Fading away as a break-up method

755 Views 50 Replies 21 Participants Last post by rosegeranium, Aug 7, 2013

dagnytaggart

Discussion Starter · Aug 1, 2013 (Edited)

Have you ever done this? How exactly did you go about it? Did it work as a way to avoid drama that would otherwise ensue?

If you could detail the way you faded out on the person successfully, that'd be great. Thanks..

EDIT --- Here's the situation:

Basically I'm fading away from a guy who I never got into an official relationship with. He never asked me to be his girl, and he just doesn't seem attached at all. It's a long distance thing, we live across the country, and have gone on vacations together 3 times, for weekends. Other than that, he barely texts, and we never talk on the phone or any of that.

Whenever we go on vacations, he flirts with every female with two legs, and is always bragging about how he gets hit on in his hometown. The only reason I've gone on more than 1 vacation with this dude is for the sake of going on vacation. I never took him seriously due to the aforementioned reasons.

But then a while back, I got into a serious relationship with someone in my hometown, and when I told this player dude (let's call him Matt), he went fucking bananas, accusing me of cheating (even though we were never even together...so wtf?) I got him to chill out and Matt and I were able to remain friends.

Then, I broke up with the hometown guy, and let Matt back in the picture again. But of course, I didn't take him seriously because he didn't seem to take me seriously, even after hashing out the supposed "misunderstandings". And now I've gotten into another serious relationship in my hometown, and Matt is bugging me to go on another vacation with him. So, I'm stalling and slowly ignoring him more and more.

I just don't want the drama of what happened last time. Matt could screw me over if he wanted to, due to circumstances I'd rather not get into. I'd rather just find a way for us to just drift apart.

(and no, calling it quits and then ignoring/blocking/getting a restraining order wouldn't prevent him from screwing me over)

The only way out of this BS unscathed is to just ease away from him until he forgets all about me.

I think I'm just going to lie and tell him I have family matters to attend to for some unspecified amount of time, and then just disappear for good.

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starryskies

· #44 · Aug 5, 2013

I guess it's a bit different because you are not this guys girlfriend, he never asked you to be and doesn't seem attached to you. But he seems super jealous too, and it appears there are more complicated issues at play. I think it is better to tell him it's over between you two, whatever it was you had than just fade away, but I understand why you think the latter will be easier.

I would just like to add that if someone does really care about you, 'fading away' can be the most heartbreaking and devastating thing for them, especially if you are in a relationship with them. It is dragging out the pain and making them question their self worth. I think it is the WORST way to break up with someone who has treated you well, if he hasn't though I think you don't really owe him much of anything.

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