Personality Cafe banner

1 - 20 of 25 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
691 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 · (Edited)
I'm a 20 year old ISFP college student, and this past year, I don't know why, but I have felt hopelessly bored and lazy. It's like every time I do work really hard to achieve a purpose or goal that I become passionate about and truly want for myself, and then fail, I go into an apathetic and avoidant Se mode and stop caring or trying. Last year, I was really getting my heart set on vocal performance, but then I didn't nail the audition, just as I feared I wouldn't, and stop caring. The past isn't something that I actively obsess over, like an Si type, but rejection really does bug me. Thus, I will go online, get caught up in stupid fictional fandoms, stop trying in school, and feel hopelessly numb and empty. I want to care about school, but I don't know how to when I seem to have no purpose, and walk around like a zombie. Even things like music, writing, and English that I once so enjoyed seem to be passing interests that I'm no longer so passionate about.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
697 Posts
I know what you mean when I feel let down it can take a while to pull myself out of it. Sometimes it passes soon enough but it can be hard to get motivated .I can be rather indifferent and go through the motions or just flat out lazy unless I find something that interest me or care about enough to be motivated. I also get caught up in things to distract me(fictional fandoms yes) I will watch numerous episodes of a tv show I like or movies I have been meaning to watch,anything to distract me from feeling a lack of purpose.

I know some would find that idiotic and you just do what you have to but I like to have some purpose and feel like I make some kind of difference. Ni maybe? I'm not sure.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,543 Posts
This kind of feeling is beginning to be a normal stage of human life due to technological advancements causing deper insights into human reality.

Check your vitamin D levels and other stuff. Meditate and use your Ni to get some insights about what your current state is.

If that dont work, try some serotonin enhancement drugs to flush your brain with some happiness. Otherwise try coffee, modafinil, ritalin, aderall for cognitive/motivation boosts.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
691 Posts
Discussion Starter · #5 ·
LOL! I'm on Vyvanse and Paxil. I literally don't know what the hell is wrong with me, and since I failed at music the first time and didn't get what I wanted last year, I have been stuck. Now, I even have a chance to audition somewhere else again, and I don't even know whether or not I want to do it or it's worth it again. I feel like a part of me might want to major in English or Creative Writing, but it's like I don't know if that will work to resurrect my motivation. I'm a nice person, and actually quite empathetic. But I need to talk to other people more often, get more friends, and stop isolating myself. But every time I do I just feel like I'm invisible, everyone talks at me rather than to me, and I'm too small, quiet, and insignificant in the eyes of everyone, but my family and closest friends. In short, I guess I want to be appreciated for doing something that I love, but I've gotten the message that I'm never good enough to do what I want because I'm too little, timid, boring, and incapable of better things from objective experience. It's like I'm a hollow zombie. I know that I'm capable of better things, but I feel like whenever I DO actually get excited and passionate enough to take things seriously, no one else does because whenever I do get that way I go into my overly idealistic Fi - Ni mode in comparison to my Se-Te laid back mode where the only time my Fi comes out is in fantasy because everything else inside me just feels meaningless. It's a self-induced depression and numbness that I'm feeling inside, but I just don't know how to snap out of it because I'm not someone who's good at expressing my true feelings through direct words other than through what I feel personally connected to. Maybe, I need therapy, but even that's hard to do at this point where I feel that I'm just in too deep.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
67 Posts
I totally understand how you feel, I go through this very often, I've learned that forcing yourself is sometimes the best thing. Just using that willpower from Se and channeling that Inferior Te a bit to just try, it helps and you feel proud looking back at how you tried whether or not you succeeded or failed.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
697 Posts
That's true that inferior Te can be helpful along with Se. When I go through a very productive phase it actually feels pretty good to use the more aggressive side of myself(in a good way) It may come in spurts but's surprising how much I can get done.

Another thing that can help is some kind of physical exercise.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
691 Posts
Discussion Starter · #8 ·
That's true that inferior Te can be helpful along with Se. When I go through a very productive phase it actually feels pretty good to use the more aggressive side of myself(in a good way) It may come in spurts but's surprising how much I can get done.

Another thing that can help is some kind of physical exercise.
Yep, that's exactly like me. I'll go through an aggressively productive phase when I get really passionate about accomplishing something for myself, and then I'll go through what I suppose could be termed as an existential and/or nihilistic phase of utter laziness, stop feeling any motivation, stop caring, and try to avoid the feelings of total apathy in my real life by getting into fantasy and social media, getting kind of addicted to it until I find another thing or passion in real life through a goal that personally sparks my desire to care enough to try again. That's not a healthy way to live because I know that I can't always accomplish what I want for myself, and failing to achieve a personal goal that you're really passionate about is a very natural part of life, but I think the rejection and failure of it is a really big reason to subconsciously lose a desire to care or try for a lot of Fi-doms, especially the Fi-Se's who live in the present moment, have a tendency to get stuck in their own heads with self-loathing or meaninglessness when they have no purpose of personal interest that they are working towards, and try to avoid real life by isolating themselves with fictional worlds, characters that they can relate to, and romances, so they don't have to focus on the feeling of being lost, and not being able to do what they want with their own lives.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
697 Posts
Yep, that's exactly like me. I'll go through an aggressively productive phase when I get really passionate about accomplishing something for myself, and then I'll go through what I suppose could be termed as an existential and/or nihilistic phase of utter laziness, stop feeling any motivation, stop caring, and try to avoid the feelings of total apathy in my real life by getting into fantasy and social media, getting kind of addicted to it until I find another thing or passion in real life through a goal that personally sparks my desire to care enough to try again. That's not a healthy way to live because I know that I can't always accomplish what I want for myself, and failing to achieve a personal goal that you're really passionate about is a very natural part of life, but I think the rejection and failure of it is a really big reason to subconsciously lose a desire to care or try for a lot of Fi-doms, especially the Fi-Se's who live in the present moment, have a tendency to get stuck in their own heads with self-loathing or meaninglessness when they have no purpose of personal interest that they are working towards, and try to avoid real life by isolating themselves with fictional worlds, characters that they can relate to, and romances, so they don't have to focus on the feeling of being lost, and not being able to do what they want with their own lives.

I have fewer really bad bouts with it now but I can still feel that way. I do focus on certain things now and try to make a difference in various ways. I have a couple of things I'm passionate about and seem to do more in those areas.Saving animals and encouraging reading in children.Sometimes it's just things I do online other times it's more personal . I feel like I do better in those areas so I stick to that .I have other things I care about too but I'm not one that can spread myself too thin.I still feel aimless at times.What's next? But having a couple of things I am passionate about helps.

I know that nihilistic feeling. I feel better when there is something positive to focus on even in the down times it helps.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
131 Posts
I can relate. Our culture today highly values efficiency and an industrious work ethic. ISFP's are slow-moving creatures who like to chew on things for awhile, and often we get pegged as "lazy". We're kind of like... The Ents in Lord of the Rings. Sometimes when I'm forced to be too industrious, I can lose my passion for my work because it feels forced. Sometimes the best thing when you feel like this is to just put down whatever it is you have to work on, and go for a nice long walk out in nature. Sometimes I'll bring a sandwich and go on a walk that takes a half a day, just enjoying the surroundings, or talking with the people I run into. I allow myself to avoid work on my walk, and then when I get back, I'm ready to start again on my artwork.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
254 Posts
That's a really typical situation for Fi-doms to be in. I have personally struggled with similar problems for a year now. It is caused by a lack of a healthy balance between Fi and inferior Te. Your dominant function needs to feel a sort of personal purpose, but inferior Te in an unhealthy state will make you feel like nothing matters because you don't feel like you have the power to change anything in the external world. Your inferior function alone isn't going to help you get out of the place you're in, so the best thing to do is to try and use Se in a more exiting way, and then become more aware of your Ni and how it can help you feel a sense of direction. I'm really not an expert but I've had a lot of problems myself so I would love to be able to help. Send me a private message whenever if you'd like to talk.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
697 Posts
I can relate. Our culture today highly values efficiency and an industrious work ethic. ISFP's are slow-moving creatures who like to chew on things for awhile, and often we get pegged as "lazy". We're kind of like... The Ents in Lord of the Rings. Sometimes when I'm forced to be too industrious, I can lose my passion for my work because it feels forced. Sometimes the best thing when you feel like this is to just put down whatever it is you have to work on, and go for a nice long walk out in nature. Sometimes I'll bring a sandwich and go on a walk that takes a half a day, just enjoying the surroundings, or talking with the people I run into. I allow myself to avoid work on my walk, and then when I get back, I'm ready to start again on my artwork.
I love a good walk either at my local park(a good walking park ) or away from everything ,or shop and walk around look at different things even if I don't buy anything. It's a good way to clear your head but also enjoy the different senses.
The phrases march you your own drummer,not a leader or a follower fits so well. think in all honesty it's one reason Fi dom's sometimes get labeled selfish or indifferent (even if it's the last thing we feel) it can be seen as not caring about others which can be hurtful.But were also the last people to actively hurt others.

Other things that help for me listening to music but be careful don't listen to anything that makes you too sad when your down. I also like looking at things. Not just shopping but interesting photographs(animals people,nature anything like that.)
 

·
Registered
INFP - 5w4
Joined
·
243 Posts
Actually my dear ISFP, the lazyness you talk about, is for me a real pleasure and a real activity ;)

I think you need to relax: you separate activity from others and judge it to be... bad.
And actually, it is a part of your life. ;)

You'll do "Se" action when you'll feel good about it.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
235 Posts
That's true that inferior Te can be helpful along with Se. When I go through a very productive phase it actually feels pretty good to use the more aggressive side of myself(in a good way) It may come in spurts but's surprising how much I can get done.

Another thing that can help is some kind of physical exercise.
Yes, yes, yes! My ISFP partner retreats into disappointment when the outside world doesn't match his idealized world. A healthy dose of Se really helps him.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
771 Posts
I feel like this exactly. I don't know what to do with myself at the moment.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
77 Posts
Te's useful. Rejection is very demotivating. You have to make people understand why they should care about your craft, and well, that may take many tries. They don't know who you are.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
235 Posts
Yeah, I'm 21 and in school for psychology, but I have no plans on actually pursuing a career in the field. I don't really know what I'm good at, nor what I like enough to devote my life to. So at the moment, the extent of my external, objective ambition is to show up for my grocery clerk job morning shift tomorrow.
 
  • Like
Reactions: penny lane

·
Registered
Joined
·
49 Posts
I'm also very lazy and the more I'm alone the lazier I get hhh...
If I'm not in the right environment, if I'm not surrounded by the right people it actually is possible that I get as lazy that I could stay all day at home doing literally nothing, thinking about things I should actually do, procrastinating and being on the internet.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,338 Posts
I hate to push prescription pills, but adderall helped me get 2 degrees and was able to function like a "normal" person. I was able to be productive. The downside, I no longer take the medication and feel completely worthless, aimless and without motivation :(.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
113 Posts
I've spent years trying to learn how to be productive. I tried to use an add-on on my browser to block out time wasting websites. It worked for a couple days, then I just ended up disabling it. I've tried so many methods... still lazy. Like many previous comments have said, inferior Te can only be used for short spurts. Either I'm in it 100% or I'm not in it at all. Meditation can help a bit as it has helped me with focus. At the same time, I think it's made me realize that being "lazy" might just be my nature. Maybe it's not that I'm lazy, but uninspired. Idk.

There definitely needs to be some sort of immediate pay off in order for me to do something. If not, despite understanding the future benefits of doing that something, its likely it won't happen. It's a bit easy to get discouraged when you don't see the results right away. But it's not a hopeless situation! We definitely can get off our butts if we put our mind to it. Keep reminding yourself why whatever it may be is important and just take it one step at a time (emphasis on 1 step at a time, looking at the whole picture can be discouraging). At least, that's what I tell myself.

Good luck you lazy bastard ISFPs. I BELIEVE IN U GUYS AND INFPs TOO T_T
 
1 - 20 of 25 Posts
Top