Title says it. This feeling is heightened during the weekends. Everyone I know has their group of friends, people they grew up, people they spent their last few years with, and people they BELONG with. And during the weekend, everyone goes to spend time with these people in their lives. And i'm sitting here wondering how I've gotten to this point in my life. I've always had a lonely life (minus a few friends from h/s who have all drifted now), but Friday nights seem to reopen these wounds. This feeling is even more heightened when I realize that a person I like (as a friend or romantically) has one of these groups of people he/she belongs to. I start thinking of all the special people in their life, and I have a feeling of warmness and I'm genuinely glad that this person has these people he can look to in his life, friends to go to, friends that have become family, people they can share good and bad news with. And I'm happy that this person (friend, or someone I care about) has a community that accepts him/her. But then I feel a hint of sadness that becomes more and more overwhelming, because I realize I'm not part of that community he belongs to. Or ANY community for that matter. I'll always be an outsider. And days like today, I want to cry, but not too much. Just enough to let the emotions out, but not enough to become defeated by my own emotions. This too shall pass. and tomorrow morning, I'll walk around with my head up. But that feeling will still be there. and tonight.... I wait for the pizza delivery guy and do my laundry, I wash the dishes, I clean my room, I write my thoughts here with no specific aim or direction. Sorry guys, I wish I could make more sense, but I'll just leave my thoughts at this tonight.