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It could be good or bad. You might start loving your partner for who they truly are, not who you idealized them to be at the beginning of the relationship. But since your chemicals stop going crazy, a lot of couples break during this phase.

I'm going through that right now. It's hard. Rationally, I love him and I don't want to lose him or give him up. He's an amazing person; I am very, very lucky to have found him and to have him loving me back. But all that feely-butterflies are all gone, and I'm left with my rationality. Not that it bothers me as an ENTJ. I'm actually kinda glad that from now on I can truly appreciate him for who he is, not who I think he is, and work with him on his weaknesses.

Anyone relates? Or maybe have a story of falling in/out of love you want to share?

Or just share about your partner. We really need a partner appreciation thread
 

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Yes I had intimate feelings for a girl who was close to me and we would talk all the time , but over time we had more fall outs and then the butterfly feelings in the stomach slowly subsided and reality kicked in. We were really not compatible enough for each other and I felt like a garbage truck afterward, but what really helped was to keep an open mind that there are other more compatible people out there, and this partner didn’t really reflect all my values, maybe some, but not all of my values.

looking back despite all the butterflies in the stomach, or connectedness we felt toward each other, we never really truly represented each other’s values too well. Kinda going in different directions. I got more clarity when we separated, and that was that we were just meant for other people, not each other.

Sorry if this does happen to you. That was shit but I got over it, “time heals all wounds” as they say. It’s more true than I originally thought.

Anyway, even if we separated me and her, we left on good terms, so we could always get back together in the future (it won’t happen) but there is always that glimmering spark of hope in the back of my mind and that keeps me positive when I remember it. I don’t know, it’s how I ended up dealing with the bad emotions in some way, but I never never ever want to see her again, I’m just so sick of her toxic ideological “I’m a confused small town girl” bullshite.
 

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Sorry if this does happen to you. That was shit but I got over it, “time heals all wounds” as they say. It’s more true than I originally thought.
Nah don't be sorry. I'm sorry that it happened to you. As for me, I'm actually really glad my feelings don't control me anymore. I told him I'm at the end of the honeymoon phase now, so I'm going to act much more rationally and I might focus too much on work, which is why I NEED him to communicate whenever he feels emotionally deprived or if something bothers him. I've heard the end of the honeymoon phase is the beginning of actual love, and I'm willing to put in efforts to make it work. Just curious how other people acted at the end of this "rose-colored glasses" phase.
 

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Nah don't be sorry. I'm sorry that it happened to you. As for me, I'm actually really glad my feelings don't control me anymore. I told him I'm at the end of the honeymoon phase now, so I'm going to act much more rationally and I might focus too much on work, which is why I NEED him to communicate whenever he feels emotionally deprived or if something bothers him. I've heard the end of the honeymoon phase is the beginning of actual love, and I'm willing to put in efforts to make it work. Just curious how other people acted at the end of this "rose-colored glasses" phase.
that seems like a really mature way to go about it. but the honeymoon period can be recreated, keep the romance alive. go out on fun dates, and have lots of sex.
 

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Beyond novelty i think its good to tou h base with both thd experience and awareness of why you love someone. When i pause to think and go with what I feel, i am able to put inot words a lot of things that resonate why i love my wife. Taking the moment to ground myself in that moment of appreciation helps me. Shes beautiful for who she is and be ause of who she is, i feel a swelling up of feelings again as to why i feel driven to do things so i can share in her happiness.
Beyond expected tasks i think its the small things that communicate that care and concern for the other. Like just a short wbile ago wifey felt a bit sickly and down. So after lunch i told her to go have a nap and id clean up. She said that wasn't fair to me to which i explained its not a out doing the same quantity, when someones ill you look out fof them as they're unwell. It showex i cared in what was a reletively minor way for me but was more significant fir her when feeling unwell.
Doingthings because you care about them and it shows an anticipation of their wants and needs.

Or something like that.
 

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Ive seen your recent posts relating to this topic.

I don’t think breaks are needed nor does falling out of love have to happen nor does the novelty have to go away and be replaced by someone new.

I think you’ve developed a confirmation bias and are over thinking your relationship. There is some inherent doubt that’s developed within you and it’s eating away that touchy feely stuff.

You clearly like this guy a lot. A lot a lot. And he’s on your mind a lot. Something is bugging you though and we should try and Think about what it may be.
 

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I think just about everyone relates at some point. The feeling always dissipates, which is why you choose partners based on overall compatibility and not a fleeting feeling. People should not marry out of love, either.
 

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Well, I think you should consider yourself lucky that you're aware of what's happening.

Often in the past with me, things just fizzled out, and the next thing you know, one or the other just puts the final nail in the coffin, sometimes without warning.

If you want the long view, consider yourself lucky both for the above reason, and that IIRC you're pretty young, so might as well start getting used to the facts of life sooner rather than later.

Everybody gets hurt, and it hurts, every time it hurts a little -- I don't ever think people can become truly cynical unless they're sociopaths -- but that's life.
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Oh, I suppose I misread, and you were just having some doubts. Well, that's fine too. That's wise to recognize that you're not a bad person because your emotions have moderated, or vice versa.

So, have fun!
 

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I alternate between loving intensely and falling completely out of love. Each period lasts for about a week. If the latter period lasts longer than that, I end the relationship.

I compare romantic relationships with friendships. A good friend never grows old so why should a life partner?
 

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When I saw my ex getting really vicious it reminded me of my sister, and I hate my sister, so that was really what did it for me, and after that I lost all feelings for her. With my other ex it was the constant fighting towards the end that really did it, although I still cared about her after we broke up. Falling for my current girl helped get me out of it with my ex though.
 

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Peter Petrelli
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After a couple of years, yeah the butterflies do go away, I mean, you've probably seen them in many unflattering positions, like helping wipe that booger that flew out when they sneezed or clearing up that poop smell when they went to the restroom, or caring for them when sick. Once you know someone really intimately, feelings change, and for people in love, it changes from butterfies, to just attachment. It becomes no longer exciting, because you've entered a routine. That's when it takes a little more work. It's good to have a solid foundation of friendship. It keeps the bond close.

I'm trying to look back on relationships to see if I ever really had that. My past relationship weren't all that stable; they didn't pan out much. The person I'm talking to now, it's going reeeeeally slow, but very stable. He's a very good influence on me, overall. I think, in time, if things work out right, it could be a solid one. Otherwise, I have not much in my experience to share.
 

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I know I've truly fallen out of love with someone; when I finally see them for who they really are and stop making excuses for their bad behaviour.

What this has taught me; is that don't rationalize and make excuses, just because it maybe be convenient and find someone, you have no need to make any excuses for, because they truly are that awesome. :lovekitty:
 
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