It's a bit hard to determine exactly what is meant in this thread (wow some high emotions running here). I'll try to provide examples from what I am interpreting (which is probably wrong, but wth wth).
1/ slow-fade-away - this is when a relationship or friendship just dies a natural death, isn't it? From what I just read from @dagnytaggart this is what's happening. It wasn't a real relationship, it was just occasional fucking when ya both got together and felt like it.
Guy had no call to go ape on you at all and probably isn't worth more'n the occasional fuck if you're horny one night and you happen to be together. I wouldn't waste my life going on vacation with him, go on vacation with someone else more pleasant. BTW he sounds like he might be the player-type, though I'm almost certainly reading too much into his shitty behavior.
2/ fade-away - aka silent/ignore treatment for a while, I do this only when someone says or does something so stupid or flagrantly insulting/disrespectful that they don't deserve my company for a while. I completely ignore any bullshit texts or emails that they might send for a week or so, don't answer the phone, etc.
When I've bothered to resume communication I never refer to the incident and they've never asked me why I was silent - THEY KNOW THAT THEY'VE STEPPED OVER THE BOUNDARIES. They ain't fucking stupid and neither am I - I know that they were trying to push the boundaries deliberately. If it happens multiple times, then they're toast and get to the next level #3 below.
3/ instant fade-away - aka going ghost, dropping them like a hot potato, etc. This happens only when the person reveals themselves to be completely, utterly, batshit insane or constantly pushes the limits of decency - some people hide this well for a time (BPD/NPD types are exceptionally adroit at this).
This is when I literally never speak to them again, never communicate with them again, they are FUCKING DEAD so far as I'm concerned. They can go to hell, go straight to hell, do not pass go, do not get closure (or even a "fuck off").
I've done this once recently. That chick was batshit insane: she was a cutter, literally sliced the word "love" into her arm with a sharp knife. No fucking way am I going to bother enough even to say "it's over" to her. Bluntly: I value my sanity and peace of life/mind far more than I give a shit about what she thinks that she might be "entitled" to. I am not paid to deal with that crap - leave it to the psychologists and her close friends/family to deal with.
1/ slow-fade-away - this is when a relationship or friendship just dies a natural death, isn't it? From what I just read from @dagnytaggart this is what's happening. It wasn't a real relationship, it was just occasional fucking when ya both got together and felt like it.
Guy had no call to go ape on you at all and probably isn't worth more'n the occasional fuck if you're horny one night and you happen to be together. I wouldn't waste my life going on vacation with him, go on vacation with someone else more pleasant. BTW he sounds like he might be the player-type, though I'm almost certainly reading too much into his shitty behavior.
2/ fade-away - aka silent/ignore treatment for a while, I do this only when someone says or does something so stupid or flagrantly insulting/disrespectful that they don't deserve my company for a while. I completely ignore any bullshit texts or emails that they might send for a week or so, don't answer the phone, etc.
When I've bothered to resume communication I never refer to the incident and they've never asked me why I was silent - THEY KNOW THAT THEY'VE STEPPED OVER THE BOUNDARIES. They ain't fucking stupid and neither am I - I know that they were trying to push the boundaries deliberately. If it happens multiple times, then they're toast and get to the next level #3 below.
3/ instant fade-away - aka going ghost, dropping them like a hot potato, etc. This happens only when the person reveals themselves to be completely, utterly, batshit insane or constantly pushes the limits of decency - some people hide this well for a time (BPD/NPD types are exceptionally adroit at this).
This is when I literally never speak to them again, never communicate with them again, they are FUCKING DEAD so far as I'm concerned. They can go to hell, go straight to hell, do not pass go, do not get closure (or even a "fuck off").
I've done this once recently. That chick was batshit insane: she was a cutter, literally sliced the word "love" into her arm with a sharp knife. No fucking way am I going to bother enough even to say "it's over" to her. Bluntly: I value my sanity and peace of life/mind far more than I give a shit about what she thinks that she might be "entitled" to. I am not paid to deal with that crap - leave it to the psychologists and her close friends/family to deal with.
