Personality Cafe banner
1 - 13 of 13 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,741 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
My brother, who is an isfp, is dating an enfp girl. Whenever the three of us are hanging out everyone feels comfortable. My brother and I, being definitely the big introverts, usually don't do most of the talking. I think we're content in a listening role and responding occasionally while the enfp dominates most of the conversation flow. However, when my brother invites his enfp guy best friend over while his enfp girlfriend is hanging with us, my brother has told me that his girlfriend feels uncomfortable when another extrovert joins the scene and I guess... steals the show in some sort. I never viewed it from that perspective because I have always been a more quiet type of person. But it's like she feels inferior when there is someone else there just as if not more extroverted than she is so perhaps she feels like she's competiting for a spotlight. I wish all of us could get along without feeling like talking is a contest. We're just hanging out; there are no brownie points and golden stars, but I suppose that's a little different if you're used to always being the one running the show like she usually does.

Do any extroverts, or more specifically enfp personalities, see this inferiority in their interaction with other extroverts with or without introverts in the mix? Thanks.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,365 Posts
I prefer to hang out with extroverts actually. I don't like to dominate the conversation at all times. I prefer other extroverts who are as mad as me. Preferably ENFXs xD But I'm a considerably shy ENFP...
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
638 Posts
Balance is key, Sometimes I want others to do the talking, and sometimes I wanna do the talking. I do find that I am overshadowed by the more colorful and flamboyant Extroverts, However I don't see them as being very genuine. I just don't like it when others are talking and I'm left out of the loop because one is a better Extrovert than me and the other is a better listener or introvert then me...
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
5,311 Posts
i like hanging out with introverts and extroverts. maybe spending time with your brother and you is the only time she gets with only introverts, as i know i tend to have mostly extroverted friends (simply because they are easier to meet and befriend), but there is a part of me which enjoys the company of introverts too, similarly because they are good listeners and i get the chance to talk a lot.

i'm not going to lie, ENFPs often like being the centre of attention, and often introverts give us that chance.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
518 Posts
It really just depends. :3 Many times I'm happy to have an extreme extrovert in my company, BECAUSE I'll be the one making most of the conversation if I'm hanging out with introverts - and although I don't mind talking, I love being the listener just as much! Not to mention, if the people I'm hanging around with are more on the shy side, sometimes I'll feel almost obligated to be the conversation starter... but if there's another outgoing person around with me, it's as if there's not as much pressure on me to start up the talking. ^^;;

I don't care whether or not I'm the "center of attention" - I just care about whether the group I'm interacting with is having a good time or not. :proud:
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,678 Posts
I am super jealous of extreme extroverts, but that doesn't necessarily stop me from wanting to be around them...at least not now. I am/was used to being the weird, quirky one in my group, but there's always someone a little stranger or more quirky, or just more social; it's inevitable , but in my immature days it used to affect me a lot more. :mellow:

I just base my friendship on who I have chemistry with, that includes introverts and extroverts, pretty evenly for the most part.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
9,785 Posts
I personally like switching between the two. I like to talk alot some days and other days I just want to sit back and listen, so I like having some extro's and some intro's! I don't ever feel like extro's are stealing the show though, maybe I just know ones that don't seem threatening to my position in the group?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
314 Posts
Basically what everyone else has been saying...

I do tend to become more introverted around extroverts and more extroverted around introverts. I dunno why...it's just what I feel the most comfortable doing. :tongue:
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
27 Posts
i found this a very strange post, but at the same time a very a very true one, for me anyways.

it actualy depends on my mood and my current level of self esteem. people who are very load, very extrovert kind of make me withdraw, and i have no idea why! maybe i feel threatened? but this is only around extremely confident people and extreme extroverts. i sort of freeze up and have nothing to say lol but with people who are on the same level of extrovert or less, i am the extrovert.

i think this might be a confidence thing for your friend, like she finds it easy to fake it with people who *seem* less confident (because although i find introverts to actualy have better self esteem than extroverts, you come access less confident) but with people who are confident, maybe it brings it home that infact, she is not confident.,....

hmmm...need to get my head in perspective!!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,199 Posts
I relate to this. I can hang out with either and each has its benefits. However, I do understand that feeling of being "left out" when other such extreme extroverts steal the spotlight. Not like I always want it. Balance is key. I like for interaction to be dynamic and stimulating; no one involved should feel detached by it. As long as we're comfortable it's good. I hate arrogance though. Extremely extroverted plus arrogant = yuck! I mean arrogance in general, yeah, but if you're quiet and arrogant, it's not so hard to ignore you. When you're loud and arrogant, all I want to do is kill you. Hahah.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
129 Posts
I typically don't mind hanging out with other extroverts at all. I don't really mind giving someone else the spotlight, especially if they're funny, however, there are a few extroverts that I've met who DO like to make it into a competition for who can steal the show, or, who's "better" at being extroverted, if that makes sense.

Whenever I encounter these people I do tend to withdraw from conversation because I feel uncomfortable.The last person who did this to me was and ESFP, and ESFP>ENFP in terms of being extroverted. It seemed like everything I said he felt the need to one up me and try to take back control of the conversation. I eventually got tired of it and withdrew from the conversation completely. I remember one time we went to a small concert at a bar and I got a little crazy and pushed my way up to the front row and aided in a crowd surfing effort. I had a great time, but you could tell that later that night he was angry with me, and kept trying to demean my actions, saying things like "It wasn't that big of a deal," "That was weird," "Did you even know that song?" (They were a relatively new band to me).

So, the point I'm trying to make is that while extroverts can have a great time together and shouldn't be uncomfortable around each other, there are some extroverts who do feel that it is a competition, and deliberately try to make it into a competition, which may make other extroverts feel uncomfortable. It's good to have multiple extroverts who can drive the conversation, but not compete for attention. I have awesome extroverted friends who I could sort of, combine efforts with and we would have some absolutely hilarious, or driven conversations.

Thanks for this post, Res. It's nice to know that introverts don't really give a shit, :wink:.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
5 Posts
You definitely need to mix up the company! I am most comfortable in the role as the interviewer with introverted types, because you get to learn so much about other people's perspectives and ways of thinking.

When i am in a group of extreme extroverts and a lot of egos (ie. Grad school), I can just zone out. I am happy to let everyone else compete for the spotlight....takes off a lot of the performance pressure and I most certainly do not like to be the center of attention

I feel most fufilled when I am able to engage people in conversation and faciliate new friendship formation amongst a group of people who do not know eachother well. I derive great satisfaction from getting people to get over themselves, their judgements, and biases.
 
1 - 13 of 13 Posts
This is an older thread, you may not receive a response, and could be reviving an old thread. Please consider creating a new thread.
Top