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is there really such a thing as falling for the wrong types?
i mean i see a pattern
that the type of guys with certain very specific common elements that i end up being attracted to
the types that make me feel complete, stabilised, emotive, hopeful and so on
often these types that have such strong effect to make me feel complete, ecstatic, alive, content and secure like that often have been either 1 very difficult to attain 2 end up cheating on me or hurting me 3 always something horrible comes up in the end like they are married and never told me whilst going out with me or something 4 some kind of disaster 5 just doesn't fit me... etc

or is this pattern similar to many people that are walking on this planet?
or is there any case where one manages to meet the person that make them feel complete and content just the way they are.. both heart & superfice.. holistically so to speak..?

so i was wondering..
if this pattern is a sign that whatever emotive elements that are missing from me, that i have to work on personally, individually, to complete myself.. instead of looking for that in someone else? that i have to first overcome and solve and figure out and achieve my missions first
and then will the type of people that i become attracted to.. will it change? will the target of attraction change? as myself shifts and overcomes and become more stabilised independently?

or will this attraction criteria keep on evolving on its behalf?

but at the same time i am the person who belives the truth of my heart..

bottom line.. i have my own life missions and my work that i need to achieve independently
and as i've been experiencing life.. currently my belief about my situation is that the types that i find attractive - are not neccessarily worth hunting for unless my personal missions have been accomplished in the first place.. so that relationship or so called LOVE is optional.. more like a bonus..

will i keep searching and have faith in that person that triggers the emotion that i am after? should i disregard my logic and ignore the previous patterns of the type of people i am strongly, automatically attracted to .. but rather keep my faith in finding the one that won't betray me the same way i've been by those types.. and still be able to complete the jigsaw puzzle that i am? should i keep focusing on what makes me feel complete and risk becoming hurt over and over? and be strategic that way?

or should i zoom myself out of such infatuation and really try to change myself to conquer the incomplete elements that i am after by myself? so to be less dependent on someone else activating such emotions? so that i won't neccessarily have to seek that in another person which is not likely to happen? which would be volatile and difficult to secure anyways?

is there really such thing as falling for the wrong types? is this a matter of personal balance? logical balance? or is this a matter of heart-felt truth?
 

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I don't think there are wrong types, only inappropriate for your demands. Well, there were many questions but I believe you already know the answers, you just want someone to confirm you are right. Everyone needs that someone to make sense of life; it's just as important as pursuing your personal missions, indeed this is one of the personal missions. I mean, you search for someone primarily because you want yourself to feel good, not the other one, so to a certain point it is your challenge to behalf on your heart-felt balance: your game, your rules.
 

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I think its possible, its not like the relationship won't work to an extent. But you guys would end up with much more sadness than happiness. You may not develop yourselves properly, but for the sake of 'Love' you may keep the relationship.

So far,
I've found out that ENs, ENTPs especially, suit me to a T. I never went out looking for them (heck i didnt even know what MBTI was). I recently decided to type all the guys I've really had a connection with (all three of them). Guys i can be myself with, guys who have understood me, guys whose company i thoroughly enjoy. I never dated them, cause One is married, One has a girlfriend and the last one, i just met...but who knows :wink:

Anyways yeah.:happy:
 
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