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Discussion Starter #1
Warning: This post is contemptuously long.

Lately, I feel so depressed with my struggle to get passed nursing school. Although I admit that I’m not actually struggling academically in terms of my grades, rather I’m almost crawling my way through this journey because I absolutely have no passion for this course. I’m really not motivated to carry on with this. To make matters worse for me, I feel ashamed of myself for having this deep apathy for nursing, especially that at the same I actually highly revere this very virtuous profession. I feel that if nursing had a soul, I have long been disrespecting it.

The thing is, this wasn’t actually my first choice as a career. I wanted to pursue medicine. But one day my mum and dad sat me down and, with all honesty, told me that I may not be cut out for this especially that I’m very sensitive; my mum foresaw that if I did become a doctor, the nature of the job is very strenuous and perhaps while on the job a single error in clinical decision would be enough to set me off to becoming neurotically shaken out of deep guilt. About a year passed, I realised that perhaps she was actually right.

Anyway, after countless periods of private introspecting, reflecting and researching, I have gone further with self –discovery and found that I my niche befalls in psychology. I realised that I have a growing confidence and passionate curiosity in neuropsychology, and that’s what I really want to do, and can see myself doing in the next 50 years.

Going back to the first discussion, right now I already have a lot of assignments to do that are piling up, and due dates are not far ahead. I have been having a hard time bringing myself to start working on them. Every time I do manage to grab a pen and start writing, I feel resentment looming inside me; and I feel like crying because I’m really not enjoying what I’m doing. (Then again, I try to make my assignments competent enough to gain above-mediocre marking.) Right now, what’s slightly been encouraging me to carry on is my drive to gain more knowledge for the sake of it (as it is, I’m a Type 5), and my yearning to help others (nursing does a lot of that).

My negotiation with my parents is, finish nursing and then I can pursue whatever I want. The reason why they’re pushing me into this is that they want my future to have financial security, that I have a job that I can fall back on in case my personal pursuit wouldn’t work out well. I feel bad if I don't finish nursing especially that my parents have been very supportive of me, financially (they help out with my tuition, books, etc.) and emotionally (if I feel really stressed out/depressed they look for ways to make me feel better).

I need to keep motivating myself, even in small amounts, until I reach the finish line. My question is, how? The fire that keeps my drive to finish this journey alive is slowly dying out.

I wish to hear the insights and advises from my fellow INFJ’ s here, as I trust your counsels.

And thank you very much for taking the time to read this post. :unsure:
 

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Motivation issues have many factors but I think the more you focus how much you dislike what you are doing the less motivated you are to finish. Have you tried to focus on that when you finish you will do what you want, like if I finish "work" now I am closer to "play”?

It worked for me when I was burnt out in my last year of university.
 

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Motivation issues have many factors but I think the more you focus how much you dislike what you are doing the less motivated you are to finish. Have you tried to focus on that when you finish you will do what you want, like if I finish "work" now I am closer to "play”?

It worked for me when I was burnt out in my last year of university.
Yes, I have. But the dislike for what I'm doing would often creep back in somehow, then I get depressed again. I suppose I just need to teach myself to be more optimistic, like viewing things in a particular way as you suggested? It is easier said than done, but then I realised it may probably be the only way to do it.

Thank you for your response. I suppose even if we already knew the answer, we sometimes do need to be reminded of it.

And I take the "thanks" on the original post as a silent, gentle way of nudging me forward. Thank you everyone. I'm awe-inspired of how we all have this invisible, powerful connection, it's almost like a telepathic force. :) I guess I can use these like kindles to fuel the fire that's keeping me to carry on. :)
 

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INFJ's are the ideal doctors. I would not give up on that dream. At this stage, I agree that it is best for you to finish nursing and then begin looking at your options in medicine.
 

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The one thing that has always motivated me is fear. Fear of disappointing people in my life, fear of economic failure, you name it. My anxiety always pushes me onward. So when nothing else can motivate me, I start thinking of how everything can go to shit. Before I know it, I'm working my ass off. Yay. :p

Although as long as I feel 'safe' regardless of the outcome (even though I may not like it one bit), you can replace fear/anxiety with concern.

Some people are motivated by positive incentives, and others by negative incentives... It seems to me the first step is figuring out to which group you belong.
 
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Discussion Starter #6
The one thing that has always motivated me is fear. Fear of disappointing people in my life, fear of economic failure, you name it. My anxiety always pushes me onward. So when nothing else can motivate me, I start thinking of how everything can go to shit. Before I know it, I'm working my ass off. Yay. :p

Although as long as I feel 'safe' regardless of the outcome (even though I may not like it one bit), you can replace fear/anxiety with concern.

Some people are motivated by positive incentives, and others by negative incentives... It seems to me the first step is figuring out to which group you belong.

ahhh... A type 6 you are. :kitteh:
 

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I'm sorry that you find yourself studying for a course you don't enjoy leading to a profession you now realise you don't want to do. No wonder you feel down about it. But the good thing about it is that you are learning more about yourself in terms of what you enjoy or don't enjoy doing and what your strengths and weaknesses are. This will help you in the long run in terms of choosing a career that is right for you. I don't blame you for not being keen on nursing. I had a brief stab at it many years ago and I didn't enjoy it and wasn't very good at it. Because it involves helping people it seems like a good INFJ job on the surface when actually it involves way too much practical 'sensor' type skills so I would have thought it would suit an ISFJ much better.

It is great that you have thought of a career that you can be passionate about. Neuropsychology sounds very interesting. I would definitely prefer it to nursing too. But in the meantime you feel you ought to continue with nursing school. How long have you been studying so far? How much longer do you have to go? Are you able to choose to focus on the areas that are more related to psychology such as working in the psychiatric/ mental health/ neurodisability field? Even if the experiences you are getting in your nursing training don't seem related at all to psychology, you will still be learning skills such as teamwork, professionalism, confidentiality and time management which you can apply to any other future career.

I can't say whether you should continue or not with nursing school. If you are half way or more than half way through the course, I would be inclined to say it would be better to complete it. I also understand that it must be hard to keep up the motivation for something you are not interested in. But if you complete your training, is there any chance you could take a nursing job that involved working with patients with mental health difficulties or neurological difficulties? Then you could both gain some relevant experience and start saving money for psychology studies.

I was a bit surprised when you said your parents discouraged you from training to be a doctor. Yes, us INFJs are sensitive but in my experience, the problems of oversensitivity have lessened as I have got older. I don't know why but it just not the big issue it was when I was younger. It seems a shame that you were put off doing this. But, that doesn't matter now as you have discovered for yourself what you really want to do. Obviously, I don't know you or exactly how sensitive you are or what your relationship with your parents is like, but reading your post I couldn't help wondering if your parents are a little overprotective of you. (Please feel free to correct me on this).

It sounds like things are tough for you at the moment, but it also sounds like you now know what you want and that you have the determination to make your dreams a reality at some point in the future.
 

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Hey vanilla_dream,

I know I'm going to sound like a really old duffer here, but what the hell.......

Your parents have a point. Nursing, like teaching, mechanics, joinery, building etc is a skill that you can always find employment with. But....and it's a big but.....you have no passion for the training and no anticipation for the prospect of doing the job.

It is obvious (and I don't wish to sound patronising here) that you are quite young and still studying, preparing for life ahead? From the perspective at the other end of the scale....nearer the end of a career (or two) I would say:-

Take your nursing course in your stride....we are far more capable than we think we are. The perspectives we have in youth REALLY DO look insignificant and often misguided. with just a very few years of further growth. You will look back in 10 years and wonder what all the fuss was about! (trust me!)

and then......Surely some of the training for nursing will stand you in good stead maybe even give you credit in a pschotherapy / neuropsychology qualification? I would have thought the ultimate INFJ dream job!
 
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Discussion Starter #9
I'm sorry that you find yourself studying for a course you don't enjoy leading to a profession you now realise you don't want to do. No wonder you feel down about it. But the good thing about it is that you are learning more about yourself in terms of what you enjoy or don't enjoy doing and what your strengths and weaknesses are. This will help you in the long run in terms of choosing a career that is right for you. I don't blame you for not being keen on nursing. I had a brief stab at it many years ago and I didn't enjoy it and wasn't very good at it. Because it involves helping people it seems like a good INFJ job on the surface when actually it involves way too much practical 'sensor' type skills so I would have thought it would suit an ISFJ much better.
That is exactly it. It's not that nursing is not challenging enough or is it too challenging, but it's the nature of the job that really doesn't appeal to my personality, or to how I function for that matter. I'm curious now, have you shifted to another field?

It is great that you have thought of a career that you can be passionate about. Neuropsychology sounds very interesting. I would definitely prefer it to nursing too. But in the meantime you feel you ought to continue with nursing school. How long have you been studying so far? How much longer do you have to go? Are you able to choose to focus on the areas that are more related to psychology such as working in the psychiatric/ mental health/ neurodisability field? Even if the experiences you are getting in your nursing training don't seem related at all to psychology, you will still be learning skills such as teamwork, professionalism, confidentiality and time management which you can apply to any other future career.

I can't say whether you should continue or not with nursing school. If you are half way or more than half way through the course, I would be inclined to say it would be better to complete it. I also understand that it must be hard to keep up the motivation for something you are not interested in. But if you complete your training, is there any chance you could take a nursing job that involved working with patients with mental health difficulties or neurological difficulties? Then you could both gain some relevant experience and start saving money for psychology studies.
I'm already half way through the course, and I have another 1.5 years or so to finish (if, of course, I pass). What you have suggested is exactly what I have laid out my future to look like. I would really want to work at a mental health facility as it is indeed the closest thing to the career that I wanted to take on. Perhaps for about 3 years? My first placement this year was actually at an acute mental health ward and I must say I really enjoyed it.

It is great that you have pointed out the positives in nursing. Again, I am reminded of how wonderful nursing actually is, despite my apathy for it. You have helped me realise how fortunate I am, at least in some little ways, that I'm "inevitably" gaining all these skills. ^_^

I was a bit surprised when you said your parents discouraged you from training to be a doctor. Yes, us INFJs are sensitive but in my experience, the problems of oversensitivity have lessened as I have got older. I don't know why but it just not the big issue it was when I was younger. It seems a shame that you were put off doing this. But, that doesn't matter now as you have discovered for yourself what you really want to do. Obviously, I don't know you or exactly how sensitive you are or what your relationship with your parents is like, but reading your post I couldn't help wondering if your parents are a little overprotective of you. (Please feel free to correct me on this).

It sounds like things are tough for you at the moment, but it also sounds like you now know what you want and that you have the determination to make your dreams a reality at some point in the future.
Oh yes, you were right when you said that my parents were over-protective. The past behind their separate lives were difficult in many life aspects, and I suppose they're working hard not to let their children (I have an older brother) to experience likewise. So they came out very security-oriented. I suppose that's how they found each other? But that's a different story. :kitteh:

Also, I guess my mother derived her conclusion from the fact that from time to time I do suffer from mild depression and perfectionism. She is, I believe, an INFJ as well and I trust her insights, as admittedly she is usually right, sometimes much to my chagrin :tongue:.

I deplore that I am too sheltered and I worry about my coping with independent life when I finally move out from my parental home. However, on my private time I do explore and research to prepare myself for that imminent time.

You have dissected so many things in my situation and have given really bang on, keen insights. Your response has given me some sort of warm reassurance, and it has definitely made me feel better. Thank you very much from the deepest ocean in my heart. :happy:
 

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Hey vanilla_dream,

I know I'm going to sound like a really old duffer here, but what the hell.......

Your parents have a point. Nursing, like teaching, mechanics, joinery, building etc is a skill that you can always find employment with. But....and it's a big but.....you have no passion for the training and no anticipation for the prospect of doing the job.

It is obvious (and I don't wish to sound patronising here) that you are quite young and still studying, preparing for life ahead? From the perspective at the other end of the scale....nearer the end of a career (or two) I would say:-

Take your nursing course in your stride....we are far more capable than we think we are. The perspectives we have in youth REALLY DO look insignificant and often misguided. with just a very few years of further growth. You will look back in 10 years and wonder what all the fuss was about! (trust me!)

and then......Surely some of the training for nursing will stand you in good stead maybe even give you credit in a pschotherapy / neuropsychology qualification? I would have thought the ultimate INFJ dream job!
You sound a lot like my mom. lol
I acknowledge my limited outlook to the reality in life, as what you said, and I have a long way to go to "experience" life itself.
Oh don't worry, you didn't come across as patronising at all. You do have a really good point.
I appreciate your feedback. I think we all need a hit in the head sometimes to get it all in. :)
 

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I deplore that I am too sheltered and I worry about my coping with independent life when I finally move out from my parental home. However, on my private time I do explore and research to prepare myself for that imminent time.

You have dissected so many things in my situation and have given really bang on, keen insights. Your response has given me some sort of warm reassurance, and it has definitely made me feel better. Thank you very much from the deepest ocean in my heart. :happy:
Well I think that's the best feedback I've had so far on PerC! I'm glad I've managed to get something right as I sometimes put 2 and 2 together to make 5! It's very nice to know that I might have been able to help someone.

I've tried all sorts of jobs over the years. But I am very happy in what I do now so I feel that for me it's been worth trying different things in order to finally find a job that is a good match for my interests and skills.

When you said that you were worried about coping when you move out of your parents home, I just had this urge to say, "You'll be fine!". Of course I don't know this for sure, just that I'm thinking that you might actually surprise yourself in how well you are able to cope and you might get a nice confidence boost when you realise that you are quite capable of living independently.
 
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