[Graleh]

Hi everyone,

Many people at my workplace has performed the personality type test (where you get to know if you are a ISFJ or other). I am the only person who got the introvert version. Me and a really good colleague made this test together (but with each computer) and we both came to the question "Do you prefer going out on a party or staying home with a book" I directly knew my answer. Of course, no doubt, staying home with a book. My colleague exclaimed "What a question!! Who the hell would pick 'staying home with a book'?!". I looked at him with an angry glance and said: "Umm..I would!!". He asked me why and I explained why a group of people make me tired. He said "Ahaaa, I think I understand. I was like that before, but then I just stopped caring about what other people say or do. I just got tired of it". My colleague also said to me "there's nothing wrong with being shy" and I got mad. I am not shy! I just don't like people. I get more out of staying at home taking care of my flowers, my pet, kissing my boyfriend, reading a book, making cookies, painting furniture, wallpapering, or whatever..

One year ago the whole department (60 people) made another personality test (cannot remember the name of it) where you could be a 'red' person (outgoing, harsh, often standing on others toes, egocentric, do not listen to others, wanting to be right all the time and so on), a 'green' person (wanting to negotiate, analytic, kind, listening) and a 'blue' person (not saying what they want, often a victim of the red's and so on).

Everyone except me and two colleagues, resulted in being the red personality. One of us "outsiders" resulted in being the blue personality, the other of us became the green one.

Why is it always like this? I think this is really scary. All the bosses went around and kept telling "Aww! We have to show more space to these blue and green personalities! We want their opinions!". But I haven't noticed anything from this. I still get run over by all these f***g red persons!

Myself, on the other hand, cannot understand how getting energy from other people is possible. When I was 18-20 I was an extrovert. I partied at least two times a week and I met friends and acquaintances every day. I got my energy and "self security" from others and I didn't want to be alone. Even though when I was with people I felt alone and empty. This behavior resulted in a depression and ever since then, I have been an introvert. This was 10 years ago.

I have to tell you about one event at work. I was at one of your big information meetings where the whole department is together. We were divided into groups about 7 colleagues. Of course, I was in a group with extroverts. We got a task to solve and my colleagues starting jibberjabbing. Bla bla bla. Then they started arguing on who was right. I interrupted and said "I think like this.." and then I presented my solution to the problem. Noone listened. I raised my voice and said the same thing. Then some of them, even without looking at me, said "No, that's not good" and then they continued jibbering. Then, time was up and all groups was presented the solution... and as I thought, I was my idea that was correct. I said to my group: "What did I say?" and noone replied me. Noone. One of them just gave me a quick glance, but said nothing. I GOT SO FREAKIN' UPSET! It happens all the time. Overrun by extroverts and noone cares to listen what I have to say. This event completely drained all my energy so I just sat the whole day and did nothing with no participation in the following meetings during that day. I didn't care.

Have you introverts had a similar experience?

So, what do I want to be said by this novel?
Why does it seems like the extroverts are majority, are they? Why are they so egocentric? Not everyone of course, but most of these I have met, are.

How do I feel strength in being an introvert? How do I take place during meetings at work? All the extroverts just keep on jabbering on everything and anything. Bla bla bla. Nothing interesting just bla bla bla. And they claim, and they say.. when I am sitting there quiet with loooots of thoughts and potential solutions to the topic. But when I speak up, noone listen to me.

All thoughts are welcome! roud:

 

[Brown93]

hmm, maybe be a bit more aggressive and assertive?
I dont think it should matter wether you're introverted or extroverted. I know extroverts that no one listens to and there are definately introverts out there that can demand respect and attention. And it's not that they act louder or more "extroverted" - it's just in how they carry themselves. Try to have more confidence?

 

[Graleh]

hmm, maybe be a bit more aggressive and assertive?
I dont think it should matter wether you're introverted or extroverted. I know extroverts that no one listens to and there are definately introverts out there that can demand respect and attention. And it's not that they act louder or more "extroverted" - it's just in how they carry themselves. Try to have more confidence?

And how do I do that? Noone listens to me when I try to speak up.

 

[Brown93]

you just have to make them. Dont be too nice. Say their name(s) and be like "are you listening to me then?!"

 

[Kwaran]

And how do I do that? Noone listens to me when I try to speak up.

This might help: Being assertive: Reduce stress, communicate better

 

[teddy564339]

@Graleh

I think a lot of this may be down to your work environment. I don't know the kind of place that you work, but it sounds like a type of place/company that draws kinds of people who are more competitive or who are looking to dominate. While MBTI-wise this can often happen more with ESTJS and ENTJs, I don't think it has to be down to type...some introverts can do this too, and it can definitely happen with types like ETPs or EFJs too.



I think part of it may be the whole idea of type "A" "B" and "C" personalities...I think that's what the red, green and blue cards represent. If your job is filled with a lot of type A personalities. then naturally they're going to try to control everyone that they can.

So I don't think this is strictly because of the MBTI. I think it's probably down to your work environment being one that adheres to people being more competitive and doing everything they can to achieve what they want.


I don't think people like this are trying to put anyone down...but I think they view their work more like a competition, and they probably feel like in life the goal is to take whatever you can. There's probably a bit of ego involved as well, but they probably don't think that at work feelings are of as much importance.


I think one thing that helps is not to be bothered by it as much. If you feel like you're doing a good job, and you feel like you're doing what you're supposed to do...why does it matter what your co-workers think? Unless there's an issue that you have with one of your bosses, then a lot of times I don't think you really even need to worry about people you don't like. They don't have to be your friends.

I do think it helps to find friends at work, but these don't have to be everyone.


But if you're truly unhappy there and can't seem to find any solutions, you may want to consider finding a new job, too. I know that not all extroverts or people are like this....there are plenty of people who don't always try to one-up others or ignore others.

 

[I Kant]

Hmm... would this work:

"I have an idea. It is [insert idea here]. I think it would be useful for [insert your reason it seems useful here]. Do you think it would help the situation?"

But perhaps it wouldn't work. But it is a similar sort of format to when I throw in my two cents into a group.