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Discussion Starter · #1 · (Edited)
I've noticed there are some Fe bullies. For example: I was on a different MBTI forum and someone was asking how to not feel lonely. I posted some information about trauma because I had a feeling given what they said about themselves, that their loneliness is trauma related. I ended up having more of a conversation about how it works and the person revealed to me that they had been beat up a lot when they were younger. I said that the trauma was probably stuck in their body.

Then when the person said that they weren't sure if getting beat up would give them PTSD, which wasn't necessarily what I was suggesting, I realized they were maybe overwhelmed or confused and was worried that talking to them anymore would mess them up or something? I ended up saying, "I don't want to confuse you, I was just throwing stuff out there. I'm sure you'll figure it out."

Then I got a nasty message from someone, "It is nice of you not to want to confuse him. Your ideas are just FAR too advanced. Have you considered touring the country with your genius?"

My conclusion is that people with Fe completely misunderstand my Te efforts to help people as something else entirely. I was trying to help and only backed away because I was worried I wasn't being helpful anymore. I don't have the ability to see what people need like you all do! I don't make fun of your lack of Te! Blah. This isn't the first person to do this to me, it is just one example. If you want more, I have them.
 

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Maid of Time
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I'm not even sure I'd go as far as blaming Fe.
That person who sniped you might have just been being a jerk.

You will run across all types of people on these types of forum, and not all of them want to understand where someone else is coming from.
 
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It wasnt your fault. The problems is that some feelers are just way too sensitive with certain topics and they react in defense mode. It depends on the maturity of the individual to be able to analyze their issues in a logical and neutral way. The only thing you could do is try to win a little more of trust from those individuals so that they dont feel you are judging them or attacking their emotions. Hope this helps with something.
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
It wasnt your fault. The problems is that some feelers are just way too sensitive with certain topics and they react in defense mode. It depends on the maturity of the individual to be able to analyze their issues in a logical and neutral way. The only thing you could do is try to win a little more of trust from those individuals so that they dont feel you are judging them or attacking their emotions. Hope this helps with something.
Ah, ok :) Thanks for that advice.
 

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Your ideas were simple, just hard to accept for him(or rather, hard to determine whether he actually had trauma or not). When you said "I don't want to confuse you," some people might have misconstrued that with you claiming that your advice was complex or hard to understand when it was actually simple. I suppose it depends quite a bit on what information you gave.

If you simply gave some symptoms and/or definitions of trauma, the person replying to you may have seen your advice as harmful or unnecessary. Telling someone they may have trauma is less beneficial(it may not actually be beneficial at all) than trying to help them with it or giving info on how to help themselves with it, especially when they're making such obvious attempts at reaching out to others in order to get help.

I don't think this has much to do with Fe misunderstanding Te. Someone simply misunderstood what you said (or you worded it a bit ambiguously, either way) and they thought your actions were harmful in some manner. If they're Fe, they might have said that because you weren't helping in their eyes (Fe's have compassion for everyone... except for people they believe lack compassion). If they're Fi, they might have thought your post was unnecessary or faulty. Whether someone is Fe or Fi, I can imagine them possibly confusing what you said in one way or another.
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
Your ideas were simple, just hard to accept for him(or rather, hard to determine whether he actually had trauma or not). When you said "I don't want to confuse you," some people might have misconstrued that with you claiming that your advice was complex or hard to understand when it was actually simple. I suppose it depends quite a bit on what information you gave.

If you simply gave some symptoms and/or definitions of trauma, the person replying to you may have seen your advice as harmful or unnecessary. Telling someone they may have trauma is less beneficial(it may not actually be beneficial at all) than trying to help them with it or giving info on how to help themselves with it, especially when they're making such obvious attempts at reaching out to others in order to get help.

I don't think this has much to do with Fe misunderstanding Te. Someone simply misunderstood what you said (or you worded it a bit ambiguously, either way) and they thought your actions were harmful in some manner. If they're Fe, they might have said that because you weren't helping in their eyes (Fe's have compassion for everyone... except for people they believe lack compassion). If they're Fi, they might have thought your post was unnecessary or faulty. Whether someone is Fe or Fi, I can imagine both confusing what you said in one way or another.
I've always personally found information and practical advice useful, so I figured why not share! I guess I need to figure out how to relate to people better. I'm still learning, but I still don't think it is nice of those who are naturally more in tune with people to make fun of my attempts. I just want to throw in the towel right now, but I know if I just learned how to be more aware, I could actually be helpful.
 

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Chatterbox, MOTM August 2013
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Two things:

1. Bullying isn't necessarily type or function specific. Some people are just assholes.

2. The Internet brings out the worst in these people.

Walk away from what happened knowing that you were genuinely trying to help someone, and whether or not what you said was what they were looking for, that person seemed to appreciate your efforts.

The person who sent you the Snark-o-gram? Try to shrug it off. Don't let this type of person suck you into their drama. S(he) was obviously not trying to engage you in a positive, or helpful way, s(he) was trying to provoke you into responding in a defensive manner.

Meh, pffft ... don't feed the troll. :wink:
 

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I've always personally found information and practical advice useful, so I figured why not share! I guess I need to figure out how to relate to people better. I'm still learning, but I still don't think it is nice of those who are naturally more in tune with people to make fun of my attempts. I just want to throw in the towel right now, but I know if I just learned how to be more aware, I could actually be helpful.
The only reason they'd "make fun of your attempts" is if they misunderstood you, and they probably did in this case. The OP obviously had trouble with deciding whether he has trauma and he doesn't seem to be very hurt about being bullied, but specifically giving him advice on how to cope with trauma might have been better than suggesting that he may have it.

In any case, giving "information and practical advice" was definitely the way to go, just perhaps not in the manner you did. Whether your advice was ambiguous or not, getting replied to sarcastically was a product of their lack of Fe / reasoning, not yours.
 
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