[PrincePhilip]

I feel like no matter what, any girl who shows me the slightest bit of interest. I will instantly start liking her in a romantic way, and this leads me to constant disappointment. They always end up making me their "best friend", and tell me all these things about how perfect I am, but then go off chasing some jerk. I don't understand. I just don't want to be alone. I wish somebody would just give me a chance.

 

[TylerSL]

I've been both a sensitive guy, and a jerk. Didn't really plan it that way, its just how I was at that particular time in life. Im 21 and have dated a good amount of girls, but been rejected by just as many. If you treat a girl like gold and she goes for the jerk its because she's bored, and thats it. She needs to fill a void in her life thats caused by a lack of stimulation of some sort and that my friend, is not your fault. She sucks, not you. If you be your good honest self, you will be a magnet for girls who have nothing but pure intentions and aren't gonna ditch you. If you act like a jerk like I did for a while, sure you'll get a higher number of cute girls interested in you, but I find this very sad and honestly it gives me anxiety. I had trouble believing a girl would like me for me, but they love it when you act like yourself. Even if the girl isn't interested, she no doubt has friends who are! And if you get rejected in a bad way for some jerk, you have to have the "well f*ck you then" attitude (at least I do) or you'll constantly think you weren't good enough, which sucks and is a waste of time.

 

[username]

I feel like no matter what, any girl who shows me the slightest bit of interest. I will instantly start liking her in a romantic way, and this leads me to constant disappointment. They always end up making me their "best friend", and tell me all these things about how perfect I am, but then go off chasing some jerk. I don't understand. I just don't want to be alone. I wish somebody would just give me a chance.

Any girl who doesn't see YOU and appreciate YOU isn't worth your time! Be patient - the right girl will come around and you won't need to convince her to take interest in you! She'll appreciate everything you are!

 

[Broccolihead]

thats how i feel, when people show interest in me it seems like its sexually motivated. girls like to be approached, whined and dined, it seems old fashioned but your problem to me seems like you want them to make the first move.

how old are you? until my first relationship i found that it was extremely easy for me to become infatuated. its because you would rather fantasize about what could be then face an uncertain reality. stand back and ask yourself how the other person feels, you cant love someone that doesnt love you, its not reall love. try to figure out what infatuation is. also keep in mind, alot of younger people dont want romance, they want to experiment with sex. dont be dissapointed with this, im not trying to be pessimistic .

 

[rowingineden]

I can definitely fall super hard super easily for just about anyone. I've always known that was true. This is why I am trying to be selective now about who I go out with. I also "fall in love" with friends in a rather similar way, and so I've always been selective about friendships. *sigh*

 

[nooo]

Same problems here. Being recluse is what makes it so hard for me, when the opportunity comes up I get all excited (more than often too excited) and that sets me up for being even more let down. It sucks, but like others said, be true, and don't turn into one of the mindless dickheads out there, believe me, I've considered it too.

 

[Calvaire]

I always have this problem of falling for my guy friends it seems.
I don't know why it just naturally happens that way.
That and I do sometimes develop crushes on guys who have been
really nice or I don't showed some "slight interest" like you said....
As for women that go for jerks I think it's because they somehow thin they can change that person
which is a shame because really people do NOT change.

 

[refugee]

this thread sounds eerily similar to "Eternal Sunshine".... :mellow:

 

[unordinaryone]

History has probably taught me to not fall too easily , but I have learnt the hard way , I do fall deeply in love when it happens .. . . Im like a vampire for Love . . .Its sooo powerful that I almost believe it counters all other imbalance I cary in the emotional realm . . .

 

[SenhorFrio]

I do fall in love easy, the way i see it is:how could i deny myself love. it does get annoying

 

[fillet]

I used to see guys with girls that were always pouting, throwing hissy fits, making the guy pay for everything, talking babyish and acting all ditzy.

And I used to think, is this how I have to act to be attactive? These girls always have boyfriends.

Surely there are guys out there, that appreciate nice, easy-going, intelligent, fair girls like me? These are things that I like about myself, I don't want to change into a bratty pouting princess >_<

But finally I've met my first ENFP, and I feel that he appreciates all these things about myself that I like. And really, I wouldn't want to date a guy that puts up with someone that cannot communicate reasonably and needs to pout all the time to get their way.

I realise now, that the guys that wouldn't give me a chance, were honestly not my type. Your type would love the things that you love about yourself, and it would be easy for them to see it. They wouldn't need to date you to see this.

 

[murderegina]

My first reaction to just the title of the thread alone was what do you mean.. "Too easily" sounds negative as if loving easily should have some sort of denotation.

In your post, however, you didn't describe love. You described a downside to being an idealist. Perhaps romance is your greatest idealization? It's so easy, almost too easy, to get caught up in our minds so when we crawl out into reality, it hurts.

Too many are scared..they bid their farewell in the dance of love before it's barely begun. I think our idealization helps us get over the stage fright of doing this dance. I, for one, crave intimacy. It makes me feel connected and engaged, which is what I desire despite not feeling that way with many people. Because my connections with others are so rare, when I did connect or felt a possible connection was available to be born- I would idealize the person. I was so lonely in my own mind, but I knew there was a outlet, so I'd idealize that someone must be my escape. The more comfortable I became with myself and the more connections I've been able to make, the less I've idealized thus less getting hurt. It also helps to realize the connection you want is born between true intimacy and true intimacy won't hurt the part of you that expresses these fears. Real love with comfort you. So, when it's hurting to know what you wanted isn't true, don't let that hurt you because it only means real love is still waiting to grow else where and you won't find it if you wait for a bus thats not going to come.

 

[Blueguardian]

I used to think along the same lines as you do with the whole girls like jerks thing. I honestly don't even think about it anymore. Dwelling on things like that are never beneficial to me. These days I almost have a void of knowledge in that area. Perhaps willful ignorance on that particular topic? Meh, whatever.

As for the liking in a romantic way bit, I don't really have the same issue. I do fall fast, but its with girls that are few and far between it seems. For me, I get probably a little to attached as a friend though. I think its a subconscious dislike of weak friendships. I do fight it off, and have gotten better over the past few years... but I wont lie, it can be an issue still from time to time. I think my bigger problem is people mistaking this desire for a strong friendship, for a romantic pursuit. I have lost a few female friends in the past due to this misunderstanding. This is why most of my friends in real life are male. It probably is also a contribution to why I am uneasy around the opposite sex that is also approx. my age group.

 

[Rez]

Just Remember


All the what ifs, exs, never-agains of tomorrow are only their to guide you to the very one waiting for you , just wondering about if you exist in this very moment, wanting to meet you some day

yes

it suxs

BIG TIME
but guess what

youth doesn't last long

youth within the heart does

so keep up the optimism with love and eventually these what ifs, exs, never agains will start to leave you alone, the one waiting for you will be entering your life every so quickly,

just be patient,love


always keep the hole of the heart clogged up with as much good memories as you can because life and age will try to do you in again, again, and again but never let the hole grow too wide for it does nothing but get stronger

 

[Staryu]

I feel like no matter what, any girl who shows me the slightest bit of interest. I will instantly start liking her in a romantic way, and this leads me to constant disappointment. They always end up making me their "best friend", and tell me all these things about how perfect I am, but then go off chasing some jerk. I don't understand. I just don't want to be alone. I wish somebody would just give me a chance.

dammit.
you just echoed my sentiments, bro. this is exactly how i feel too. except in my case, replace the word "girl" with guy.
except in my case, i hate liking people..it's ridiculous, scary, and messes with my head.i wish i never loved people. seriously. but im human, weak unfortunately, and i do. if i could, id give up my ability to fall into lust oh-so-easily..and then life would be great.

 

[pretty.Odd]

Oh God this is totally me! I get attached to people so easily and so fast that it ends up pushing them away

 

[Now and Then]

I don't fall in love easily. But I have to agree about the part of feeling somewhat of an automatic attraction towards someone who shows an interest in me. I'm kind of person who needs a strong friendship first before developing romantic feelings. I'm kind of person, in the other words, who prefers to become comfortable with the other, get to know them well. So to lessen the chance of idealization. Bantering of teases is something I love doing in relationships; it shows how comfortable we are with each other. When they tease back, forth and back, in a friendly but simulating manner, you might find in no time I start to fall for them. That goes for the self-revealing conversations too.

When I fall in love, I stay in love for a very long time. For the worst or for the best.

Also, I can't help but notice idealizing someone in the head, falling too easily with that image, then tragically getting crushed, occurs more often among men than among women? This is really interesting. Correct my observation if it's untrue.

 

[Blue Butterfly]

Yep that is me too. But I never tell anyone when I do.

 

[mushr00m]

I think im in love with being in love :wink:

 

[Michael82]

I will instantly start liking her in a romantic way

then go off chasing some jerk.

I just don't want to be alone. I wish somebody would just give me a chance.

Basically this sums up why you aren't succeeding in a romantic relationship. You are saying you don't want to be alone, but if that is the reason you are trying to find someone you are giving out the wrong signals. My thought is that some girls are looking for comfort and you give it to them because it makes you feel you are not alone. Then when they got their comfort of not being alone (exactly the same reason as you...coincidence?), they get bored (like Tyler said in his reply), and find a jerk who get the boredom out of her.

The first important thing is that you have to have some confidence in being yourself. I know this is hard for INFP's, but really don't we all here have this in common? :laughing:. INFP's can be funny, friendly, anything nice. Most important is that you don't look for anyone while you are just plainly being yourself. This will give others the chance to get to you for the right reasons, it will boost your confidence even more and on the longer term you will see that you start to see the right things in yourself and in others. By doing that, you may find yourself rather looking for a friend or two than to find a relationship. Which in fact is good because it will help you get rid of your loneliness.

At some point afterwards you will find yourself ready to start this relationship. Romance is good, important, valuable for an INFP. But don't let it enter a relationship when you aren't ready for it.