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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
So here is the backstory...

I met an AWESOME guy on Friday night. Like many INFPs, I have a random mix of interests, most of which he shared. He possessed an equal level of immature goofiness and seriousness; he stayed at my place since he was visiting from out of town. He's exactly my "type" looks-wise and I've never met someone as sensitive who wasn't, for lack of a better term, "full of it." But after seeing a lot of BS, I'm inclined to believe he is genuine. We spent all day lazing around and talking, and he ended up contacting me the next night to stay over.

He texted me after both times to tell me I was awesome, and we had a short conversation online where he told me to keep in touch (he's moving up here after graduation in January). My guess from his personality is that he is an ENFJ/ENFP/ESFJ - he's an econ/music major, traveled extensively and easily made friends all over, has ADD, and is mostly friends with girls. I'm still not as good at reading people's types yet.

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But the important part:
I know INFPs tend to be cautious when it comes to anything romantic, but have any of you ever met someone so compatible on so many levels that you were like, "Seriously, I couldn't have built someone better." How do know if feelings are reciprocal? I haaaaate not knowing, and rather than be labeled as clingy, I'm simply aching for his brain from afar.

And on a more important note:
Ever since this weekend, I've felt this really deep, aching loneliness. I haven't felt this comfortable around someone in ages; there's maybe three other people who I feel that comfortable around, and none of them live nearby. It made me realize even more the fact that after a year and a half living where I do, I still don't have any close, comfortable friends nearby who I feel I somewhat get or who care as much about what's going on in my life. I enjoy listening to my friends' stories (even when some details are a little TMI), but can't really get them to be mutually interested in me it seems. I've tried reaching out, and I understand people are busy, but I guess it IS possible to have too much alone time. I remember reading that the Ne function had something to do with that...

But anyway. How do you deal with that fundamental loneliness, where it seems there's no one around who gets you? I live in the city so you'd think I would have come across someone by now, but I haven't. And now that I've met someone who got me so well, I'm afraid I'll never find anyone else who understands...:unsure:
 

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You can learn to enjoy that feeling of having a crush on someone, even if it doesn't work out. It's part of the thrill of life. I haven't had that feeling for a long time
 

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i see that kind of loneliness as complete reassurance of my feelings.
for example, there's a girl i consider my soul mate. we'd talk everyday whenever we had the chance and then suddenly she stopped talking to me for about a month.
during that time i cried myself to sleep and then i'd wake up at four in the morning and start crying some more until i'd either just get up and start my day or go back to sleep.
now that i can look back on it i know i overreacted but at least i no longer have doubts about my feelings for her.
so i think the loneliness prevents us from over analyzing everything to the point where we convince ourselves out of pursuing the person we have feelings for, for whatever reason.
i hope that helps.


some will die in hot pursuit while sifting through my ashes,
AvaAdore
 
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