[MrSmashem]

I've noticed ISTP's are supposed to be cold and not very in touch with their emotions. As a child however, I was always encouraged to express my emotions., which ultimately resulted in the development of my emotional side. Now I find, depending on the circumstances or situation at hand, I to some degree include my emotions in my decision-making process. They don't make the decision, logic and reason do, but I can't say they don't have some influence on it.

I'm not completely cold and aloof. If I'm not in a serious situation, I do take other people into consideration and I do take my own personal values in to account. I realize my emotions sometimes(other times I can get confused about what I'm feeling) and again, they don't govern my decisions, but they can stimulate a deeper consideration. Could this be due to my childhood development?

P.S. The situation at hand GREATLY affects this, though. When it's time to get down to business(I.E. winning a sports game, finishing a project etc.), there's no time for emotions, but if it's something simple such as who rides shotgun, I'm a little more in tune with them.

 

[ZaRocks]

In other words, it sounds like what you're saying is you "don't sweat about the small stuff". As you mentioned, showing emotion is something that can be learned over time, regardless of type with some coaching. I'm guessing that when stakes are small we all like to experiment in our own little sandbox, trying to get a good feel for how others react to certain behaviors. The one thing I've noticed with myself and other ISTP's is we have our "normal mode" and "crazy intense mode", the latter of which our true strengths and abilities really shine.

 

[MissFixit]

No that's not weird -- I use Fe that way a lot. I take into consideration being nice to people when it's not a life and death issue.
It's just that my Ti does all the decision making. I'm super cautious when dealing with people, because I can "foresee" when interpersonal Feeler crap is going to muck up a situation. So I know when it's ok to let someone indulge their feelings, and when it will cause a big fight. And then Ti makes the final decision.

 

[Psilocin]

In other words, it sounds like what you're saying is you "don't sweat about the small stuff". As you mentioned, showing emotion is something that can be learned over time, regardless of type with some coaching. I'm guessing that when stakes are small we all like to experiment in our own little sandbox, trying to get a good feel for how others react to certain behaviors. The one thing I've noticed with myself and other ISTP's is we have our "normal mode" and "crazy intense mode", the latter of which our true strengths and abilities really shine.

I'm not the only one. =D

OP, my mom also raised me the same way. She was all about letting me express myself and do my own thing while just guiding me along and teaching me. Mom and dad raised me like I was a short adult.
And I've largely developed the same way you have.

I've made a conscious effort to understand and integrate my Shadow the last couple of years. So, that may also be something worth saying.

 

[Kadjunga]

your lucky to have gotten an emotional upbringing. Some never had the privilege :/
While yes, i do try to take into account other peoples feelings / emotions, it is just another cold hard fact to consider. Nothing else. I try to never ever let them make an impact on any decision, be it a good or bad feeling.

 

[FearsomeCritter]

Any istp who acts like they don't have any emotions at all is probably not actually an ISTP.

I've found that when people are really down, and have good reason to be, ISTPs can go from being seemingly blunt and cold to being some of the most calm compasionate people i've met. We are good at, "Just listening," in situations like that, which, a lot of the time, is exactly what people need.

 

[Seralya]

I am good at listening to people, mainly because everything they say goes in and out but leave no weight behind. I don't take their problems personally, because I can't do anything about them anyway. Thus I can listen, which is often the most important thing - and also best way to help.

If I have been in the same situation than the other person is now, then I can think "what did I want someone to say/do when I was there" and do that. It works miracles. When I have no clue what the person is feeling, though, well, then I have no clue. I can still ask her to tell me how it feels and build a database of second-hand information about that situation and what seems to work.

If you don't have what it takes, you can always use what you have to fake it.
So, basically I agree with Kadjunga.

 

[Ikari T]

It really depends on each ISTP. Some ISTPs are near 100% T with little F.

For example, I am 65% T and 35%, so I have a good amount of emotions are going on in there. Sometimes I spend a good amount of time losing my temper because people didn't understand when I explain stuff to them nice and slowly.
In terms of decision-making, there are times when a casual friend needs help in something that won't benefit me in any way and obviously wastes my time. Nevertheless, I would help them just to make them happy and see the smile on their face.
So there you have it, ISTPs don't have to be cold and aloof. They are capable of being warmhearted as well.

 

[alionsroar]

In terms of decision-making, there are times when a casual friend needs help in something that won't benefit me in any way and obviously wastes my time. Nevertheless, I would help them just to make them happy and see the smile on their face.

Here's what I wonder: how much of that is to do with Fe feeling and how much of it has to do with the Ti logical idea that: if you don't help him, you will piss him off and he will stop being your friend (and subconsciously your Fi values the friendship.)
(This isn't personal - I'm just using your example as my example because I'm too lazy to think of my own.)

If your Ti action equals your Fe action then what does that mean? I suppose it doesn't matter too much. Maybe you are like a god.

Wait, what was the original question again? When I was growing up feelings didn't really matter. It was all about 'doing the right logical thing'. (STJ parents!) I find it very hard to express emotions. or sometimes to understand my emotions. Sometimes it's hard to identify if I'm feeling angry or sad or happy since I am not aware of why I would feel that way so I'd need to go think about it for a bit.

 

[ThoughtProcess]

I've had F types around me for most of my life. I sometimes feel like I'm stranded on a sea of emotion. The only person who really managed to get me in touch with my emotions is my wife. And, like PC3k said, a lot of that was Ti driven. "If I don't do this...".

On the flip side, I can never understand why my wife and mother cry while watching movies or reading stories about people they'll never meet. WTF?! I just laugh at them. :laughing:

 

[gpky]

I can deal with feelings and emotions - but as far as possible, I avoid it because I find it really draining. And sometimes I really don't have the patience for it. When I have to talk about how I feel, I do it best when I'm out of the situation and give the account from a third person's perspective - and it's almost like an objective analysis - and ridiculously clinical considering the topic. LOL.

 

[DJArendee]

No one is cold and callous. Not even INTJ's or ISTJ's. In fact they're more emotional than we are on the inside. But the difference lies in how we can push the emotions aside. Our low Fe simply means we have little control over it: this shows when we start to become hyper-emotional during a relationship and analyze every small thing the other person does because our Fe wants to shine but our Ti is trying to analyze with emotions thrown into the mix, and things get messy. Fe is all about other people, while Fi is all about yourself. That's why we can't feel our own emotions until half an hour later, but we know how to phrase things to be more tactful and suave, hence some of the one liners.