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Did you feel more mature than others during your childhood?

  • No, I was more immature than peers

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My belief is that ISTJ's probably feel similar to myself in that we feel as though we were more mature during the early years of our lives than others. My view was that others just had their priorities backwards, but I'm not every ISTJ.

What was your experience during this period?
Did you have room to mature heavily during your later teens and early twenties growing into adulthood?
What lessons did you learn throughout adolescence?
 

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I definitely felt more mature than my peers! I taught myself to read when I was 3, and in primary school I was immersed in a book while everyone else was playing bullrush (except when I was wandering around the field looking for the door to Narnia :wink:). I didn't find it easy to make friends, nor did I particularly want to associate with my peers (I did get on well with most adults). Mostly, I just wanted to learn and absorb information, hence the incessant reading.

In my early teens I was a bit of a headcase, very snarky, although I still did well in school. It was as if I was trying to use the social techniques that I observed in others, but they just came out wrong :crying:. I also spent as much time as possible in the library. In my later teens I emerged from my self-imposed isolation... kind of. I still keep to myself, to the extent that I can walk past one of my acquaintances at Uni and not even notice them. Socially, I feel less mature than my peers (i.e. fewer street smarts). But intellectually I still feel more mature, and I still get on better with adults than with my peers.

What have I learnt? Cynicism, mostly. How to adapt to the people around me. That maturity does not equate to wisdom. Neither does authority. That not everyone thinks the same way as me (that was a tough one! I found out that my best friend ranked the main characters of a book in a different order to me. Mind blown. :shocked:)
 

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Absolutely. Didn't understand all of the social stuff, so I immersed myself in reading--other kids made fun that I read so much and even of what I read (I would read the entire literature book, even though the teacher didn't assign but certain parts of it.) Books were my friends and my escape (I probably would have ran into you in Narnia, had you found the door, as Lucy, Peter, Edmund, and Susan were all friends of mine:wink:). The books shared their deepest secrets and never mocked you...

Others say I was born old. I act and look almost the same at 47 as I did at 20. People often ask me how it is that I never seem to age. But the inside...now that has changed a lot.

I certainly played with peers my own age, but I also enjoyed hanging around adults and entering into their conversations. I sometimes received funny looks when I would join in, if the adults were unused to a ten year old conversing with a bunch of adults, but most came to be ok with it.

When I attempted to act like my peers and join in their rather juvenile antics, it almost always ended badly for me. I learned that it was best if some things were just left alone. It bothered me greatly to have the disapproval of adults in authority (as long as they were someone I respected). I didn't care what idiotic adults thought about me.

Eventually, my peers out grew there childishness and we began to understand each other better.
 

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My belief is that ISTJ's probably feel similar to myself in that we feel as though we were more mature during the early years of our lives than others. My view was that others just had their priorities backwards, but I'm not every ISTJ.

What was your experience during this period?
Did you have room to mature heavily during your later teens and early twenties growing into adulthood?
What lessons did you learn throughout adolescence?
I felt that I was more mature because I was more focused on my studies as opposed to crushing on people like most of my peers were. That being said, I saw (and still see) myself as being very immature in terms of relationships.

I loved reading as a child too but I didn't see that as a 'mature' quality. It was just a difference in interests.

Looking back, I was very immature (though still more mature than my peers). I don't see myself as very mature in the adult-sense. I haven't had the experiences needed to 'mature' and I feel that my view of the world has been very narrow.

What I learnt during adolescence... it doesn't pay to be the quietly confident one as noone will pick up on it (referring to people in authority, not peers). Extroverts get the (sometimes unwarranted) attention. Actually, perhaps extroverts is the wrong word to use, I guess I should instead be saying that good social skills and networks can override actual technical skill/talent.
 

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i guess i started when i was about 4, i became thrilled on electronics and mechanics, wanting to know how things work...

when i got to teenage years school sucked but i was like the under performing teachers pet as i understood how things worked and i can manipulate how it did things too, such classes like science, metal, design tech (which included a basic electronics for everyone to which the teachers was schocked that i allready knew how to solder but blew them away when i read the scemitic diagram and squeezed all the components on the board so close before the class got the page of instructions on how to do it.)

prices on things became into our family price range and i developed a curiosity for radio comunications and its infrastructure, one great thing about this was CB radio and being able to converse with much older and wiser people, now i pirate amature radio, i also use my own licenced channels and also use my own digital radio infrastructure similar to mobile (cell) phones. the "ham" guys i talk to refuse to beleive im a pirate due to my knowledge and understanding, theroys on how radio, or any transmitting and receiving device works, not limiting myself on the works of radar, dopler effects from bouncing the radio signals off the moon and much more...

i'd never have got like this without being able to make great friends with older people when i was so young, the only reason why i was an under acheiver is i didnt like to write or read (still dont), i am a practical hands on person.
well 07:30 time to sleep, i hope i didnt bore/confuse the heck outta everyone
 
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Discussion Starter #6
i guess i started when i was about 4, i became thrilled on electronics and mechanics, wanting to know how things work...

when i got to teenage years school sucked but i was like the under performing teachers pet as i understood how things worked and i can manipulate how it did things too, such classes like science, metal, design tech (which included a basic electronics for everyone to which the teachers was schocked that i allready knew how to solder but blew them away when i read the scemitic diagram and squeezed all the components on the board so close before the class got the page of instructions on how to do it.)

prices on things became into our family price range and i developed a curiosity for radio comunications and its infrastructure, one great thing about this was CB radio and being able to converse with much older and wiser people, now i pirate amature radio, i also use my own licenced channels and also use my own digital radio infrastructure similar to mobile (cell) phones. the "ham" guys i talk to refuse to beleive im a pirate due to my knowledge and understanding, theroys on how radio, or any transmitting and receiving device works, not limiting myself on the works of radar, dopler effects from bouncing the radio signals off the moon and much more...

i'd never have got like this without being able to make great friends with older people when i was so young, the only reason why i was an under acheiver is i didnt like to write or read (still dont), i am a practical hands on person.
well 07:30 time to sleep, i hope i didnt bore/confuse the heck outta everyone
Maturity is the topic of the thread, not electronics and radio mechanics. You did learn certain topics at a early age. I take it that made you feel older, eh?
 

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Maturity is the topic of the thread, not electronics and radio mechanics. You did learn certain topics at a early age. I take it that made you feel older, eh?
yes mature enough to converse and learn from older people since i was really young
 
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To answer the poll, Yes.


No, this not me thinking I was always better/smarter/faster than everyone. All the way up until college, I had people commenting that I gave off a more "mature" aura, but I think in the end it was more like I was always focused and serious.

But then again, I'm trying to learn to loosen up. Had an ISFJ coworker during an IM conversation tell me that I was always too serious and furling my eyebrow when we talked. My excessive seriousness made her nervous and awkward when we talked.


I'm working on it. If it means losing some of this aura of maturity, so be it! :wink:
 

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What was your experience during this period?
Did you have room to mature heavily during your later teens and early twenties growing into adulthood?
What lessons did you learn throughout adolescence?
I was a good kid most of the time, but I'm not sure if I was really that mature. I hung around kids my age and had fun mostly doing slightly nerdish teenager stuff. I went for 'average', since maturity's a concept that I'm still struggling with, even now.

In my late adolescence I learned to laugh at myself, and to be generous in regards to myself and others. I can't pinpoint the cause for this particular development, it just happened (unless heavy Science Fiction reading has had something to do with it...?)
 

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I felt more mature in a decision making, getting-things-done, and logical aspect but less mature in a social aspects. I'm still maybe about 5 years behind on social aspects. I was completely oblivious to anything social that happened outside of video games during high school. I didn't even know people had parties etc back then.

Extraverted, immature feelers annoy me to no end btw.
 

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I felt more mature in a decision making, getting-things-done, and logical aspect but less mature in a social aspects. I'm still maybe about 5 years behind on social aspects. I was completely oblivious to anything social that happened outside of video games during high school. I didn't even know people had parties etc back then.

Extraverted, immature feelers annoy me to no end btw.
I'm with you on social immaturity. I was this close to joining a dry, geeky, LAN party fraternity freshmen year, but I felt that I needed to grow up and socialize more. I ended up pledging the stereotypical Animal House fraternity the next semester. I'm glad I did, as my social skills grew by leaps and bounds, but my stress levels went through the roof with all the partying, girls (*Shocked Look!!!*), and constant noise around me. I'd often find myself retreating to the local dive bar in the afternoons just to get away from everything and recharge.

But, yeah. Growing up, I was the 2nd youngest in my class, but people thought I was a good 2-4 years older than everyone else. I was also bigger physically, and my voice dropped to the level of Issac Hayes by 14, so my personality made it just that much worse...
 

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I ended up pledging the stereotypical Animal House fraternity the next semester. I'm glad I did, as my social skills grew by leaps and bounds, but my stress levels went through the roof with all the partying
Could never imagine myself getting along with people of that ilk. My quiet, serious, kinda neurotic, impersonal (working to get away from this), and definitely not trendy image wouldn't allow me from walking the same path as you.
 

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Could never imagine myself getting along with people of that ilk. My quiet, serious, kinda neurotic, impersonal (working to get away from this), and definitely not trendy image wouldn't allow me from walking the same path as you.
lol... I went to an engineering college, so it's probably not as bad as it sounds. I had all 30 some guys take a Myers Briggs test when I was an officer, and just about every personality was represented. Obviously, this caused some conflict, but at the same time when we managed to work together, we dominated...
 

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lol... I went to an engineering college, so it's probably not as bad as it sounds. I had all 30 some guys take a Myers Briggs test when I was an officer, and just about every personality was represented. Obviously, this caused some conflict, but at the same time when we managed to work together, we dominated...
In keeping with the title of this thread, you said that you had the others take the MBTI. What was your role in this group? I'm particularly interested in they role(s) you filled, how you got there, how the others perceived you, in relation to the leadership and maturity aspects.
 

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I'm with you on social immaturity. I was this close to joining a dry, geeky, LAN party fraternity freshmen year, but I felt that I needed to grow up and socialize more. I ended up pledging the stereotypical Animal House fraternity the next semester. I'm glad I did, as my social skills grew by leaps and bounds, but my stress levels went through the roof with all the partying, girls (*Shocked Look!!!*), and constant noise around me. I'd often find myself retreating to the local dive bar in the afternoons just to get away from everything and recharge.

But, yeah. Growing up, I was the 2nd youngest in my class, but people thought I was a good 2-4 years older than everyone else. I was also bigger physically, and my voice dropped to the level of Issac Hayes by 14, so my personality made it just that much worse...
!!!! I would have joined the LAN party fraternity. My college just has lame fraternities that just drink beer or something I guess. Just because you're at a LAN party doesn't mean you're not socializing. You're just socializing with your fellow geek.
 

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In keeping with the title of this thread, you said that you had the others take the MBTI. What was your role in this group? I'm particularly interested in they role(s) you filled, how you got there, how the others perceived you, in relation to the leadership and maturity aspects.
Sorry, I didn't realize how long this had gotten... I'm on an Adderall high right now, and I tend to ramble...

My only elected position was Treasurer. I saw an older thread about ISTJs and naturally being good with money and budgeting, and I definitely have to agree with that. Most of the other guys knew I was trustworthy, frugal, and had some knowledge about financial matters. I really didn't have any competition in the election, so I won in a landslide. I reorganized the house's financial practices from two piles of bills, paid and unpaid, and a check book to an actual legitimate accounting system. I budgeted, and started paying down the house's $80,000 debt to our alumni association, and laid the groundwork for good practices in the future. Our national office sends an adviser to the house every year to rate the chapter and offer input for improvement. The chapter's financial score went from the lowest possible to the highest during my time in office.

As far as the leadership aspect of the position, I was the 4th ranking guy in the house, and the three guys above me were useless and/or incompetent. I'm very much a traditionalist, so when people rock the boat too much or neglect to respect the past, I flip out. Our president had no spine and would do whatever the loudest voice in the room told him, which was usually his VP. One of the VPs just wanted the title for his law school application, and didn't do or care about anything his entire term. The other VP was your typical meathead (big, loud, domineering, manipulative, rude, self centered, etc.) and basically wanted to turn the house into a constant party. Our meetings consisted of the president asking us what he should do, and I'd end up fighting with the meathead over what is the best course of action over EVERYTHING. The president ended up resigning and leaving the fraternity two months later to save his own hide when someone tried to hit the chapter with a lawsuit (He really showed his character in that situation). He was replaced with another guy (I think he's an INTJ) and the two of us worked very well together the rest of the year.

As much as I know how much changed for the better during my time in office, I don't think a lot of the chapter noticed, or cared much. By the time my term was up, a growing segment of the house was complaining that dues were too high (because I actually like to pay all the bills), I took too long to reimburse people, I was too easy on alumni that still owed the chapter money but got on actives for being late with payments, etc. Everyone LOVED to criticize me, but nobody offered to help out (I guess I really didn't ask for help, but nevertheless).

That was my only full time leadership position, but the next year I filled in for our Ritual Chair when he transferred schools. This basically was a just lot of scheduling and planning for our initiation and leading the house the week of. The problem with this position usually is that the membership waits until the week of initiation to memorize their parts, and the ritual chair usually sucks at scheduling/time management (something I excel at). Initiation week rolled around, and everyone was impressed how prepared we were, including myself. The night of initiation, I was running the show, and I was more stressed than I had ever been in my life. I'm not used to trying to keep 30 guys on task at once, and of course, there were a few hiccups i didn't account for that freaked me out. I was this close to snapping and walking out at one point, and I basically resorted to just barking orders at people, but we pulled through and finished initiation 5 hours earlier than the previous year, and we initiated 7 more guys. I got a lot of praise from the chapter and some alumni for my leadership that night, even in spite of my freak out.

Looking back on the night, I learned a lot about myself. I don't work well under pressure, and I'm terrible at delegating because I don't trust anyone to do things properly and on schedule. As far as relaying information, I just shouted at people until stuff got done. It wasn't the most effective way of doing things, but I managed to get through the night. If I didn't schedule the night out, I probably would have had a nervous breakdown and left...

As far as the whole fraternity experience goes, I'm glad I joined and would do it again in a heartbeat. I met two of my best friends, and have definitely grown as a person because of the experience. My self confidence has grown tremendously, and I now can pretty much walk up and talk to anyone I need to. I say "need to" because I very rarely want, or see the need in talking to random people, and it is still drains my energy levels to do so. Parties continue to be nightmares at times, though. I picked up smoking as a way of escaping when I start to feel uncomfortable (I've since quit). Alcohol can turn me into an extrovert, but unless I'm feeling great and full of energy when I start drinking, it makes the walls close in around me faster. Anyway, I'm rambling. I'll stop now... Damn you, Adderall!!!
 

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!!!! I would have joined the LAN party fraternity. My college just has lame fraternities that just drink beer or something I guess. Just because you're at a LAN party doesn't mean you're not socializing. You're just socializing with your fellow geek.
I didn't mean it that way. Hell, I used to be one of those geeks in high school. There were some cool-ass guys in that house, but nobody knew it, not even they did. Ultimately, I was looking for a different experience in college than they offered.
 

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Thanks for the reply. Something you said earlier triggered a feeling within me that your experience would have been much as you've described it. And no, it wasn't too long or rambling. I asked a big question because I wanted a big answer.

I've found that if an ISTJ can bite the bullet and force themselves to join a larger organization (something with more than twenty people as members) and will hang around long enough to get elected as an officer of some type, they usually end up running the thing, either directly, or indirectly. We have a lot of hidden leadership talent, but we tend not to exercise that leadership talent unless there is a shortage of good leaders. Then we will do it and others will follow without much protest.

And in the process, we grow immensely.

I've been recommending this (joining some group that you are interested in) to the members of this forum for some time. I hope that they can see what is to be gained by facing your fear of social interaction and just getting out there and doing something.

Thanks for a great post.:happy:
 

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Sorry, I didn't realize how long this had gotten... I'm on an Adderall high right now, and I tend to ramble...
Adderall, interesting. Are you officially diagnosed with some form of ADHD? I know that ADHD basically goes against the description of ISTJ. I've never been officially diagnosed but I looked up ADHD-PI in the DSMV and the description fits me almost 100%. My buddy is diagnosed with ADHD and he convinced me to try it once to see if it affected me in a way that it's supposed to if you have ADHD. That day I caught myself up by reading about 300 pages of textbooks. It made concepts instantly make sense in my head haha.
 
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