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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
So I was on a night out with at least one INTJ last night. Basically I realised that they don't think I have feelings and that I can take abuse constantly. So I left. Have you guys ever experienced similar?
 

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Had to think for a while, but actually yes. Was bullied for years (mostly by ESXPs but the whole class participated) and their justification was mostly "She doesn't have feelings so we're not hurting her so technically it doesn't fulfill the criteria for bullying". Well, they were right in a sense that I could ignore it to the extent where it wouldn't hurt me (as I would always have feelings but I could just not let the abuse achieve its initial aims by only thinking about it superficially). I think the idea is still approximately the same.
 

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I've found that there's pretty much two types of INTJs: The ones that are very clever + original, and accidentally hurt people's feelings - and the ones that are just plain douches.
 

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I'm usually sarcastic and take jabs at my close friends, but people have told me that it comes off as demeaning, or in the tone of "I think you're a moron". I would describe it as Te playfulness, and just how badly INTJs are with using Fe. I will tone it down if somebody tells me to stop, though, so maybe you should tell your friend to cut back on it.
 

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So I was on a night out with at least one INTJ last night. Basically I realised that they don't think I have feelings and that I can take abuse constantly. So I left. Have you guys ever experienced similar?
Yes! Unfortunately! I think my brother and sister think I don't have feelings. So my brother has, for many years, used me as an emotional trash can. Which was exhausting. But he has stopped now after me explaining again and again that I do.

It's pretty sucky cause I don't think they know how much and how many times they've really really hurt my feelings over the years!
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
Interesting comments. I'm beginning to think they might be just douches like you say. Generally we all banter, but last night just seemed hurtful. Maybe I was just really in touch with my Fe side.
 

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That's funny coming from an INTJ.

My experience with this is that as an ENTP, I have very intense feelings about some things but I hate showing them a lot of the time. Also, it is very hard to offend me. I truly don't take a lot of things personally that many other people do. However, my friends know this. So they can really be ball-busters sometimes. Most of the time I enjoy it as well as giving it right back to them. There's a certain safety and comfort in knowing you can joke around with your friends and that they're not going to get mad or oversensitive.

However, once in a while it goes a little too far and I have to make it clear that I'm not alright with it. A few weeks ago I was out with a friend of mine. She doesn't have children and I'm a stay-at-home-mom. Long story short, she made some comment about how it's easy for me to make plans because I "don't do anything." I told her to F- herself and kept contact to a minimum for a few weeks. She hasn't brought it up, but she's a conflict-avoidant INFP and I know she knows it was shitty comment. I don't need to get into with her. I think she feels bad about it and she's been really nice in the meantime.
 

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First off, yep.
Some people assume I dont have feelings, like my aunt;
after visiting Auschwitz she called me and asked me if I felt bad in the concentration camp.
I said no. I didnt feel bad.
And her immediate response was: Ha! I knew it!
-.-

But regardless of my feelings, if you are an ENTP, its REALLY ODD that you got OFFENDED by words.
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
Tell you what scarlet, though your example was different, you have hit the nail spot on the head for my situation. That first paragraph is exactly how it is with my friends.
 

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so this happened to ~ last summer

there's a local bar I go to often usually same locals frequent esp during the week in the summer its a cool crowd. I started seeing a girl there who I talked to a few times, then one night a group conversation somehow got to talking about people being over medicated and I said some stuff about how I thought people were overmedicated especially for depression, that medicating I believe is probably the worst thing to do for depression, what people really need is a life-coach/therapy to help them exercise and eat healthier, help to them focus on healthier environments/relationships/goals well as work through psychological issues. There is a lot of evidence/research coming out now that show anti-depressants do a lot more harm than good and that the whole theory idea that people have a chemical imbalance stemming from their DNA that needs to be treated w/ medication is basically bs that drug companies made up to make money etc..... anyway this girl got upset and then stormed off, and has avoided interacted w/ me ever since.

When she stormed off a friend of both our scolded me for being an insensitive asshole, saying things like maybe she has had depression, how would you like it if you had depression..... when in reality what I was saying was my outlook and advice for dealing with depression that i've come to from a lifetime of struggle w/ chronic sever depression as well as some insight from studying biochemistry. It kinda hurt that they felt I was being an insensitive unfeeling asshole when what I was trying to do is compassionately express my own vulnerable feelings.

i've never had my feelings hurt by insults or anything like that, but there's been times where people called me an asshole when I was trying to be compassionate, or selfish when I was trying to be selfless, etc. and that always kinda sucked the wind of me
 

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so this happened to ~ last summer

there's a local bar I go to often usually same locals frequent esp during the week in the summer its a cool crowd. I started seeing a girl there who I talked to a few times, then one night a group conversation somehow got to talking about people being over medicated and I said some stuff about how I thought people were overmedicated especially for depression, that medicating I believe is probably the worst thing to do for depression, what people really need is a life-coach/therapy to help them exercise and eat healthier, help to them focus on healthier environments/relationships/goals well as work through psychological issues. There is a lot of evidence/research coming out now that show anti-depressants do a lot more harm than good and that the whole theory idea that people have a chemical imbalance stemming from their DNA that needs to be treated w/ medication is basically bs that drug companies made up to make money etc..... anyway this girl got upset and then stormed off, and has avoided interacted w/ me ever since.

When she stormed off a friend of both our scolded me for being an insensitive asshole, saying things like maybe she has had depression, how would you like it if you had depression..... when in reality what I was saying was my outlook and advice for dealing with depression that i've come to from a lifetime of struggle w/ chronic sever depression as well as some insight from studying biochemistry. It kinda hurt that they felt I was being an insensitive unfeeling asshole when what I was trying to do is compassionately express my own vulnerable feelings.

i've never had my feelings hurt by insults or anything like that, but there's been times where people called me an asshole when I was trying to be compassionate, or selfish when I was trying to be selfless, etc. and that always kinda sucked the wind of me
 

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Discussion Starter · #13 ·
Sounds like. Very similar situation actually. I wonder if that is why I got upset by it. Interesting. I'm now in danger of over analysing everything that happened haha.
 

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I'm not seen as emotionless; I have a very expressive face. If anything, people think I'm being more passionate and speaking with more fervor than I actually am. People will think I really care about an issue when I don't really give a shit about what I'm saying.

So I don't appear emotionless, but I do appear insensitive. I don't care about criticism and I'm very blunt with other people. So I guess that can be misconstrued as "emotionless" sometimes. I do something my ex-girlfriend affectionately calls the "sociopathic stare" in which I tell or hear something putrid/callous with a completely vacant expression on my face. There are other examples too. Let's pretend me and a bunch of people saw a dead body laying in the road. My expression would be pretty blank and curious, it would not affect me emotionally like most people. It doesn't mean I'm emotionless, I just don't have an extreme aversion to death or other normally squeamish concepts.

I run the gamut on this issue -- I probably confuse people.
 

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I feel feelings and all, it's just that I take very few things personally and In that regard I have quite the thick skin.

However even I have limits and principles (albeit few and versitile :p ) and once crossed I'll make it exceedingly clear that I won't have it.

With my friends I'm usually the recieving end of banters (because everyone knows I'm the one least prone to take offense). That said, they know better than pushing it once I DO react.
 

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It's odd, Since everyone knows that "I don't have feelings, nor I do get hurt by words" They tell me that, as an excuse for what I'm doing wrong, like, "You hurt me because you don't care about me because you don't have feelings, cuz u had so many girlfriends and friends and you dont care about them anymore"
The solution for my, is, crying, and "be affected", and saying that a long time ago, I felt hurt very bad by some person in the past, and that's why I'm like this now, I like to call it, my own shell where your words, can't get into,
But I have feelings, and I love you. (I say to her)
(THE PERFECT EXCUSE)

In fact, I only want to archieve my own purposes, which are, see how far can I get, and.. just.. practising my abilities...
I'm not a bad person, My goals are just practising my abilities and don't get bored, on the other way, the way I'm archieving it, it's a little bit evil... but at least when I finish I try not to hurt too bad that person.
Pff, anyways, I'm 16 y/o. YOLO.
 

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I've always thought of myself as emotionless, even before MBTI. But I recognized the importance of emotions to the feelers I was surrounded by for a very long time so I've learned to cope and fake the emotion needed at specific moment which made some mistake me for an ENFP.
But there are so many examples of my emotionless; I was once on a plane and the woman next to me literally dropped dead from a heart attack and they tried to resuscitate her but it didn't work so I had to sit with a dead woman on the aisle RIGHT next to me for 4 hours and all I could think of was this is good practice for medschool. when I told my ESFP friend about this she was so shocked of my "heartlessness" she told me I need to see a psychiatrist.
 
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