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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Been going through some majorly shitty stuff lately. Just found out that my (now ex) boyfriend of 8 years has been cheating on me for a second time.
It was bad enough that he withheld sex from me for two months and then the other day I find a condom wrapper in his car. We have a 7 year old daughter together too.
I really wanted to believe it wouldn't happen again but I guess so. He's a good looking guy, I've gained some weight after our daughter was born. I know that's not why he cheated but, I didn't think he'd throw everything away again for another random hookup. I've been mulling it over in my head about who it was, but he won't tell me. He denies cheating yet admits to still having a box of condoms, even though we didn't use condoms and we haven't had sex for two months. I've been a stay-at-home mom so I have no real outside friends.
My daughter's been going through crap at school so that's a stressor because she's acting out at home. My ex doesn't live with us so I'm dealing with her all on my own. He sees her a few hours a week but it's not enough to help me. He gives me money but it's not the same as being fully present as a parent.

I have no siblings or cousins or family I'd even want to tell all this to. I've come to understand that I've been codependent and he's a narcissist. I just literally felt like checking myself into a mental hospital the other day. I have been struggling with depression alone since he first cheated 2 years ago.

I feel totally alone. Like totally.
I wish I had someone to talk to of any age or gender, not to comfort me but distract me from all the crap that's been going on. I'd love to just share someone else's happiness right now. Welp..probs not going to get feedback here but there it is.
 

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Oh my. That's a lot to take in.

I'm so sorry.

Now now, you wanted to be distracted, didn'tcha? Why don't we talk about something a little bit less serious?

Like, for example, what do you like? Your insterests? :D
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
Oh my. That's a lot to take in.

I'm so sorry.

Now now, you wanted to be distracted, didn'tcha? Why don't we talk about something a little bit less serious?

Like, for example, what do you like? Your insterests? :D
Thank you, yeah it is a lot. :/

Well jeez I have no idea where to start that's such a broad question. Um..
art, history, Buddhism, meditation, self-improvement, cooking, baking, nostalgia,crafting, minimalism lifestyle, cinema, cats, rain, forests, music, people?


you?
 

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Thank you, yeah it is a lot. :/

Well jeez I have no idea where to start that's such a broad question. Um..
art, history, Buddhism, meditation, self-improvement, cooking, baking, nostalgia,crafting, minimalism lifestyle, cinema, cats, rain, forests, music, people?


you?
Martial arts, music, nostalgia, ancient history, a simple life, movies, acting, psychology, role playing and nature walking.
 

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Thank you, yeah it is a lot. :/

Well jeez I have no idea where to start that's such a broad question. Um..
art, history, Buddhism, meditation, self-improvement, cooking, baking, nostalgia,crafting, minimalism lifestyle, cinema, cats, rain, forests, music, people?


you?
Oh, we have some interests in common it seems.

What do you like about history? And why do you like rain? :3

Also, cats are incredibly adorable! I used to have one, but he passed away. Although he was very, very cute and a good listener too.

What kind of pastries do you like to bake?
 

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Thank you, yeah it is a lot. :/

Well jeez I have no idea where to start that's such a broad question. Um..
art, history, Buddhism, meditation, self-improvement, cooking, baking, nostalgia,crafting, minimalism lifestyle, cinema, cats, rain, forests, music, people?


you?
What about self improvement do you like? What about forests and nostalgia do you like? What got you into Buddhism and art?
 

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Discussion Starter · #11 ·
Oh, we have some interests in common it seems.

What do you like about history? And why do you like rain? :3

Also, cats are incredibly adorable! I used to have one, but he passed away. Although he was very, very cute and a good listener too.

What kind of pastries do you like to bake?
I love history in general because our choices shape the future. Every day we are making history and we don't even realize it. I love learning how the decisions and experiences of the past have shaped the present day. I actually wanted to teach history.

I love the rain because it makes me feel in my element. I'm a Scorpio so a water sign. :p

I'm a huge cat lover. I wish I could have a million cats and give them all some love. Especially the needy, discarded and abused. What was your cats name? And what was he like? They really do leave pawprints on the heart.

I actually like to bake vegan. I'm transitioning from vegetarianism to veganism so I enjoy the challenge of replacing traditional eggs and milk with more unconventional ingredients. :p
 

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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
What about self improvement do you like? What about forests and nostalgia do you like? What got you into Buddhism and art?
Well, after I fell into a deep depression I read a book by Thich Nhat Hanh called Fidelity and it really opened up my heart and soul to Buddhism. I bought more of his titles that I'm reading now, and a lot of his words were some of the only things to make me feel hopeful and peaceful when I felt extremely low. Also a lot of words by Deepak Chopra, Pema Chodron and the Dalai Lama have helped me learn a lot about myself.

I love forests because they seem magical and peaceful. Also I'm from LA so feeling "one with nature" is one thing not so easily obtained.

I've always loved nostalgia which I guess goes hand in hand with loving history. When I was little I saw the movie Pleasantville and it got the wheels turning and I became fascinated with history and nostalgia from then on out.

Art, well my only talent is that I'm artistic. I haven't painted anything in years though. I keep saying I will but it's hard to feel inspired sometimes.

You said you like martial arts? I had my daughter in TKD for a while, she loved it.
 

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Well, after I fell into a deep depression I read a book by Thich Nhat Hanh called Fidelity and it really opened up my heart and soul to Buddhism. I bought more of his titles that I'm reading now, and a lot of his words were some of the only things to make me feel hopeful and peaceful when I felt extremely low. Also a lot of words by Deepak Chopra, Pema Chodron and the Dalai Lama have helped me learn a lot about myself.

I love forests because they seem magical and peaceful. Also I'm from LA so feeling "one with nature" is one thing not so easily obtained.

I've always loved nostalgia which I guess goes hand in hand with loving history. When I was little I saw the movie Pleasantville and it got the wheels turning and I became fascinated with history and nostalgia from then on out.

Art, well my only talent is that I'm artistic. I haven't painted anything in years though. I keep saying I will but it's hard to feel inspired sometimes.

You said you like martial arts? I had my daughter in TKD for a while, she loved it.
I have done TKD for almost 15 years. I am glad she loved it :)
 

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I love history in general because our choices shape the future. Every day we are making history and we don't even realize it. I love learning how the decisions and experiences of the past have shaped the present day. I actually wanted to teach history.

I love the rain because it makes me feel in my element. I'm a Scorpio so a water sign. :p

I'm a huge cat lover. I wish I could have a million cats and give them all some love. Especially the needy, discarded and abused. What was your cats name? And what was he like? They really do leave pawprints on the heart.

I actually like to bake vegan. I'm transitioning from vegetarianism to veganism so I enjoy the challenge of replacing traditional eggs and milk with more unconventional ingredients. :p
Funny; that's the same reason why I like history. I love exploring the past of the human race, and even beyond that. You can see how things developed; how patterns repeat with time. Mistakes that could have been avoided, decisions that changed countries! And little facts that altered the course of everything. And yes, we make history daily. People don't think about that much, actually. But in ten years, yesterday will be ancient. And in twenty years, tomorrow will be a day to remember!

I'm a Scopio too, golly! I was born November 8th. What about you?

I would love to adopt lost and abandoned cats. I'd give them all they had been denied before. :c
My cat's name, heh, is a pretty silly story. See; my cousin, my sister and I are THE cat lovers. We always visited our grandmother's house each summer and since she liked to have animals around, she had cats. Once a year, said cats gave birth and yadda yadda. One year before the cat we had in our current house arrived, my sister and my cousin "adopted" a male cat and called him Twailert. No particular meaning. But they loved him a lot.

When we got our cat, we thought he was a she, so my sister named him Gema (Spanish for "jewel"). When we found out he was indeed male, she decided to reuse the name because she really loved that other cat. So, his name was Twailert!

That really does sound like a challenge. Have you ever suceeded with any recipe? ;P
 

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Discussion Starter · #15 ·
Funny; that's the same reason why I like history. I love exploring the past of the human race, and even beyond that. You can see how things developed; how patterns repeat with time. Mistakes that could have been avoided, decisions that changed countries! And little facts that altered the course of everything. And yes, we make history daily. People don't think about that much, actually. But in ten years, yesterday will be ancient. And in twenty years, tomorrow will be a day to remember!

I'm a Scopio too, golly! I was born November 8th. What about you?

I would love to adopt lost and abandoned cats. I'd give them all they had been denied before. :c
My cat's name, heh, is a pretty silly story. See; my cousin, my sister and I are THE cat lovers. We always visited our grandmother's house each summer and since she liked to have animals around, she had cats. Once a year, said cats gave birth and yadda yadda. One year before the cat we had in our current house arrived, my sister and my cousin "adopted" a male cat and called him Twailert. No particular meaning. But they loved him a lot.

When we got our cat, we thought he was a she, so my sister named him Gema (Spanish for "jewel"). When we found out he was indeed male, she decided to reuse the name because she really loved that other cat. So, his name was Twailert!

That really does sound like a challenge. Have you ever suceeded with any recipe? ;P
Yes EXACTLY the reason history is such a great subject. To tee you described it exactly like I should have lol.

I'm an October 24th Scorpio. My favorite person (aside from my daughter) was my grandfather who was a November 2nd Scorpio. We had such a strong bond. Loved that man more than any other relative, bless his soul.

That's so great! I come from a family of cat-haters (except my dad who loves them). Funny that I love cats so much, my ex absolutely DESPISED them. Red flags..I know...hahaha.
That's such a funny name haha. The last cat that was in my house was a tuxedo cat named Gimli. He was a sweetheart. Never scratched or hissed at me once, and he was a big cuddlebug. He also pretty patient with my daughter who was 6 at the time. I think he's the one who made her love cats so much. He was an outdoor cat though but he moved in with the elderly neighbor man across the street. I'm glad he's not outside anymore though. I named him Gimli because he got pretty rowdy and was a bit of a troublemaker outdoors.
He'd get into a lot of fights and yowling matches with other cats, and he'd taunt and tease my neighbors indoor cats and spray the bushes right in front of their window. He was hilarious haha.

I recently made vegan cupcakes with whipped coconut cream frosting. They were pretty rad ;).
 

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Well, after I fell into a deep depression I read a book by Thich Nhat Hanh called Fidelity and it really opened up my heart and soul to Buddhism. I bought more of his titles that I'm reading now, and a lot of his words were some of the only things to make me feel hopeful and peaceful when I felt extremely low. Also a lot of words by Deepak Chopra, Pema Chodron and the Dalai Lama have helped me learn a lot about myself.

I love forests because they seem magical and peaceful. Also I'm from LA so feeling "one with nature" is one thing not so easily obtained.

I've always loved nostalgia which I guess goes hand in hand with loving history. When I was little I saw the movie Pleasantville and it got the wheels turning and I became fascinated with history and nostalgia from then on out.

Art, well my only talent is that I'm artistic. I haven't painted anything in years though. I keep saying I will but it's hard to feel inspired sometimes.

You said you like martial arts? I had my daughter in TKD for a while, she loved it.
Same reason why I like forests and nature, as it feels magical and peaceful. That is similar to why I like history, as the nostalgia. I read a lot of books on ancient history as a kid, went to historical sites and was interested in archaeology and Egyptology.
 

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Yes EXACTLY the reason history is such a great subject. To tee you described it exactly like I should have lol.

I'm an October 24th Scorpio. My favorite person (aside from my daughter) was my grandfather who was a November 2nd Scorpio. We had such a strong bond. Loved that man more than any other relative, bless his soul.

That's so great! I come from a family of cat-haters (except my dad who loves them). Funny that I love cats so much, my ex absolutely DESPISED them. Red flags..I know...hahaha.
That's such a funny name haha. The last cat that was in my house was a tuxedo cat named Gimli. He was a sweetheart. Never scratched or hissed at me once, and he was a big cuddlebug. He also pretty patient with my daughter who was 6 at the time. I think he's the one who made her love cats so much. He was an outdoor cat though but he moved in with the elderly neighbor man across the street. I'm glad he's not outside anymore though. I named him Gimli because he got pretty rowdy and was a bit of a troublemaker outdoors.
He'd get into a lot of fights and yowling matches with other cats, and he'd taunt and tease my neighbors indoor cats and spray the bushes right in front of their window. He was hilarious haha.

I recently made vegan cupcakes with whipped coconut cream frosting. They were pretty rad ;).
Heeheeh. :p
I have a passion for very old history. "Very old" as in "before the tenth century". You?

Aw, that's so sweet. What was he like?

Ah, let's not think about your ex, shall we?
I love tuxedo cats. Even my WhatsApp background is a cat in a literal tuxedo. :p

That sounds like MY kind of cat. A sweetheart and a troublemaker. :B
Gimli is funny too, heh. I don't make a connection between "mischiveous cat" and the name, but that's probably because I'm too young.

My cat on the other hand was a slob. Never did much and didn't play much, soooo he was fat. But even so, as an angora cat, he had an athletic build. And very hairy! His fur was pure white, and his eyes green. However, he was moody. Didn't like human contact much, except for my mother (whom he loved). If I could describe him with any personality, I would say... socionics ILI.

Oh, cupcakes! Coconut cream! Rad! I'm so jealous. :C
Can you ship some next time? ;D
 

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I imagine you feel unsettled. There are no family members at all you trust? Having someone you can count on would be better.

How are your job qualifications? Getting something, even part-time, would be a good way to get back into the world. You don't need to be stay at home for only one child, simply keep compatible work hours. Drive her to school or put her on the school bus. Some schools offer after-hours daycare in case that's needed. You could also conscript the grandparents into babysitting duty. Looks like your ex is cooperating for now but you should look into a formal child support process. Essentially restructure your life to take in account his absence, that should bring back a feeling of stability. Beyond that, there are lots of other men in the sea.
 

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That's horrible. I'll be your friend! Do you like old school house music


I find that this one is appropriate for the present situation :)

I'm actually doing my major in history and I aspire to pursue a career as a historian!
 
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Yeah, I'm lonely as well. Me, being an extrovert, can tell you that it starts to really mess you up when only people you deal with are ones you are related to. I used to have very large cycle of friends, but they all went for drugs - had to let them go before I fell too deep along them.

I sometimes go to nightclubs, bars, etc, but it gets too expensive. And hang out with some of my cousin's friends, who I don't mesh with very well. I miss the sort of people I am - I miss the group fun.

I know the feeling of being helplessly bored and alone and trying to find friends. I'm sure many of us have been there. As for advice, I really have nothing. I hope someone can suggest something. But the main point is: You're not alone.
 
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