Even extraverts have their limits, though. We need alone time just as introverts do, but we do it more to reflect than to recharge our batteries. Once we have sorted ourselves out internally, we can go back outside and play. An introvert, if I'm not mistaken, will occasionally "venture outside" before returning to their natural place within themselves. Those with dominant Ne, ENTP and ENFP, sometimes throw this generalization out of whack. It is possible to satisfy Ne all by oneself, so many ENxPs can appear introverted. Personally, I spend massive amounts of time reflecting, but I need social interaction to ground me and keep me sane. I had some social phobias as a young teen that kept me from interacting with people the way I needed to, and I was unstable because of it. Do you feel that you have the urge to interact more with people, but there's something keeping you from doing so? (It also says "SAD issues" in your thread title. Does this affect you? I myself have annual bouts of mild depression in the summer.)

When you read the INTJ descriptions, do they really resonate with you? I don't really know you, but you don't give me an INTJ vibe. Tests are not the end-all-be-all of typing, and can only effectively serve as a starting point. Perhaps you could focus on learning more about each of the types and seeing which ones you relate to the most. The more knowledge you have of the system, the clearer things will become. Our forum has a lot of great resources, so you don't have to look far.

well my alone time is used to reflect and be at peace..that's why i call it peace time. the part about venturing outside myself is confusing..well i do have an internal world and stuff..oh goodness, this is getting even more confusing..
i don't need social interaction to keep me sane and can do perfectly fine without it. i never understood my roommate and mother lecturing me to have more friends and be more social..im fine by myself and i don't NEED people, i just *sometimes* enjoy being with them(highly dependent on who it is). oh what i meant by SAD is social anxiety disorder..and yeah, ive definitely felt that way..that i want to be out there but just can't. so i spose i made do with what i had and figured i was an introvert.
as for the INTJ descriptions resonating with me..well a lot of it does but i like art and being expressive, spontaneous and flamboyant a bit more than your average INTJ(i thought this had to do with being a 5w4, THAT was freakishly spot-on)..the rest was pretty spot-on, including the weaknesses and the way i think. i figured there would be some variance in it though. the only letters im absolutely certain about at this time is the NT.im a weak J and E vs I..this is what im questioning at the moment.

 

[Staryu]

You sound more extravert - not just because you want to be where the action is, but because you think that where the action is is outside your head and not inside. I love to be where the action is - inside my head. Outside is less action, less stimulating, less of everything pretty much.

Hating small talk is more an NT thing than it is an introvert thing. There are introverts who like small talk - just less of it than an extravert. N can pass as introspection without being the same sort of internal focus that an I would have.

It sounds more like you just genuinely dislike most people - but, although many introverts share that distaste, so do a lot of NTs who are extraverts. An introvert doesn't need dislike, a shitty conversation, anything negative to shy away from interaction, especially past a certain point.

Check out the cognitive functions again - that may help.

well i like both. i like to be wear the action is but i also like to daydream. they both have action, but adrenaline rush/thrill seeking ill take any day over spending a day alone. but when making decisions, i absolutely have to plan everything out and i tend to make lots of lists. i also enjoy categorizing things. as for the J part, people have said im "intense" which is a vibe Js give off..right?
and the part about not being interested in people that much..kind of describes me. they talk too much, ask too many questions, and care too much about superficiality and being "normal". on the positive side, people can be awesome too. they can be helpful, insightful, and many other things too.

 

[lirulin]

What about ENTJ? It's not too far off. Te Ni Se Fi - same functions as an INTJ, just a different order.

If there is shyness, it does make a huge difference in how you act. My sister is ENFJ but I am far more outspoken and talkative than she is, because she is shy and I'm not and these days I even have more and bigger friends groups (which is so tiring....). SAD could tone down the behaviours, but the cognitive structure would be the same - most of the tests are more about behaviours, so they are not perfect. Also, the more dependent your socialising is on outside forces, the more likely it is an E. Just as introverts can still enjoy socialising, however much it requires energy exertion, extraverts can enjoy daydreaming and being alone - especially if they don't like the company that surrounds them.

 

[Staryu]

What about ENTJ? It's not too far off. Te Ni Se Fi - same functions as an INTJ, just a different order.

If there is shyness, it does make a huge difference in how you act. My sister is ENFJ but I am far more outspoken and talkative than she is, because she is shy and I'm not and these days I even have more and bigger friends groups (which is so tiring....). SAD could tone down the behaviours, but the cognitive structure would be the same - most of the tests are more about behaviours, so they are not perfect. Also, the more dependent your socialising is on outside forces, the more likely it is an E. Just as introverts can still enjoy socialising, however much it requires energy exertion, extraverts can enjoy daydreaming and being alone - especially if they don't like the company that surrounds them.

entj does seem like a possibility.ii would enjoy being in charge of an organization or running the country because i have a definite idea of how things should be..i also did well in management and organizational studies when i took the course..it felt like i was learning things i already knew. i do remember watching a movie with a definite ENTJ lady running things and being dictatorial..and going "damn, she's so badass, i wish i was bold enough to do that."
the more dependent my socialising is on outside forces...i don't get this statement..
btw does anyone have a good cognitive functions test. the one i took wasn't good enough.

 

[lirulin]

entj does seem like a possibility.ii would enjoy being in charge of an organization or running the country because i have a definite idea of how things should be..i also did well in management and organizational studies when i took the course..it felt like i was learning things i already knew.
the more dependent my socialising is on outside forces...i don't get this statement..
btw does anyone have a good cognitive functions test. the one i took wasn't good enough.

yeah, that could be more ENTJ.

Dependent on outside...like introverts treat all socialising, on some level, as a chore/energy expenditure - it is a chore worth doing with good people but the basic turning against socialising is unchanged by the identity of the people or conversation topic. Extraverts seem to have their enjoyment more dependent on the people & the conversation topic, etc. Any introvert can prefer a certain group, hate small talk, etc., but none of this is the reason we aren't big into socialising - it may justify an already existing tendency, or enhance it, contribute but it is not the main centre of introversion or the basic point. Is that clearer?

Sorry, I don't have a test - I find reading the descriptions works better for me anyways.

 

[Staryu]

yeah, that could be more ENTJ.

Dependent on outside...like introverts treat all socialising, on some level, as a chore/energy expenditure - it is a chore worth doing with good people but the basic turning against socialising is unchanged by the identity of the people or conversation topic. Extraverts seem to have their enjoyment more dependent on the people & the conversation topic, etc. Any introvert can prefer a certain group, hate small talk, etc., but none of this is the reason we aren't big into socialising - it may justify an already existing tendency, or enhance it, contribute but it is not the main centre of introversion or the basic point. Is that clearer?

Sorry, I don't have a test - I find reading the descriptions works better for me anyways.

the problem with statements like "introverts treat socializing as a chore" is that these things are really misleading. it works both ways for me. most of the time it is a chore...
i once remember asking my mom, this was WAY before i had SAD issues, when i was about 10 or so "mom why do i have to go play with other kids and greet everyone who comes home?" and her reply was that "well if you don't it will make you mentally ill and it's mean." to this day, she still reminds me of that and lectures me on the importance of being friendly etc..i hate it and being "friendly" feels FAKE. i like to discuss ideas, but id be fine if i didn't have any friends.
i see..the statement "Any introvert can prefer a certain group, hate small talk, etc., but none of this is the reason we aren't big into socialising - it may justify an already existing tendency, or enhance it, contribute but it is not the main centre of introversion or the basic point." makes somewhat sense..since introverts do not really like self-disclosure. i don't, because i don't really trust people.

 

[lirulin]

the problem with statements like "introverts treat socializing as a chore" is that these things are really misleading. it works both ways for me. most of the time it is a chore...
i once remember asking my mom, this was WAY before i had SAD issues, when i was about 10 or so "mom why do i have to go play with other kids and greet everyone who comes home?" and her reply was that "well if you don't it will make you mentally ill and it's mean." to this day, she still reminds me of that and lectures me on the importance of being friendly etc..i hate it and being "friendly" feels FAKE. i like to discuss ideas, but id be fine if i didn't have any friends.
i see..the statement "Any introvert can prefer a certain group, hate small talk, etc., but none of this is the reason we aren't big into socialising - it may justify an already existing tendency, or enhance it, contribute but it is not the main centre of introversion or the basic point." makes somewhat sense..since introverts do not really like self-disclosure. i don't, because i don't really trust people.

But is it a chore because it is socialising, or because it's fake and obnoxious? Is only the socialising that you dislike a chore? Spending time with my best friend and enjoying myself is still a chore to me - it's just one worth doing. And then I go nap/avoid people because I am worn out. Though she is less tiring than many, jerks are extra tiring, I stil am losing, not gaining energy when I am with anyone I like or love.
Your mother sounds....interesting...

 

[Staryu]

But is it a chore because it is socialising, or because it's fake and obnoxious? Is only the socialising that you dislike a chore? Spending time with my best friend and enjoying myself is still a chore to me - it's just one worth doing. And then I go nap/avoid people because I am worn out. Though she is less tiring than many, jerks are extra tiring, I stil am losing, not gaining energy when I am with anyone I like or love.
Your mother sounds....interesting...

it's difficult to pinpoint whether "it is a chore because it is socialising." but for me the annoyance with it is that it's fake..and probably obnoxious too. hmm..im the opposite. if my best friend is going on and on about something i could care less about, then yes, it is a chore. otherwise, certainly not. as long as they don't try to fill up every single moment with conversation, im fine. if they talk non-stop, im tired. my mom is an extreme extravert.

 

[Knives]

I hate to be a mood killer, but there is more to ENTJs than the stereotypical running an organization or a country confused. I would be careful about typing people in movies and trying to relate to that, since I am pretty sure, a certain scientist once said that typing people on such a superficial basis was little more than a parlour trick.

To be helpful, I think that it is natural for introverts to envy some of the qualities of extraverts and vice versa. Especially a rational introvert, who can see the benefits of being an e. Making friends easily and such are also counterbalanced by negative traits such as being perceived as intimidating and controlling (i.e. you guys all want to take over a country...).

but id be fine if i didn't have any friends.

I think you have your own answer in statements like this. :wink:

 

[Staryu]

I hate to be a mood killer, but there is more to ENTJs than the stereotypical running an organization or a country confused. I would be careful about typing people in movies and trying to relate to that, since I am pretty sure, a certain scientist once said that typing people on such a superficial basis was little more than a parlour trick.

To be helpful, I think that it is natural for introverts to envy some of the qualities of extraverts and vice versa. Especially a rational introvert, who can see the benefits of being an e. Making friends easily and such are also counterbalanced by negative traits such as being perceived as intimidating and controlling (i.e. you guys all want to take over a country...).



I think you have your own answer in statements like this. :wink:

true, my apologies for being superficial. i think ive got it cleared up now..yesterday i was discussing the possibility of me being an extravert with one of my friends and he said: so where does most of your energy come from? is it from inside or from outside yourself? my answer: inside. the times ive been most energized is when i felt like that, not from something i did.
what you said makes a lot of sense, there are benefits to both.

 

[lirulin]

I really don't envy being an extravert...

 

[Everyday Ghoul]

Well, for what help it may offer, your cognitive function test results, in your signature, indicate a higher likelihood of you being a Thinker. ENTJ's are Thinkers and INTJ's are Intuitives. Ethical functions are usually accountable for a higher draw to social interaction, through emotional bonding. Te doms usually view social interaction and people as a means to an end. There is nothing in the nature of Te, outside of this logical view, that drives a need for social interaction. This is not to say, that Te doms cannot emotionally bond to others or that they don't value anyone for any other reasons, but these relationships are probably kept to family and a few close friends.

 

[Staryu]

Well, for what help it may offer, your cognitive function test results, in your signature, indicate a higher likelihood of you being a Thinker. ENTJ's are Thinkers and INTJ's are Intuitives. Ethical functions are usually accountable for a higher draw to social interaction, through emotional bonding. Te doms usually view social interaction and people as a means to an end. There is nothing in the nature of Te, outside of this logical view, that drives a need for social interaction. This is not to say, that Te doms cannot emotionally bond to others or that they don't value anyone for any other reasons, but these relationships are probably kept to family and a few close friends.

i see. well the test i took wasn't entirely accurate but you may be right. what are ethical functions?
well im not sure..i DO enjoy connecting emotionally and stuff and don't think of them as means to an end..well not consciously anyway but it's really hard for me to feel safe enough to let it happen. when it does though, it's fabulous.