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Feeling guilty when health isn't perfect

1707 Views 13 Replies 13 Participants Last post by  Laughmore
Do any other INFPs feel guilty when they go to the doctor or dentist and have some sort of health issue? Like, even if it's not your fault? I went to the dentist this morning and had mild decay in a wisdom tooth and felt like it was a character flaw. :ssad: I'm such a perfectionist.
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I do! But it's mostly just in the moment and I don't really beat myself up over it. I'm just well aware that no one is perfect, everyone has flaws, and accept any changes that come to my character. That mild decay in your tooth is nothing to feel guilty about :laughing: Even if you have to get your tooth removed or something, embrace it! Doesn't make you any less of a super awesome person. In my opinion, that's one less tooth to have to worry about, lol.
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Yeah, I can feel ashamed....like I am some gross person who doesn't take care of themselves. But dentists are scammers who play on that to get money out of your for treatments you don't need too.... It's not a deep shame, but they manage to make you feel bad.
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Nope. I guess I don't have a high value of physical health. I feel like that's just life, you're in the process of falling apart from the day you're born till you die. I rarely think about health unless I'm actually in pain, and I don't feel like I've 'failed' in any way because of whatever ails me. You can eat health food and vitamins, you can keep clean and use products for healthy hair and skin, you can exercise and get fresh air and sun, you can do all the right things but it won't make you live forever and it won't prevent you from ever getting sick or injured or having one of the millions of possible physical ailments that can befall people (especially since some things are hereditary so there's really not much you could do), so to me it's not really worth being overly concerned about, nor making your life even more uncomfortable in the attempt to be healthy than you would be just dealing with some of the minor things anyway.

However perfect health is definitely one of my husband's ideals and I can tell he always feels disappointed in himself when something is wrong, although he has mostly accepted that his family just has bad teeth. I do tend to resent feeling like he thinks I ought to feel guilty when I have a cold or a headache or pull a muscle or something, because while I care about the discomfort I don't care about the principle of 'not being healthy'. It is interesting to me though to see how much that affects his mood, how he'll go all disgusted with the world for being such an unhealthy place and all disillusioned with himself for succumbing to it. And I'm just thinking 'dude, it's not your fault, it's just life.' One would have to be pretty extreme in disregarding any health reccomendations for me to feel like they were really to 'blame' for their ailment.
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Nope. So much is beyond my control. Especially viruses. I just walk into their office and say "Fix me up Doc!"
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No. Why would I be?
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I feel guilty about being unwell when I have to take a sick day from work. I feel like it makes me a flawed and unvaluable employee, and like I'm letting everybody down. In reality I have no control over falling ill or not. I also suffer from depression and beat myself up a lot over it. It's something I am working on :)
Do any other INFPs feel guilty when they go to the doctor or dentist and have some sort of health issue? Like, even if it's not your fault? I went to the dentist this morning and had mild decay in a wisdom tooth and felt like it was a character flaw. :ssad: I'm such a perfectionist.
Sigh. Gonna throw a monkey wrench in here.

I *know* INFPs are perfectionists who are too hard on themselves. On the other hand, not attending to your teeth can lead to real problems down the road.

If you have been brushing/flossing, don't sweat it so much: some people have more susceptible teeth than others.
OTOH, if you brush your teeth once every 2 weeks and don't floss, .... the bacteria simply don't care if you're a good person or not. :shocked:

For things of maintenance of one's health, I've learned over time it's best to make a mindless habit out of a few good habits.

Best wishes. :happy:
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Oh yes, of course not caring for one's dental health is a terrible idea! But I take scrupulous care of my teeth and am thus going to take even more scrupulous care from now on! It's just these little things, you know? I tend to think everything is my fault! A frustrating and pointless habit but one that is very difficult to break. Thanks for your answer, by the way!
wisdom teeth are EXTREMELY hard to take care of....otoh, there are times when health problems are emotional. and INFPs are rife for suppressing emotion. like we are the little jesuses of the world atoning for ourselves and others. . i've been real healthy for decades. got skin cancer and tried every natural remedy in the book (almost. to try every remedy would cost millions). when i was young even my handwriting showed in an analysis that i was suppressing things. so now i gotta start releasing all this junk....not saying this was what your post was about. but just seems like we infp love to feel guilt. we need to get more T about it.
Do any other INFPs feel guilty when they go to the doctor or dentist and have some sort of health issue? Like, even if it's not your fault? I went to the dentist this morning and had mild decay in a wisdom tooth and felt like it was a character flaw. :ssad: I'm such a perfectionist.
yes. I get mad at myself. I feel embarrassed that I'm sick when I go to the doctor's. I feel like I am failing at life whenever I am ill or otherwise impaired.
I get real concerned when I go to have my annual checkup and I find out I have slightly higher than ideal bp or my glucose is right at the threshold that would be considered "high".

But then again those things are dynamic, and and I have had times were both were more than ideal..so when I think about it like that, I begin to not sweat it as much. And I also know that I have some control over these things for the most part.
I give myself a really hard time for being overweight, even though for my build and body type it's not by that much. (I'm on the tall and curvy side, and fat distributes very evenly on my body). Scales and mirrors are my enemies, and I keep thinking that I should be taking better care of myself.
I do feel guilty for consequences of my own abuse or neglect as a general rule, and I feel very responsible for my own health.

So when I have some physical ailment, I have the perfectionist (but in my mind, pragmatic) thought: "If I had been living closer to my ideals, this could have been avoided." The sense of responsibility gives me a feeling of control over change and results, influencing my lifestyle, etc.

I forgive myself and don't judge my character from physical ailments, but it's a short leap from feeling guilty for neglecting ideals. If I think I could have prevented it, I do fight the notion of guilt - the antagonistic, internal question of "well why didn't you ___" resonates continuously...

The only true prevention of guilt for me is looking back and feeling like I was doing my best, and that's a tall order.
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