I constantly suffer from this problem, and it can get SO frustrating. It's like I am trapped in a constant cycle of misery because I WANT to be content and happy... But after I do have moments of happiness with friends etc I go home and feel like a complete fraud. I am constantly striving to be living in some- any- kind of TRUTH where I can really be me (whoever that is) which has thus far been impossible.
feeling like a fake version of yourself
do you ever feel like you're a fake, illusory version your ideal self?
some stuff has recently happened in my life that has got me in a pretty reflective, depressed mood, and i can't help but feel like i'm currently missing everything that makes me 'me'. i go through the same motions but am only half present for my reality. it's almost sounds like typical depression related stuff, but i have this bad feeling as if i'm waking up into a world where i no longer know myself or the world.
it's not that i think i've been lying to myself or think i won't snap out of this eventually, but it's like i can't do ANYTHING without completely over-analyzing it. asking questions like 'is this really me?', 'is this really how i am?', 'is what i just said really what i meant?', etc. etc.. i usually love how well i can listen to people with an open mind and open ears, but i find myself so locked up in my head lately.
i haven't been around good friends lately who get me and i think that is part of it. when stuff i do and say continually gets taken the wrong way i almost start to believe that everyone else has a better idea of my words and actions than i do, rather than stay confident in myself and let them eventually see their misconceptions.
perhaps it stems down to low self confidence right now, mixed with some stress and deep introspection. hopefully i'll bounce back and be more confident than ever once something clicks inside my head, but for now it's frustrating and affecting my relationships.
anyone else ever feel this way or have any advice on what to do about it?
some stuff has recently happened in my life that has got me in a pretty reflective, depressed mood, and i can't help but feel like i'm currently missing everything that makes me 'me'. i go through the same motions but am only half present for my reality. it's almost sounds like typical depression related stuff, but i have this bad feeling as if i'm waking up into a world where i no longer know myself or the world.
it's not that i think i've been lying to myself or think i won't snap out of this eventually, but it's like i can't do ANYTHING without completely over-analyzing it. asking questions like 'is this really me?', 'is this really how i am?', 'is what i just said really what i meant?', etc. etc.. i usually love how well i can listen to people with an open mind and open ears, but i find myself so locked up in my head lately.
i haven't been around good friends lately who get me and i think that is part of it. when stuff i do and say continually gets taken the wrong way i almost start to believe that everyone else has a better idea of my words and actions than i do, rather than stay confident in myself and let them eventually see their misconceptions.
perhaps it stems down to low self confidence right now, mixed with some stress and deep introspection. hopefully i'll bounce back and be more confident than ever once something clicks inside my head, but for now it's frustrating and affecting my relationships.
anyone else ever feel this way or have any advice on what to do about it?
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