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Fading away as a break-up method

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Have you ever done this? How exactly did you go about it? Did it work as a way to avoid drama that would otherwise ensue?

If you could detail the way you faded out on the person successfully, that'd be great. Thanks..








EDIT --- Here's the situation:

Basically I'm fading away from a guy who I never got into an official relationship with. He never asked me to be his girl, and he just doesn't seem attached at all. It's a long distance thing, we live across the country, and have gone on vacations together 3 times, for weekends. Other than that, he barely texts, and we never talk on the phone or any of that.

Whenever we go on vacations, he flirts with every female with two legs, and is always bragging about how he gets hit on in his hometown. The only reason I've gone on more than 1 vacation with this dude is for the sake of going on vacation. I never took him seriously due to the aforementioned reasons.

But then a while back, I got into a serious relationship with someone in my hometown, and when I told this player dude (let's call him Matt), he went fucking bananas, accusing me of cheating (even though we were never even together...so wtf?) I got him to chill out and Matt and I were able to remain friends.

Then, I broke up with the hometown guy, and let Matt back in the picture again. But of course, I didn't take him seriously because he didn't seem to take me seriously, even after hashing out the supposed "misunderstandings". And now I've gotten into another serious relationship in my hometown, and Matt is bugging me to go on another vacation with him. So, I'm stalling and slowly ignoring him more and more.

I just don't want the drama of what happened last time. Matt could screw me over if he wanted to, due to circumstances I'd rather not get into. I'd rather just find a way for us to just drift apart.

(and no, calling it quits and then ignoring/blocking/getting a restraining order wouldn't prevent him from screwing me over)

The only way out of this BS unscathed is to just ease away from him until he forgets all about me.

I think I'm just going to lie and tell him I have family matters to attend to for some unspecified amount of time, and then just disappear for good.
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Precisely that.

Before you just fade away you need to really think about the potential consequences of your actions OP; what if this person starts to develop a fear of trusting people because you were essentially to lazy to treat them with respect?

Even if there would be "drama" at least write them a letter or something. Fading away is probably the worst way to handle things. Just say something, anything, for the other person's peace of mind.

I also agree fading away temporarily to think about things is fine. Everyone needs space to reevaluate.
Put yourself in their shoes. You think you're in at least decent standing with the person who you're in love with, and here they start acting super odd and distant. You ask whats going on and they brush it off, but you feel somethings up and you can't shake it. It causes anxiety, and destabilizes them. It can affect other areas of their life while its going on, and then when its all said and done, they walk away with trust issues from dealing with someone who screwed with their head this way.

If you need space temporarily, thats a whole different thing - and fine. But if you have actually decided its over, don't string them along and make them wonder what the heck is even going on. Don't underestimate the amount of anguish felt by someone who is put in that position.
Exactly, if you want the other person to move on, give them some closure. Nothing can spur on drama for longer by avoiding them.

I think for the sake of anyone in the position of giving the reason though you need to protect yourself from potential hiccups where the person refuses to accept it's over.

I usually use a three strike rule, "I've told you once, I've told you twice, I've told you three times and dealt with your drama. Now I will ignore you till I die because it's you that's harassing me and you that's being disrespectful."

I guess ultimately it's best to just treat this person with respect until they start being disrespectful, then you owe them nothing.
Yeah, I think unless someone really majorly wronged me by cheating or me or something horrific, I would give them enough respect to just deal with the drama. If they fucked up that terribad they know my ass is going to leave soon anyway..

But assuming its just "I'm not in love anymore/I'm not happy" I'd let them scream, cry, get it all out, and I'd tell them the truth, and hear them out, etc. Its messy as fuck but just slinking away like a coward doesn't give them closure.. and I mean hell, this is a person you once cared about enough to give them your heart. Its so sad to me, when I see someone just get off the infatuation ride and become completely callous to a person who was deeply emotionally invested.

Its hard to put things into perspective and move on, when you never get those answers.
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