[The Big S]

I have always been confused of whether I am ISFP or ESFP.

Maybe this might give insight, maybe not.

I have had a strong fear of rejection for as long as I can remember. Each year as school got harder, my life got worse. I think back and realized it was not the homework and complexity that gave me stress, it was the anxiety and stress of failing each class that ruined me.
I was constantly afraid that if I got a single bad grade in a class, a homework assignment, that I would be mocked at, and people would see me as stupid or small.
At badminton, I always lost on purpose to my brother because I was afraid if I tried and lost, he would tell my friends and my family (he does stuff like this) about how he is better than me, and I would be seen as bad at badminton and people would think I exaggerate how good I am and stuff.

I was afraid of my parents seeing bad grades, even though it was always on the back of my mind, it was not as immediate as the others, yet it still did stress me.

EDIT: I mean in 6th grade, I was rejected by a girl, and in 7th grade a girl found out i liked her and rejected me even though i did not ask her out, and both girls told all their friends and made fun of me.
This might have contributed, but by far my life has always been ruled by a fear of rejection even before 6th grade.

 

[Pastelle]

I find fear of rejection is a human trait, not really of the functions. Though I can see the J functions rationalize why rejection is a big deal.

 

[Janna]

I have no theory or fact behind this hunch, and I may very well be wrong, but my hunch is that fear of rejection has some positive correlation with extroversion.

I'm not saying that introverts are immune to fear of rejection, but given that we don't need as much human interaction as extroverts do, it would make sense to me if, on average, it was a bigger concern for extroverts. Not that I'm the poster girl for introversion, but I've always been the rejecting party in relationships, not because there was necessarily anything very wrong with the other person, but just because I want it less than they do and find it easier to give up on the relationship.

 

[Stevester]

I associate this with Fe, but especially in Aux Fe (IxFJs).

These two types tend to live in their heads and can be pretty independent but their Fe parent makes them long for acceptance and being part of a social group and is overall sensitive to how they are perceived by others. If you are familiar with The Simpsons, you know what I mean. Lisa Simpson. Clearly gifted, independent thinker and aware at how she is smarter than everyone else and yet many subplots revolve around her trying to make friends or earn the approval of a adult figure she idolizes. And then there's Marge the quintessential ISFJ mom. Perfectly content in staying home and taking care of her family....or is she? Like Lisa, she also strives to be part of a social group and have a more active life. The eternal struggle of IxFJs in a nutshell.

For ExFJs it's effortless. For ExTPs their popularity also just happens organically.



That being said, yes no type is immune to this. It just depends of your own perception of rejection and what button it presses in you. IxFPs for one can be easily hurt if no one around them sees them for the unique spirit they are. And even thinkers might feel the sting of rejection if people they consider ''cool'' and as intellectual equals do not give them the time of day.