[Moose]

Hi all! I'm new at this forum, bear with me...
I'm an ENFP. Through and through.

My best friend is a male, who tells me he has been typed as an ENFP as well.
However...he has the most difficult time communicating verbally. He tells me regularly that he wishes he was better at saying what he is feeling. I know he has a lot on his mind and heart but he can't seem to figure out how to put that into words. It's a consistent problem.

He does have some ENFP characteristics (moody, emotional, well-liked) but also some INFJ characteristics (less spontaneous, incredibly artistic and creative, moody, can't verbalize feelings well).

Obviously, I could just have him take the test and see if he just "read it wrong." But is it possible that he is an ENFP and can't communicate verbally? Am I crazy for thinking he's absolutely not an E?
Verbal communication is one of my strongest suits so to me, this just doesn't add up.

 

[The King Of Dreams]

I'm an ENFP male and I don't think I communicate as well as I should. It's hard for me to get things out, especially if it was an idea or thought. It always sounds better in my mind and then when it comes time to verbalize it, it fails Welcome to the forums, though

 

[The Sundancer]

I had no idea moody was an ENFP characteristic.....

Anyway we are not really all the same so him acting like that might not make him any less of an ENFP. I am bad when it comes to communicating personal things. I wouldn't right him off yet just because he may have some different characteristics from the generalization of ENFPs.

INFJs are very different from ENFPs so that is a big mistype xD

I say that it could just be his enneagram type, his upbringing, his mental and emotional state, or just a personal thing but I am no expert so my input might be useless.

Also welcome! Stop by and have a chat with me sometime kay?

 

[Zerosum]

As ive heard countless times on this forum.. These tests are really only a start to finding out which type you relate! Id say Im not always an ENFP either, I dont always see the future as being a wonderful place.. I dont always want to meet new people and sometimes i prefer to stay on my own rather then go out with friends! verbally communicating isnt really that much of a crucial aspect of being an ENFP anyways i dont think.. Could be wrong lol (also ENFPs quite often are both Intro and Extro, so i think he probably is, sounds like he has a nice combination!)

Welcome by the way

 

[Moose]

Thank you! This is good to know.

 

[Moose]

Okay yeah I really don't know what I'm doing, I'm trying to comment back to each individually but I don't know how. Anyway, I appreciate all your insights.

I do know he is a 2 for sure (as am I.) All these similarities are teaching me how even people who are the same "types" can still look a lot different. Especially of the opposite sex.

I get way too caught up in analyzing MBTI when I'm trying to figure a person out. I need better resources

 

[Agelaius]

I certainly have trouble communicating as well. Granted, I like to talk... a lot, but the words I string together as I speak them... not always the best :/

 

[Blocklos]

Okay yeah I really don't know what I'm doing, I'm trying to comment back to each individually but I don't know how. Anyway, I appreciate all your insights.

I do know he is a 2 for sure (as am I.) All these similarities are teaching me how even people who are the same "types" can still look a lot different. Especially of the opposite sex.

I get way too caught up in analyzing MBTI when I'm trying to figure a person out. I need better resources

If you click on "Reply with quote" under the message you would like to reply to, it will refer them to the reply so that you can comment directly to the individual, and so that we know whose comment you are replying to.

 

[wildorchid]

Beginner, too, and loving this forum so far!

I don't think I communicate as well as I should. It's hard for me to get things out, especially if it was an idea or thought. It always sounds better in my mind and then when it comes time to verbalize it, it fails

That's pretty much it for me. Get asked a question, know the answer to it but can't quite verbalize it right... Ten minutes later the PERFECT answer pops into my head.

I think with me it's because (esp when I have to answer spontaneously) a whole range of different possible answers and combinations of answers pop into my head and I lose my specific train of thought and get sidetracked by "but then agains..." and the like.

Side note: I find I'm also better at talking about my feelings "analytically" (e.g. I think I'm feeling this way because...) as opposed to saying how I feel (e.g. I'm sad.).. Some sort of defense mech, perhaps?

 

[turnip]

As an ENFP, it's hard for me to verbally express what I'm feeling because most of the time it's ineffable. Unless I objectify my emotions (which only happens after I experience them), I cannot simply state that "I am sad" or "I'm feeling really connected to everything around me and right now it's really pushing me to my limit". In a moment of intense emotional depth, I can do nothing but watch and feel.

I usually write about my inner world in order to make sense of what's going on in there, in words. Some people would probably find my writing somewhat dramatic, if they don't understand the inner world as something serious or palpable. For me however, writing is the easiest way for me to detail every internal sensation, therefore communicate it. So maybe your friend finds it easier to communicate through a creative outlet? I definitely think he's more likely to be an ENFP. One thing I noticed about INFJs is that they don't naturally exude social warmth or feedback. It seems to exhaust them, and they need time to recharge by doing something that they really enjoy, alone. For example, after my INFJ friend spend a turbulent day with me, it was clear to me that she wanted nothing more than to retire to her bed and read. They also aren't too moody on the outside, while ENFPs visibly go from energized to tired in seconds.

I hope that helps! :--)

 

[wildorchid]

Totally agree with turnip.

I don't know about you guys, but I often feel things with great intensity as well, so verbalizing it often makes me feel very vulnerable, particularly in terms of negative emotions. Also, the complexity of the emotions and my mind's rushing to make sense of them make it hard to separate what I'm actually feeling and what I think I'm feeling.

Which is why I'm much better at writing things down than saying it aloud - writing allows me to work through the mass and see it more clearly, though like turnip said, it can get quite dramatic and sometimes seems like it's disproportionate to the situation, but completely reflects the "inner turmoil", so to speak.

Yea, so as far as I can tell the verbal communication of feelings isn't necessarily a central characteristic of an ENFP - could be quite the opposite, in some cases (e.g. your's truly! ). But as far as general communication goes, I still think we're pretty good!

 

[Adriana]

There are lots of things about INFJ's and INFP's I can relate to very well, and I can recognize some things of your description as well. My enneagram type is 4w5, definitely not 2:
"Healthy 4w5’s brings profound creativity and insights of the intrapsychic sort. Their emotions are more under-the-surface than 4w3’s, and more private modes of communication (such as writing) are preferred. They have intellectual as well as emotional insights and can often synthesize experiences into something intensely personal yet timeless."

He could be ENFP. On the other hand, something about this tells me Ni, meaning INFJ.

Here's a discussion about type 2 INFJs, it might be helpful: http://personalitycafe.com/type-2-forum-helper/20422-infj-2.html

 

[terryh]

I have trouble communicating sometimes... I'll take the person along a ride around my point because that's what it takes for me to understand it myself

 

[wildorchid]

I have trouble communicating sometimes... I'll take the person along a ride around my point because that's what it takes for me to understand it myself

This sounds VERY familiar...

 

[SilentKnight44750]

I had no idea moody was an ENFP characteristic.....

Anyway we are not really all the same so him acting like that might not make him any less of an ENFP. I am bad when it comes to communicating personal things. I wouldn't right him off yet just because he may have some different characteristics from the generalization of ENFPs.

INFJs are very different from ENFPs so that is a big mistype xD

I say that it could just be his enneagram type, his upbringing, his mental and emotional state, or just a personal thing but I am no expert so my input might be useless.

Also welcome! Stop by and have a chat with me sometime kay?

Agreed. If you find out why he has trouble with holding in his feelings, you'll get your answer. Maybe you should just write down qualities and traits you see while observing him for awhile. Then, compare it to mbti later and see how it stacks up.

 

[Moose]

HEY GUYS GUESS WHAT!

I got him to take the test
AND HE IS AN INFP AND NOW EVERYTHING MAKES SENSE!!!


Thanks for all of your help!

 

[chickydoda]

Definately a problem for some people regardless of time... sometimes I think I'm being perfectly clear, and people still don't understand... maybe their just a bit on the thick side?

 

[MuChApArAdOx]

Fi is an introverted function, an abstract function also. It would only make sense that we don't always have an easy time conveying our feelings. For me it can be difficult trying to explain things i can only see in form, has no real words. That combined with another abstract function being our DOM function Ne, trying to put our thoughts/feelings into words can be tiring and confusing at times. I don't express myself near as well in text as i do in person. I can't. My body language makes up a lot of what i'm communicating also, so its easier for those in my company to put things together using body language+verbal.

 

[Compassionate Misanthrope]

Beginner, too, and loving this forum so far!



That's pretty much it for me. Get asked a question, know the answer to it but can't quite verbalize it right... Ten minutes later the PERFECT answer pops into my head.

I think with me it's because (esp when I have to answer spontaneously) a whole range of different possible answers and combinations of answers pop into my head and I lose my specific train of thought and get sidetracked by "but then agains..." and the like.

Side note: I find I'm also better at talking about my feelings "analytically" (e.g. I think I'm feeling this way because...) as opposed to saying how I feel (e.g. I'm sad.).. Some sort of defense mech, perhaps?

That. ^^^

 

[Angua]

I always see it as Public me and Private me...

Public me is very communicative, talks all the time, is hyper most of the time, but you will not get many personal facts out of her... she may appear to be open, but that's a facade and all personal questions or remarks will be deflected by an immediate witte repartee...

Private me... is private. You will only get to know her if she really likes and trusts you... which does not happen often. She has even gotten into some serious problems by refusing to open up. She'd rather swallow knifes than ask for help, for instance.

So, in this roundabout manner we get to: Yes, I talk easily; No, I don't communicate easily at all.

And, interestingly, I find it much easier to write down my thoughts and feelings than to tell people about them. It probably has to do with the conflict avoiding bit again. I'll write you my problem, but not tell you face-to-face.