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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I've noticed that whenever I have to interact with Fe users I cannot for life of me figure out what they're feeling unless I've already known them for a long time. If I meet another introverted feeler I know straight away.

So Fe users mostly confuse me, but the emotional outbursts can be rather annoying at times too.
 

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I was confused.

Then I became a tad hateful and confused.

Then I become a tad hateful.

Then I became contemplative.

Now without advocating it or denouncing it, I try to understand how it works and how to live with it.

Fe seems like a natural part of life, like Te. If I had a Fe using type I'd probably use Fe like most people use Fe. Which may or may not be messed up, but I'm not sure they are even aware that a valid alternative choice exists. In their place I'm not sure I would either.

But on the whole the world isn't burning on account of Fe. People aren't being crushed under it, at least not more than Fi at work in the world manages to match it.

So far on the whole they don't seem to be out to make the world terrible for people.
 

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I feel like Fe is just particularly adaptive to life. I kind of envy them because they know how to push other people's buttons. As a strong Fi user, I feel trapped by my values sometimes.

For example, my roommate said, "I need to lose weight!"

And I can not tell a lie, so I said awkwardly, "You're not that fat."

I don't know what a Fe user would have said, but I imagine it would have been smooth, and cool.
 

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Everyone in my immediate family has varying degrees off Fe so I've grown up around it. I've grown accustomed to the famed "Fe-xplosion". Excessive amounts of Fe I find seems to stress out a lot of Fi users, just like how too much Te seems to stress out Fe users.
 

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tbh.. The only Fe that annoys me is Fe-Si and the tertiary Fe for some reason.

Aux-Fe is easily influenced by feeding enough data into the perceiving dominant function. A tad manipulative perhaps but hey.
 

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I've noticed that whenever I have to interact with Fe users I cannot for life of me figure out what they're feeling unless I've already known them for a long time. If I meet another introverted feeler I know straight away.

So Fe users mostly confuse me, but the emotional outbursts can be rather annoying at times too.
Are you talking about all Fe-users, or specifically FJ's? If you're talking about it in general, then you also have to talk about Ti, which is equally foreign to INTJ's.

For now I'll just assume you mean FJ's, though. This is coming from a leadership perspective in particular, as is reflected in my wording.

ISFJ. I generally can have some mutual respect with them right off the bat. Usually, I find them to be fairly genuine people worth getting to know a bit, and helping them to accept me as a person of integrity. We might rub each other the wrong way, but I find it's a lot easier to get along with them when I can establish the fact that I actually do care about people.

ESFJ. With them, I have to work a lot harder. They make value judgements very quickly and openly, and if we meet in the wrong circumstances or I make a mistake too soon, their outbursts can be very difficult to manage. I'm actually in the process of working through some issues with a fairly immature ESFJ, over whom I have authority. I have an official authority structure to work with, but she has a gossip structure: the deadly weapon of every malevolent ESFJ.

Believe it or not, though, I have developed successful and healthy friendships with certain ESFJ's. It's essential that they be well-adjusted people, and it's really helpful if they're adults. I have an ESFJ mentor/advisor whom I value deeply.

INFJ. Sometimes they can be confusing... but mostly I just really, really like them. Intimacy with INFJ's comes very naturally, and sometimes I experience that as sexual tension. I've always had to manage that feeling due to the nature of those relationships, but I really wonder what it would be like to let myself develop desire for an INFJ.

ENFJ. They're kind of awesome in how effective and passionate they can be. I find it easy to like them, though their passion often does have to be managed carefully. Like ESFJ's, they don't always recognize that their attempts to meet immediate needs can cause problems in other areas. This seems to be something that comes with age, though.
 

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I feel like Fe is just particularly adaptive to life. I kind of envy them because they know how to push other people's buttons. As a strong Fi user, I feel trapped by my values sometimes.

For example, my roommate said, "I need to lose weight!"

And I can not tell a lie, so I said awkwardly, "You're not that fat."

I don't know what a Fe user would have said, but I imagine it would have been smooth, and cool.
One who resolves to remain honest need not resolve to be open.

One who resolves to remain honest at times requires one to be secretive, particularly if trustworthiness is at stake.

Potentially if your answer is obviously ridiculous, a lie need not be a deception.
 

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Being that xNTJs are arguably the most objective and scientific type, it makes sense that you guys therefore struggle to understand Fe. xNTJs have a mentality that emotions have no place when discussing important matters because important matters have logical consequences.

Fe isn't just emotional outbursts. For me, it's about having FUN with people. Fe inspires me to be the quirky and lively person I am. It is a behavior aimed at those around me with an atmospheric purpose. It's much more complex than OP describes it.
 

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I like most people with Fe, especially if it's their 1st or 2nd function. Why wouldn't I? It generally means they're kind and empathetic. I love how it feels when I feel someone's Fe. It's like I'm bathing in soothing warmth. I kind of have a problem with INFJ's though. They have a very nasty, hurtful mean streak that comes out sometimes. Plus talking to an INFJ is like talking to a wall sometimes. I hate that.
 

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Discussion Starter · #13 ·
Are you talking about all Fe-users, or specifically FJ's? If you're talking about it in general, then you also have to talk about Ti, which is equally foreign to INTJ's.
I mean everyone with Fe somewhere within their first four functions. Sometimes it's not even a problem depending on what type they are and what their own personal attributes are, ect, but when it comes to the realm of value decisions there's so much difference there, I just try to stay completely away from it at.

Being that xNTJs are arguably the most objective and scientific type, it makes sense that you guys therefore struggle to understand Fe. xNTJs have a mentality that emotions have no place when discussing important matters because important matters have logical consequences.

Fe isn't just emotional outbursts. For me, it's about having FUN with people. Fe inspires me to be the quirky and lively person I am. It is a behavior aimed at those around me with an atmospheric purpose. It's much more complex than OP describes it.
Ah yes, then there's the logical side of the coin too. The aux/dom's I find annoying because of their illogicality. I much prefer Fi aux's (cough totally not looking at you ENFP's lurking this thread).

I would say the only thing I like about Fe types is that like someone else wrote above, they're easy to manipulate. Fi types are much harder to manipulate. Or rather, harder to be persuaded over to my point of view.

Edit: On second thought that's exactly what makes Fe types so frustrating. They would rather listen to what someone else thinks in order to preserve the emotional atmosphere and the other persons values rather than listen to reason.
 

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i don't have a clue as to most people's types and i can't keep all the sub-function talk straight in my mind, so i don't know if i've ever run into it. i wouldn't know what it was if it bit me, which statistics tell me it probably has.
 

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tbh.. The only Fe that annoys me is Fe-Si and the tertiary Fe for some reason.

Aux-Fe is easily influenced by feeding enough data into the perceiving dominant function. A tad manipulative perhaps but hey.
Fe is my tertiary function. It's a tool that I have at my disposal.

Ruling out people based on Fe takes out nearly half the population. That's extremely self-limiting don't you think?
 
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I mean everyone with Fe somewhere within their first four functions. Sometimes it's not even a problem depending on what type they are and what their own personal attributes are, ect, but when it comes to the realm of value decisions there's so much difference there, I just try to stay completely away from it at.



Ah yes, then there's the logical side of the coin too. The aux/dom's I find annoying because of their illogicality. I much prefer Fi aux's (cough totally not looking at you ENFP's lurking this thread).

I would say the only thing I like about Fe types is that like someone else wrote above, they're easy to manipulate. Fi types are much harder to manipulate. Or rather, harder to be persuaded over to my point of view.

Edit: On second thought that's exactly what makes Fe types so frustrating. They would rather listen to what someone else thinks in order to preserve the emotional atmosphere and the other persons values rather than listen to reason.
Yes, we're doormats pliant in your capable hands.



Inflated ego? Check.
 
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Discussion Starter · #18 ·
And talk of manipulating Fe's isn't trying to force values on others?
I think it's more like.. When I try to use much needed logic to reason with an Fe dom/aux about something and they don't listen to me, I can resort to enticing their values to get to the same endpoint.

If I was a feeler then I would be able to do this naturally without realizing the process. But because I am not I see that Fe's are vulnerable to being manipulated.
 

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I think it's more like.. When I try to use much needed logic to reason with an Fe dom/aux about something and they don't listen to me, I can resort to enticing their values to get to the same endpoint.

If I was a feeler then I would be able to do this naturally without realizing the process. But because I am not I see that Fe's are vulnerable to being manipulated.
How is your thinking about it any different than how a Fe operates?
 
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