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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hey! i am an ENFJ.. and I wanna know how to help my sister that is 19 with the mental disorder of we think bipolar.. but lately we aren't sure. But she's off her medication and is pregent.. and i hate seeing her angry and upset.. i try so hard to cheer her up, have patients with her,.. and be there for her. but what more can i do? Her boyfriend is 31 and isn't the best influence for her... at all :( He isn't understanding the fact she has bipolar or mental disorder and he keeps telling her she doesnt.. so she's highly confused.. and sense her mental illness make her respond less like a person without one.. she doesn't believe that we are trying to help her..?

Also.. my mom is a reck with this.. my parents just recently got in a divorce.. and she usually has my dad to back her up.. but he's not there anymore?? and she's realizing she's alone.. so now she's a just depressedish.. How can i help her without making her feel ick about herself. cause in the past i held her when she cried and she noticed that it wasn't right.. and now i dont want her to feel like a bad parent.. how do i approach this as a kid?

I just wanna help.

I don't like seeing my family hurting..

How can i help? :frustrating:
 

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I don't know if this is the right to say if people agree that would be goodbut I guess let things just be for a while till everything settles down after the birth and when times passes past the divorce. In a nut shell give it some time. I don't know if this the right thing say but I'm looking at it at different ways . Good Luck I sure hope everything works out for you.:sad:
 

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OK I'm going to put my 2 cents in......

My ex is bipolar and would not take meds even though he should have plus he didn't want to believe what the dr would tell him. If I went at the situation head on it would cause a conflict so I always looked for an alternate approach. There maybe an alternative way for you to help a back door per say.

My parents are still together so I don't know much on that area. What I do know is I did have a heart to heart one day with my mom just after my gram passed away. She was crying and didn't want me near her that whole I'm the parent thing was kicking hard. I told her that she is my mom and will always be my mom. She patched me up tons of times as a kid and wiped away my tears but now we need each other, we need to be able to cry on each others shoulders and comfort one another because shes not just my mom but my friend the person I can talk to when things get crazy and friends are there for each just like we need to be now. Hearing that from me helped since I was telling her that she is still mom but more than that as well and we helped each other get through it.

Just stay strong I know you can get through this. Big hugs 4 you, you need them.
 

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I hate to ask this, but how much is really known about the effects of whatever antipsychotic she would be on on a fetus? I know how that bipolar people definitely need their meds (bipolar I especially - one of my best friends is bipolar I, mostly manic type, and when his meds stop working he has a tendency to travel several hundred miles in some direction, think God is speaking to him through metaphors he sees in everything, and only even remembers brief flashes of the whole experience when he ends up back in the hospital and they switch him to something else. Type II bipolar could probably get away with it for a few months with extremely good support, but it would still be difficult), but at the same time, a developing fetus is extremely sensitive to everything that goes on or into the mother's body. Basically, ask a LOT of questions, and make sure that it's 100% safe for her to be on whatever it is while pregnant. And make her psychiatrist actually show real evidence or a study to prove it - a lot of them will just ignore their patients concerns because, of course, they MUST know better (not that I have any experience with this at all...oh no...I just complained to mine about how the antidepressants they had me on a few years ago made my emotions feel fake, like part of my body was feeling one emotion and part was feeling another, and they just told me I must not be used to how being happy felt yet...utter BS obviously, but that's what you get sometimes).

Ok, so the whole subject of psychiatry kind of hits a very sensitive nerve for me...

Anyway, I really can't say much more than that without knowing more about what's going on. She may actually be bipolar, or she may just be in kind of a rough place with a boyfriend who isn't really good for her and the subsequent family drama, and so the stress ends up looking like bipolar but is really just stress and depression. If she's never actually had a full-blown manic episode, you can't ever actually be sure. Either way, it sounds like you're really trying to look out for what's best for her and that you really care for her, so you're just going to have to try to work with her on what seems like the right thing to do.

She might believe (and he may even be feeding this or at least backing it up) that all of the concern your family has over her mental health is some backlash against the "rebellion" of their dating. Remember: she's 19 and in a potentially bad relationship - that makes her parents and family potentially "the enemy," no matter what the truth may be. Maybe try to help her walk through these concerns, along with your concerns about her mental health. The most important thing is to make sure that it doesn't seem like a threatening confrontation to her, but rather like loving concern and empathy. This may be very tricky, but as long as you allow her to be open (and potentially even hostile) about her concerns without outwardly judging or lecturing her, but perhaps helping to guide her to the right conclusions, then it should work out.

Good luck to you, and I hope all goes well. :happy:
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
More information on the situation.

I hate to ask this, but how much is really known about the effects of whatever antipsychotic she would be on on a fetus? I know how that bipolar people definitely need their meds (bipolar I especially - one of my best friends is bipolar I, mostly manic type, and when his meds stop working he has a tendency to travel several hundred miles in some direction, think God is speaking to him through metaphors he sees in everything, and only even remembers brief flashes of the whole experience when he ends up back in the hospital and they switch him to something else. Type II bipolar could probably get away with it for a few months with extremely good support, but it would still be difficult), but at the same time, a developing fetus is extremely sensitive to everything that goes on or into the mother's body. Basically, ask a LOT of questions, and make sure that it's 100% safe for her to be on whatever it is while pregnant. And make her psychiatrist actually show real evidence or a study to prove it - a lot of them will just ignore their patients concerns because, of course, they MUST know better (not that I have any experience with this at all...oh no...I just complained to mine about how the antidepressants they had me on a few years ago made my emotions feel fake, like part of my body was feeling one emotion and part was feeling another, and they just told me I must not be used to how being happy felt yet...utter BS obviously, but that's what you get sometimes).

Ok, so the whole subject of psychiatry kind of hits a very sensitive nerve for me...

Anyway, I really can't say much more than that without knowing more about what's going on. She may actually be bipolar, or she may just be in kind of a rough place with a boyfriend who isn't really good for her and the subsequent family drama, and so the stress ends up looking like bipolar but is really just stress and depression. If she's never actually had a full-blown manic episode, you can't ever actually be sure. Either way, it sounds like you're really trying to look out for what's best for her and that you really care for her, so you're just going to have to try to work with her on what seems like the right thing to do.

She might believe (and he may even be feeding this or at least backing it up) that all of the concern your family has over her mental health is some backlash against the "rebellion" of their dating. Remember: she's 19 and in a potentially bad relationship - that makes her parents and family potentially "the enemy," no matter what the truth may be. Maybe try to help her walk through these concerns, along with your concerns about her mental health. The most important thing is to make sure that it doesn't seem like a threatening confrontation to her, but rather like loving concern and empathy. This may be very tricky, but as long as you allow her to be open (and potentially even hostile) about her concerns without outwardly judging or lecturing her, but perhaps helping to guide her to the right conclusions, then it should work out.

Good luck to you, and I hope all goes well. :happy:
Oka thanks for the information:) but i'll give you some heads up.. My sister has had a manic episode..many.. when we were younger and before she went to hospitals, treatment centers, then a place called Northwords in Duluth has helped tons, we had police come multiple of times before we got her treatment. she is Bipolar 1.. she has gone to treatment centers sense she was 14.. she has been on a high case of medicine sense she was 2 because she was a very sick baby and had her galbladder removed then.

And now.. she finally got the nerve to break up with her controling boyfriend that made us, like you said, the enemy.. Just for her.. she takes time and patients to really see stuff how they are kind of deal? but now her exboyfriend is a not so good person. He has been stalking her and my mom, even broke into our house and they are trying to get a restraining order against him.
Just the other day, she wanted to show him the babypictures and i saw her on the way home from soccer and asked where she was going, she said for a walk because my mom doesn't really want her to see him.. but when she tried showing him the pictures he forced her into the car.. she tried jumping out.. she has bruises from him holding on to her.. he tried to rape her, he sexually harrassed her and dropped her off in the country on a dirt road. she called my neighbors crying.. and she wanted to die at that second.. but luckily our neighbors talked her out of it.. she flagged down a car that was luckily coming down around 10 at night.. and dropped her back off in our town.
Also.. she was so upset one day, she attempted to kill the baby herself. but we fixed that and everything is better now.. just some shaky stuff has been going on.. and i'm barely allowed at my mom's house anymore and i'm worried crapless for them.

Sorry i'm blabbing.. my sister can hold it together for along time.. so maybe she really is bipolar 2.
and lets just say.. my mom is a reck. ha! i don't know what to do or think about all of this.. but it has been a roller coaster, jus gotta keep thinking of the goodtimes of the roller coaster :laughing:
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
I hate to ask this, but how much is really known about the effects of whatever antipsychotic she would be on on a fetus? I know how that bipolar people definitely need their meds (bipolar I especially - one of my best friends is bipolar I, mostly manic type, and when his meds stop working he has a tendency to travel several hundred miles in some direction, think God is speaking to him through metaphors he sees in everything, and only even remembers brief flashes of the whole experience when he ends up back in the hospital and they switch him to something else. Type II bipolar could probably get away with it for a few months with extremely good support, but it would still be difficult), but at the same time, a developing fetus is extremely sensitive to everything that goes on or into the mother's body. Basically, ask a LOT of questions, and make sure that it's 100% safe for her to be on whatever it is while pregnant. And make her psychiatrist actually show real evidence or a study to prove it - a lot of them will just ignore their patients concerns because, of course, they MUST know better (not that I have any experience with this at all...oh no...I just complained to mine about how the antidepressants they had me on a few years ago made my emotions feel fake, like part of my body was feeling one emotion and part was feeling another, and they just told me I must not be used to how being happy felt yet...utter BS obviously, but that's what you get sometimes).

Ok, so the whole subject of psychiatry kind of hits a very sensitive nerve for me...

Anyway, I really can't say much more than that without knowing more about what's going on. She may actually be bipolar, or she may just be in kind of a rough place with a boyfriend who isn't really good for her and the subsequent family drama, and so the stress ends up looking like bipolar but is really just stress and depression. If she's never actually had a full-blown manic episode, you can't ever actually be sure. Either way, it sounds like you're really trying to look out for what's best for her and that you really care for her, so you're just going to have to try to work with her on what seems like the right thing to do.

She might believe (and he may even be feeding this or at least backing it up) that all of the concern your family has over her mental health is some backlash against the "rebellion" of their dating. Remember: she's 19 and in a potentially bad relationship - that makes her parents and family potentially "the enemy," no matter what the truth may be. Maybe try to help her walk through these concerns, along with your concerns about her mental health. The most important thing is to make sure that it doesn't seem like a threatening confrontation to her, but rather like loving concern and empathy. This may be very tricky, but as long as you allow her to be open (and potentially even hostile) about her concerns without outwardly judging or lecturing her, but perhaps helping to guide her to the right conclusions, then it should work out.

Good luck to you, and I hope all goes well. :happy:
Also.. i hope best for your friend.. i know how scary and helpless you feel to see someone you care about go through that and think that.. do you think it might be the medication he's on? cause i know one medication made my sisters hallucitions really bad, she thought demons were talking to her.. and pinpointed me to be one of them when i was around 6.. they told her to do stuff she said.. and she would rock in her closet and scream and hurt herself cause the demons told her too.. it's scary :( some medication is phonys.. i also refuse to take it alot of times for what some of it has done to my family. but it has helped ALOT too :)
 

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Wow...that must have been really hard on you, especially that young... Sounds like things might have gotten a little worse before they get better, but hopefully it'll get better soon. At least she's starting to realize that he's not good for her; just really really sucks that it took something so extreme for that to happen. Sounds like your mom might be blaming herself a bit for it too, which is natural, but it's really not her fault (unless there's more I don't know about). Your sister just got dealt a very hard lot in life, but maybe just by giving her a safe place and working with her doctor she can get back to a healthier place again. I don't really feel comfortable saying much else - I'm no expert by any means on any of this.

My friend's doing a lot better now. He was on one for a while that worked pretty well, but he started to have a toxic reaction to it after a while and had to go off of it. So, he had to try a few others to find one that worked, and unfortunately there were some pretty bad hiccups along the way. He's on something that seems to be working now, so here's hoping it keeps working.
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
ya.. it takes an INSANELY long time to see what medication works.. and other medication to straighten out the other stuff you are taking.. i hope he finds stuff that works for him. and the bestest.. i've seen how hard it is.. and how hard it is to be around it..

By the way, thanks:):laughing:
 
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