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I am a female ENFP that is supervising a female ISTJ. We both agree on our respective roles, however, she (ISTJ) has complained of being micromanaged, she needs more control of the worker bees on the team, and that the program needs to be more organized. I really cannot own the micromanagement complaint. I've been to several trainings lately and shown examples of my actions and I've been told to "step up" more, that I'm being too timid as a supervisor. Often she has plans to manage the tasks, but they are seldom shared with me, so I'm left guessing. As an ENFP - I'm more visionary. I truly respect her, but there seems to be no meeting 1/2 way. However, I have tried to back off and give her space,but she still complains. I can live with her directing the team more (although in my mind she already does this and a little part of me wonders if it is smart for me to relinquish control) and adding more organization to the documents and program. We currently meet with our boss 1/week to discuss these interactions, but it is EXHAUSTING. Any advice, success experiences, etc.? Am I in a WIN-LOSE situation?
 

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I can live with her directing the team more (although in my mind she already does this and a little part of me wonders if it is smart for me to relinquish control) and adding more organization to the documents and program.
I supervise a bunch of people, none of them ST's or ISTJs specifically, for that matter.

Do *not* relinquish control, that is a terrible idea as a supervisor. This employee needs to back off and worry about their own damn work, and getting it done like you direct, to meet your vision. I do suppose that *She* may need more direction and documentation, and you may have to step up and do that as her supervisor, or have her do it for herself if it helps her...

Can you give any concrete examples of what she is unhappy with? what needs to be documented? Why does she need control of the workers? What are they doing or not that she thinks she could improve? For that matter, to what end do any of her suggestions meet your goals?
 

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For example, we have documented operating procedures & training for parts of the program, but because the program is new it has been constantly changing. For example, our boss thought the training notebook and class was excellent. I thought it was very good. Yes, it could be a little more structured, but we are moving so fast that it hasn't been a great concern to me. We are getting new employees and she is "embarrassed" by the document. My take is she can have the new employees assist to make it better. Frankly, I don't think we have time to worry with it. Because when I try to give her additional tasks either she is single tasking or cannot flex to take on the new priority, causing her great stress. (But before you come down too hard, she is an excellent worker.)
 

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You've told her that it would be inefficient to re-write the manual at this point? If not, I would lay it out for her that you appreciate that she wants to see a better documentation product, but that it's not going to happen anytime soon, and that you will let her know when it can.
 

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You've told her that it would be inefficient to re-write the manual at this point? If not, I would lay it out for her that you appreciate that she wants to see a better documentation product, but that it's not going to happen anytime soon, and that you will let her know when it can.
I did tell her it was not needed, but when she mentioned it in front of my boss she volunteered to work on it this weekend. He agreed to let her. I told him later that I disagreed with the decision, because on Monday she will comes back to work irritated for not being compensated and "burned" out.
 

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...however, she (ISTJ) has complained of being micromanaged...
My roommate is an ISTJ. Obviously, not being there and not having all of the info, I'm just hypothesizing, but I think you might want to consider that when the ISTJ says micro-managing, she doesn't mean what you think. An ISTJ meaning for an abstract word can be very different from what you would expect.

My roommate says "micro-managing" when referring to the fact that the manager is speaking to him too often.

That's it.

Has nothing to do with actually coming in and telling him to get a particular part of his job done a certain way. The very fact that a manager opens their mouth to speak with him too often is what he is referring to when he says this. He has a hard time dealing with the unpredictable intrusions into his tasks.

I'm not saying this is what your ISTJ means, I'm just letting you know I run into this unique definition issue with my roommate A LOT.

You might consider setting up scheduled times to confer with her, times when she won't regularly be deep into a task, and not too frequently, so the ISTJ will know ahead of time when she will have to be in conversation with you, and know it won't be too often for her to handle, and it won't interrupt her while she has her Tunnel Vision on.
 

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I'd agree with the do not reliquish control as a supervisor. You are the boss. When I have a boss I acquiesce. That's the nature of the structure. It doesn't mean you don't acknowledge her contributions and strong points and hear her out to an extent, just that you were hired for your position for a reason and you steer the ship.
 
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I did tell her it was not needed, but when she mentioned it in front of my boss she volunteered to work on it this weekend. He agreed to let her. I told him later that I disagreed with the decision, because on Monday she will comes back to work irritated for not being compensated and "burned" out.
You might have missed by not saying,at the time when the employee mentioned it, that you and she had already discussed it and you thought it was not necessary, and uneccesarily burdensome to take on, at this time. I've been there myself...

What did your boss say when you discussed it with him/ her afterwards?
 

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Discussion Starter #9
My roommate is an ISTJ. Obviously, not being there and not having all of the info, I'm just hypothesizing, but I think you might want to consider that when the ISTJ says micro-managing, she doesn't mean what you think. An ISTJ meaning for an abstract word can be very different from what you would expect.

My roommate says "micro-managing" when referring to the fact that the manager is speaking to him too often.

That's it.

Has nothing to do with actually coming in and telling him to get a particular part of his job done a certain way. The very fact that a manager opens their mouth to speak with him too often is what he is referring to when he says this. He has a hard time dealing with the unpredictable intrusions into his tasks.

I'm not saying this is what your ISTJ means, I'm just letting you know I run into this unique definition issue with my roommate A LOT.

You might consider setting up scheduled times to confer with her, times when she won't regularly be deep into a task, and not too frequently, so the ISTJ will know ahead of time when she will have to be in conversation with you, and know it won't be too often for her to handle, and it won't interrupt her while she has her Tunnel Vision on.
Thank you so much for your reply. I think you are right regarding the micromanaging. I notice too much interaction puts her into overload. In fact, it was great to read your post this afternoon. Today we actually met and I told her I would like specific short meetings, at least 2x per week and surprisingly she was agreeable. It was great to see a post that reinforced my actions!
 

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I am a female ENFP that is supervising a female ISTJ. We both agree on our respective roles, however, she (ISTJ) has complained of being micromanaged, she needs more control of the worker bees on the team, and that the program needs to be more organized. I really cannot own the micromanagement complaint. I've been to several trainings lately and shown examples of my actions and I've been told to "step up" more, that I'm being too timid as a supervisor. Often she has plans to manage the tasks, but they are seldom shared with me, so I'm left guessing. As an ENFP - I'm more visionary. I truly respect her, but there seems to be no meeting 1/2 way. However, I have tried to back off and give her space,but she still complains. I can live with her directing the team more (although in my mind she already does this and a little part of me wonders if it is smart for me to relinquish control) and adding more organization to the documents and program. We currently meet with our boss 1/week to discuss these interactions, but it is EXHAUSTING. Any advice, success experiences, etc.? Am I in a WIN-LOSE situation?
Hey there. I read your post, and I really cannot tell what is going on from it. I can tell there is some miscommunication going on. I get a sense this ISTJ may some control issues? Be a bit narcissistic, or angry at you/jealous of you for some reason? Does she want your job. She seems to think she can do a better job of it than you can.

I really don't think this is a ENFP ISTJ problem. I worked on a project 2 years ago with an ENFP and we worked brilliantly together. He gave me his vision, assigned me a task and I'd go off and compete it, then go back to him and show him what I'd done and he loved it. My strengths were his weaknesses and his strengths were my weaknesses so as a team we were great.

Soo...anyhow, I really am not sure what's going on here, but it sounds rather weird.

The one thing I will say is that ISTJs like to do what they are interested in, and what they feel is a priority, and we can be rather slack with other work that bores us. Also, I have difficulty in managing more than a few projects at one time..it makes my head spin. I am a very all or nothing thinker which is common for Si dominant types apparently and feel things are getting out of control if I'm spinning too many plates.

The other thing I will say is that some Ne-doms can very quickly make me feel overwhelmed and panicky at times because there's so much going on in their head. Then I have trouble focusing on the task I'm meant to be doing and I go all chaotic in my head.
 

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I appreciate you post. I do think ENFP and ISTJs do clash to a point. However, you are correct if you both have an understanding it can be brilliant. She definitely gets overwhelmed if ther are too many tasks, and I can't blame her for that. We actually had a nice conversation this week. But my boss has lost confidence in me, because he is listening to her minor complaints. She even told him last week that he was making this into a problem, when she just wanted answers to some questions of roles and responsibilities. Primarily I see that she wants to establish swim lanes, that no one can cross, but being the overall supervisor this is just not possible. I'm hoping that she is seeing things like I am...we're better off as a team vs getting top mgmt involved. She did say our meetings with him were a waste of time.
 

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@LimeDegree

Couldn't have said it better myself.

That being said, @kaypersonality, can you take the time to sit down and ask her what would make things work better? If she's ISTJ, she probably has a very clear idea of what she wants fixed. Tell her to pick the top two things that would improve her working situation and make the effort to follow through on those. By giving her some compromise but not all you'll save yourself time and make her feel as if she's helped solve the matter.

If the things she asks for are unrealistic, be honest and explain that. See where else you can meet halfway. If she's not stepping up to the plate on compromise, let her know. Be fair, but be firm. Let her know what you have time for and what you don't.
 
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Thanks - great advice. I'll definitely try it today. And if I can work this out before our meeting with the boss and maybe it will appease him too. I really appreciate all of the support! Once more question. I'm thinking about telling my boss that I need his support in the following manner: if he "hears" something at the water cooler or gets a complaint that he needs to talk with me immediately. I find he either doesn't tell me or waits 3 to 4 months and keeps me guessing. For example, yesterday he indicated an email I answered made someone angry. I asked my employee and she honestly couldn't remember anything. So I'm left guessing and I certainly don't feel like he has my back.
 
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