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Sorry to resurrect such an old thread, but I understand what you're going through. My sister has anxiety disorder, and it's really bad. She falsely believes she's an introvert, even though she goes out a whole lot more than I do, and spends more time with people than I do. Even her cognitive functions SCREAM Ne-Ti-Fe-Si! Perhaps she'll figure it out soon, but I'm very glad you figured this out. So many people believe social anxiety=introversion, which is not true at all.
 

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It's kind of a weird paradox isn't it? I know introverts who have a ton of friends - but I do notice that in the thick of all the crazy they sometimes go off and be on their own.

As an extrovert, I think it's funny that I don't think I have a lot of friends - yet whenever there are people about, I am the happiest. They energize me and give me life so to speak.
 

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I've always been an extrovert. when I was a child, I would act in plays and do an excelent work, I would be friends with everyone and everyone would find me really interesting. eventually I started showing some "abnormal" fears that would make me extremely anxious. when I was 13, I started developing a judgement for everyone and this made me lose all my friends. I also developed a fear of going outside home. I couldn't even go to school anymore because it would make me have panic attacks. I quit school and finished the schoolyear in my house. I tried to do my first highschool year at school, though. and I remember I would feel so lonely because no one would talk to me. I also remember the complicated relationship I had with my old classmates. when I actually quit school and never got back again (it's been almost four years now), none of my old classmates tied to talk to me. I eventually overcame my fear of going outside, though, with the help of my therapists. I have compulsive OCD, depersonalization and depression. I know I inherited some of if from my dad who's a schizophrenic, but my life certainly made me develop some of these conditions too. I tried to talk to some old classmates some months ago. I thought I could actually be friends with them again and everything would be good. that's when I get to the social phobia point. we would talk about hanging out together and I would cancel it at the last moment. I would also enjoy when we met, but afterwards I would feel that they didn't like me enough. that they needed to ADORE me and show me how I am important. I cut all my contacts with them. I wanted to avoid all the pain that they were making me feel. I thought of starting courses, but I eventually left all of them for the same reason I gave up on my old classmates. I wanted a type of attention that wasn't normal, I would feel that people judged me all the time and I would get very timid. these days ago I started going to this fitness academy because a girl invited me to go with her. it was good and I had big expectations on everything. I thought we would be great friends and that my life would definitely change. I was wrong because the same thing happened. I want to quit the fitness training because I want that girl to adore me and to think I am the best friend she could ever have. I know this isn't a normal kind of attention to want, but I really don't know what to do. I'm also not sure if this is social anxiety anymore. it's just so weird.
 

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Ever been the annoying kid that talks so much that everyone tells her she's horrible and ignores her for years? :/ Yeah... being a shy extrovert sucks colossal balls.
 

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I can relate as well. My social anxiety is mild-ish, but it's definitely there. I do consider myself more socially introverted, though I do have my moments of being energized during and after social events, but I'm far from the typical extrovert archetype.

It definitely sucks because I'd appreciate being much more calm in social situations but I'm not.
 

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Ever been the annoying kid that talks so much that everyone tells her she's horrible and ignores her for years? :/ Yeah... being a shy extrovert sucks colossal balls.
That was me till midway through highschool :L I was tolerated because I was moderately funny, but that was it.
 

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That was me till midway through highschool :L I was tolerated because I was moderately funny, but that was it.
Well, that's still cool. I couldn't even make eye contact until I was in university, whenever anyone managed to start a conversation with me I'd start telling them my life story and painfully awkward jokes that I didn't know were awkward, and any friends I had before they ditched me would be like this: The Perry Bible Fellowship or tolerate me before exploding with a diatribe about how self-centered and annoying I am. (Still can't shake off the I-statements, as you can see!)
 

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I used to have Social Anxiety like 10 years ago,
What I did to get over it was, force myself to go to soccer games, and football games, where there were thousands of people in the stadium, and I would sit there for the entire game, which was like 4 hours, being nervous, feeling embarrassed, and sweating.

I think after about 3 or 4 games, I finally started feeling comfortable being around people, and my Social Anxiety just went away.
 

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I used to have Social Anxiety like 10 years ago,
What I did to get over it was, force myself to go to soccer games, and football games, where there were thousands of people in the stadium, and I would sit there for the entire game, which was like 4 hours, being nervous, feeling embarrassed, and sweating.

I think after about 3 or 4 games, I finally started feeling comfortable being around people, and my Social Anxiety just went away.
How did you translate that into being comfortable in conversations and so on? My brother has it bad and he's very into football and basketball, involved even with fanclubs, ultras and so on, but nothing made him less anxious. (Not ENFP though, maybe it's irrelevant) Is there something else you did?
 

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How did you translate that into being comfortable in conversations and so on? My brother has it bad and he's very into football and basketball, involved even with fanclubs, ultras and so on, but nothing made him less anxious. (Not ENFP though, maybe it's irrelevant) Is there something else you did?
Now that you mention it,
I also used to not want to talk to anyone, because I was either too busy or was just disinterested,
When I would talk to my friend, I would feel physically exhausted after 5 minutes, and I would tell her, I felt tired, or was going to take a nap. (I think she knew I was hiding tho)
She would always say things like "You never want to talk to me" or "Why are you avoiding me?"

Anyways, I downloaded a To-Do List program, on my PC, where I would schedule "Talk to girls for 30 minutes" everyday,
I would meet them on dating sites, or chatrooms, or at work, etc.
and everyday I would just call up girls and just talk to them for 30 minutes, about anything, like asking about their day, etc, etc

For the first week that I was doing it, 5 minutes felt like an hour.
I would constantly look at the clock to see when my 30 minutes would be over, but I just stuck with it.
I think after about a month, It finally became normal for me, and I actually started enjoying my conversations, and was actually building relationships

And now 10 years later, I get bored when I don't have anyone to talk to

And also, He could try some 5HTP Supplements, it always puts me in a loving, relaxed mood.
It kind of feels like a very mild form of MDMA, and it's natural
 

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I struggled for a long time with the question of whether I was an introvert or extrovert. It wasn't until I discovered that shyness does not equal introversion that I began to suspect that I'm AN ENFP. In social situations, I always want to interact, and if the experience is positive, it energizes me. But something always holds me back from interacting with people I don't know or who I don't know well. I recently tested as having moderate social anxiety. I think it's time to take the bull by the horns and do something about it!
 

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Not to wake up this thread (and that too, as a non-ENFP), but I feel like I may be in this situation right now. I can definitely withdraw into my own world for periods of time, but I feel extremely sluggish, bored, and unfulfilled if I don't go out and surround myself with people.

However, I'm very socially awkward. I feel very intimidated when large groups of friends are talking amongst one another and don't know how to "penetrate" the circle. Even though I like being involved in conversation with others, I'm not one for icebreakers or small talk, which makes this difficult. I'm also intensely scared of social rejection, which I think contributes to it.

I have thought of myself as an introvert for as long as I can remember. But when other introverts talk about how they love to be alone, do things by myself, etc., I wonder if I appreciate those things only because there is no fear of being rejected. I'm beginning to think that deep down, there is an extrovert inside me. I love being the center of attention (unless it's for something embarrassing), I'm energized by busy city areas and nightlife, and I love bouncing ideas off of others.

Maybe I'm wrong, but I'm starting to think I've been an ENTJ all along...
 

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Is there a way to achieve the energising effect of social interaction, but without having to talk to anyone?
 

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It's about where you get energy, but aside from that...I used to have (and still occasionally do have) social anxiety (nowadays depending on the given situation and my confidence level at the time due to the circumstances/people involved that can alter my perspective of myself.) so...yeah, it's very possible to be an extrovert held back by fear, I was that way for years. Terribly insecure and self-condemning, in fact, before I used pride and arrogance combined with manipulation as a coping mechanism. Nowadays I'm free of all that garbage, and am confidently bold in my admitable weakness.
 

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I became completely scared of talking once middle school started and I didn't have class with anyone
I knew and the girls from my elementary school would find me in the halls and say things like "What happened to you... you used to be cool." That combined with all of my grandparents passing away around the same time period & therefore rarely seeing extended family, daycare & girl scouts ending, (and having no siblings/introverted parents) seems to have sealed my social anxiety. I wonder if having all of those things happen at the same time made me feel like I did something wrong and that's why I was alone?
Hey you're not alone bro. Not even lying I was bullied throughout my school life and I think in like middle school I shut down, I had just moved to a new middle school and didn't know anyone, and my best friend had left me, also my grandparent had died the week before school, so I did this really stupid thing because I just wanted to feel like myself again, because I use to not be afraid of what people thought of me. So i went around and introduced myself to everyone in lunch, and god bless i got called "special" until the end of 7th grade and that's when I just stopped talking. I refused to let anyone in, and this was so painfully because I use to be super extroverted, and in middle school I felt like I couldn't connect to people. I didn't want to, and I was doing okay until I lost a lot of my friend when I went back to highschool and they did the same thing they were like "lol you use to be cool what happen to you" , so I just have shut down, and I panic when I have to talk to people I don't feel natural comfort with or I don't know how they feel about me. I can't go to dinner, or like benefits because of this, and when people stop talking to me I get this nagging feeling that they don't wanna talk to me. I don't know if any of this is the same for you, but you aren't alone. I'm pretty sure I'm ENFP not only because of the dom Ne but the fact that I do love people, but I just have this wall standing between me and this people, but I just feeel like I can't talk or do anything and I don't want to be a slave to my past, but in some tenses it feel like I am.
 

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Im an extovert and with suffering from depression also comes social anxiety but its not as much of a big deal as it is more with my introvert (also suffering from the illness) friend. I think being socialable does emotionally drain me and after being with friends (big group or small) I feel the need for alone time or at least deal with one friend who understands this constand struggle. But as well as this draining of emotion I feel the need to go out and be with someone as the loneliness gets too much. Its a horrible arugment I have with myself daily.
 

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I used to think I was an introvert because of my social anxiety, too. I'm extremely extroverted, though. I have imaginary friends because I really hate being alone. I always want to talk to people. I love being the center of attention, but at the same time, it really scares me. I really hate being ignored, though, but I think that's typical for extroverts.
 
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