Fading away as a break-up method

755 Views 50 Replies 21 Participants Last post by rosegeranium, Aug 7, 2013

dagnytaggart

Discussion Starter · Aug 1, 2013 (Edited)

Have you ever done this? How exactly did you go about it? Did it work as a way to avoid drama that would otherwise ensue?

If you could detail the way you faded out on the person successfully, that'd be great. Thanks..

EDIT --- Here's the situation:

Basically I'm fading away from a guy who I never got into an official relationship with. He never asked me to be his girl, and he just doesn't seem attached at all. It's a long distance thing, we live across the country, and have gone on vacations together 3 times, for weekends. Other than that, he barely texts, and we never talk on the phone or any of that.

Whenever we go on vacations, he flirts with every female with two legs, and is always bragging about how he gets hit on in his hometown. The only reason I've gone on more than 1 vacation with this dude is for the sake of going on vacation. I never took him seriously due to the aforementioned reasons.

But then a while back, I got into a serious relationship with someone in my hometown, and when I told this player dude (let's call him Matt), he went fucking bananas, accusing me of cheating (even though we were never even together...so wtf?) I got him to chill out and Matt and I were able to remain friends.

Then, I broke up with the hometown guy, and let Matt back in the picture again. But of course, I didn't take him seriously because he didn't seem to take me seriously, even after hashing out the supposed "misunderstandings". And now I've gotten into another serious relationship in my hometown, and Matt is bugging me to go on another vacation with him. So, I'm stalling and slowly ignoring him more and more.

I just don't want the drama of what happened last time. Matt could screw me over if he wanted to, due to circumstances I'd rather not get into. I'd rather just find a way for us to just drift apart.

(and no, calling it quits and then ignoring/blocking/getting a restraining order wouldn't prevent him from screwing me over)

The only way out of this BS unscathed is to just ease away from him until he forgets all about me.

I think I'm just going to lie and tell him I have family matters to attend to for some unspecified amount of time, and then just disappear for good.

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Donovan

· #45 · Aug 5, 2013 (Edited)

ugh god... what's even worse is when the person is fading because they can't deal with their own actions. they just want to forget their own shame... but are unwilling to give any closure, and will drop hints that indicate that they don't actually want you to move on...

i think it's a bad move, because things just get progressively worse. it's like having a wound, and instead of cleaning it you put a dirty, used bandage over it--allowing something dark and festering to grow between you.

it's also sad in the way that it can completely kill whatever could have been had afterwards, all because one person is a coward... if anything is to happen--even if it's the other creating their own closure, and wanting to their to be no bad air between the two--it's usually the wronged party that has to be the bigger person... unfortunately.

edit: although in dag's case, it does seem different--doesn't seem like you owe the guy anything either.

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