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Title says it. This feeling is heightened during the weekends. Everyone I know has their group of friends, people they grew up, people they spent their last few years with, and people they BELONG with. And during the weekend, everyone goes to spend time with these people in their lives. And i'm sitting here wondering how I've gotten to this point in my life. I've always had a lonely life (minus a few friends from h/s who have all drifted now), but Friday nights seem to reopen these wounds. This feeling is even more heightened when I realize that a person I like (as a friend or romantically) has one of these groups of people he/she belongs to. I start thinking of all the special people in their life, and I have a feeling of warmness and I'm genuinely glad that this person has these people he can look to in his life, friends to go to, friends that have become family, people they can share good and bad news with. And I'm happy that this person (friend, or someone I care about) has a community that accepts him/her. But then I feel a hint of sadness that becomes more and more overwhelming, because I realize I'm not part of that community he belongs to. Or ANY community for that matter. I'll always be an outsider. And days like today, I want to cry, but not too much. Just enough to let the emotions out, but not enough to become defeated by my own emotions. This too shall pass. and tomorrow morning, I'll walk around with my head up. But that feeling will still be there. and tonight.... I wait for the pizza delivery guy and do my laundry, I wash the dishes, I clean my room, I write my thoughts here with no specific aim or direction. Sorry guys, I wish I could make more sense, but I'll just leave my thoughts at this tonight.
 

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Just want to say I went through this too when I was at school.. I'd go out whenever I could, see someplace new, take classes and spend time at different libraries. Nowadays I do simpler things like sitting outside with the trees. I have family, but I'd like to have something I can call my own. Friends, etc. Family supports me, but it's different. It's not so close also. The underlying issue may really have nothing to do with people though. Just hang in there.Do something special for yourself when you can, to realign yourself,just so you know you're always in control and that your emotions don't have to be the result of what environment you're currently in.
 

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When I feel lonely, I try to make myself go outside, just to see other people, even if I don't talk to them. I could go for a walk downtown, or just take a bus to nowhere and back again. I like travelling and watching people and even if I don't talk to them, it makes me feel less lonely than just sitting at home doing nothing...
 

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:blushed:
Title says it. This feeling is heightened during the weekends. Everyone I know has their group of friends, people they grew up, people they spent their last few years with, and people they BELONG with. And during the weekend, everyone goes to spend time with these people in their lives. And i'm sitting here wondering how I've gotten to this point in my life. I've always had a lonely life (minus a few friends from h/s who have all drifted now), but Friday nights seem to reopen these wounds. This feeling is even more heightened when I realize that a person I like (as a friend or romantically) has one of these groups of people he/she belongs to. I start thinking of all the special people in their life, and I have a feeling of warmness and I'm genuinely glad that this person has these people he can look to in his life, friends to go to, friends that have become family, people they can share good and bad news with. And I'm happy that this person (friend, or someone I care about) has a community that accepts him/her. But then I feel a hint of sadness that becomes more and more overwhelming, because I realize I'm not part of that community he belongs to. Or ANY community for that matter. I'll always be an outsider. And days like today, I want to cry, but not too much. Just enough to let the emotions out, but not enough to become defeated by my own emotions. This too shall pass. and tomorrow morning, I'll walk around with my head up. But that feeling will still be there. and tonight.... I wait for the pizza delivery guy and do my laundry, I wash the dishes, I clean my room, I write my thoughts here with no specific aim or direction. Sorry guys, I wish I could make more sense, but I'll just leave my thoughts at this tonight.

Hi Miss Curious!!!
Forgive me..... but this shall pass. But for us, it can be a very painful experience. When we are going through this, sometimes I just do not have the energy to try anything. It is painstakingly difficult to sometimes get out of this feeling that seems to be all around us. Are feelings can get so meshed that we cannot seem to snap out of it. That's when we have to at some point either try and be willing to do something different, or sometimes ride the storm and do nothing. I'd prefer to force myself to call in the amunitions. Let the people that are close to me know what I am going through and get their attention!!! We have to reach out and communicate this in order for the ones that love you for who you are to give you a hand.
And there are times to get out of self and do things for others. Why do we do this? Because it helps us not to think about it and be of service to others that need us. As INFJ's, we are courageous individuals but do not show it. We are willing to take chances in life. We have or will go through situations that we never thought we had it in us, and we will continue to go through life on life's term and know how to handle situatiions that used to baffle us.
Be strong Miss Curious and know that the INFJ's in this world and a lot of others love you!!!:blushed:
 

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When I feel lonely, I try to make myself go outside, just to see other people, even if I don't talk to them. I could go for a walk downtown, or just take a bus to nowhere and back again. I like travelling and watching people and even if I don't talk to them, it makes me feel less lonely than just sitting at home doing nothing...
Hehe, I do this too. :blushed: Sometimes I talk to strangers, too. Even though I'll never see these people again, that short connection makes me feel less lonely.

With a close-knit community you'll get security and that safe fuzzy feeling of belonging but also a lot of obligations. I don't know about you but I don't know if I could handle that. I am sorry to hear about your feelings though, a huge wave of compassion moved in me and I could relate and I also appreciate your honesty, even here on the forums. *if I could, I'd send you a big, tight hug through the internet*.

I've gotten involved with different volunteer projects and that doesn't only occupy me, but also satisfy me when I can help and connect with others. It's also a great venue to get to know other, probably very like-minded, interesting people. I recommend, if you'll have time and the interest.

Internet friends are also precious, and if remained anonymous, even less of a risk than irl ones. I'd say connecting is just a vital human experience, and especially to us INFJs? We live for that? Talk to people you trust, share your insecurities and fears, and be surprised by the feedback, and probably by the even grown closeness and openness. I guarantee, that it will make you feel less lonely, even if you're physically removed from these people.

Or.. Have you considered talking to this boy about this? Or perhaps you could join his "crowd" sometime, and hang with them?

Good luck and lots of strength. I'm young myself too, but I think over time things will also get better and better for us as we find our niches among people so to speak.
 

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I hear you. I often get stuck in routine where I will spend five consecutive weekends running about with my friends, and then two or three where nothing happens and I'm stuck at home.

At those times when I'm stuck at home, I'll feel abit like a caged animal. I'll pace around, half-heartedly play videogames, and generally be mopey. But I try to remind myself that it's only an effect of routine and that I do need alone time in my life as well to be able to "recharge". After which I'm ready to go the next time a new opportunity arises.

I hope this helps!
 

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I know exactly what you're talking about. In fact, I could have written this myself! Most Friday nights, I'm at home alone, too, and it's one of the worst feelings of isolation.

Like some others have suggested, don't sit at home. Go out for dinner to a semi-busy place and watch people. Force yourself to talk to your waiter/waitress. No one will connect with you if you're hiding and they don't know you exist.

Also, plan fun things. Rent a movie you've really been wanting to see, or find a new recipe to try out. Once you have your plans, invite someone over. Enthusiastically tell them about your plans; sell yourself, so to speak, so that it sounds like something they'd like to join you for.

Finally, don't expect to have plans every weekend. Most people's lives are less exciting than they seem from the outside. Really. But the flip side of that is, our lives are only as exciting as we make them.

I hope this helps. Good luck.
 

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I can relate as well. You did get some good suggestions.
 

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curious - Do your family not live near to you or are you not in touch with them?

I've never had close friends. I've always felt seperate from them, like I could understand their problems but they could never understand mine. I know that probably sounds arrogent and self absorved but it's how I always feel. And even if I were to explain to them my feelings I worry that they will only be able to sympathise not empathise.

I'm living away from home now and I am coping surprisingly well! I thought I'd feel even more alone but it's actually not much different to being at home I have people around me who are friendly and I get along with but I still do my own thing like at home. It's only been two weeks though so things may or may not change over the next month or so!

I'm beginning to wonder if I am supposed to be feeling home sick because all of my housemates are talking about going home to their families over Halloween and I have no intention of going home until December for the 4 week holiday...I even asked my family if they miss me and want me to come home sooner and they just say "It's up to you" well thanks guys it's nice to know that you miss me.

I keep hearing around me that University is where you will make friends for life and I keep thinking yeah right! I'm just not the sort of person that has friends. If that makes sense. Even though I would love to find a few people who I can really connect with and we 'get' each other.

I get jealous when I see groups of friends who have known each other for years and years and have stuck by each other like a family.

(I sometimes wonder if I'm a bit of a snob)
 

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When I was back home and feeling lonely I would go to the theatre of the cinema by myself. I even went to a Medieval Festival on my own because none of my family wanted to go.

It's scary at first but quite liberating! I think I enjoyed it more being on my own than if my family has been with me because I was able to wonder around and not have to worry about anyone but myself.
 

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:[ I'm so sorry, I dislike that feeling intensely. Usually, it's curbed with a walk in nature, or going to a cafe to people-watch, or just sitting in my car somewhere. Do anything to distract yourself. Find a passion, and work at it until you join a club, or something! You are a wonderful person, I know that you will never be truly alone.
 

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When I was back home and feeling lonely I would go to the theatre of the cinema by myself. I even went to a Medieval Festival on my own because none of my family wanted to go.

It's scary at first but quite liberating! I think I enjoyed it more being on my own than if my family has been with me because I was able to wonder around and not have to worry about anyone but myself.
Well doing things on your own is a very good start if you want to get to know new people... So it's not always a bad thing... :happy:
 

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Discussion Starter #16
yeah they tell me that university is where you meet your lifelong friends. seeing my parents and older friends, i agree with this.

unfortunately, im done with college already. where are my lifelongfriends?
 

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Yeah, like you curious, I made my friends in college, went back to visit them a couple of months ago, and realized what assholes they were.

Sorry you guys, this is unnecessarily depressing for us all.
I need a pick-me-up too.

I was feeling like you earlier today, curious. I've lost a lot of really close friends recently, and it's just a huge bummer. It tends to prey on me when I'm alone, which happens a lot now that I'm in school and have to study, a lot.
Unfortunately I have other priorities and can't really focus on a social life.

I wish I felt more motivated though. Here I am posting on this forum complaining and bringing you all down when I could be doing something about it!
 

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I hear you, I have felt this way in life before. For myself, I've learned that at least at this time in my life, usually going out and spending time with people you dont even care about is better than sitting in alone (when you feel really lonely).

Hang in there, I feel for ya.
 

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i feel u
my life is a lot like that day you had in elementary school when both of your friends didn’t show up so you wandered the playground aimlessly and before class started everyone was talking except for you
it seems like everyone has friends but me, which i know isnt true, but being lonley when you know other people are having fun with life suck
 
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