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Discussion Starter #1
-what do you think of ENFPs?
-anything that irritates you?
-what are you looking for in a potential spouse?
-is it a bad sign if an INFJ wants to take it slow/be friends first?
-it is disrespectful to someone that wants to be friends first to flirt with or try to be irresistible? if not, how can you be irresistible?
-How do you know if a particular INFJ is worth your time?
-What do you think of getting engaged to someone you've known for less than a year?
-if someone describes you as easy to talk to, very intelligent and funny, and very kind, does that sound like someone you would consider being with long term, or more as a friend?
-if you've seen me around the site over the years, is there anything about me that has concerned you or areas for improvement? do you think I'd be a good match for an INFJ based on what you know about me? (I have changed a lot recently, so I may not be the same person)
-what would be the perfect date for you? do you prefer to take it slow? do you appreciate small gestures like receiving small gifts, or things like pulling out chairs, opening doors for each other? does gender roles play a part?
-what has been the best and worst parts about being with an ENFP female?

Thanks everyone. I am really, really into this guy.
 
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What do you think of ENFPs?
 




Anything that irritates you?
Restlessness, need for other people (besides my glorious arse).

What are you looking for in a potential spouse?
Not looking for one.

Is it a bad sign if an INFJ wants to take it slow/be friends first?
No. Personally, I know no other way.

It is disrespectful to someone that wants to be friends first to flirt with or try to be irresistible?
Yes. Keep your calm.

How do you know if a particular INFJ is worth your time?
Ask them to recite any random poem while sharing their durian with you. If the poem is any good and you do get some durian, definitely worth it.

What do you think of getting engaged to someone you've known for less than a year?
Hasty.

If someone describes you as easy to talk to, very intelligent and funny, and very kind, does that sound like someone you would consider being with long term, or more as a friend?
It's the same thing. Those things + sexy = relationship material.

If you've seen me around the site over the years, is there anything about me that has concerned you or areas for improvement? do you think I'd be a good match for an INFJ based on what you know about me? (I have changed a lot recently, so I may not be the same person)
Don't remember you at all.

What would be the perfect date for you? do you prefer to take it slow? do you appreciate small gestures like receiving small gifts, or things like pulling out chairs, opening doors for each other? does gender roles play a part?
Those things matter to people who use the love language of acts of service. I can do them but I don't care much either way. Virtually my only love language is touch.

As for the perfect date ... picture a quiet garden on a dark, warm night ... a table with a fine selection of fresh durian, some candles randomly floating in the air ... an orchestra playing Mendelssohn, perhaps Shostakovich - heck, any classical music will do - somewhere in the dark, just the two of you ... writing poems to one another. No talking, except when you recite them.

What has been the best and worst parts about being with an ENFP female?
Never got that far. I'm one of these, keeping up with an Ne-dom isn't realistic enough to even dream of it.

Thanks everyone. I am really, really into this guy.
The best of luck to you.
 
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1. It's one of my favourite types.
2. When you're with me, give me your undivided attention.
3. Openness, developed taste (classical musical/visual art), well-read, rational, caring, and reasonably principled.
4. Not necessarily. Just make sure that it's not too slow.
5. I love playfulness, but don't overdo the irresistible bit.
6. That's a very subjective decision.
7. Depends on the circumstances. Again, this is very subjective. It depends on whether you know what you want, what's good for you, and whether you can successfully identify all that in your potential partner.
8. Sounds like you have a good chance.
9. I haven't seen you around really.
10. More or less the same as Marvin's perfect date. I definitely like all those things. I think both partners should always be gracious to one another. Such small acts go a long way.
11. Never had the pleasure.
 

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Discussion Starter #5
Haha, hilarious

Anything that irritates you?
Restlessness, need for other people (besides my glorious arse).
Yeah, that describes me pretty well. But I also enjoy my own company. Can get needy sometimes.

Is it a bad sign if an INFJ wants to take it slow/be friends first?
No. Personally, I know no other way.
Oooooh. Okay. I still really wanna be with him, and have some idea of how he feels about me. I'm finding it difficult, feeling kind of rejected. Like does he see me as a potential girlfriend? I have no idea. :-(

It is disrespectful to someone that wants to be friends first to flirt with or try to be irresistible?
Yes. Keep your calm.
Thanks, good to know. Soooo difficult though. So shouldn't dress up around him, wear make-up or touch his arm randomly?

How do you know if a particular INFJ is worth your time?
Ask them to recite any random poem while sharing their durian with you. If the poem is any good and you do get some durian, definitely worth it.
Noooooo... what if he doesn't *like* durian? and what if you already ate it?

What do you think of getting engaged to someone you've known for less than a year?
Hasty.
Yeah. But I'm nearly 29. My Dad tried to propose to my mum after 3 months and she put her hand over his mouth to stop him. I think they got engaged after 9 months. I am already pretty sure this guy is solid, like I really trust him and he's really kind and genuine. He's easy to talk to and a good listener. Also we're Christians so we would probably get serious faster (if we ever get past the friend stage). Someone told me you should know someone for 5 years before you get married, but he was having sex with his wife within a week of meeting her, so what does he know?!? I really want to get out of my living situation and start a life with the right person, and if I meet someone that I'm sure about, I don't want to waste time just hanging out or whatever. That being said, this would be my first boyfriend so maybe I'd be terrible as a girlfriend, I have a lot to learn and I get that it's important to build a strong foundation.

If someone describes you as easy to talk to, very intelligent and funny, and very kind, does that sound like someone you would consider being with long term, or more as a friend?
It's the same thing. Those things + sexy = relationship material.
No idea if he finds me sexy or attractive. Don't feel comfortable asking him.

If you've seen me around the site over the years, is there anything about me that has concerned you or areas for improvement? do you think I'd be a good match for an INFJ based on what you know about me? (I have changed a lot recently, so I may not be the same person)
Don't remember you at all.
I haven't been around much in the last 4-5 years. I was pretty active before then, mostly in the ENFP boards.

What would be the perfect date for you? do you prefer to take it slow? do you appreciate small gestures like receiving small gifts, or things like pulling out chairs, opening doors for each other? does gender roles play a part?
Those things matter to people who use the love language of acts of service. I can do them but I don't care much either way. Virtually my only love language is touch.

As for the perfect date ... picture a quiet garden on a dark, warm night ... a table with a fine selection of fresh durian, some candles randomly floating in the air ... an orchestra playing Mendelssohn, perhaps Shostakovich - heck, any classical music will do - somewhere in the dark, just the two of you ... writing poems to one another. No talking, except when you recite them.
Lol... this date you speak of sounds very specific to you. Although I do think it sounds nice.

I guess I have to learn his love language. Might make early stages of dating hard, if he doesn't appreciate stuff I do to try and make him happy. Although, he seems pretty thoughtful so I think he would.

The best of luck to you.
Thanks xox
 
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Oooooh. Okay. I still really wanna be with him, and have some idea of how he feels about me. I'm finding it difficult, feeling kind of rejected. Like does he see me as a potential girlfriend? I have no idea. :-(
It would probably help to know what the rest of his social life looks like. What level of attention do you get compared to the rest of the ladies he socialises with? With me, this is super easy - if I talk to you at all IRL, I'm interested. Most INFJs are more social so you'd need to see how they handle the rest of their entourage.

As for attractiveness, isn't it just one of those body language things you can't communicate in words until you're past a certain stage? Just have to read his body language and communicate with your own. See how he responds. Being playful is probably the right way to go about it, communicate with your body and see how his responds. This part of the mating ritual isn't intellectual, after all ... it's all Tarzan.
 

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I know I'm not a boy, buttttt I wanna respond to a few things...

Dress up, makeup, no reasonable INFJ is gonna mind either way. We are not the "in the know" fashion types, so when you add his being male to the mix, he won't notice anything but whether you look pretty. Just put fabric on, because he might notice nudity.

Keeping in mind inferior functions is the best way to be perceptively kind & thoughtful.
Ours being Se:

* Do avoid the touching until it's going somewhere (with words) first.
Casual touch feels pretty intimate to us, so without clear definition of the nature of the relationship he may withdraw if you initiate even if he is super interested... because again, it feels pretty intimate to us.

* Reduce surprises.
When I dated an ENFP, what drove me nuts was the surprises. Not a happy birthday, mind, but last minute changes of plans.
We would be going to one restaurant, and then next thing you know he's parked at another... and he didn't appreciate my lack of effervescent enjoyment at changes he found exhilarating.

When you make a plan with an INFJ and fail to carry it through, you loose major points, and eventually respect. Whether or not they understand your intentions, it still erodes their opinion of you.

If you think you might change your mind about something, tell him you don't know, and don't commit to any particular action... that way he can stay ready for whatever your answer ends up being. Unless it's too late.

Our inferior Se can really bite at us when we aren't prepared to deal with something in the environment.
The more "fun" something seems, the more warning he should have ahead of time.
This especially goes for group events... don't let mutual friends drag him into endless uncomfortable experiences, if you want to show him you care.


* Don't expect him to love you back with your love language. You use Si to some extent, we just don't. An INFJ is more likely to forget a chair exists than to pull it out for you, but if he remembers on some occasions realize it took a Herculean effort to get the timing of that mindfulness right.
Really think about Si and what it means, and then realize that his is in dead last 8th place in the function stack.
On polls in the past, INFJs on this forum answered the Love Language question with Quality Time, Words of Affirmation, and Physical Touch (from intimate ones) right at the top. I'm fairly certain that Acts of Service was at the bottom, but in any case, you can casually bring the subject up to him and find out what his top 2 are. That will give you a better idea of what he naturally recognizes as love, although with time & effort everyone can learn to translate the other languages.

* Try not to play the male lead... this has nothing to do with type, and everything to do with penis.
Sure you can be the Extrovert pulling on his innie self, and that works, but just know where to draw the line and let him find his own voice. Because otherwise the whole arrangement can end up really lopsided... And the last thing any self respecting lady wants to realize is that her SO thinks of her similarly to his mommy! Those relationships are out there, trust me.

A year doesn't sound too short for getting engaged. If in a year you don't know a person well enough to say "yes", then either you're incompatible, or the dating time was wasted not getting to know each other.
However, you say you haven't been in a relationship before, and that's a hiccup as far as fast progression goes. There's stuff to learn the hard way in relationships that doesn't have anything to do with type. Thankfully, you probably have a good foundation in forgiveness, but if you don't, look into some resources on how to accomplish it quickly & effectively (I can provide links if you need)... because honestly, you're going to need it. Penis bearers within relationships require more forgiveness than your average person.
Clear communication is another big one. Practice talking about difficult subjects before anyone gets upset.

And make sure you don't commit to someone just because you want a different life. The grass really, really, isn't always greener.
Make sure you remain happy with him after you get together, before you commit to anything. It's not a kindness between two people if they keep going just because the ball is already rolling.


Anyway, If/when you do want to get touchy, use your playfulness to advantage.
We inferior Se types have a somewhat childlike appreciation for stuff like tossing a ball back and forth, pool noodle fights, mini drink sword fights, board games, ect ect.
Just make sure it's not possibly dangerous, like no pushing into a pool, and he's likely to enjoy physical games with you, and it helps breach that ground between no-touch and...
 

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Discussion Starter #8
It would probably help to know what the rest of his social life looks like. What level of attention do you get compared to the rest of the ladies he socialises with? With me, this is super easy - if I talk to you at all IRL, I'm interested. Most INFJs are more social so you'd need to see how they handle the rest of their entourage.

As for attractiveness, isn't it just one of those body language things you can't communicate in words until you're past a certain stage? Just have to read his body language and communicate with your own. See how he responds. Being playful is probably the right way to go about it, communicate with your body and see how his responds. This part of the mating ritual isn't intellectual, after all ... it's all Tarzan.
We talk for an hour or two everyday. I don't know if he talks to other women, hes encouraged me to date a few other guys, to see if I actually know what I want. I'm not into it though, I want HIM.

Thanks for the other advice, good stuff :)
 

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hes encouraged me to date a few other guys, to see if I actually know what I want.

Eeeek!
Not a good sign, unless he's like 40 and so mature he doesn't blink at a challenge of any kind.

But an INFJ saying "date other people"?
That's code for... letting you down easy :(
 

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Discussion Starter #10
Eeeek!
Not a good sign, unless he's like 40 and so mature he doesn't blink at a challenge of any kind.

But an INFJ saying "date other people"?
That's code for... letting you down easy :(
I know it sounds really bad and like something someone would say to someone they don't like...but... we went to the same self help/Christian conference together (it's how we met), and one of the topics they covered was dating. The lady taking it, who is a therapist, suggested that we date "like the Americans" and hang out with several people of the opposite gender at once, so we learnt dating skills and how to tell what we like.

The thing is, I already knew what I was looking for. I met five guys that I liked. One was married and made it very clear to me that he was not interested (I kind of flirted with him for a bit because when I mentioned he had a wife I wasn't sure if I heard him properly so I wanted confirmation), and then I felt like the other four also liked me. Two were way too young. I asked out the remaining two guys and one said yeah let's hang out, and the other one said that he wanted to focus on God for a while, so maybe later?

So maybe he wants me to meet other guys, maybe he doesn't? he's extremely mature and laid back. Maybe he just sees me as a friend? he said he wanted to get to know me before dating. He's really sweet. My initial response after spending some time with him was that I wanted to keep in touch and maybe set him up with a friend, because he has all the qualities that a girl could possibly want in a guy. Then I thought, that's stupid, if I want to keep him in my life, why don't I date him? Like, if I had to give him a ranking out of 10, I'd give him like a 50/10. I was a bit thrown off, because he's not my usual type, but I think I was being too fussy. This guy is still gorgeous- tall, slim, friendly looking, pleasant, soft voice, well groomed, dresses well but quirky style, perfect teeth, beautiful smile, kind eyes.

Like if he does like me, I'm not sure what he even sees in me. My life is a bit of a mess, and my body has a lot of room for improvement. He could do sooooo much better. I wouldn't blame him.
 

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As an INFJ, yes, we tend to take it pretty slow, and while we will eventually ask someone out in can take WAY too long for us to feel comfortable/work up the courage (at least from my experience). So my advice: if you think he likes you, ask him out. If you guys talk on a regular basis and have shared interests you have a good chance. For the way he described you, yes, that sounds like someone I could be in a relationship with. As for being engaged in under a year, unless he brings it up, probably not. Small gestures can be nice, but they're probably not going to change the way I feel about someone. Traditional gender roles don't matter too much to me. A perfect date can be many things, something we both enjoy (could be dinner, going to the movies, anything really). There aren't any "worst parts" of being an ENFP, just remember your INFJ will need a decent amount of downtime, and large/busy social interactions will drain us fast.
 

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Discussion Starter #12
I know I'm not a boy, buttttt I wanna respond to a few things...
It's cool, I don't mind who responds, as long as they are helpful and kind. I only mentioned our genders as a reference point.

Dress up, makeup, no reasonable INFJ is gonna mind either way. We are not the "in the know" fashion types, so when you add his being male to the mix, he won't notice anything but whether you look pretty.
He seems to know what he's doing as far as clothing goes, he was well groomed and nicely dressed.

Just put fabric on, because he might notice nudity.
Haha, you are so funny! I cracked up at this part. I think it would be a red flag if I showed up in a public place, nude.

Keeping in mind inferior functions is the best way to be perceptively kind & thoughtful.
Ours being Se:
Ok. Gotta do some research on Se.

* Do avoid the touching until it's going somewhere (with words) first.
Casual touch feels pretty intimate to us, so without clear definition of the nature of the relationship he may withdraw if you initiate even if he is super interested... because again, it feels pretty intimate to us.
Okay, good to know.

* Reduce surprises.
When I dated an ENFP, what drove me nuts was the surprises. Not a happy birthday, mind, but last minute changes of plans.
We would be going to one restaurant, and then next thing you know he's parked at another... and he didn't appreciate my lack of effervescent enjoyment at changes he found exhilarating.
That annoys the hell out of me as well, so I'm totally cool with it.

When you make a plan with an INFJ and fail to carry it through, you loose major points, and eventually respect. Whether or not they understand your intentions, it still erodes their opinion of you.
Same! people have made heaps of promises to me, that they've forgotten, then refused to keep them and it's made me so sad. Especially when they claim they never made those promises in the first place.

* Don't expect him to love you back with your love language. You use Si to some extent, we just don't. An INFJ is more likely to forget a chair exists than to pull it out for you, but if he remembers on some occasions realize it took a Herculean effort to get the timing of that mindfulness right.
Really think about Si and what it means, and then realize that his is in dead last 8th place in the function stack.
On polls in the past, INFJs on this forum answered the Love Language question with Quality Time, Words of Affirmation, and Physical Touch (from intimate ones) right at the top. I'm fairly certain that Acts of Service was at the bottom, but in any case, you can casually bring the subject up to him and find out what his top 2 are. That will give you a better idea of what he naturally recognizes as love, although with time & effort everyone can learn to translate the other languages.
Ok, thanks, that's really helpful. I am somewhat uncomfortable with touch, but I guess if it were the right guy, I'd get over it. I was actually planning on using all of the love languages, but I don't know what he'd respond to.

* Try not to play the male lead... this has nothing to do with type, and everything to do with penis.
Omg, everytime you mention "penis" I get the giggles. So random, so unexpected. What does playing the male lead mean?

A year doesn't sound too short for getting engaged. If in a year you don't know a person well enough to say "yes", then either you're incompatible, or the dating time was wasted not getting to know each other.
On one hand I really agree with this, on the other hand, I thought that it took at least three years to really know what someones like. But that was before I met someone that I really trusted. Maybe I'm being a massive idiot at the moment. I think I'm worried by the fact that I'm almost 30 and still single, and I want to have kids well before I'm 40. Like taking my time seems like the most sensible thing to do, but I'm terrified that this guy doesn't actually like me, and I'll go through like 10 more guys before I meet the right person, and all of the relationships will drag out, not really going anywhere, and I wasted all this time. I'm not enjoying this stage, I really just want to be his girlfriend, or know that he likes me in a romantic way and at least, wants to date me.

However, you say you haven't been in a relationship before, and that's a hiccup as far as fast progression goes. There's stuff to learn the hard way in relationships that doesn't have anything to do with type. Thankfully, you probably have a good foundation in forgiveness, but if you don't, look into some resources on how to accomplish it quickly & effectively (I can provide links if you need)... because honestly, you're going to need it.
I think some resources would be great :) please send through some resources if you hav ethem.

Penis bearers within relationships require more forgiveness than your average person.
LOL! you obvious haven't met some of the women in my life...

Clear communication is another big one. Practice talking about difficult subjects before anyone gets upset.
Talking to him has been extremely easy, he's a great listener, very empathetic.

And make sure you don't commit to someone just because you want a different life. The grass really, really, isn't always greener.
Make sure you remain happy with him after you get together, before you commit to anything. It's not a kindness between two people if they keep going just because the ball is already rolling.
Agreed. I am happy to stay where I am for another year or two, but it's still causing me a lot of pain. If I wasn't a Christian and didn't value God, I would probably move in with my boyfriend within six months. I think my life would be better with him, I feel so much peace when we are together. He makes me feel safe, relaxed, accepted and happy.

Anyway, If/when you do want to get touchy, use your playfulness to advantage.
We inferior Se types have a somewhat childlike appreciation for stuff like tossing a ball back and forth, pool noodle fights, mini drink sword fights, board games, ect ect.
Okay, I'll try and keep this in mind.

Thanks for all the advice, you seem to know what you are talking about xox
 
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I'd give him like a 50/10.
Absolutely no offense and I'm half-joking, but all I could think of when I read this post is "Fi-idealising big time" and "dude is probably a sociopath/serial killer/only someone who has some real bad shit to hide would make an effort to seem that perfect".

I don't know about you, but I like my hunams obviously flawed, the kind who wear their scars on their sleeve so to speak. That way, I know what kind of fight to prepare for.
 

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As an INFJ, yes, we tend to take it pretty slow, and while we will eventually ask someone out in can take WAY too long for us to feel comfortable/work up the courage (at least from my experience). So my advice: if you think he likes you, ask him out. If you guys talk on a regular basis and have shared interests you have a good chance. For the way he described you, yes, that sounds like someone I could be in a relationship with. As for being engaged in under a year, unless he brings it up, probably not. Small gestures can be nice, but they're probably not going to change the way I feel about someone. Traditional gender roles don't matter too much to me. A perfect date can be many things, something we both enjoy (could be dinner, going to the movies, anything really). There aren't any "worst parts" of being an ENFP, just remember your INFJ will need a decent amount of downtime, and large/busy social interactions will drain us fast.
I've technically already asked him out, and I told him I had strong feelings for him, and liked him, and he was like I'm really flattered, but I need to get to know you first.

He's seen me at my worst- seven kilos heavier, crying everyday, talking about my Bipolar, talking about my secret/binge eating, having a go at someone then apologising to them, being somewhat sleep deprived, talking about my difficult relationships with the people in my life, and he still wants to hang out with me. It takes a strong person to see past all that. He is constantly encouraging and supporting me, and telling me that he believes in me, and that all of my dreams are possible if I believe in them as well.

I think he's seen my serious, slightly depressed side, and me challenging our teacher side, but he hasn't seen my goofy, light hearted, fun side. Maybe that's part of the problem.

I won't talk about stuff like engagement until we have been together for like six months. I've known him for about six weeks. Hoping for something serious by the end of next year.

I need a lot of down time myself. We socialised heavily for a week at a conference, and it took me about three weeks to feel like myself again. I had to avoid a lot of social events because I felt so drained. I feel like an introverted extrovert, like I am somewhat shy and not super outgoing, I get embarrassed easily (particulary if people are laughing at me, not with me), and I really value time by myself. I think I'm an ambivert, because I start to get lonely if I'm alone for more than a week. I like spending time with people and being loud and obnoxious if people are familiar to me and I feel safe with them. I enjoy groups of five or less, I hate being in a situation where I am forced to interact with more than one or two people I don't know, unless they are really kind.
 

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I showed this guy interest because I DID NOT want to lose contact with someone so amazing. And I kind of wanted to date him. I get the feeling if I hadn't reached out to him that he would have never, ever asked me out. And that hurts. Like, I don't matter to him at all.

I think one of the reasons I've been single for so long is that most of the people I click with are introverts and they are too shy to ask me out themselves. If I had more confidence and had been aware of this as a teenager, I'm sure I would have had at least five boyfriends by now.
 

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Absolutely no offense and I'm half-joking, but all I could think of when I read this post is "Fi-idealising big time" and "dude is probably a sociopath/serial killer/only someone who has some real bad shit to hide would make an effort to seem that perfect".

I don't know about you, but I like my hunams obviously flawed, the kind who wear their scars on their sleeve so to speak. That way, I know what kind of fight to prepare for.
LOL. To be fair, when we first met, I wasn't that interested in him. He's seen me say and do some crazy stuff because I was super emotional for the week we hung out. I wasn't paying close attention to him except for when we were together because I was so focused on myself, and my own self development. He probably wasn't perfect the whole time, but I wasn't watching him closely.

He always says the right thing, he was kind to everyone and he was an amazing listener. That gives top points in my books.

I'm pretty flawed.

If I hadn't asked him out, I doubt he would have asked me out. I don't know if he even saw me that way.
 
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LOL. To be fair, when we first met, I wasn't that interested in him. He's seen me say and do some crazy stuff because I was super emotional for the week we hung out. I wasn't paying close attention to him except for when we were together because I was so focused on myself, and my own self development. He probably wasn't perfect the whole time, but I wasn't watching him closely.

He always says the right thing, he was kind to everyone and he was an amazing listener. That gives top points in my books.

I'm pretty flawed.

If I hadn't asked him out, I doubt he would have asked me out. I don't know if he even saw me that way.
Good luck. It's nice to feel that rush when you really like someone, but it's even nicer to detect their flaws and figure out what it would take to make things work. For Ni anyway :laughing: Gotta plan for everything that could go wrong, lol. And then wing it...
 
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Good luck. It's nice to feel that rush when you really like someone, but it's even nicer to detect their flaws and figure out what it would take to make things work. For Ni anyway :laughing: Gotta plan for everything that could go wrong, lol. And then wing it...
Lol. That sounds very stressful. I would usually do that myself, but when I like someone I tend to overlook the flaws.
 
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Lol. That sounds very stressful. I would usually do that myself, but when I like someone I tend to overlook the flaws.
Yes, Fi has that tendency ... very Biblical. The bitter truth of real-life relationships is however that they are more often ruined by flaws than they are saved by virtues. While I don't recommend anyone to only look for flaws, it's nice to have mapped out the terrain. No matter how strong your love, that pesky toilet seat will still have to come down eventually.

It can be a bit different if your intention is casual, there's no aim to be together forever; when shit hits the fan, you abandon the ship and find a new one. Not that I would recommend it. But when you're gunning for marriage, it's a good idea to spend some serious time mapping out the holes in the hull, so to speak.

Says someone who didn't, and has been regretting that fateful decision for 16 years.
 

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Discussion Starter #20
Yes, Fi has that tendency ... very Biblical. The bitter truth of real-life relationships is however that they are more often ruined by flaws than they are saved by virtues. While I don't recommend anyone to only look for flaws, it's nice to have mapped out the terrain. No matter how strong your love, that pesky toilet seat will still have to come down eventually.

It can be a bit different if your intention is casual, there's no aim to be together forever; when shit hits the fan, you abandon the ship and find a new one. Not that I would recommend it. But when you're gunning for marriage, it's a good idea to spend some serious time mapping out the holes in the hull, so to speak.

Says someone who didn't, and has been regretting that fateful decision for 16 years.
I want to be with him forever. But I haven't known him long enough to know if that's a wise decision.

So far, he has shown himself to be very considerate, so I don't think the toliet seat would be an issue. Was hoping to have more than one bathroom anyway, so shouldn't be an issue. And besides that, I'd rather deal with the toliet seat, then be alone for the rest of my life or with a real awful man.
 
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