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I tend to feel that there might be something severely wrong with me if I don't understand people/the world as much as I'd ideally want to. I play to gather as much information as I can even at this age.

I don't know why, I can't explain it or maybe I haven't found a way to really rationalize it yet.

The thing is, I know I'm introverted. I actually can get drained easily by too much social interaction, when I don't see the meaning or point behind it. So I don't really care about having a full social life, any of that stuff and seriously, I can still be content even if there's only very few people who love me completely in my life. I just care more about the exploring aspect (actually, I care too much). I feel I want to understand more deeply about the world of consciousness amongst human beings. I do this by; tapping into my intuitive side, understanding my own subjective world and trying to find out how it can mirror others in certain aspects even though human nature is vastly diverse, forum searching (posting haha) and hunting for articles on the internet.

I also like to understand more about other people's values, I do that by tons of reading and stuff.

I'm not entirely sure on all the reasons that lead to me having this kind of condition..It could be because of my Enneagram Type 4 personality, which goal is mainly centred on identity/meaning. Perhaps I just like to uncover meanings that would contribute to my identity. I like the idea of being fundamentally different, but I don't like the idea that I might be too different that I can't understand why other people live the way I do.

Or in my best friend's words,''Izz, sometimes you should really stop being too nosy.''

Why am I like that?:confused:

People often mistaken my obsessive need to explore as a sign of extroversion. Actually, it's an obsession I often wonder about.
 

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Cafe Legend and MOTM Jan 2011
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I feel like I am so often in the minority that I can't relate to others anywhere near as well as I would like. I have trouble understanding other people. I usually can't imagine the reasons for their priorities. When I was younger, I used to think it was because I was more intelligent than my peers, and while I usually was, I doubt that was the reason for the difference. I used to think they would grow up to understand, and then they would end up with priorities more like mine as they matured. I was just arrogant, I guess. It turns out they really were just different. I still think everyone else is insane. I don't know how to relate to being anything but what I am or what I can imagine being. Everything else is outside of my awareness.
 
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