[rowingineden]

It seems to me that types that have some Fe going on are more likely to lie (or not exactly be truthful) to try to avoid social conflict (maintain social harmony). I am guessing that this is due to a different set of moral priorities - Fe being "external ethics", or "what is ethical in the context of the group" and Fi being "internal ethics", or "what is ethical for me to do".

The only other theory I have is that all these people just happened to be phobic of social conflict on an individual level, and it was a mental health issue rather than a personality type issue.

What are your thoughts on this?

 

[Vaka]

I ignore social conflict because it makes things easier for myself and because I see no use for drama. I'm not really sure if Fe-users would be more likely to lie or not, though. I mean there are other reasons why someone would lie...

 

[Van]

Some people expect others to lie to them in order to protect their feelings, too. I can't say whether these are Fe users for sure, but I guess an Fe user who values people's feelings highly would appreciate the same from others.

 

[rowingineden]

Some people expect others to lie to them in order to protect their feelings, too. I can't say whether these are Fe users for sure, but I guess an Fe user who values people's feelings highly would appreciate the same from others.

I have felt that way from Fe users. It's very hard for me to do this because my Fi is very focused on being truthful and open about things.

 

[Gaminegirlie]

When I was younger, Lying was no big deal to me in fact I felt i could create the best lies, I did.
Because of my imaginative mind (and all of that)

But at my present age and stage, I've come to hate lying and lies.
I couldn't stand if someone lied to me, why should i lie to someone else??.
I have to admit that at times it is needed to maintain some form of order for the time being,
but I've learnt that the Truth always comes out.

 

[Introspiritual]

I'll sometimes lie by omission if telling the absolute truth will only hurt others and not accomplish anything else. That said, I prefer the truth if at all possible - and the more it's ignored, the more I feel compelled to speak it.

Those with lead Fe (ExFJ) seem to have somewhat different rules than I do, though. They're generally the ones telling me I'm not being considerate enough...

 

[teddy564339]

I'll sometimes lie by omission if telling the absolute truth will only hurt others and not accomplish anything else. That said, I prefer the truth if at all possible - and the more it's ignored, the more I feel compelled to speak it.

This is a great point. A lot of it depends on what is meant by "lying". Sometimes one can lie by omission in order to keep harmony. There's also the idea of tact...one can give the same basic message using very different words, it's just the details that could arguably make it a lie.

And as others have said, there are many reasons a person can lie, keeping harmony doesn't have to be the only or even main reason why someone would lie.

 

[madhatter]

A few years ago, I would have seen being "tactful" as lying...actually, in some situations, I still do. It is a fine line between being tactful and lying. I become very impatient with the constant re-wording, "tactfulness", that is employed by people such as my boss (ISFJ) or my mom (INFJ).

 

[alionsroar]

Fe also comes along with Ti which likes things to be precise and true.
But if you try to make everything precise and true you'll end up never saying anything since it will take hours to define what you mean by each word you say.

Does my butt look big in this?
You can't really answer that question truthfully unless you know stuff like:
Does it look big to whom? And what does 'big' mean?

 

[madhatter]

Does my butt look big in this?
You can't really answer that question truthfully unless you know stuff like:
Does it look big to whom? And what does 'big' mean?

That's simple: the answer is yes or no. The other factors as the perception of the bigness come into account, as well as what the person thinks is big. Entirely situational...as is everyone's butts.

 

[alionsroar]

That's simple: the answer is yes or no. The other factors as the perception of the bigness come into account, as well as what the person thinks is big. Entirely situational...as is everyone's butts.

It's not exactly a lie, but if people don't know there's a difference in definitions, then there is something false going on.
Like if the asker's definition of 'big' means 'as big as an elephants butt' or 'big enough so people will point and laugh' and the other person's definition of 'big' means 'slightly bigger than a particular supermodels butt' or 'big so that people envied it'.

It's easier to tell the truth if there is no subjective opinions involved like a butt is 60cm big and you can measure it and prove it is so. I don't even know why I am talking about butts.

 

[Nitou]

I have a real problem with telling people that they stink. Then the longer you wait, the more awkward it gets because they've been stinky all along and no one told them. People really need to know if they are stinky and I would want to be told. I wish it was easier to be truthful. :frustrating:

 

[suicidal_orange]

Fe also comes along with Ti which likes things to be precise and true.
But if you try to make everything precise and true you'll end up never saying anything since it will take hours to define what you mean by each word you say.

Does my butt look big in this?
You can't really answer that question truthfully unless you know stuff like:
Does it look big to whom? And what does 'big' mean?

As true a post as was ever written! I have written many a long explanation trying to explain my opinion along with who I am and where I'm coming from in a life sense, I often give up. Hence the low postcount :crazy:

If someone asks about their butt they should know whether I like big butts, which will of course affect my opinion of what's too big which is what they were really asking for anyway. It's a very imprecise question, how can you expect a precise answer?! :laughing: It remains to be seen whether I can actually answer this question when the answer is yes, especially as I'd actually be in a face to face situation, but I'd like to think anyone close enough to ask would expect nothing less than the truth, thus I'd have no fear of telling it. Afterall, they will be less happy if they go out and many people dislike what they see than if only one says it looks bad.

 

[TreeBob]

I think all types lie. If anything maybe Fe/Fi users just do it different ways.

Two INFPs have done it to me. I know they were lying and later admitted to it. They use excuses or skirt around the question but it is still a lie.

 

[teddy564339]

I become very impatient with the constant re-wording, "tactfulness", that is employed by people such as my boss (ISFJ) or my mom (INFJ).

Of course you do, you're a Thinking Type. :tongue:

 

[Nitou]

It takes more work to translate tact.

 

[madhatter]

I don't even know why I am talking about butts.

:laughing:

Of course you do, you're a Thinking Type. :tongue:

All mysteries of my life are explained with those words...

I noticed an interesting difference between my boss and me today...when I've been mulling over something, I'll say something's been "on my mind", while she says something's been "on her heart". A subtle, but intriguing distinction...

Anyway, I digress. Carry on...

 

[rowingineden]

:laughing:



All mysteries of my life are explained with those words...

I noticed an interesting difference between my boss and me today...when I've been mulling over something, I'll say something's been "on my mind", while she says something's been "on her heart". A subtle, but intriguing distinction...

Anyway, I digress. Carry on...

I often say that I "think" something, whereas most people I know would say the same context that they "feel" it. But... I'm an F type... just not very strongly, I guess.

 

[alionsroar]

I think when I say 'I feel' then I am more unsure about something than when I say 'I think'.

I usually don't bother with lying since you need to bother thinking up lies, remembering the lies, deciphering if something really is true or not and I don't see the point in all that bothering. Most lies have future repercussions so my reason for lying better be better than the possible effects of lying.