[Neobick]

As an INTP or maybe more as myself, I have always been feeling inferior when accompanied by estp. I have accepted myself generally, no problems with my self-image, except when hanging around my ESTP friend. Always so direct, fast, decisive, popular. He have no interest in my skills, or my skills hasnt any value for him, I believe. So to the problem, my flaws shine when Im near this person, so I get into this loop, "Why is this guy friends with me, seems to me Im just a leech, not contributing anything to this at all".

This is whining or self-pity at the highest level, and "Its not you, its me"

But seriously, do you think people in your surroundings feel the same way about you?
Is this a game, are you selling yourself to the other person?

Any thoughts?

 

[GreenCoyote]

um... well here is the issue.

you expect him to give you something in return for what you provide for him.
he obviously enjoys your knowledge and prolly respects it.

but dude.
drop the fool.

you are in too much pain amigo.
find someone you CAN relate to.
maybe stop thinking about typing for a bit and just hang with good (for you!) people.

 

[teddy564339]

As an INTP or maybe more as myself, I have always been feeling inferior when accompanied by estp. I have accepted myself generally, no problems with my self-image, except when hanging around my ESTP friend. Always so direct, fast, decisive, popular. He have no interest in my skills, or my skills hasnt any value for him, I believe. So to the problem, my flaws shine when Im near this person, so I get into this loop, "Why is this guy friends with me, seems to me Im just a leech, not contributing anything to this at all".

This is whining or self-pity at the highest level, and "Its not you, its me"

This sounds like an ISFJ post.


I see what you're saying, and in some ways I used to feel the same way about an ESTJ I know. Like GreenCoyote said, if the person is your friend, then none of these feelings should affect your friendship...if the ESTP is getting nothing out of the friendship or if you're not enjoying yourself around this person, you shouldn't be friends with them (and IMO, it's not much of a friendship anyway).

But it's possible your friend values things about you that you haven't thought about. And that should be enough in a friendship..."skills" don't matter.

That was my problem with my ESTJ friend....I always felt like he was so much "cooler" than me, and that I had nothing to offer in the friendship. One time I told him about it over an email, and he was shocked...he said the notion of him being "cooler" had never even crossed his mind and that he just enjoyed having me as a friend. From that point on I tried to stop thinking of it in terms of comparing us...I instead focused on just enjoying his company. I'm not saying those thoughts don't creep back up sometimes, but I've found I'm much happier when I ignore them and just enjoy the friendship.

 

[TreeBob]

I don't know if dropping your friend is the answer. I think he'd probably be upset by that. If you are feeling worthless and undervalued I would suggest talking to him. I know I like one on one conversations. I get on great with my xNTP friends.

 

[elvis2010]

As an INTP or maybe more as myself, I have always been feeling inferior when accompanied by estp. I have accepted myself generally, no problems with my self-image, except when hanging around my ESTP friend. Always so direct, fast, decisive, popular. He have no interest in my skills, or my skills hasnt any value for him, I believe.

The whole key to your statement is that you "feel inferior". Most of the INTPs I know are competitive, and I just don't get it. Clearly, he enjoys your company. I don't get why you just can't enjoy his.

Sure, there are times to be direct and decisive, but there are a lot of times to be subtle and reflective which you probably do better than your friend.

When you are in your teens and 20s, everything is a competition. Then life throws you a curve ball, and competitiveness becomes much less important than cooperation and harmony. You don't need to compete with this guy.

 

[dagnytaggart]

You're feeling inferior because you have inferior feeling.

 

[Neobick]

Haha thanks guys. Last comment was gold. All the answers were helpful in some way or another.

Yeah, it was some kind of small depression-like state I was in when I posted this, right now everything works fine.

 

[GreenCoyote]

Haha thanks guys. Last comment was gold. All the answers were helpful in some way or another.

Yeah, it was some kind of small depression-like state I was in when I posted this, right now everything works fine.

fyi though... feelings in relationships have a way of re-surfacing.

many stories are repeated through our exsistence here on earth...